1. Tissues
2. Napkins
3. Paper Towels
4. Receipts
5. Newspaper
6. Socks

If all those fail I usually just hop in the shower.

1/4/2011 9:42:50 AM

Paper towels then head to the grocery store so next time I don't have to worry about it

1/4/2011 9:44:26 AM

Peter or I just go to the store before it is an issue.

1/4/2011 9:46:05 AM

I've used a paper bag when I was shitting out in the woods.

1/4/2011 9:52:54 AM

Does this apply to running out of tp only in the bathroom or completely running out of all tp in the house?

The answer is very different depending on which question you're actually asking.

1/4/2011 9:53:57 AM

1. TP

I'm responsible enough not to run out.

And for damn sure am not using my socks. Don't want that stank foot.

1/4/2011 9:58:07 AM

All TP in the house, of course.

I'm not above scrambling from bathroom to bathroom to find that last roll before the poop hardens and cakes.

1/4/2011 10:05:00 AM

dumb bitches go to paper towels before asking where the tp is


clogged up my downstairs toilet at several of my keg parties. They couldn't even bother to look under the sink. I even put signs on the door telling where they could find more, or to ask me before using paper towels- still dumb bitches being dumb bitches

1/4/2011 10:08:11 AM

don't expect to have kegs and logical thinkers in the same house.

1/4/2011 10:16:29 AM

haha true- these very well could have been the party girls who were doing keg stands at 7pm and playing beerpong/flip cup even when I woke up the next morning

1/4/2011 10:19:09 AM

You forgot the warsh cloth.

Quote :

"I've used a paper bag when I was shitting out in the woods."

I, too, have drank 40s of King Cobra in the woods and had to use the bag for this purpose.

1/4/2011 10:22:36 AM

I have a bidet at home.

I don't wipe. Just hose the anus down and dry off.

Feels good man.

1/4/2011 10:37:25 AM

1/4/2011 11:10:45 AM

If the rest of the house is somehow out:

1) Paper towels
2) Napkins
3) Tissues (I don't normally have any in the house)
4) Shower

1/4/2011 12:20:15 PM

Take it like a man, wipe it with your hand!

1/4/2011 12:34:56 PM

typical TWW thread ITT

1/4/2011 12:48:38 PM

Quote :

"4. Receipts "

how is that above newspaper and socks? do you have jumbo receipts or something? seems like you would get shit all over your hands using a receipt

1/4/2011 12:55:50 PM

Quote :

"HOSE THE ANUS DOWN"

Quote :

"FEELS GOOD MAN"

1/4/2011 1:05:27 PM

^^ ah, but you're forgetting the grocery store receipts with 5 coupons and surveys tacked on the end. We're talking a few feet of paper here. A couple of those is the equivalent of a dozen sheets of TP.

1/4/2011 1:39:19 PM

I just pull up my pants and let it slowly dry and flake off down my pant leg as I go about my day.
Shawshank style.

1/4/2011 1:49:58 PM

1. TP
2. Hand

1/4/2011 1:50:21 PM

has anyone mentioned the use of the actual empty tube itself

1/4/2011 1:55:48 PM

Only as a finishing wipe. Surely you're not advocating that the roll could support an entire dump's worth of wiping?

1/4/2011 1:56:51 PM

i didnt list it at the top of the list, but it's an option (and more than likely, unless ive emptied the bathroom trashcan, there are several tubes in there)

1/4/2011 2:05:03 PM

I don't have a hierarchy, but I know that coffee filters would have no place in it

Never again

1/4/2011 2:05:55 PM

i also have those wet wipes on the back of the toilet cover, for stubborn stools

1/4/2011 2:07:05 PM

dweedle's being modest. He really uses this.





[Edited on January 4, 2011 at 2:17 PM. Reason : x]

1/4/2011 2:16:36 PM

when one wouldn't flush once, i used this



and got something like this



and i had to put it into one of these



and take it out to one of these

1/4/2011 2:21:48 PM

i love killing a good thread

1/4/2011 4:22:43 PM

the shower is my first and last line of defense

if I know I'm about to take a shower, sometimes I'll just forgo TP altogether

1/4/2011 4:25:44 PM

Wow. Sometimes I think I'm pretty horrible at being an adult, but reading that some of you run out of toilet paper and actually use other items instead of buying more makes me feel a lot better about the job I'm doing.

1/4/2011 5:36:07 PM

Intriguing post.


Lets meet on Sunday at Chick Fil A to discuss.

1/4/2011 5:38:19 PM

i, too, regularly go to the store with a still-shitstained ass to buy more toilet paper when i run out of it during diarrhea

1/4/2011 5:41:36 PM

Quote :

"Shooter: If you're free, join us on Sunday at Chick-fil-a. Happy: What happens there? Shooter: Secret of the pros. Happy: All right, cool. I’m out of here. I hear the Asteroids machine calling my name. Peace."

[Edited on January 4, 2011 at 5:46 PM. Reason : .]

1/4/2011 5:44:14 PM

i was fishing on the bank of the river and had to use a cardboard box from a spool of fishing line

1/4/2011 5:45:39 PM

Quote :

"I have a bidet at home. I don't wipe. Just hose the anus down and dry off. Feels good man."

are you talking assuming the goatse position or what?

1/4/2011 5:47:15 PM

Usually I just take a shower, unless pressed for time and then it's 1. paper towels or 2. boxers/socks.

But I take most of my shits at work anyway.

1/4/2011 5:51:51 PM

Paper towels or shower. fuck the rest.

1/4/2011 5:53:09 PM

I scavenge from the trash can if that fails I will waddle out of the bathroom to the kitchen and grab some paper towels.

1/4/2011 6:29:54 PM