So my neighbor is a heinous bitch who tries to pick a fight about anything, she is always staring out the window when my roommates and i or our guests are outside, shes terrified of our 5 lb dogs...shes just one of those nosy neighbors that no one likes....well shes pissed me off tonight. Any ideas on how to LEGALLY annoy her...pranks, subtle little things, etc to annoy her?

6/1/2011 6:58:20 PM

Sit on your deck and stare at her to see who breaks eye contact first.

6/1/2011 6:59:48 PM

gang bang

6/1/2011 7:00:03 PM

Don't be immature, beat her by being the bigger man, and not giving her anything to bitch about. If that doesn't work after a week, poop in a brown bag and set it on fire on her doorstep.

6/1/2011 7:00:12 PM

burn her house down

6/1/2011 7:03:56 PM

its a townhouse...that would not be very beneficial to me

6/1/2011 7:04:43 PM

no intentional annoyance of your neighbor is legal.

that being said, PM me and I can give you some ideas

6/1/2011 7:06:11 PM

pull the disconnect on her heat pump outside.

6/1/2011 7:07:09 PM

loud music,
broom handle tapping on the wall whenever you hear her,
Put a sign in your yard "No neighbors allowed"

6/1/2011 7:08:53 PM

In all honesty, I would just say to her next time she tries to start some shit.... "MIND YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS, CUNT"

6/1/2011 7:09:22 PM

call her out on thewolfweb

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

6/1/2011 7:10:14 PM

1. shit in a paper bag
2. place bag of shit on her doorstep
3. light bag of shit on fire
4. ring her doorbell
5. ............
6. profit

6/1/2011 7:10:46 PM

Anonymously report drugs in her house and throw a bag of weed in her backyard.

6/1/2011 7:13:25 PM

it has to be subtle....I don't want her to know it was us

6/1/2011 7:13:25 PM

so what has she actually done other than stay inside her house? seems like you are the bitch here

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

6/1/2011 7:14:52 PM

My shit in a bag gag can be very subtle if done at 1AM

and get someone that doesn't live there to do it

6/1/2011 7:14:52 PM

She leaves notes on our car, gets mad if our car is even close to the line next to her parking spot, stares out the window creepily, yells at us for having dogs (Even tho they have never pooped or peed in her yard), shes just one of those bitchy older ladies who wants to start drama..and im sick of her

6/1/2011 7:17:39 PM

Not being a dick here, but

Quote :

"I don't want her to know it was us"

that's your problem. you have to make her fear you, so she'll leave you alone. this works well with animals and elderly people.

plus, how is some seemingly random inconvenience going to make her stop bothering you? for all she knows, some random person rubbed dog shit on her door handle.

6/1/2011 7:18:42 PM

I'll do the bag of shit thing for $10. For $15, I'll put a landmine under the shit so that she blows her legs off. For $20, I'll give her the dicking she clearly needs in order to calm down.

6/1/2011 7:19:33 PM

^^ shes the type of person that will call the cops

6/1/2011 7:20:41 PM

I'm sorry, but your only option is to roll her up in a carpet and throw her off a bridge. tehehehehehe

6/1/2011 7:21:14 PM

I'm telling you, the stare down will work. Especially if you're sitting in a chair slowly and creepily drinking a beer. If she calls the cops there's jack they will do. Keep a book out there with you and be reading it as the cops pull up. Call her crazy and they'll most likely agree with you.

6/1/2011 7:22:14 PM

For $35 I will orchestrate an elaborate conspiracy involving the highest levels of America's military-industrial complex that ultimately points to her being responsible for 9/11, at which point Seal Team 6 will come shoot her in the face.

6/1/2011 7:24:28 PM

I think you should PM GrumpyGOP, he has EXTREMELY reasonable rates

6/1/2011 7:25:40 PM

1. get her to call the cops multiple times for basically nothing
2. convince them she is old and crazy
3. tell them to ignore her calls
4. have loud outdoor rock concert drug sex party

6/1/2011 7:26:02 PM

Quote :

"She leaves notes on our car"

leave notes on her car

Quote :

"gets mad if our car is even close to the line next to her parking spot"

park really close to her driver side door

Quote :

"stares out the window creepily"

stare back

Quote :

"yells at us for having dogs (Even tho they have never pooped or peed in her yard)"

have your dogs poop and pee in her yard and stare her down while they do it,

6/1/2011 7:26:26 PM

I thought you were supposed to learn all of this sophomore year when you live at usuites/village/etc

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

6/1/2011 7:29:01 PM

6/1/2011 7:30:11 PM

lol

6/1/2011 7:32:06 PM

unless you don't plan to live there a long time, the easiest thing to do is just ignore them. This coming from someone who also has an equally annoying, bitchy neighbor. (luckily all my other neighbors are great).

6/1/2011 7:33:49 PM

Leave notes on her doorstep that say things like, "If it wasn't for you, he'd still be alive." Then when she starts weeping, come out of your house, laugh at her, and beat her to death with a tire iron.

6/1/2011 7:34:39 PM

^ I know that shouldn't have made me laugh but it did

6/1/2011 7:41:33 PM

Buy/rent a house if you don't like your neighbors.

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

6/1/2011 7:42:46 PM

I OWN this house...she rents

6/1/2011 7:44:26 PM

if she's leaving notes on cars, i would use that as an opportunity to be a huge asshole. i had a similar experience once, where a woman told me not to park outside her driveway because she didn't have enough room to back out (there was plenty of room). every time i did she would leave a note, so i would respond at the bottom, "Learn to drive" or something equally snarky. eventually she stopped.

6/1/2011 7:44:32 PM

then SELL it or BUY hers and crank up the rent

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

6/1/2011 7:45:29 PM

I have a place for rent, my neighbors do not mind dogs, matter of fact they have a pit.

6/1/2011 7:45:35 PM

1) Obtain her phone number (or address) and make postings for cheap TVs, iPods, etc. on craigslist using said phone number (or address)

2) ...

3) She will probably be even more of a cunt than before

6/1/2011 7:53:22 PM

the most reasonable thing to do would be to call the owner. you can look it up with wake county property tax records online in a few minutes.

6/1/2011 7:54:48 PM

So essentially her leaving notes on your car and bitching has you bitching? I can't decide who's a bigger whiner here.

6/1/2011 8:08:45 PM

Do you have her number? Place an add on craig's list for a nice tv for cheap or advertise she is having a yard sale and they should just stop by between certain hours that she will be home.

6/1/2011 8:10:17 PM

Quote :

"^ I know that shouldn't have made me laugh but it did "

6/1/2011 8:12:37 PM

In all seriousness, sounds here like the thing to do is just not give a fuck. When she does this shit laugh right in her face. Crumple up her car notes and throw them in her yard. When she stares creepily, make sexually suggestive gestures (or stare right back like some people have said). It will get her blood boiling and she won't be able to do a goddamn thing about it.

6/1/2011 8:32:03 PM

buy a sheet and a couple poles and just put a physical barrier between your property when you want to hang out outside. then she can stare at a sheet and you will never need to know that she is there.

just forget the notes or anything else that happens when you arent around.

6/1/2011 8:37:12 PM

you should leave her notes with completely random musings

Quote :

"The 2010 US Census had a 74% overall response rate, but the rates were highest in the Midwestern region. I wonder why that is?"

etc.

6/1/2011 8:38:58 PM

^ i like this

6/1/2011 8:43:11 PM

^^ hahaha awesome idea.

6/1/2011 9:03:18 PM

I actually had several subwoofer speakers I strategically placed around areas adjacent to my neighbor when I lived in my last place.

I would have a bass test song cued up on the iPod and when shit got real she'd get a 5 second blast here and there.

Not exactly the most mature option but incredibly gratifying. Don't recommend entire songs - just short disruptive bursts or make your own mp3 of short disruptive bursts spaced out at random intervals and play. Also remember, "I didn't hear anything, sorry, if I hear anything I'll let you know. I hate the cars that drive by with the radios all the way up."

Disclaimer: Requires several subwoofers on the same input and a lot of time in your life, both of which I had and currently have.

6/1/2011 9:59:07 PM

speakers could play a loop of loud annoying dogs barking while you're out - "what? i don't have any pets"

6/1/2011 10:05:20 PM

if she's a bitchy old woman who wants to start drama, then it sounds like you're playing right into her hand

ignore that cunt

6/1/2011 10:16:54 PM