At Echo Project I watched a wookette giving birth during the GZA set. I was just peaking on some 2ci. People were trying to get medical help, but they hadn't arrived. Some other wookette claimed to be a midwife and was coaching the woman through this. Her wook man is standing there shirtless and spun like top, just making these weird sounds while he is crushing his beer can and spraying coors light all over everyone. He looked really anxious about the whole thing, grabbing his face and just making grunts and stuff.
The baby's head starts to crown and the medics still haven't arrived.

This is where it gets crazy...
It was so fucking dusty out there and the baby and all the surrounding fluids were immediately "muddified" by the blowing dirt. I mean, its fucking gross. All of a sudden, this fucking kid (probably 19 or 20) in his oversized neon, flat-brim LRG hat, runs up yelling "welcome to the party bitch!" before he blows a huge plume of smoke right in the baby's face! While the umbilical cord is still attached and shit!

The smell was unmistakeable, this baby had just been deemster'd.

He must have pulled the hit from a bong, b/c it was monstrous. The surrounding crowd dropped their jaws, and someone tackled the kid as he starts to run away. He didn't make it more than 10ft and the he was probably blasting off about now.

The mom is clutching the dirty baby and trying to calm it. Though, strangely, the baby was not crying (tripping balls i guess?).
And while the dude is getting screamed at, the dad suddenly pounces into action. He jumps on the dude, and starts smashing said bisco kid's face with the crushed up beer can, of which he seemingly just can't let go. The bisco kid is kicking and trying to roll out of it and the wook-dad grabs the kid's hair w/ one hand. he finally let the can go and shoves his other hand half way inside the guys mouth. He is pulling his mouth open and RIPS HIS CHEEK OPEN! repeat: rips his fucking CHEEK OPEN!

there is blood everywhere and the dude lets out this braveheart-like scream as he gets pulled off by the folks around him. Blood all over bisco kid's face, shirt and formerly fresh flat breezy. The cops/medics arrived about that time and took over the situation.

Shit was crazy as hell.

3/27/2012 6:30:30 PM

WTTPB

3/27/2012 7:01:08 PM

I don't know what a lot of those words are

I think I like it like that

3/27/2012 7:04:30 PM

nanz

3/27/2012 7:16:59 PM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Echo_Project

3/27/2012 7:26:11 PM

I was thinking echo base on planet hoth and there being wookies (wookette being a female one maybe) giving birth.

3/27/2012 7:47:42 PM

Echo isn't around anymore is it?

3/27/2012 7:59:00 PM

Yo Holmes to Bel Aire.

3/27/2012 9:17:40 PM

Quote :

"I was thinking echo base on planet hoth and there being wookies (wookette being a female one maybe) giving birth."

3/27/2012 9:19:23 PM

::unzips pants::

3/27/2012 9:38:00 PM

lololol, fucking wooks

3/27/2012 10:48:42 PM

Quote :

"I was thinking echo base on planet hoth and there being wookies (wookette being a female one maybe) giving birth."

same

3/27/2012 11:03:47 PM

The dad sounds cool as shit, I definitely want to party with him.

3/27/2012 11:06:17 PM

daaaaang

3/27/2012 11:06:24 PM

i really hope you're not bullshitting. that story is the stuff of legends.

3/27/2012 11:23:42 PM

i read wookette and peaking and i pretty much can assume the rest of the story could only go in a few ways

mfw when you were tripping balls and watched your own birth

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.


[Edited on March 27, 2012 at 11:31 PM. Reason : implying you didn't copy paste this]

3/27/2012 11:29:53 PM

Where did you find this story?

3/27/2012 11:34:39 PM

my guess is phantasytour

3/28/2012 12:08:31 AM

you guess correct

3/28/2012 12:28:33 AM

I don't like wooks

or tree thuggers

3/28/2012 12:42:48 AM

I just read through that twice and have no idea what in the fuck you are talking about.

3/28/2012 1:17:51 AM

this is one of the greatest stories i've ever read

3/28/2012 1:25:07 AM

oh snap this a hella good deal we got hipster tires off the chain they red and yellow as fuck front ones look like new but back ones has a few skids in them because we don't has no breaks because we so raw but you can use them for like a jillion thousand miles use these rubbahs for anything you need besides birth control they so raw oh snap I be holding them right now you need this shit it says they are 700cm but that doesn't make any god damn sense because they aren't 23 feet in diameter so some bitch is lying to us but they are 25 mm wide so they roll faster than all yo bitch asses on ecstasy brand is innova and they so fresh because they so colorful they hurt your eyes to look at 15 dolla or best offer for a pair, we got one pair in red and one in yellow hot damn get em while they in season.

Location: campus
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

3/28/2012 1:31:37 AM

its horrible but I find myself continuously laughing at a newborn baby all fucked up on dmt

3/28/2012 1:33:27 AM

Quote :

"Wook A wook is a hippie without any ambition, motivation, or drive other than drugs and image. They're generally in their twenties, college students (or dropouts) at small-town liberal colleges (such as Appalachian State University) and dependent on an income other than their own. Wooks tend to travel in packs, they smell strongly of patchouli and are in constant search for free drugs. One of the defining characteristics is an excessive amount of unkempt hair, usually in dreadlocks. It is important to make the distinction between a hippie and a wook. Hippies can generally be viewed as positive, optimistic members of society with an idealistic goal for the betterment of society. Wooks are everything that you've been warned about in regard to hippies wrapped into a neat little package. "

LOL

3/28/2012 1:44:19 AM

conformity and uniforms
we're brainwashed from the day we're born
and every day we're living dead
repeating all the lies we're fed
sock monkeys and leather bears
unite against the billionaires
trade ideas or hug it out
cuz isn't that what life's about?

3/28/2012 2:28:05 AM

Don't feed the wookies is like a lesson learned by minute 5 of bonnaroo

3/28/2012 2:29:24 AM

on the related topic of fucked up people at music festivals, this is priceless

3/28/2012 2:33:12 AM

ridiculous shit like that is why I don't go to music festivals
and I don't mean the girl getting all dendrophillic, I'm cool with that
I mean the hordes of pubescent bros endlessly video taping

I go to things that are much less structured and potentially more dangerous but also more rewarding
hopefully with smarter and more responsible people

3/28/2012 3:29:01 AM

I'd video tape that shit, it's hilarious.

3/28/2012 10:39:45 AM

3/28/2012 11:17:58 AM

how fucked up could the baby have gotten, unless he breathed it completely down his throat? i thought that stuff took a ton of hits

3/28/2012 2:30:15 PM

I dunno, but I'm gonna pretend that baby was tripping nuts because it makes me laugh

also its ghilarious when that chick slaps the tree and tells it to shush

[Edited on March 28, 2012 at 5:19 PM. Reason : .]

3/28/2012 5:18:16 PM