i always leave my jacket and bag in the car, start up my laptop, and come in the side door so it looks like i'm on my way back to my desk from a meeting

an observant boss would notice, however, the lack of a jacket at my desk on a cool day

clearly my plan is flawed

anybody else have tricks?

4/4/2011 4:33:24 PM

not that I am slacker, but others at work have this one down.

What seems to work best is to just habitually leave your laptop and/or bag at your desk on evenings when you anticipate coming in late the next day.

Then come in to work as if you just got back from the bathroom.

4/4/2011 4:40:10 PM

so do i stick some toilet paper to my shoe or dribble some water on the front of my pants or what?

4/4/2011 4:41:55 PM

i usually have a coffee mug in the car from my morning coffee

if I stroll in through the back door with a coffee mug, nobody gives me a second look. maybe i'll have a few papers in my other hand.. it appears as though I'm coming back in from an early cig break or something

4/4/2011 4:42:28 PM

have your sleeves rolled up and make the hand motion like your trying to dry them/wipe water off

and make small comments about how taco night really did a number on you

4/4/2011 4:43:13 PM

I've thought of coming in my building or office from another entrance to make it seem like I was in another part of the building doing something else. This would go so far as to park on the other side of the parking lot than where I normally do.

4/4/2011 4:43:42 PM

are these white collar office jobs or what?

4/4/2011 4:44:37 PM

1) leave light on in office
2) leave computer on and screen lit
3) leave a jacket or some form clothing
4) leave a set of spare keys (to anything) in plain sight on your desk
5) enter through a side exit
6) Profit

4/4/2011 4:45:22 PM

If I'm late, I try to bring field equipment with me out of my truck and walk straight to the back equipment room. That way it looks like I was on a job site first thing and am returning to get started on office stuff.

4/4/2011 4:45:46 PM

from dharney in the Plan B thread:

Quote :

"my coworker and i came up with a working 'plan B' for when one of us is late to work. If either of us is going to be late or absent for the day, I have an old computer i keep under my desk at work full time. The other person will receive a text 'plan B' and we are supposed to take the old computer, put it up on the desk and have it set open to make it look like we have arrived and our laptops are at our desk but we are just somewhere else in the building, so my boss won't get mad. so one day she texts me 'plan B' and i text back 'holy god ur pregnant?'"

4/4/2011 4:45:54 PM

I like to defecate in my office the night before, so that by morning, my "scent" has already saturated the entire office, leaving little doubt as to my presence somewhere in the building.

4/4/2011 4:47:08 PM

that's very Chit Chatty of you, Slave Famous

4/4/2011 4:48:01 PM

People mostly just expect that I am coming in at the correct time. Having a different time that I am due in every day helps that part. Also, I come in early randomly to confirm the suspicions that the posted schedule actually means nothing. The "unnoticed" thing is kind of impossible, working in a kitchen. If I'm not wearing my clogs, I am obviously coming to work or leaving work. And I am not taking those things home with me, they smell like feet and kitchen floor.

4/4/2011 4:49:17 PM

You should know my schtick by now

4/4/2011 4:49:35 PM

i wasn't complaining

i would subscribe to your newsletter

4/4/2011 4:56:26 PM

i unsubscribed to his newsletter when i found out he wasn't black

4/4/2011 4:58:11 PM

i unsubscribed from your newsletter when i realized you're a boring person of average intelligence

4/4/2011 4:59:55 PM

That's understandable.

Truth be told, I'm often late, but the laissez-faire leadership style here gives me little incentive to be on time.

4/4/2011 5:00:12 PM

I have also known lots of people to lie when caught in the act. They will say something like "doctor's appointment" or whatever to the boss and it usually works.

4/4/2011 5:04:14 PM

You have to keep track of your excuses, similar to when you lied to a professor about missing class. Once had a teacher call a kid out for having his 3rd grandmother die in one semester.

4/4/2011 5:06:21 PM

Thats not entirely unreasonable. Up until last year I had 2 grandmothers and 2 great grandmothers.

4/4/2011 5:08:26 PM

Quote :

"What seems to work best is to just habitually leave your laptop and/or bag at your desk on evenings when you anticipate coming in late the next day. Then come in to work as if you just got back from the bathroom. "

This. My buddies do it in studio all the time. Teacher always seems to give them the benefit of the doubt.

4/4/2011 5:09:58 PM

Reading this thread makes me happy that unless I have a meeting, there is no 'on time' in my office.

It doesn't really matter when I work, as long as I get my hours in and my work done.


Downside: If my work isn't done, I can't really up and leave

4/4/2011 6:45:53 PM

^hmmmmm

you must be an attorney.

amirite?

4/4/2011 6:48:26 PM

Use the side door, that way Lumbergh can't see you.

4/4/2011 6:50:48 PM

he may spend a lot of time in court, but only because he's black

4/4/2011 6:52:25 PM

Quote :

"an observant boss would notice, however, the lack of a jacket at my desk on a cool day"

spare jacket at desk?

Quote :

"1) leave light on in office"

programmable light switch for $22:
http://www.amazon.com/Woods-59028-Programmable-Switch-Almond/dp/B002LGAAQK
this solves the problem of someone getting there super late/early and noticing it on

4/4/2011 6:53:01 PM

i can't imagine my boss every saying anything if i came in late, well at least if we don't have a meeting or conference call. i mean, i would probably give him a heads up email if it was going to be hours, but thats it.

where are you all working where you have someone paying attention to this?

4/4/2011 6:53:36 PM

i'm usually the highest ranking person in our office...

i'm the guy who dictates the clock... .


w00t..

4/4/2011 6:55:47 PM

[Edited on April 4, 2011 at 6:56 PM. Reason : 200 much]

4/4/2011 6:56:07 PM

I have done all of these at some point or another, haha.

4/4/2011 6:56:22 PM

You look everyone in the eye as you walk in, and if anyone says anything, you ask them about the last time they messed something up.

4/4/2011 6:57:31 PM

Quote :

"Reading this thread makes me happy that unless I have a meeting, there is no 'on time' in my office. It doesn't really matter when I work, as long as I get my hours in and my work done. Downside: If my work isn't done, I can't really up and leave"

Same for me.

4/4/2011 6:59:12 PM

for a second I thought that sumfoo1 was claiming to be the guy that dictates the cock

4/4/2011 6:59:19 PM

Quote :

"^hmmmmm you must be an attorney. amirite?"

Systems Engineer.

4/4/2011 6:59:38 PM

buncha lazy shits. why dont you just fucking go to work on time?

4/4/2011 7:02:31 PM

i just walk in like i own the place and no one says anything. that's if i walk in

4/4/2011 7:10:55 PM

^^ because it might not actually matter?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Management_by_objectives

vs

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Management_by_observation

[Edited on April 4, 2011 at 7:31 PM. Reason : ]

4/4/2011 7:30:20 PM

i blame security... when i can if not they really don't care

4/4/2011 7:31:11 PM

bosses always notice.

it's whether it's worth the confrontation.

4/4/2011 7:33:16 PM

i'm late to work all the time, but they don't care because i work harder more effectively than everyone else, and i come in almost everytime i'm called

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

4/4/2011 7:36:02 PM

Quote :

"bosses always notice"

wrong

4/4/2011 8:49:42 PM

walk in, get to work, not give a shit, put in your time.

4/4/2011 8:50:22 PM

Walk in front door. walk in other door. walk into my office.

Profit.

(I'm never really late)

4/4/2011 8:51:51 PM

thanks guys

i have 4 direct reports and i'm a clock watching asshole boss

this thread has been very informative

4/4/2011 9:45:43 PM

I, too, have no 'start time'. Came in at 9:45 today left a 5:29. A more typical day is 9-6:30 . If you need an excuse blame traffic, post office visit before work, dog got out as you were leaving, had to drop friend at airport, had an issue with x, y, or z at 6 am and took you a while to fix. It is very easy to talk your way out of that shit. If you do your work, no boss is gonna bitch about 20-30 mins here and there.

4/4/2011 9:58:16 PM

Wait until you get the boss that likes to call right when it's time to go home. Half the time it's just to check in, the other half of the time it's to ask you to do something that will make you have to put in additional hours to take care of RIGHT THEN... and to top it off they had been sitting on the task all day. You could have been done long ago if they just told you when they knew about it 8 hours ago.

Oh, and they don't call to check in all the time, but they will absolutely make sure to do it on Fridays. I'd say they single out people that they think might be slacking, but that's just their style.

(sneak out of work unnoticed)

[Edited on April 4, 2011 at 10:27 PM. Reason : =]

4/4/2011 10:18:58 PM

Quote :

"buncha lazy shits. why dont you just fucking go to work on time? "

yeah! take pride in your work. be thankful to have a job in this shit economy.

4/4/2011 10:51:21 PM

4/4/2011 10:54:30 PM

the economy is fine

i have more money than i ever have before

4/4/2011 10:54:38 PM