does anyone else ever worry that you're going to find the same pitfalls and devistations as your parents or grandparents?

it's random, but I always despised coming anywhere near becoming my father or his father, both of which are alcoholics and lived foreshortened lives because of the mistakes they made with women, money, etc., and it seems that's just where fate has brought me.

2/1/2012 1:08:17 PM

Fate has nothing to do with it. You make your own life. If you don't want to be an alcoholic, don't.

2/1/2012 1:10:35 PM

So you're an alcoholic?

And your father can't spell?

2/1/2012 1:10:41 PM

This is why I'm not having kids.

2/1/2012 1:20:57 PM

I aspire to be like my father. Heck, if could be half the man he is I would be very happy with the way I live my life.

2/1/2012 1:23:47 PM

i just had the thought this morning. my father's had some brain cancer removed and he's losing it. he's only 50

2/1/2012 1:27:53 PM

Quote :

"And your father can't spell?"

it would appear that grammar wasn't his strong suit either...

Quote :

"i just had the thought this morning. my father's had some brain cancer removed and he's losing it. he's only 50"

[Edited on February 1, 2012 at 1:48 PM. Reason : k]

2/1/2012 1:48:35 PM

I want to be as similar to my grandfather as possible with the one exception of not smoking myself to death. That did not look like a pleasant way to go.

Everyone in my primogeniture line is pretty awesome actually.

2/1/2012 2:01:58 PM

No, because my day to day life is already really different from my parents'/grandparents'. I don't eat (most) meat like they do, I exercise so I don't die an early death from chronic diseases, I'm not married, I'm not interested at the moment in having kids, I'm involved with my community, and I'm college educated. And, I don't drive very much, don't live in the burbs, etc. etc.

But am I a lot like my parents, especially my mother? Absolutely. I've got the same attitude and blue mouth,
and I'm training to become a nurse like my mom.

You can let your influences control your life, or you can take that, appreciate the ways you're different or similar, and make your own distinct path.

2/1/2012 2:24:06 PM

^I always thought you were a male. And then I was going to poke fun of you for being a male nurse. But I guess not. carry on.

2/1/2012 2:25:21 PM

Quote :

"I want to be as similar to my grandfather as possible with the one exception of not smoking myself to death."

2/1/2012 2:29:30 PM

It is hard, but sometimes you have to try to see the behaviors in yourself so you can stop it.

I have this problem too, my mom, is aweseome... but growing up things were stressful and I have adopted many of her strategies of avoiding stress, which is not productive and drives people close to her insane.

by recognizing the pattern that my mom takes before becoming destructive, I can sense when stress is high and use it to put energy into a project or something.

2/1/2012 2:56:12 PM

I struggle with some of the personal interaction issues that plague my father. He's comparable to Issac Newton in that he's exceedingly smart and creative but he looks down at everyone around him with a bit of disdain like they are all morons. My aim is to let people tackle problems their own way and to not simply jump in with my solution and assume it's the best course.

2/1/2012 3:06:47 PM

Quote :

"I aspire to be like my father. Heck, if could be half the man he is I would be very happy with the way I live my life."

same here ... my paternal grandfather committed suicide when my dad was less than 2 years old ... yet i have one of the best dad's a kid could ask for. that dude is my hero. not only is he a great dad but a great, giving person who has saved many lives and received awards for his heroism. love pops

[Edited on February 1, 2012 at 3:44 PM. Reason : sdf]

2/1/2012 3:43:10 PM

Fate in a sense does have something to with it, Beethoven86. Your genetics can cause predispositions. Learned habits can be passed from generations to generations. And worse, sometimes learned habits can play to genetic predispositions...

2/1/2012 3:49:51 PM

None of those are fate.

And I'm not trying to be harsh. But, if the guy doesn't want to grow up to be like his old man, then he needs to make that a conscious part of his daily life. Sure, it might be harder for him than for others, but don't blame your shortcomings on "fate" because you dislike who you've become.

[Edited on February 1, 2012 at 4:00 PM. Reason : ]

2/1/2012 3:59:15 PM

I find myself becoming more and more like my father every year, which is a good thing. the only drawback is i'm losing my hair and becoming bald

2/1/2012 3:59:56 PM

But seriously, if you dislike the way he lived then you've got a pretty clear road map of what not to do.

2/1/2012 4:06:56 PM

Fuckin' a. Every time, Mr. Joshua beats me to it.

2/1/2012 4:22:50 PM

I've taken a very different path than my father up to this point. By the time he was my age he had two kids out of wedlock, dropped out of college, had served in the Air Force, and was developing a bad drug habit.

I'm more worried about becoming my mother, who raised me. She can be harsh and judgmental in ways I find... unsettling. She also a bit of a hoarder, she has trouble throwing stuff away. But the mere fact I will likely no have children puts me on a different path than both of my parents anyway.

2/1/2012 4:41:22 PM

On the serious note, I can only aspire to be the man my father is. If I can be half that man, I will be in good standing.

2/1/2012 4:46:55 PM

fate is bullshit

as is god

2/1/2012 6:19:18 PM

wouldn't mind having my dads salary

2/1/2012 6:22:40 PM

Sometimes I worry that I'm going to be obese like my dad. I find it to be very encouraging to not be lazy or a fatty.

Pretty sure I'm going to be just like my Mom and that is fine with me. She's awesome.

2/1/2012 6:43:59 PM

From AntiMnifesto

Quote :

"But am I a lot like my parents, especially my mother? Absolutely. I've got the same attitude and blue mouth"

From urbandictionary

Quote :

"blue mouth - adj. Describing the mouth of a man or woman that has cured a man of blue balls."

interesting

2/1/2012 7:02:01 PM

My father was an alcoholic, and yet I dislike the taste of alcohol and the sensation of drunkenness.

My father was a devout Christian, and yet I am strongly atheist.

My father was obsessed with masculinity, but as for me...well you know~♥

2/1/2012 7:19:00 PM

So OP is a prodigal womanizer who will die young? What a horrorshow!

Quote :

"This is why I'm not having kids."

Does not compute.

2/1/2012 7:19:38 PM

it's how she'll break the cycle of psycho.

2/1/2012 8:01:27 PM

2/1/2012 8:22:19 PM

Oh you people. I meant I had blue language, like a sailor.

2/1/2012 8:49:03 PM