I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep. Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home she got out of someone's car, buttoning her blouse, and then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, crouched behind the boat, that I noticed a small, hairline crack in the outboard engine mounting bracket, just to the right of the bolt holes. Is that something I can weld or do I need to replace it?

8/11/2011 10:55:50 PM

Yo holmes!

8/11/2011 10:57:34 PM

http://www.yfzcentral.com/forum/11-yfzcentral-lounge/105722-what-should-i-do.html
http://www.702sportbikes.com/showthread.php?36651-What-should-I-do
http://www.boatkb.com/Uwe/Forum.aspx/uk-sailing/5374/FOG-well-it-s-quiet-here-Was-re-Help-Please

8/11/2011 10:57:47 PM

AIDS

[Edited on August 11, 2011 at 11:02 PM. Reason : ]

8/11/2011 10:58:02 PM

It is fortunate that you found the problem with the crack. If the boat is stored near navigable water, it is suggested that you give it a temporary tack weld in case of an emergency. This is very important: the engine can only be run at very low power with the tack weld -- anything more will get you about 1000 yards from shore before the weld will give way, snapping the engine around with more than enough force to rip the remaining mount completely off the boat.
Such an accident would leave the boat adrift without an engine so I suggest you install an emergency oar on a special mount. Drill a hole through the bottom of the hull to accomodate a length of 4" drainpipe. Only enough drainpipe needs extend below the hull to accomodate a 4" drain cap in which you drill a 3/4" hole. Do not glue/epoxy the cap to the pipe -- also drill a 3/4" hole in the shaft of the oar, then insert an extra long 3/4" bolt or threaded rod through the pipe cap (securing it to the cap with a nut on the inner side) up through the pipe and then through the oar, tightening down tightly a nut on top of the emergency oar, which will hold the oar in place as well as keep the cap tight on the outer hull side of the pipe. Then label the oar with instructions to remove the nut for emergecy use and pound the bolt down into the shaft hole to more easily remove thwe oar from the bolt. Then attach, in whatever means, a wrench to the oar.
Now, well before your wife's time to 'go out with the girls', or whatever, take off from home and, if possible, block the road in. Park the car off to the side (bump into a tree for good effect) and walk back to the house. Make sure the boat is docked in the water and alert your wife to the roadblock and the fact that you're heading back to the car and heading to the repair shop (if she hasn't a wrist watch and you're unobserved, turn the clocks ahead about an hour). By all means, let her know that you're not leaving her stranded -- if it's such an emergency that thinks she really needs to leave, she can use the boat -- no need to tell her anything but how to get the engine started -- but you will be back as soon as possible (we suggest you not return until late in the morning).

PS I should warn that if you meet your living, breathing wife the next morning, she's probably going to be as mad as a wet hen -- but accidents are accidents.

8/11/2011 10:58:32 PM

LOL

8/11/2011 10:58:34 PM

If it's cheap to replace, replace it.

If it's expensive to replace, keep welding it until you can't weld no longer.

If it's expensive and you can't weld, no longer, replace it.

8/11/2011 10:59:11 PM

settLOLedown

8/11/2011 10:59:13 PM

No one answer his first question: I'd shoot her & him, then go riding in the woods and bury the body.

Where exactly is the crack? My buddy had chipped pieces off the front motor mount bolt holes to expose more of the bolts. Never fixed it and never had an issue after that.

I would get new cases if it is anywhere near the important stuff. Unless you are extremely confident in your quality of welding. I've seen broken cases in the shop that were filled with JB and they were sh!t. Your best bet is to replace the cases.

P.S. Use the plastic coated rounds. They leave no rifling on the bullets. Untraceable.

8/11/2011 11:00:31 PM

I read this out to Samwise16 and bmel. It had them going and they lol'd

8/11/2011 11:10:14 PM

i enjoy COMPLETE FOLKLORE

8/11/2011 11:26:17 PM

Give me any odds of what you think your wife cheating on you is.

Let's do something large.

Let's do something like....

"There's a 1 out of 1x10^10 chance."

That means there's a one in ten billion chance of your wife cheating on you.

Is that not rare enough for you? Okay. Let's do 1 out of 1x10^15. That's a one in one quadrillion chance.

Based on observations from the Hubble Space Telescope, there are at least 125 billion galaxies in the universe.

It is estimated that at least ten percent of all sun-like stars have a system of planets, there are 6.25×10^18 stars with planets orbiting them in the universe.

If even a billionth of these stars have planets supporting life, there are some 6.25×10^9 (billion) life-supporting planetary systems in the universe.

6,250,000,000.

Now, what are the odds that your wife NEVER cheated on you?

8/11/2011 11:27:59 PM

8/11/2011 11:29:07 PM

When I was 12 I had my first sexual experience. At the time, I lived in a little suburb outside of Cleveland and anyway, the girl next door and I were really good friends. Our parents were both gone for the day and she was over playing Transformers with me. So anyway, we kinda got.. Bored I guess? And we started playing truth or dare, which turned into 'you show me yours, I'll show you mine". So anyway there I Was, 12 years old, heart pounding, blood rushing in my ears, and the chick (who was a year older than me actually) takes off her panties and hikes her little skirt up. So What did I do, you ask? I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said "fresh" and there were dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought "naw forget it, yo home to bel-air!" I pulled up to the house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabbie "yo homes smell ya later!" Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there. To settle my throne as the prince of bel-air.

8/11/2011 11:29:23 PM

Quote :

"I read this out to Samwise16 and bmel. It had them going and they lol'd"

LOL! That must've been awesome... I can totally picture it.

8/11/2011 11:32:26 PM

Guys, you'll never believe what just happened no less than 15 minutes ago. so my sister and her boyfriend came home while i was watching TV and they went into the kitchen to get some drinks. while in the kitchen they were doing their whole lovey dovey thing and kissing and playing grab-ass and what not, and it was unappealing to me, so i went up to my room. a few minutes later, i heard them enter into my sister's room and then some rustling occurred. i thought nothing of it, they were probably just making out again on her bed. then i heard her scream and i got worried so i ran over to her room, and opened the door, got on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur! open to door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur.

[Edited on August 11, 2011 at 11:33 PM. Reason : ]

8/11/2011 11:32:36 PM

When I was about nine, I had recently gotten a Nintendo Entertainment System from a garage sale down the road, the first gaming system I ever had. One game that I bought was Super Mario Brothers 3, the final chapter of the widely-acclaimed SMB trilogy, which like in the original Super Mario Brothers consisted of Mario/Luigi chasing after Princess Toadstool (whose name has since been bastardized to 'Peach'). Back on topic though; I popped in the game in my new NES and pressed Start. I started at World 1, of course, and began playing. During this, I got used to the controls, map, and all that jazz. After all, it IS supposed to be kinda like a tutorial level. So I had advanced to World 2, "Desert Land" and I was moving along rather smoothly. In the back of my mind, I knew that at some point the levels would start to get more difficult. I soon noticed a tile, one unlike the other tiles (Toad houses, numbered tiles, etc). It appeared to be some cross-hybrid of flowing diarrhea and sand, which caught my attention. I navigated my way to the tile, and hit the A button and was warped to what appeared to be a normal level; there even was a happy sunshine in the top left corner! As I side-scrolled my way through the level, the fucking sun decided to go apeshit and sodomize me repeatedly until I finally broke down in tears, throwing my controller at the ground screaming for my mom. That fucking bastard.

8/11/2011 11:33:27 PM

Quote :

"my sister and her boyfriend came"

8/11/2011 11:34:42 PM

MOTHERFUCKING SHIT. I WAS JUST MASTURBATING AND EVERYTHING WAS GOING GREAT. I WAS IN MY ROOM, I HAD MY HEADPHONES ON, I WAS TOTALLY NAKED SITTING AT MY COMPUTER FAPPING AWAY TO A VIDEO ON REDTUBE. ALL OF A SUDDEN THERE'S THIS REALLY SHARP PAIN IN MY DICK, LIKE IT JUST GOT STABBED WITH A SEWING NEEDLE. I JERKED MY HAND BACK AND IT BUMPED INTO MY COMPUTER TOWER, WHICH SITS ON THE DESK. WELL, I HAD MY STICK OF DEODORANT ON TOP OF THE TOWER, AND THAT BITCH FELL OFF AND LANDED DEODORANT-END-DOWN ON THE HEAD OF MY COCK. HOLY FUCKING SHIT DID THAT HURT, AND ON TOP OF THAT IT HIT SO HARD THAT IT ACTUALLY FORCED SOME DEODORANT INTO MY URETHRA. I'VE NEVER HAD ANYTHING BURN SO BAD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I JUMPED OUT OF MY FUCKING CHAIR AND STOOD UP BECAUSE IT HURT SO BAD; THIS CAUSED MY HEADPHONE CABLE TO GET YANKED OUT OF MY SPEAKERS, WHICH CAUSED "OH YEAH BABY COME DEEP IN MY TIGHT TEEN ASSHOLE UH UH UH" TO GET BLARED THROUGH MY FUCKING HOUSE AND ALMOST MAXIMUM VOLUME. NOW MY EYES ARE WATERING FROM THE PAIN OF THE DEODORANT INSIDE MY COCK BUT I MANAGE TO PUNCH ONE OF MY SPEAKERS HARD ENOUGH SO THEY TURN OFF. I LOOKED DOWN AND NOTICED BLOOD DRIPPING OFF OF MY COCK; I GUESS THE LIP OF THE PLASTIC DEODORANT THING BIT INTO MY FORESKIN AS IT CONNECTED WITH MY COCK. THE BLOOD WAS DRIPPING DOWN MY LEG.

THIS ALL HAPPENED IN THE SPACE OF MAYBE 6 SECONDS. IT MAY SEEM BAD BUT IT GETS WORSE. JUST AS I'M STANDING THERE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED, MY BEDROOM DOOR FUCKING OPENS. MY DAD WAS STANDING THERE WITH MY ACCEPTANCE LETTER TO JOHNS HOPKINS. I FROZE AND HE STARED AT ME, NAKED WITH MY BLOODY ERECTION FOR MAYBE 15 SECONDS BEFORE HE NOTICED MY COMPUTER MONITOR AND THE BRUTAL ANAL SEX SCENE GOING ON FULL-SCREEN. HE IMMEDIATELY CLOSED THE DOOR AND LEFT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING. THIS MAY SEEM EMBARRASSING BUT MY DAD IS A SERIOUSLY CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN. THIS HAPPENED ABOUT 15 MINUTES AGO AND HE HASN'T SAID ANYTHING TO ME YET. I'M STILL IN MY ROOM TRYING TO GET THE GOD DAMN FUCKING OLD SPICE OUT OF MY COCK. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

8/11/2011 11:36:58 PM

hahahahaha

8/11/2011 11:38:15 PM

I remember it was the summer '06. Some friends and I had been on the road for a couple of weeks. Just travelling around, little bit of a road trip. Stopping off where we felt. Going to lots of pubs, clubs, parties, etc. Anyway one night we set out from our motel room to go to a nearby bar. We get there and it's fairly quiet. We had a few drinks but decided it was kinda boring and we were going to find some place else to drink for the night. Then just as we're leaving, she caught my eye. Across the room was the most beautiful truck I've ever seen. 87 model, was wearing a 200 gallon mixer tank, you know the kind. She had tyres that went on for days. A part of me was ready to leave already. But a part of me knew that if I didn't at least talk to her I'd regret it. I downed the last of my drink to get a little Dutch courage, then I made my move. I walked up to her and said, "Hi." Girls like this usually don't give me the time of day. But something was different this time. I don't know what it it was, if she was in a different mood cos she was on holidays, too, or if I was just in the zone that night or what. But much to my surprise she was totally into me. Every smile was met with a flash of her headlights, every joke was met with a honk of her horn. She was into me, it was time to close it. "Would you like to join me at my room?" I really had gone too far ths time. But instead I hear, "Sure, let's go." I couldn't believe it. It was on. The sexiest truck I've ever seen and she wants to have sex with me! Unbelievable! We get back to my room, make out for a while then made passionate love. The next day she headed off back home to work in a strip mine. She gave me her email address and we still keep in contact from time to time. But that was the best night of my life and I'll never forget her.

8/11/2011 11:38:48 PM