My aunt is getting married this weekend and I just realized I should get her a gift ... problem is I hardly know anything about her! She doesn't have a registry. Any advice for a generic gift in the $30 or less range? Here's what I do know - she's very religious and she likes plants (but my sister is getting her a plant so I don't want to be redundant ... or would that be OK??) Thanks, TWW

3/4/2011 9:21:21 AM

A framed picture of Jesus?

3/4/2011 9:46:41 AM

wine.

3/4/2011 9:50:39 AM

I don't think there's anything wrong with money or a gift card to Bed Bath & Beyond or some other common store that does registries.

3/4/2011 9:51:26 AM

get her plant food

3/4/2011 9:54:28 AM

gift card to target/bed bath and beyond/ some gardening store for $30

3/4/2011 10:02:07 AM

Q: who the hell doesn't make a wedding registry?

A: someone who wants cash.

3/4/2011 10:06:44 AM

Q: who the hell doesn't make a wedding registry?

A: someone who isn't greedy

3/4/2011 10:15:27 AM

A gift certificate to Bed Bath and Beyond or Target

3/4/2011 10:18:18 AM

^^ registries have nothing to do with being greedy unless you're only registered at expensive stores.

Why not get her an assortment of heirloom vegetable seeds?

Or why not ask your mom or dad (whoever shes related to) what she wants

[Edited on March 4, 2011 at 10:19 AM. Reason : G]

3/4/2011 10:18:23 AM

Quote :

"Q: who the hell doesn't make a wedding registry? A: someone who isn't greedy"

I don't think so. I actually think it's pretty considerate as long as you don't put a bunch of ridiculously expensive shit on there.

Do you not buy wedding presents??

[Edited on March 4, 2011 at 10:19 AM. Reason : .]

3/4/2011 10:19:00 AM

making a wedding registry is as much for the benefit of the guests who choose to buy gifts as it is the people getting married... I have never been to a wedding where there was not some sort of registry. (and i have been in and been to a shitload of weddings.)

3/4/2011 10:34:23 AM

their face on a brandy glass, of course

3/4/2011 11:24:43 AM

Give her a copy of the Koran.

3/4/2011 12:15:09 PM

Too bad your sister got her something. If you don't know them that well, they probably don't know you that well so it would be highly unlikely that they would be sorting through their wedding gifts and think - Wait a minute, where's Nerdchick's gift!! !!

3/4/2011 12:16:48 PM

Lowes/HomeDepot/Target Gift Card.

See also...



[Edited on March 4, 2011 at 1:42 PM. Reason : l]

3/4/2011 1:39:35 PM

oh hell no, you didn't...

3/4/2011 1:40:40 PM

I mean, if you can't think of anything...just ask your sister if you can jointly give her the plant

3/4/2011 1:45:52 PM

thanks for the advice, TWW. I went ahead and got her a nicer plant to one-up my sister

3/6/2011 1:55:05 PM

Quote :

"I don't think so. I actually think it's pretty considerate as long as you don't put a bunch of ridiculously expensive shit on there. Do you not buy wedding presents??"

Sure I do. I just think if someone wants to give you a gift they should do so rather than being told what to buy. Making a list of stuff you think you need and forcing it on your guests does seem greedy: if nothing else, tacky.

[Edited on March 6, 2011 at 5:25 PM. Reason : But feel free to ignore my $0.02 about weddings: I think they're a huge waste of money anyway.]

3/6/2011 5:23:17 PM

^ Nobody is saying that what's on the registry is what you should buy and you're a horrible person if you don't buy off the registry. It's there for people who have no freaking clue what you need/want for your home and want suggestions.

Granted, there are some women out there that probably get pissy if you don't buy from the registry but they are jerks.

3/6/2011 5:41:58 PM

Quote :

"Sure I do. I just think if someone wants to give you a gift they should do so rather than being told what to buy. Making a list of stuff you think you need and forcing it on your guests does seem greedy: if nothing else, tacky."

people are going to want to buy you stuff anyway so unless you want to end up with 14 toasters a registry is the way to go. there is nothing tacky about it.

3/6/2011 6:16:47 PM

in my experience with friends getting married, they have all registered for stuff they needed (crockpot, toaster, flatware, china, etc) and then a few things they wanted. all really short registries that had everything purchased off them super fast...soooo i felt like buying off of the registry was ok

i mean if all that is left is like a dyson vacuum cleaner i can't really afford that so i will be getting you something nice and classy in my price range that you can return if you don't like it.

i feel like registries are helpful but i think people can overdo them. luckily i haven't run into that. of course i've only actually purchased presents for a few weddings. before that i would just go with my mom to pick stuff out for family members, etc...but now that my friends are getting married, i've had the chance to do a couple gifts on my own.

whenever there isn't something left on the registry in my price range, i usually go with something classic like serving items (trays, platters, bowls, big salad bowls, etc). they can return them if they don't like, but i figure that is something most people cannot have TOO much of.

typically i try to buy something off the registry and pair it with something i've personally picked out for them (if i know them well, obviously) to make my gift more personal. maybe that is dumb. i am sure it is but, oh well that is what i do.

if a friend gets married now, my price range is typically around $50 (though i love finding something at belk or bed bath and beyond that would have been $50 but that i have a coupon for...lol tacky but its not like they know), because i don't have a high paying job. if a *REALLY* close friend gets married (and i haven't really had that yet) i'd probably consider doing a little more...but i haven't had someone superduper close to me tie the knot yet!

[Edited on March 6, 2011 at 9:22 PM. Reason : ..]

3/6/2011 9:20:38 PM

when i go to a close friends wedding i give them $100, when it's someone i don't know as well or not as close to, i go for something on the registry on the order of $50 if i am not attending and $75 if i am attending the wedding

its probably tacky as hell but i dont give a shit, i do what i want

i also like to shop the registry as soon as i get a save the date (or if they dont have one up i will do it when i get the formal invitation) so i can have my pick of items in my price range. unless the wedding is out of town i will just keep the gift stashed away somewhere. if its an out of town (for me) wedding i go ahead and send the gift asap

3/6/2011 9:38:26 PM

hahaha StillFuchsia, still a self-righteous cunt who thinks she's edgy.

3/6/2011 9:52:28 PM

does she cook? drop the money on a really nice knife. like a chef knife she'll probably use every day. I love love love using really nice knives.

i also agree with kadwackle's serving platter idea. everyone needs that kind of stuff. and you can't go wrong with a gift card.

3/6/2011 10:13:52 PM

Quote :

"i feel like registries are helpful but i think people can overdo them."

I think it's just that I've just run into this a decent amount. There have definitely been weddings I was invited to where I couldn't afford anything on their registry. In that case, it's basically a big "fuck you" to your guests.

3/6/2011 10:19:22 PM

^ yea that sucks a lot. i'd be kinda irritated, as well

the ones i've gone to have all had the usual stuff and then maybe one big ticket item (ie: vacuum) which i figured like parents or grandparents or someone they were super close to in the family would buy

OR they just threw it on there just in case someone wanted to give them a big present, knowing that they would likely not get it. so i didn't feel offended

if everything was over $100, i'd be like...wtf, fuck that noise.

3/6/2011 11:31:37 PM

Cash

3/7/2011 12:37:15 AM

If I were you I would get her a premium account on TWW. That way she could discuss her religious views in the soap box and learn from others as well.

3/7/2011 12:41:48 AM

Quote :

"OR they just threw it on there just in case someone wanted to give them a big present, knowing that they would likely not get it. so i didn't feel offended "

Generally the idea of the registry is you have a variety of things at different price points. It's likely than an uncle you're close with is going to spend more money on you than a casual friend from college will. So if a registry is done well, it usually has things that are over the $100 mark, a few things that are under the $25 mark, and then a range of things between those two marks.

Now there's always the chance that if you wait too long, there's only the expensive things left on the registry. That happened to me for a wedding I went to a few years ago. It was Dyson vacuum cleaner and expensive slow cooker or packs of tupperware. I guess I could have given her $25 worth of tupperware but I figured that would have been lame as hell so I got her something off registry

3/7/2011 9:17:06 AM

ITT...people who don't understand registries.

I'll admit to being one of those people, probably up until this year.

I've always been a "I'm only going to spend $50 on this gift, I don't care who it was." Then I started dating a girl from up North where the weddings are a tad more extravagant, which trickles down to wedding gifts. Just for regular friends she usually spends $75 to $100 (and she's no baller...she's a teacher). So I've picked her brain about weddings.

After examining many registries...I've noticed that there are a decent amount of big ticket items, but they are suppose to be for family and really close friends who want to give something really nice and can afford it. That's why I try to get to the registry early so I can still get my nice, but still $50 gift.

3/7/2011 9:28:40 AM

^^ that is what happened to me because they didn't have a very big registry at all :/

like tiny tiny. like 20 or 30 things. they were all taken in like a day (besides the dyson). so i was like, well you are getting a serving platter, SORRYYYYYYY.

^ i thought that was basically what i said

close friends would get like a more expensive gift, but generally my price range is $50ish. and i realize the big ticket items are for the close people. it just sucks when the registries are tiny and all the good stuff gets gone first. or i guess in other people's cases when the stuff is all over $50 and there aren't any smaller items. i haven't run into that, thank goodness.

this is only kind of on topic, but it has a big section on weddings. i freaking love this book. luckily i grew up in a family where old fashioned southern manners were very emphasized, but everytime i have a question (or want to double check) about etiquette, i look here...my cousin got it for me for my 25th bday. now i can't call up my mom or grandmother to ask questions anymore, so this is a fab replacement...


(which, p.s. also makes a fantastic gift itself...probably not for a wedding, though lol...and sometimes it is hard to give these things without someone getting a bad message like, hey i must be really rude therefore they gave me this book. but it has come in super handy for me!)

emily post is another authority i often reference, lol.

[Edited on March 7, 2011 at 8:22 PM. Reason : .]

3/7/2011 8:17:35 PM

I suspect Nerdchick's aunt might be a bit older or it could be a second or third marriage, which would explain the lack of a registry.

My aunts at least are all 50+ and already own more stuff than they could possibly need. In a situation like that, I'd get them food or beverage. Like a month after their wedding, they'd get some tasty fruit, nuts, candy, wine, cookies, whatever...in the mail. Or you could get them like a Christmas ornament for their first holiday together as husband/wife. That wouldn't take up too much space or add clutter cause they could just tuck it away in their ornament stash.

Of course, if you actually know of one of their interests (like gardening), then you're all set.

3/9/2011 12:49:32 AM

get her some meow meow plant food /chit chat

gift card

3/9/2011 1:15:47 AM

Okay, now I'm obsessed with my gift idea in general, and I'm trying to compile a list of use-uppable things (things that get used/disappear) that I can fall back on as gift ideas. So far I've come up with: candle, olive oil/other oil, syrup, herbs/spices/salts, coffee, nuts, tea, soy sauce, hot sauce, vinegar, chocolate, jellies/jams, soaps...

Obviously, I'm talking about the "fancy" versions of all these things--a quality I would have to investigate since I don't really know what's trendy or fancy.

But keep adding to the list, y'all. And fill me in on some of the fancy makers of this stuff if you're in the know.

3/9/2011 2:02:12 AM

Quote :

"get her plant food"

3/9/2011 2:58:43 AM

Coincidentally, the gf and I got in a argument over wedding presents last night. We're going to a wedding in June up in Connecticut (where she's from) and she's going to spend $200 on the gift. She's very close to the bride's family, so I didn't argue too much. I said that although I thought $200 was high, it was okay since they were like family. But she still never spends less than $100, even for people she's barely even friends with. Then when she can't afford to go to a wedding and send a nice gift, she ends up sending a really nice gift (around $150) instead of going to the wedding. I said that's ridiculous and that the people having the wedding should rather have you there than get a gift from you. That's when the argument got heated.

She also mentioned that at most of the weddings she's been at, when you include the food (99% sit down meals) and drinks, it costs the people throwing the wedding at least $150 to feed and provide each person with drink...so that's why she feels the need to spend that much on a gift.

It was an interesting argument to get heated over...but she had some strong opinions on it. I blamed it on all the yankee weddings she's been to up north where even the poor people spend way too much money on their weddings.

3/9/2011 8:36:49 AM

^^^ Sounds like a gift basket from A Southern Season

^ Personally I think it's a nice gesture to send a gift even if you can't attend the wedding. I think that's what classic etiquette dictates as well. Personally I can't afford to spend $100-150 on wedding gifts unless it's a close friend of mine. I guess it really just depends on what you feel you can afford.

That said, just be glad this isn't Asia. I had to go to a wedding once while in Japan and the minimum expected gift from anyone attending is $300. I was shocked The idea there is all of your guests are pitching in to pay for the wedding so it doesn't put a big burden on the bride and groom starting out their lives together. Personally I kind of wish we had a cash gift system for weddings here too

[Edited on March 9, 2011 at 10:46 AM. Reason : d]

3/9/2011 10:46:35 AM

^^People up North have more money than us and historically have had more money than us so their traditions are different.

And, yeah, it's weird but a lot of people send nicer gifts when they can't attend.

^I'm trying to go more baller than Southern Season!

[Edited on March 9, 2011 at 1:29 PM. Reason : ]

3/9/2011 1:27:59 PM

^ i often send wine for wedding gifts -- it fits your consumable description and there's certainly a wide range of quality/prices you can choose from

[Edited on March 9, 2011 at 1:30 PM. Reason : ]

3/9/2011 1:30:30 PM