But today, around 2:15PM, I really had to piss. Problem solved.... I'll walk down the hall to the restroom.... business as usual. So I push the door to the restroom open, and walk to the urinal. Let me explain this first.

When you walk into the bathroom, the facilities are set up with two urinals to the left of three stalls. On the opposite side of this array is a long marble counter with three sinks. Much like this:


u1 l U2 |___|___|______|



___o1_______o2_______o3__
MIRROR
_________________________

With the last (biggest stall) being the handicapped stall.

I saddle up in front of U2 (seriously...who is there a need for a lower situated u1 in an office? there are no children in my office), and take my leak. FINALLY....RELIEF! I give my weiner a good shake to knock the piss dribbles from the opening of my urethra, tuck my dong away, and zip up. I turn around and walk towards the furthest sink (o3) because the first two sink soap dispensers are usually not filled with soap. As I pass the stall in the middle, I notice something different out of the corner of my eye....something odd.... something sinister. This causes me to turn my head and look (I can't tell you why. There was a dude in the middle stall taking a shit with the fucking door open.... and he was just sitting there staring at me.

At that very moment, I realized that in my 29 years, I had never 1) looked a man in the eye as he took a shit and 2) I had never been so goddamn intimidated in my entire life. I mean, I didn't sit there staring at the guy with a loving gaze or anything... I quickly turned away as if nothing was wrong and all was normal .... but it wasn't. As I washed my hands, in o3, I could tell that he was staring at me. I finished washing my hands, dried them off, and left the restroom.

It's been several hours now... and I still can't get this shit out of my head, man. I got fucking punk'd my a dude taking a shit. I became HIS BITCH for that entire time that I was in the restroom.

HALP

12/5/2011 8:55:04 PM

tldr

12/5/2011 8:55:55 PM

Quote :

"There was a dude in the middle stall taking a shit with the fucking door open.... and he was just sitting there staring at me."

hahahahhaha

12/5/2011 8:57:49 PM

there is only one solution

escalate and retaliate

12/5/2011 8:58:34 PM

the real question is how long did you stare back at him and when you made eye contact, did he smile?

12/5/2011 8:59:11 PM

Find him and confront him and ask him why he had the door open? Then ask him who does this? Insist on him answering your questions in this fact finding mission. Give him some juxtapositions, like "I don't shit in your house with the door open, do I?" Be cordial though. No need to get HR involved over shit like this.

12/5/2011 9:00:23 PM

the stare was only for a brief second, but it felt like a fucking eternity. If I were to describe his facial expression, I would say it was stoic.



^ I'm shook man. No... I don't want to see this person ever again.

[Edited on December 5, 2011 at 9:01 PM. Reason : a]

12/5/2011 9:00:50 PM

bwhahahah

betcha he winked at you too

12/5/2011 9:01:09 PM

did you check out his junk?

12/5/2011 9:01:32 PM

NO

12/5/2011 9:04:30 PM

Hahahahaha

12/5/2011 9:04:35 PM

Have you gone over your list of benefits and rights? I'm sure this is covered. You should be entitled to one "dude" and 3 questions (including "What the fuck?").

12/5/2011 9:06:13 PM

hahahahaha

12/5/2011 9:09:43 PM

I dying over here hahahaha

[Edited on December 5, 2011 at 9:11 PM. Reason : Srsly Jeff I may have peed a little at "stoic"]

12/5/2011 9:10:59 PM

take one of these


and confront him in his office

never look away from him

it's the only way to reclaim that part of your soul he took

[Edited on December 5, 2011 at 9:12 PM. Reason : don't say a word either]

12/5/2011 9:11:33 PM

1. Shock and denail - I think this happened pretty fast for me.
2. Pain and guilt - Guilt... no. But I went through a great deal of pain. The final few hours at work today had me scared to even go into the bathroom.
3. Anger and bargaining - I think that I'm here now. I'm angry that this happened to me, and I'm pretty much asking why? There are so many questions.
4. Depression
5. Adjustment
6. Reconstruction
7. Acceptance

12/5/2011 9:21:32 PM

hey tough guy, whats going on?

12/6/2011 1:29:33 PM

This calls for a sign on the bathroom door that calls an end to the practice of open-door pooping.

12/6/2011 1:41:34 PM

methinks he be lookin fer a blumpkin

12/6/2011 1:48:23 PM

Stage set for awkward hall passings where you look away whilst you feel his eyes dominating you.

This dude is systematically shitting with the stall door open until he has successfully conquered every male in the vicinity and he owns that building. Your only hope is to strategically ban with females in your building, over whom, his power is useless.

this man is an evil genius.

12/6/2011 1:49:45 PM

did he have a "wide stance"?

12/6/2011 2:09:46 PM

yah

12/6/2011 2:10:16 PM

His coup de grace would've been wiping without breaking eye contact

12/6/2011 2:10:34 PM

^^blump

kin

I swear

12/6/2011 2:13:01 PM

wlb420 said:

Quote :

"Stage set for awkward hall passings where you look away whilst you feel his eyes dominating you. This dude is systematically shitting with the stall door open until he has successfully conquered every male in the vicinity and he owns that building. Your only hope is to strategically ban with females in your building, over whom, his power is useless. this man is an evil genius."

I went through a phase of posting suggestions about how to dominate at work via the bathroom.

12/6/2011 2:29:55 PM

more like ThreadKiller

12/9/2011 8:04:20 PM

Shit, I thought this thread was about tuff_fratguy.

12/9/2011 9:56:16 PM

clearly you should have winked at him

12/9/2011 10:18:18 PM

This happened to me at the mall recently, except it was a kid who was maybe 8 years staring me down like I'd just walked into his tree fort.

I apologized and left. I may have even called him "sir".

4/23/2013 11:00:57 AM