At what point is it acceptable to walk over to the table across from you, grab an adolescent child by the throat and say "CHEW WITH YOU GODDAMN MOUTH SHUT OR I WILL FUCKING END YOU"?

Should the parents be consulted first? Also regarding the parents, is it acceptable to threaten raping the child's mother and killing Santa Claus when a second warning is warranted?

Thanks guys.

8/8/2011 11:45:52 AM

Yes, yes, and yes

8/8/2011 11:48:02 AM

What's worse is when it's an adult chewing like a cow

8/8/2011 11:54:44 AM

there is a related thread in The Lounge that I think you would enjoy reading through

8/8/2011 12:06:40 PM

I don't mind kids in restaurants, I just wish that parents would do some of that thing...damn, what do they call it....hmmmm....oh yeah, parenting.

8/8/2011 12:09:43 PM

8/8/2011 12:19:13 PM

Words are for pussies. Drop kick them out of their chair WWF style.

8/8/2011 12:26:39 PM

I think you meant to post this in the First World Problems thread.

8/8/2011 12:29:05 PM

If I were with friends I would have them restrain the child and tilt his chair back while I grabbed a water pitcher and a napkin and waterboarded the shit out him.

8/8/2011 12:29:10 PM

Mr. Joshua would you go out with me?

8/8/2011 12:34:58 PM

8/8/2011 12:35:35 PM

I hate people that smack when they eat.

8/8/2011 12:36:11 PM

Sounds like what I did a couple years ago in Red Robin when a toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming.

Let me see if I can find the chat I had w/ grimx about it

Quote :

"me: but we are eating dinner and there is a baby screaming its head off grimx: "when you gonna have my grandbabies?" 10:01 AM me: and I'm pissed off at this point because the parents aren't doing anything I understand its red robin and its a "kid" restaurant but shut your baby up grimx: haha you're not gonna be a mommy for awhile 10:02 AM me: so David turns around and very nicely asks if they can take their baby outside or at least try something to make it stop its ear piercingly loud they are like "oh sorry, we didn't notice" and then THEY DON'T DO SHIT grimx: lol me: and i notice that they have two kids...both asian but they are white people 10:03 AM grimx: haha asian milkman me: so after about 5 more minutes of htem not doing shit, I turn around and say "yo Angelina Jolie, please take your baby outside" 10:04 AM grimx: AHAHAHAHAHA me: then all of a sudden, they rub the kid's nose (like you would a puppy or a cat) and the kids instantly stops I just rolled my eyes and turned around. grimx: lol 10:05 AM they flipped the mute switch awesome"

[Edited on August 8, 2011 at 12:40 PM. Reason : g]

8/8/2011 12:38:09 PM

very nice, fuckwads!

o/

8/8/2011 12:46:31 PM

Lol @ "Asian milkman"

8/8/2011 2:24:26 PM

Death threats to Santa Claus is sure to reach today's adolescent.

8/8/2011 2:34:14 PM

Quote :

"hen all of a sudden, they rub the kid's nose (like you would a puppy or a cat) and the kids instantly stops"

If only that worked on all children

8/8/2011 3:02:13 PM

Quote :

""CHEW WITH YOU"

8/8/2011 4:17:16 PM

still goddamn relevant

5/9/2012 4:14:25 PM

The worst thing that ever happened to me in a restaurant was having to sit across from a guy who was WEARING A BASEBALL CAP. He wore it for the entire meal. I kept signalling to him that he forgot to take it off when he sat down but he just didn't get it.

5/9/2012 4:28:55 PM

5/9/2012 4:32:44 PM

^^ probably because, unless you are at a restaurant where most people are dressed up for the occasion, no one under 60 really cares if someone is wearing a baseball cap.

Unruly kids in restaurants do annoy me though.

[Edited on May 9, 2012 at 4:34 PM. Reason : ]

5/9/2012 4:34:28 PM

don't eat at places where this is even a possibility

5/9/2012 4:35:49 PM

I saw a guy at Skillets in South Charlotte the other day wearing flip flops. Besides belly buttons and testicles, toes are the most offensive part of the male anatomy, and should be covered at all times unless you're at the beach.

5/9/2012 4:35:58 PM

Awhile back I went to The Pig in Chapel Hill to try out their BBQ. While there there was a table of a couple families together with obnoxious fucking kids. They were letting their kids run all over the restaurant, smearing their gross hands all over every surface while screaming at the top of their lungs. One kid was "finger painting" with the grease on her hands on the windows. Everyone else in the restaurant had moved to the far side of the dining area to try to get away from the little assholes to no avail. If I was the owner I would have told them to get out and not to come back until they learned what manners are.

5/9/2012 4:38:36 PM

Saw a kid once at this cheap steak place, forget the name but it was a shithole. Longhorn, Texas Roadhouse, you know the type. Nice enough to have a lobster tank, but otherwise deplorable . Anyway, the kid, probably 5-6, sees the lobster tank and starts tapping on it. Nothing happens, so he drags a chair to the tank, stands on it, and proceeds to bare ass press ham both cheeks against the glass. The kids parents are oblivious, and the restuarant staff couldn't seem to give less of a fuck. Meanwhile this kid's naked asshole is being smeared wantonly all across the display. Faint streaks of fecal matter begin to appear. The staff continues to ignore him, and his parent seem unaware of his very existence. He begins to flatulate, at which point another couple waiting for a table gets up and leaves in disgust. Raw, unfiltered farts in the front of your restraunt can't be good for business, but the hostess either doesn't see the kid five feet away from her or simply chooses to ignore him. Our table still wasn't ready, and one of the four in our party actually fancied lobster that night, so we made the executive decision to go to Outback instead.

5/9/2012 4:48:36 PM

Quote :

"ASS PRESS HAM "

5/9/2012 5:12:14 PM

^^thats funny there

5/9/2012 6:41:11 PM