I have been married for over 12 years now. Because of a military assignment, my wife and I don't live together right now. I typically go home on the weekends and see her and my daughter, but this weekend I stayed in town to get some stuff done before going on Christmas leave.

So anyway, a big group of us went out to a bar last night to do karaoke, drink beer, eat wings, etc. It was near the end of the night, and I was at the bar closing out my tab, and some girl came up to me and asked me if I wanted to do a shot (I was waiting for the bartender to run my credit card at this point). I said "sure", and we started with some small talk, which basically consisted of her asking me where I worked, where I was from, etc. At one point, I referenced my family, and she was like, "Wait a minute, you're married?" I held up my hand and showed her my wedding ring, and said yes. She rolled her eyes and told me that this conversation was over and stormed off. (Of note, she was either so embarrassed or so angry that she accidentally walked into the men's bathroom at this point, which I found funny).

So here's my question. Is there some code that I am required to immediately tell any chick that I am married, or is this just some stupid bitch acting like stupid bitches do? At no time did I ever remotely come on to this girl - in fact, she wasn't very pretty at all. I really don't feel like I did anything wrong at all, but if there is some unwritten rule that I broke, I would like to know about it. Honestly, I would have acted the exact same way even if my wife was standing right there beside me. But whatevs... thanks for any advice TWW. For some reason this bothered me a lot.

12/11/2011 9:55:54 PM

If you had your ring on then it's on her for not checking.

12/11/2011 9:57:35 PM

Nah, you're good man. Cheating on your wife is obviously so far from your mind, that you think nothing of talking to some random woman. It's this woman's fault for getting mad. You should rape her.

12/11/2011 9:59:16 PM

Look at it this way, you got a free shot.

12/11/2011 9:59:49 PM

Women are taught from the cradle to look for a wedding band.

12/11/2011 10:01:02 PM

if she's trolling for guys where there is a military deployment she probably got what she was looking for before she left the bathroom

12/11/2011 10:04:33 PM

Sounds like she is FeebleMinded

12/11/2011 10:05:32 PM

haha sounds like dumb girl is dumb. I know I always check for a ring.

your ring was on. you're good

12/11/2011 10:06:13 PM

Yeah she should've checked. Her fault.

12/11/2011 10:08:03 PM

Quote :

"you got a free shot"

12/11/2011 10:09:28 PM

Quote :

"If you had your ring on then it's on her for not checking."

That the way I understand it.

It probably matters most that your wife also understands the rule that way too.

12/11/2011 10:14:38 PM

probably another dumb whore trying to get those government benefits.


laugh it off, you got a free shot and you still got your wife.

12/11/2011 10:17:39 PM

women do that shit to dudes all the time intentionally

so, fuck her

male chauvinism ftw

12/11/2011 10:19:50 PM

you good

12/11/2011 10:24:38 PM

ha i was talking to a girl at a bar one night while we were waiting for a bartender (it was crowded) and all of a sudden she freaked out because she saw my wedding ring. I wasn't aware talking was not allowed.

12/11/2011 10:47:29 PM

Quote :

"women do that shit to dudes all the time intentionally so, fuck her male chauvinism ftw"

12/11/2011 10:47:33 PM

^^ To a lot of people, it's not. (which is pretty fucked up if you ask me)

12/11/2011 10:48:52 PM

my gf used to let dudes by her drinks when i was in the bar with her

i told her to cut that shit, for multiple reasons

12/11/2011 10:49:44 PM

12/11/2011 10:51:10 PM

Sweet, thank you for the feedback.

12/11/2011 11:09:32 PM

this is exactly why i stopped talking to women. you never know when one of them just wants to bwn you. and then they had to go and invent gay guys. and despite claims to the contrary, you can't just tell who is gay and who isn't. so now i've had to stop talking to guys too. so here i am, all day long talking to only my wife and my computer. and of course cus i spend all this time between the two of them, my wife now gives me nasty glares whenever she sees me spending time with "her." she knows there's nothing going on between us. i just can't win

12/11/2011 11:12:39 PM

No, you did nothing wrong. And personally, I agree that it's very irritating that you apparently can't speak to someone of the opposite sex if you're married, engaged, whatever. There have been a few times while I have been down here where I'll just be chatting with a guy and they give me the cold shoulder if I bring up Eric or they see my ring. Except for the lesbians - they didn't seem to care..

12/11/2011 11:58:25 PM

12 years???? jesus chirst man

12/12/2011 12:01:34 AM

Naw, it's the hitter's responsibility to check for a ring on a hittee

12/12/2011 12:03:52 AM

what does Hitler have to do with anything

12/12/2011 12:04:52 AM

Quote :

"Look at it this way, you got a free shot."

12/12/2011 12:05:47 AM

I'm probably terrible at dating but I never look for rings. Its one thing that just never crosses my mind.

But I wouldn't get offended if someone brought up the fact that they were married into a conversation. That seems pretty ridiculous.

12/12/2011 11:14:45 AM

Since she was ugly, you should have just let her blow you.

12/12/2011 11:45:36 AM

My wife lets other guys buy her drinks at the bar.

In the midst of them hitting on her, I casually walk up to them and say, "$1,500 a month in the mailbox, and she's yours."

12/12/2011 11:45:36 AM

Usually the only time a stranger buys you a drink in a bar is when they want to get in your pants.

12/12/2011 11:50:03 AM

As girl who gets offered free shots whenever I'm alone at a bar, if I'm in a relationship and a guy comes up to me asking if I want a drink etc, I just start of by saying something like "sure, but I'm with someone." At first it felt weird like do I really need to say something like this lol, but with time I learned that it's better to err on the side of caution and that it's just a nice courtesy. Guys (and I guess girls for you) buy me drinks in hoping to get laid, if they do come up to buy me a drink just to make friends then they automatically know that it is as a friend, if they do it to get laid, then they now have the option to say nevermind and walk away. I think it would have been nice if you had just said "Thanks, but just so you know I'm married" at the beginning.

12/12/2011 11:53:11 AM

Quote :

"my gf used to let dudes by her drinks when i was in the bar with her i told her to cut that shit, for multiple reasons"

i used to feel that way

then i learned to be entertained by it

got to the point where i'd rate her performance based on the guy's reaction when we left together at the end of the night

12/12/2011 1:23:47 PM

definitely should check for a ring, its the person in the relationships responsibility to mention if they have a bf/gf outside of that.

12/12/2011 1:27:00 PM

Checking for a ring isn't fool proof though. My husband and I almost never wear our rings. When he gets hit on, he's always like 'slut' until I remind him that they have no way of knowing he's married.

[Edited on December 12, 2011 at 1:55 PM. Reason : stupid Autocorrect ]

12/12/2011 1:54:32 PM

She's silly. Your ring tells the whole story.

12/12/2011 3:10:15 PM

Quote :

"my gf used to let dudes by her drinks when i was in the bar with her i told her to cut that shit,for multiple reasons because I'm insecure."

FTFY

12/12/2011 3:16:05 PM

she didn't check for the ring

but what kind of guy is going to accept the shot if he's not single?

getting a drink purchased for you is pretty simple "let's flirt" territory, so she took your acceptance as something more than it was

limit your mixed messages

12/12/2011 3:26:12 PM

I will accept drinks from hot ladies, except of the rufied (sp?) variety

12/12/2011 3:28:43 PM

Quote :

"I will accept drinks from hot ladies"

then you better put out

12/12/2011 3:29:46 PM

Quote :

"but what kind of guy is going to accept the shot if he's not single?"

don't women accept drinks allmost of the time from guys even if they're not single?

12/12/2011 3:29:50 PM

I don't see why you have to declare anything if they don't out right say "hey you are cute" or something, fuck it... as if buying someone one drink has ever sealed the deal for anyone

12/12/2011 3:30:18 PM

o dag

12/12/2011 3:30:32 PM

Quote :

"but what kind of guy is going to accept the shot if he's not single?"

oh fuck... all those times my buddies have bought me a shot they were sexually interested in me? SHIT

12/12/2011 5:04:41 PM

Quote :

"just some stupid bitch acting like stupid bitches do"

FTW

12/12/2011 5:46:04 PM

No one ever offers to buy me a drink... Guess I'm doing it wrong

12/12/2011 5:48:55 PM

Quote :

"oh fuck... all those times my buddies have bought me a shot they were sexually interested in me? SHIT "

Your buddies are complete strangers in bars? That sounds sad.

12/12/2011 5:50:00 PM

just stand at the bar and stick your ass out

12/12/2011 5:50:07 PM

^^^ yea, can't say I have had a drink offered to me either, boys

12/12/2011 5:52:17 PM

But I have no ass - and I think I have jut the opposite of a flirty personality


Not to derail the thread or anything, but what is the criteria for a guy to buy a girl a drink? I think I'm too cheap buy a random dude a drink

12/12/2011 5:53:29 PM

you can probably just buy a cheap beer?!?

12/12/2011 5:54:41 PM