I have figured out in third grade what it took Stephen Hawking a lifetime to surmise.

Quote :

"Renowned physicist Stephen Hawking recently explained his belief that there is no God and that humans should therefore seek to live the most valuable lives they can while on Earth. Guardian writer Ian Sample asked Hawking if he feared death in a story published yesterday. This was his response: I have lived with the prospect of an early death for the last 49 years. I'm not afraid of death, but I'm in no hurry to die. I have so much I want to do first. I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail. There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark. Hawking's 1988 book "A Brief History of Time" sold 9 million copies, and in it Hawking referenced God metaphorically as the force that could fully explain the creation of the universe. But in 2010, Hawking told Diane Sawyer that "science will win" in a battle with religion "because it works." "

http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/20110516/us_yblog_thelookout/stephen-hawking-says-afterlife-is-a-fairy-story

5/16/2011 2:56:55 PM

I too figured this out before Stephen Hawking

5/16/2011 2:59:27 PM

this thread is prejudiced against people in wheelchairs

5/16/2011 3:00:23 PM

Quote :

"But in 2010, Hawking told Diane Sawyer that "science will win" in a battle with religion "because it works.""

Sounds like nerd logic to me.

He might want to read up on his Ancient Chinese History.

5/16/2011 3:20:26 PM

Evil will always triumph because good is dumb.

5/16/2011 3:30:45 PM

where be my dancing dinosaur?

5/16/2011 3:31:14 PM

I too figured this out before Stephen Hawking

5/16/2011 3:32:43 PM

it's not that it took him this long to decide on it, it's that he is just now making an unequivocal public statement about it

5/16/2011 3:33:00 PM

Quote :

"BROKEN DOWN COMPUTERS"

Cyborgs ITT.

5/16/2011 3:34:52 PM

I feel like I am up and running along the same lines as an old PDA sometimes

5/16/2011 3:41:04 PM

Okay I lied!


I believe there isn't a "god", but I do believe this universe was programmed and is still manipulated by its programmer and/or programmers and likes to fuck with us.


There are events that are just to improbable that can't be explained without a programmer and manipulators behind the scenes.


The "manipulator" can be seen in stories like this:

Quote :

""Teenager dies in car crash on highway named after his soldier father who was killed in Afghanistan Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1374979/Teenager-dies-car-crash-highway-named-soldier-father-killed-Afghanistan.html#ixzz1MXlXLS2P"

Manipulators are the reason why we believe in karma and bad luck.

For instance, I could stand behind the counter for an hour without a customer, and so I get something to eat. The SECOND the food is finished and I'm about to take a bite, a customer walks in or a phone rings out of NOWHERE! I could expect this to happen mayyybe once or twice... BUT EVERY TIME?! come the fuck on.

Things usually go my way when I'm confident. Things never go my way when I'm in doubt. If I try to be confident, but in my head there is doubt, then whoever is behind the scenes knows this and shit goes wrong.

This goes beyond the laws of probability.

When you're having a bad day... everything goes wrong!
When you're having a good day... everything goes good!
When you're having a normal day... everything goes neither good nor bad!

There's only been a handful of days I can remember when it starts off good day and ends bad and vice versa. It's all or nothing.

Bad and good days are always separated by a convenient event called going to sleep and waking up the next day.



----------------------------------------------------

The "programmer" can be seen in each and every animal's flaws and strengths. For instance, a zebra has stripes. Why does the zebra have stripes? The zebra has stripes to throw off predators.

But how the hell could a zebra possibly know how the world looks through a lion/tiger eyes? It can't.
If it could, it would build teeth-proof skin like a turtle or dinosaur. How do I know it's possible they can do that? Because turtles and dinosaurs both exist. If they exist, then "evolution" is smart enough to build it. If evolution has a brain to build defenses, then voila! zebras can build shells. But they don't. They have shitty stripes to make it harder, but not impossible for lions and predators to kill. If I were a programmer and had to program a balance so that lions can't kill all zebras an zebras can't fool all lions all the time, I would program crappy stripes on their fucking helpless little bodies.


I saw on the discovery channel that the span between lions' fangs were equidistant to the spacing between vertebrae on all large animal's necks. I found that hard to believe, but if it's true, then how the hell does a lion's DNA acquire such knowledge? It's gotta be programmed. (research still in progress)

Humans getting sick. How the hell do we get soar throats? Why does the infection only affect the throat region if that shit weren't programmed? A human is a human and throat cells are close enough to other cells that infections "smart enough to travel, evolve, and infect throat cells of every different human" can't infect other cells of a body.
How does athlete's foot or psoriasis stay on the feet?
How does genital warts stay in the genital section and mouth, lips, palate, and throat but not arms and legs? If evolution were so smart, our bodies have the knowledge to defeat genital warts in our own arms and legs, wouldn't our body do something about it? Hell, why wait for my body to do it when I AM ME and I can visually see that something is attacking me, why don't I have the power over my own body to fix it?!


Stephen says we are computers. By default computers are programmed. Our DNA is programmed. Therefore, there must exist a programmer and manipulator.

I believe we are an extension of the universe's programmer and manipulator and if we keep inventing and discovering more ways to manipulate the universe till the infinite degree, then one or more of us humans will be god of the universe at the end of time. Game over.

[Edited on May 16, 2011 at 3:48 PM. Reason : .]

5/16/2011 3:46:56 PM

5/16/2011 3:55:52 PM

I was playing pool and I'm like an expert at pool. It's just a game right?

Well I lost like 12 times in a row to new players and I was missing easy shots that I KNEW FOR A FACT lined up correctly because....well I've made those shots hundreds and thousands of times before. I fucking flipped and told whoever was fucking with me to leave me alone... then all of a sudden I started winning again making impossible shots?! Unreal.

Before I went to bed, I challenged whoever was fucking with me and told them I wasn't going to give up no matter what the fuck they threw at me.

The next day, my water heater broke, grandma broke the handle to the sink by over tightening it, my prep-table started leaking water on the inside, and a leg from my sturdiest stainless steel table broke from the force of my 98 lb employee cutting a pizza on it.
Before this, I haven't had to make a repair in 3 months and yet all of that happened just 24 hours after I challenged the "programmer"/"manipulator" I felt was fucking with me.


I said "okay fine. you win" in my head and haven't had anything bad happen since.

Who knows?


Just putting it out there.

[Edited on May 16, 2011 at 4:12 PM. Reason : .]

5/16/2011 4:10:58 PM

Quote :

"When you're having a bad day... everything goes wrong! When you're having a good day... everything goes good! When you're having a normal day... everything goes neither good nor bad!"

when you're feeling bad... you focus on everything that goes wrong!
when you're feeling good... you focus on everything that goes right!
when you're just normal... everything just happens

5/16/2011 4:21:41 PM

Don't be naive like you've never had a bad day before.

5/16/2011 4:25:45 PM

Full blown retardation itt.

5/16/2011 4:29:08 PM

idk, I've had shitty days but I don't dwell on it -- at the moment I can't really think back and say "oh, the gods really fucked me over that day"

I got a speeding ticket, my bike got a flat -- they just happened though, I fixed the problems and moved on

[Edited on May 16, 2011 at 4:45 PM. Reason : spelling]

5/16/2011 4:45:10 PM

I accept responsibility for the claimed retardation.

For it is the universe's fault for not following its own rules.

I am here and say things that the universe has taught me.

All my thoughts are malleable and are set up to change as fast as the universe itself changes and as new information is presented.

My life changes overnight and its pathways are independent of the universes laws and theories.

What I know to be true today, can easily be false tomorrow. If something false was true today, does it make it true or false in the days in the past?.

Everything is true and false.

Trues and falses can change everyday and you'd never be able to prove it because the math will always be true to the universe at each present instance of time.



[Edited on May 16, 2011 at 4:50 PM. Reason : .]

5/16/2011 4:48:27 PM

Quote :

"But how the hell could a zebra possibly know how the world looks through a lion/tiger eyes? It can't. If it could, it would build teeth-proof skin like a turtle or dinosaur. How do I know it's possible they can do that? Because turtles and dinosaurs both exist. If they exist, then "evolution" is smart enough to build it. If evolution has a brain to build defenses, then voila! zebras can build shells. But they don't. They have shitty stripes to make it harder, but not impossible for lions and predators to kill. If I were a programmer and had to program a balance so that lions can't kill all zebras an zebras can't fool all lions all the time, I would program crappy stripes on their fucking helpless little bodies."

Holy shit.

5/16/2011 4:50:40 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zn7-fVtT16k

Embed?

5/16/2011 4:52:25 PM

acid is a hell of a drug

5/16/2011 4:55:27 PM

Quote :

"soar throats"

5/16/2011 4:55:30 PM

lol at the zebra thing

5/16/2011 4:57:12 PM

why don't zebras get AIDS?

5/16/2011 4:59:47 PM

Cuz things are not always simply black and white.

5/16/2011 5:02:01 PM

Why can't AIDS devolve to infect zebras if they were smart enough to infect human blood?


What if one day you woke up and read in the paper about AIDS infecting zebras? How would you handle that life altering information?

5/16/2011 5:04:08 PM

did anybody else read the hawking quote in his robot voice?

5/16/2011 5:05:42 PM

magnets? how the fuck do they work

5/16/2011 5:08:12 PM

Quote :

"I have figured out in third grade what it took Stephen Hawking a lifetime to surmise."

this is the equivalent of Ellen coming out on TV...he just did it when he wouldn't get too much flack for it.

5/16/2011 5:10:10 PM

I'm going to be laughing when Earth really does find aliens as smart or smarter than us in the Universe.


life'll be like star trek/ star craft. There will finally be peace on Earth, but only because there won't be peace in the Universe.

5/16/2011 5:13:40 PM

anybody else notice the serious personality disorders that geniusxboy has revealed in this thread?

5/16/2011 5:13:44 PM

Quote :

"Evil will always triumph because good is dumb."

Spaceballs? Darth Helmet?

5/16/2011 5:14:54 PM

^

5/16/2011 5:15:10 PM

5/16/2011 5:15:25 PM

Good morning sleepyhead

5/16/2011 5:20:28 PM

Can we merge this with the juggalo thread?

5/16/2011 5:21:32 PM

No, that thread was supposed to be merged with the AIDS thread.

5/16/2011 5:22:56 PM

GeniuSxBoY here's one for you, this just happened to me...

Often I reach in my sock drawer and pull out every kind of sock I have before I find two matching ones. But is this evil spirits fucking with me? I think it's just probability

5/16/2011 5:25:48 PM

If you have n types of socks, you have to take out at most n+1 socks before getting a matching pair (unless the tricksy hand of the manipulator is at work).

5/16/2011 5:28:14 PM

Quote :

" Often I reach in my sock drawer and pull out every kind of sock I have before I find two matching ones. But is this evil spirits fucking with me? I think it's just probability"

I've found that things that provoke emotion and stir response out of you, whether it's being frustrated or simply to annoy you are subject to the manipulator.

Ever wonder why kids with mental illnesses scream bad words like "FUCK YOU" and "ASSHOLE" instead of randomly screaming "UNICORN" or "WAFFLES" it's because fuck you and asshole cause an emotion response. It's entertaining to the manipulator.

If you stop showing emotion, the behavior will likely change or stop altogether. My best advice to combat the manipulator is to show no emotion and he'll get bored of you.

That said,

I have never in my life had a sock problem. EVER. So in this case, I feel, whether jokingly or not, you brought it up and it does have some sort of affect on your daily life that the manipulator can get away with fucking with you and nobody will believe you. He just laughs at your frustration.

5/16/2011 6:35:31 PM

Stephen Hawking getting attention everytime he farts out something concerning the great unknown.

Stephen Hawking the fame whore ITT.


God is real.

5/16/2011 6:44:33 PM

5/16/2011 6:54:03 PM

SCIENCE DAMN YOU

5/16/2011 7:03:18 PM

Quote :

"I too figured this out before Stephen Hawking"

lol no you didn't

5/16/2011 7:27:29 PM

geniusboy has done smoked himself retarded.

5/16/2011 8:50:49 PM