ALkatraz
All American
11299 Posts
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Let’s get this straight, you’re asking if anybody else got a status update from this guy on their facebook today? Your facebook account which is supposed to be a representative presentation of who you are and what you’re about.
Are you beginning to see the direction my argument is going in? Of course you haven’t. I’ll continue.
Back in the old, dark days of the internet when men were men, women were men and children were FBI agents, no one cared what people thought of them. This was when the internet was still merely a bright spark of newly discovered freedom burning bright against the darkened backdrop of a world half enslaved by totalitarian freedom-hating governments, unscrupulous money grabbing corporations, backwards millennia-old religions and millions upon millions of dead-eyed sheeple. The internet burned brightly as an escape, a way to show who you were to a wider audience, a way of discovering and sharing things you never knew existed, a way of forcing back the eve encroaching shadows of the real world to keep your internal flame burning just that little bit longer.
The internet burned brighter and stronger as the rush of people to it acted as fuel to the fires, and the rush of companies to it was the oxygen it needed to sustain itself, and to grow. The Napster and Kazaa era came and went as the dark lords of the world attempted to wrestle back their power from this bastard child of technology and freedom that we know as the web. People pushed each other by finding, creating and sharing things that would have people in the old world hung, drawn, and quartered but in this new space, this virtual plane of existence it didn’t not solicit the fiery condemnation of preachers and politicians alike. We laughed. We saw these examples of hate, of destruction and of evil that which ravaged the lands of the physical world, but an evil unsullied by power, money, dogma, or time. This was new evil, strong evil, and pure evil. It shaped a generation and a way of life was born. The internet was no longer an escape from life, it was a mirror of it; a dark and distorting mirror in which our reflections are not always what we wanted, hoped or indeed expected to see.
Facebook and such sites are like a swimming pool on an ocean liner, floating in the middle of the endless abyss of the internet. You get a taster of what it’s like to be in the water, but you learn nothing of its depth, breadth or more unsavory inhabitants. Whether we like it or not however, these fist-clinchingly corporately built sites are part and parcel of the modern internet.
You come before us, the anonymous masses to ask us if “anybody else get a status update from this guy on their facebook today” which you can use to impress your real life friends with just how stylish and original you are. We say that you and your attempt to bastardize the concepts of these halls will not be answered.
Anyways, no I did not get a status update from this guy on my facebook today. Good Luck.  1/26/2011 11:09:22 AM
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