If this thread brings the lols I'll reveal my own recent idiocy

[Edited on January 14, 2011 at 1:06 AM. Reason : ibt "open this thread"]

1/14/2011 1:01:25 AM

"open this thread"

1/14/2011 1:08:46 AM

put an entirely different meaning on "open this thread" than was intended, I believe

I took it more as a "you should start"

[Edited on January 14, 2011 at 1:14 AM. Reason : need rest]

1/14/2011 1:09:39 AM

Christ Air to Superman into a foam pit from a trampoline launch, probably 10 or 12 feet drop.

1/14/2011 1:09:47 AM

um being up right now when i have to work tomorrow

1/14/2011 1:10:23 AM

Miss out on coming to Bada several times over the past few months.

1/14/2011 2:23:09 AM

Every other thing I do is stupid as fuck.

Depleted my cash reserves two fucking weeks before payday. I'll be scrambling for garage work this weekend so I can eat and feed my animals and put gas in the car.

Took a 5 hour nap as soon as I got home from work today...now here I sit, and I gotta get up and go to work in the morning.

Drank caffeine just before going to bed so that I have a sleepless night...and work in the morning.

Fucked a girl on a drunken whim...a girl that I probably should have just left alone, judging from her stalkerific attempts at getting me to spend time with her.

Spent a LOT of time in the last 6 months purely fucking inebriated...at great financial cost...and adding too much to my already ample waistline.

Evidently, my whole existence in the past six months has been full of stupidity.

1/14/2011 2:58:17 AM

you know there's a confessions thread right?

1/14/2011 3:01:11 AM

I had to up the ante so Dave would post his.

1/14/2011 3:03:55 AM

ah, carry on then

1/14/2011 3:06:37 AM

Volunteered to give 3 different presentations in a matter of a few hours from each other, none of which I have prepared yet, in a few days, despite having mostly lost my voice from being sick. I was told, are you sure? You sound like you have laryngitis. The class presentation I could handle, but the presentation for a non-profit's annual retreat will be more difficult. Had a perfect chance to back out. But I insisted.

1/14/2011 3:16:01 AM

thought my bathtub was clogged and poured 2 things of drano down it on two separate occasions. finally I realized the stopper was up the whole time. when did I take a bath?! fml.

[Edited on January 14, 2011 at 4:52 AM. Reason : .]

1/14/2011 4:51:17 AM

someone I work with at work was showing me photos of her in high school...

I didn't put my foot in my mouth when I said "What is it with girls who look great in high school and then gain like 50 lbs in college? They could lose it, but it's a long shot."

Yeah she didn't like that comment... I apologized for the insensitivity, but not for the comment.

1/14/2011 5:28:08 AM

Playing StarCraft 2 last night and I put my medivacs and ground army on the same hotkey.

The front-attack (distraction) with rear drop-in didn't go so well.

[Edited on January 14, 2011 at 8:32 AM. Reason : -]

1/14/2011 8:32:08 AM

^haha fwp.

Spent 25 mins reading tww on the can instead of getting in the shower, have to be at work at 9:00 and I'm nekkid and generally not ready.

1/14/2011 8:39:55 AM

all smart moves for me since circa '99

1/14/2011 8:42:14 AM

Punched a lady I had never met before in the face while she was giving birth to her daughter. Don't ask.

1/14/2011 10:03:56 AM

I haven't done anything more stupid than usual lately so I'm quite proud!

1/14/2011 10:29:50 AM

1) Traveled to Cary Monday night for a business meeting the next morning (winter storm driving)
2) Left my shirt and tie for my suit at home
3) Drove to Walmart praying to God they were open at 7am Tuesday morning
4) Drove back to the hotel to iron my newly purchased shirt
5) Drove to the office to discover the lights out and doors locked (meeting was pushed back)

[Edited on January 14, 2011 at 10:43 AM. Reason : .]

1/14/2011 10:40:24 AM

Left my purse in my unlocked car overnight

1/14/2011 12:50:22 PM

created the "urge to poke" parody

1/14/2011 1:01:10 PM

told my wife that i was going on a 3 day snowboarding excursion/bachelor party over VALENTINES DAY WEEKEND!!!!

1/14/2011 1:18:42 PM

I shouldn't have popped this pimple...after my haircut (and due in part to my receding hairline) my forehead is very conspicuous, and forehead acne stands out like red marks on a blank sheet of computer paper

1/14/2011 5:32:31 PM

Saw my car hit my house, broke my cell phone screen, got hit by deer at two different times, turned down a good paying job because it wasn't exactly what I was looking for, etc, etc... Yeah, 2010 was the year of bad luck.

So far 2011 is going a bit better! Could be a lot better within a week or so.

1/14/2011 5:34:17 PM

Uh it should be totally awesome considering how I heard last night went

1/14/2011 5:37:09 PM

Hahah already some good stuff in here. Dan, this is for you.


Yesterday I was driving to class on my bike and was going down Stinson from the Pullen traffic circle. As I drove down toward the little information booth where they give you access, I thought it was odd that there wasn't the usual barrier arm on the right driveway. Normally if you're on a motorcycle and you're parking in north campus, they've made the arms short enough that you can just ride around the end of it and continue into campus.

So I kept my speed up and just cruised right down the middle of the right side. About 6ft before I got to where the arm should be I fell into the little building's shadow and, in the absence of the sun's glare on my glasses, the arm materialized out of the ether.

I cruised through the barrier with two squealing tires, it snapped like balsa as it hit my chest. Just above my mirrors, just below my neck. I killed the motor and put it on its stand as the girl rushed out and asked if I was OK. I told her the only thing that hurt was my pride. She said people do it all the time, and while I was sure that's the case I never thought I would be that guy.

[Edited on January 14, 2011 at 6:28 PM. Reason : d'oh]

1/14/2011 6:20:34 PM

bahahahahahahahaha


glad to hear your alright- but that is pretty funny man

1/14/2011 6:22:23 PM

hahaha

1/14/2011 6:23:48 PM

too bad no one got a video.

1/14/2011 6:24:22 PM

haha don't think so...but I did scare the shit out of some dude that was walking down the sidewalk. I distinctly remember him going "whaaooOOOOOHH!!!!" as I locked my wheels up and snapped the arm. And then some other guy that apparently saw it gave me a good-natured ribbing as I walked into Cox.

1/14/2011 6:32:07 PM

As the limo pulled up to O'hare to drop me off, he asked what terminal for Frontier. As I checked my phone a look of terror over fell me. How fast can you get me to Midway? I rolled into Midway at 520am with my plane boarding at530 and departing at 6. By some miracle,I made it through security and made the flight.

1/14/2011 6:37:26 PM

Unblocked someone on facebook and within a few days they were texting me again.. the have subsequently been reblocked.

1/14/2011 6:41:06 PM

Damn, Dave...sounds like something I'd do, especially in light of the fact my vision sucks if there's any errant sunlight involved. LOL, wish I had been there to see that.

1/14/2011 7:15:14 PM

Dave, that's pretty hilarious. Unfortunately the humor had to come at your expense. Glad you weren't clotheslined

1/14/2011 7:47:45 PM

I can take a beating the only fear that hit me was the possibility of laying down the bike...she's too pretty to go down over something so stupid

1/14/2011 8:43:46 PM

Quote :

"I cruised through the barrier with two squealing tires, it snapped like balsa as it hit my chest. Just above my mirrors, just below my neck. I killed the motor and put it on its stand as the girl rushed out and asked if I was OK. I told her the only thing that hurt was my pride. She said people do it all the time, and while I was sure that's the case I never thought I would be that guy."

Okay, take out the part about being on a motorcycle, add a bicycle, rewind 11 years, and that's me.

Also, I got snow tires last week in the mail. Looking at them, I noticed a "Direction of Rotation" arrow on them. Two hours later, after I decided to install the first one, I noticed I put it on the wrong side.

1/14/2011 11:35:40 PM

Also, I moved my family to CT over Christmas.

From Hawaii.

1/14/2011 11:37:04 PM

I think I can post in this perpetually -- I was blowing out a candle in my room and I did it from like 6" away, blew it too hard (quotes out of context) and got wax on my face... ouch.

[Edited on January 15, 2011 at 1:33 PM. Reason : x]

1/15/2011 1:33:15 PM

One time I made the mistake of talking to people son.

1/15/2011 1:36:30 PM