From WRAL:

Quote :

"Cary Man Charged With Indecent Exposure Cary, N.C. — A Cary man faces charges that he masturbated his home in front of neighbors Friday, according to an arrest warrant. Kenneth Gordon Woodcock, 46, of 221 Gray St., was charged with indecent exposure. The warrant states that Woodcock twice masturbated between the front door and carport of his home in front a female neighbor. He was placed in the Wake County jail under a $5,000 secured bond. His first court appearance was set for July 21. "

That's amazing... he masturbated his house. But, its not gay if its your house I guess.

And, his last name is Woodcock. You can't make up stories better than this.

5/15/2011 7:48:40 PM

How does one masturbate ones home?


Did he accidentally his home?

5/15/2011 7:49:58 PM

You like it when I rub your gutter like that?

5/15/2011 7:51:13 PM

narced on for beating it in his own home. nothing is sacred anymore.

5/15/2011 7:52:01 PM

http://maps.google.com/maps?q=221+Gray+St,+cary,+nc&layer=c&sll=35.792618,-78.785134&cbp=13,191.65,,0,5.22&cbll=35.792849,-78.785064&hl=en&sspn=0.006295,0.006295&ie=UTF8&hq=&hnear=221+Gray+St,+Cary,+North+Carolina+27513&ll=35.791518,-78.783785&spn=0.007284,0.013937&t=h&z=17&panoid=2HQ8zGZCtClgDIH-q877DA

5/15/2011 7:53:19 PM

Perhaps the laughter of the editorial staff in writing this article caused them to omit what one would assume should have been, "..maturbated at his home.."
Can you imagine being the reporter asking for amplifying information?


Oh and excerpt ftw and lolz

Quote :

"Woodcock twice masturbated between the front door and carport "

5/15/2011 7:54:17 PM

Ah. This guys house is 1.8 miles from my house

5/15/2011 7:55:54 PM

article makes it sound like he was outside

5/15/2011 8:06:24 PM

christ

and people say durham is ghetto

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

5/15/2011 8:08:07 PM

domisexual?

5/15/2011 8:16:40 PM

if he were a villain in Batman, we'd call him Majordomo

5/15/2011 8:46:05 PM

Would things be different if this was a woman instead?

5/15/2011 11:37:30 PM

Yes, she would masturbate in an entirely different fashion.




I have a theory that women aren't necessary perpetrators of indecent exposure when sexually aroused because of the readily available supply of dudes to sate their deviant cravings at any given moment. It's about as common as stacks of dollar bills blowing through the streets.

5/16/2011 12:42:05 AM

Quote :

"MASTURBATED HIS HOME"

5/16/2011 12:44:22 AM

Ladies and gents, it's really quite simple...no grammar mistake here:




or

5/16/2011 9:20:42 AM

two broken arms, a broken leg, broken ribs, assorted lacerations and bruises he obtained when he fell

5/16/2011 10:52:11 AM