http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/20aiTV/9gag.com/gag/48987/

lol

12/3/2010 1:42:42 PM

here's some help...

Quote :

"Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary… 8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 PM – Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 PM – Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 PM – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 PM – Milk bones! My favorite thing! 7:00 PM – Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 PM – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 PM – Sleeping on the bed! M y favorite thing! "

Quote :

" Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary: Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Bastards. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now……… "

12/3/2010 1:43:58 PM

Quote :

"I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded."

I lol'd

12/3/2010 1:50:32 PM

I thought this thread was about milking cats

12/3/2010 1:51:42 PM

I, too, got this e-mail forward from my Mom in 2003.

12/3/2010 1:52:05 PM

^

12/3/2010 1:53:41 PM

The dog sounds like:

12/3/2010 2:29:00 PM

This has been around the entire Internet 18 times now. Congratulations on being behind even my grandmother.

12/3/2010 5:32:46 PM

I, too, have been behind your grandmother.

12/3/2010 5:49:19 PM

^

/thread

12/3/2010 5:50:08 PM

you know, i've been guilty of posting [old] items. why, even yesterday it happened.

but seriously, this is older than moses.

12/3/2010 7:23:49 PM

lol my mom sent this to me a really long time ago but i still laugh when i read it. especially owning both species. its pretty accurate

12/3/2010 10:33:49 PM