How do you handle this kinda thing?

1/25/2011 10:49:15 AM

by avoiding it

1/25/2011 10:49:47 AM

/thread

1/25/2011 10:50:25 AM

I think I'm inclined to agree with pilgrimshoes' advice; thinking this cannot end well.

1/25/2011 10:52:13 AM

I ended up marrying mine. Who knows? I think they mostly end bad.

1/25/2011 10:52:15 AM

your friendship will not be the same if you press forward on this path

1/25/2011 10:52:40 AM

Why are you friends with a chick?

1/25/2011 10:53:20 AM

^ She can probably fart as good as him

1/25/2011 10:55:21 AM

Actually...she can, lol.

1/25/2011 10:56:02 AM

I've handled it before by just going for it. When it ended, it was a little awkward for maybe a year, then it was done and we are friends again.

I have also avoided it, and nothing changed. So, like most things, we eventually stopped hanging out as we both found different interests.

I think it might depend on how long you have been friends, and weigh that against how you would be with not talking to/hanging out/ doing stuff with that person any more, as well as if it would be 'worth it' and where it could lead.

1/25/2011 11:00:02 AM

i am excellent at getting into the friend zone. It's like my best skill

1/25/2011 11:04:43 AM

I've hooked up with two of my best girl"friends". We're still best friends to this day. One of them even lives with my current girlfriend (although she doesn't know we hooked up 3 years ago).

Both of those girls, however, are easily the coolest girls I've ever known. They don't act like normal crazy bitches in a situation like this.

1/25/2011 11:07:03 AM

1. We've known each other since 8th grade...over 25 years. As we got older, she did her thing, I did mine, and we rarely saw each other. We started hanging out again this year (about 6 months ago); it's been more than 15 years since we even saw each other...and it's like nothing ever changed between us.

Well, except this weekend, when that discussion happened. It shocked the fuck out of me.

And this one is in a category of her own...so far from typical bitch, it's unbelievable.

[Edited on January 25, 2011 at 11:12 AM. Reason : blahblah]

1/25/2011 11:11:25 AM

Invite her over, then have rose petals from the door to your bedroom, where you'll lay buck naked on the bed.


Depending on how she reacts, you'll know whether she's GF material or not.

1/25/2011 11:16:23 AM

Just go for it. If it ends badly, so what.

1/25/2011 11:16:38 AM

Invite her over, then have rose petals from the door to your bedroom, where you'll lay buck naked on the bed the refrigerator.


Depending on how she reacts, you'll know whether she's GF material or not.

1/25/2011 11:21:13 AM

If you are "best" friends, don't take the chance of messing that up. If you are just friends, go for it. You will lose touch with most of your friends over time anyway.

1/25/2011 11:22:56 AM

I hooked up with my longtime friend, then we dated, and then we married. They'll never just be your friend ever again.

1/25/2011 11:30:21 AM

Quote :

"I ended up marrying mine. Who knows? I think they mostly end bad."

I've done this three times. First time we're still friends 15 years after the dating ended, one I never talk to anymore, one I'm marrying.

So yeah, it's a toss-up how it will end

1/25/2011 11:33:26 AM

I'm definitely approaching this cautiously if I do. Same for her. Like very cautiously.

1/25/2011 11:48:18 AM

you gonna get murried? congrats!!

1/25/2011 11:49:40 AM

Quote :

"How do you handle this kinda thing?"

Whatever you do, I would ignore your instincts. They seem to have failed for you so far in your love life.

1/25/2011 11:50:02 AM

HAHAHAHA...I can see why you say that.

It's usually ignoring my instincts that has put me in shitty ones in the past. And letting my dick do the thinking.

1/25/2011 11:51:43 AM

truthfully, it's awesome until its not.

it's of when, not if, you reach this point.

1/25/2011 11:52:31 AM

I definitely think you gotta have some serious resolve and willingness to put things behind you if you do this kind of thing and hope to remain friends if the relationship part doesn't work. I don't absolutely know how, or if, I could do that successfully.

1/25/2011 1:05:57 PM

I recently hooked up with a close girl friend I've had through college. It's turned into a fuckbuddy type situation, which is great and all but it's kind of hard to hang out with her as just friends now because I know if she comes over she'll wind up staying and we'll hook up, etc. no complaints here but just sayin' once you walk down that path there's really no going back.

1/25/2011 1:12:27 PM

Quote :

"I've hooked up with two of my best girl"friends". We're still best friends to this day. One of them even lives with my current girlfriend (although she doesn't know we hooked up 3 years ago)."

man, if that ever comes out there's going to be a hilarious scene. but maybe not so hilarious for you.

1/25/2011 1:16:29 PM

Quote :

"One of them even lives with my current girlfriend (although she doesn't know we hooked up 3 years ago)."

sounds like you have your work cut out for you....

you + gf + old booty call roommate + tequila = PROFIT!

1/25/2011 1:17:36 PM

I don't really have any life-long friends of the other gender aside from my sisters.

So I'm emotionally deaf to the argument that you'll risk loosing a good friend. I say hit dat!

1/25/2011 1:22:36 PM

^ and ^^

I honestly don't think it will be that bad. She might be a little disappointed for a while, but we both are pretty accepting of our past sexual lives. And all three of us are pretty easy going.

I'd rather not bring it up, but I'm also not too worried about the consequences should it come out.

1/25/2011 1:24:19 PM

I am of the opinion that to have a successful relationship, one must have something to build that relationship on. The phrase, lover and friend, applies to most people who are currently married. I've known people to get married who were lovers and became friends, but my preference was to build onto an existing friendships and become lovers. I knew we got along great, that I'd never be bored of her company, and tested the waters to see if the sparks were there.

I did it twice. Once - the spark wasn't there - we are glad we figured that out, and are still great friends. The Second - the spark was there - and we are happily married.

In the end, it's really up to you whether to give it a shot or not. To that note, my advice: If it's something you want to do, do it, if it isn't, then don't, but whatever you do, don't sit on the fence and make things generally awkward.

[Edited on January 25, 2011 at 1:30 PM. Reason : spelling ftw]

1/25/2011 1:28:59 PM

HE IS SINGLE BY CHOICE, LADIES!!!!!

1/25/2011 1:29:30 PM

hit that shit.

1/25/2011 1:31:00 PM

yup. bad idea

1/25/2011 1:31:05 PM

dammit, ggmon made me laugh

1/25/2011 1:33:04 PM

Quote :

"i am excellent at getting into the friend zone. It's like my best skill"

made me lol

1/25/2011 1:35:26 PM

If the sexual tension is there then do it.

If there is no sexual tension then you are in the friends zone

If you don't know what sexual tension is, then you are in the friends zone

1/25/2011 1:36:56 PM

Quote :

"HE IS SINGLE BY CHOICE, LADIES!!!!!"

Why yes, yes I have been. Hard for you to believe, I know. But it's true.

^definitely not what I would call a classic case of the friend zone. This is what I'd call damn near lifelong friends that progressed further.

1/25/2011 2:24:26 PM

Quote :

"You will lose touch with most of your friends over time anyway."

1/25/2011 2:30:08 PM

Do you want to keep this person as a close friend or are you indifferent to the whole matter? Are you prepared for the bat-shit crazy things that females do, because that's a real possibility.

A couple years ago I had a female friend who loved to do a lot of the things that I like doing (going to away games, drinking, going to concerts, etc.) Our mutual friends began to tell me that she was dtf. I figured that was just another thing that I liked to do that she also liked to do. What could possibly go wrong?

Turns out that not only was she dtf, but she was IN LOVE WITH ME. It was total and complete, Fatal Attraction-esque obsession. I found this out after fucked a couple times.

I decided to stop fucking her, but that didn't stop her from sucking my dick every time that I could get it hard. It was pretty awesome, to be honest.

Flash forward 6 months later, and her daily meltdowns got to be too much. Getting my dick sucked lost a lot of its appeal when I had to deal with crying on a daily basis, and shit from my other friends for "leading her own." I guess when I said, "I do not ever want to date you. We are not a good fit, and I will never be in a romantic relationship with you," somehow failed to get my point across shortly after we became friends. I was told she was dtf after we had this conversation, so naively thinking that I had found hidden gold proceeded to consummate our "friendship."

tl;dr, summary is = IT'S A TRAP.

1/25/2011 2:30:34 PM

Quote :

"Are you prepared for the bat-shit crazy things that females do, because that's a real possibility"

I agree with this but I do think it does take a special person to handle each woman's individual bat shit crazy so it could be that you get into a situation where you are her person. Just saying. I am a most excellent friend and pretty cool but I think I would prob be bat shit off limits crazy to every guy relationship wise but Ken. IMO, of course.

1/25/2011 2:36:29 PM

I've done this. You ruin the friendship but the sex is great. Being friends with girls is severely overrated. Deal with the pms withno benefits

1/25/2011 2:39:15 PM

Quote :

"You ruin the friendship but the sex is great"

*past performance does not guarantee future results

1/25/2011 2:40:26 PM

Quote :

"i am excellent at getting into the friend zone. It's like my best skill"

me too

1/25/2011 2:40:43 PM

Having more the 3-4 friends is usually more of a burden than a benefit

Fuck that bitch right here on the spot bare till she passes out and forgot how she got there

1/25/2011 2:41:23 PM

how much of this thread is based on that new Kutcher/Portman movie coming out

1/25/2011 2:42:50 PM

True, I was just referring to my xp with it. I would do it all over again as well

1/25/2011 2:43:41 PM

Quote :

"Well, except this weekend, when that discussion happened. It shocked the fuck out of me."

you didn't tell her you have feelings for her did you...

1/25/2011 3:16:09 PM

Quote :

"I was just referring to my xp with it. "

Lets not go out of our way to dork up TWW any more than it already is

1/25/2011 3:17:44 PM

Quote :

"you didn't tell her you have feelings for her did you..."

Actually, no. A bunch of us meet up, hang out for a while Friday night. She and her roommate and another friend of ours took off and headed somewhere else. I get a late night text from her...I can't remember what it was...but it was a little on the forward side. I respond with the usual shit talk and ask her if she's scared. Her reply was...and this came as a little bit of a shock..."Willing to try, don't want to hurt our friendship. There's something there that I can't ignore."

There's more (still another night in the weekend), but suffice it to say, haven't slept with her...

1/25/2011 3:29:21 PM