been out for a few days. i've gone pretty long in the past. i wonder how long my improvisational skills could last me.

5/10/2011 1:05:52 PM

Quote :

"BONER JAMZ 04"

5/10/2011 1:11:51 PM

0 days

5/10/2011 1:17:59 PM

till the cotton towels stopped flushing

[Edited on May 10, 2011 at 1:18 PM. Reason : .]

5/10/2011 1:18:12 PM

Till I ran out of hand soap...

5/10/2011 1:22:42 PM

0 days

5/10/2011 1:28:03 PM

Don't think I've ever gone without tp

5/10/2011 1:34:13 PM

ive run out, but roommates had some rolls ftw.

5/10/2011 1:37:35 PM

seriously. splurge and spend the $4 and WIPE YOUR ASS

5/10/2011 1:40:31 PM

I've gone three weeks without a flushable toilet. Spring of '07, Walnut Creek apartments, or whatever they were called, the ones near Food Lion on Lake Damn Road. Anyway I take a mega dump, per usual, and clog the toilet beyond plungable repair. Call the maittenance guys, they're busy, so I kind of forget about it for a little while.

Now,I used to drink a lot of pop, so I have a bunch of those empty fridge packs of coke and mountain dew laying around. When my next dump begins to marinate, I realize I'm not going to be able to wait for the maintenance guys to show up. So I take this shitty wicker chair I have and cut out most of the seat, put an empty fridge pack below it standing upright, then sit on the chair, aim my asshole, and release the hounds.

Beyond the satisfying PLOP of your normal dump, it was pretty much the same thing. I wiped with TP and stuffed it down on top of the poo, then put the whole box outside on the porch. After 3 or 4 of these, the smell started to permeate, so I took the fecal boxes out to the dumpster.

This went on for a few weeks until the maintenance people were finally able to get around to fixing my john. By that point, what with the month old clog and rotting paper on top of it, it was a warzone, and required a back pump and three men to fully fix it. Eventually, everything was back to normal.

5/10/2011 1:46:40 PM

you people

5/10/2011 1:51:16 PM

0

5/10/2011 1:55:59 PM

nasty shit-covered motherfuckers up in here

5/10/2011 3:24:32 PM

Lefty to the pooper.
Righty for the shaker.

5/10/2011 3:38:38 PM

Quote :

"Now,I used to drink a lot of pop, so I have a bunch of those empty fridge packs of coke and mountain dew laying around. When my next dump begins to marinate, I realize I'm not going to be able to wait for the maintenance guys to show up. So I take this shitty wicker chair I have and cut out most of the seat, put an empty fridge pack below it standing upright, then sit on the chair, aim my asshole, and release the hounds."

Jesus, I'm fucking crying, that was so funny.

5/10/2011 3:39:55 PM

0 days, but for chicks that should be impossible but for dudes tp is not really needed, but if you dont have it you prolly got a nasty ass unless you have a bidet

5/10/2011 4:08:58 PM

Quote :

"By that point, what with the month old clog and rotting paper on top of it, it was a warzone, and required a back pump and three men to fully fix it. Eventually, everything was back to normal."

i bet those guys had some stories to tell. and some nightmares.

5/10/2011 4:19:57 PM

Whenever the piss got near the rim, I would scoop it out with a ladle and dump it down the shower drain.

5/10/2011 4:21:58 PM

Quote :

"Now,I used to drink a lot of pop, so I have a bunch of those empty fridge packs of coke and mountain dew laying around. When my next dump begins to marinate, I realize I'm not going to be able to wait for the maintenance guys to show up. So I take this shitty wicker chair I have and cut out most of the seat, put an empty fridge pack below it standing upright, then sit on the chair, aim my asshole, and release the hounds."

Jesus, I'm fucking crying, that was so funny.

+1

5/10/2011 4:25:13 PM

another day, another deposit in the bank

5/11/2011 10:13:10 AM

About 2 weeks.

5/11/2011 10:18:01 AM

25 years and counting.

Quote :

"AIM MY ASSHOLE"

what is your asshole's screenname? i haven't been on AIM in awhile but i'll holla at it.

5/11/2011 10:28:49 AM

finally got some tp

5/23/2011 9:14:20 PM

Quote :

"LAKE DAMN ROAD"

5/23/2011 10:22:34 PM

I had to use coffee filters one time... that sucked

5/23/2011 10:29:11 PM

^^^^ Jambalayabigstreaks1985

5/23/2011 10:35:03 PM

someone stold my coffee filters

5/23/2011 10:36:31 PM

Twice (including once this past weekend) I've had to hop in the shower after realizing there was no toilet paper left. Luckily on the most recent occasion, there was a napkin at the sink that I used to do a preliminary whip down before showering for a full clean.

I like toilet paper and it is my preferred ass whipping method...so I try to keep it stocked.

[Edited on May 23, 2011 at 10:37 PM. Reason : ]

5/23/2011 10:36:46 PM

sometimes its so bad you just have to shower to get it all

5/23/2011 10:37:34 PM

how fucking poor / unprepared are you fuckers? EW.

5/23/2011 10:49:01 PM

XSMP ITT

5/23/2011 10:54:32 PM

go against the grain once or twice on a whim when you think you're just chilling with a clean asshole

see what comes up

if the answer is something then you're a nasty fucker and need to clean your ass better

and buy toilet paper

5/23/2011 11:01:44 PM

front to back, ladies and gentlemen, front to back.

5/23/2011 11:04:31 PM

a rotational motion minimizes spreading

5/23/2011 11:06:58 PM

^that's too close to sit n spin

5/23/2011 11:09:45 PM

Does newspaper count? Because if it doesn't: 22 months.

5/24/2011 7:57:43 AM