Quote :

"I mean, I can understand that if they remade Willy Wonka again and cast him as Samuel L. Jackson."

that would be amazing

[Edited on March 27, 2012 at 10:16 PM. Reason : quote]

3/27/2012 10:15:53 PM

I would see it if he takes out every mother fucking oompa loompa in the room.

3/27/2012 10:17:51 PM

You'd have to get that midget dwarf munchkin little person from Bad Santa to play the Oompa Loompa, like that Indian guy from Eastbound who played with Johnny Depp. He could definitely keep up with Samuel L. They should rate it R and get that black kid from Role Models to play Charlie Bucket. And have the weird looking kid from Two and Half Men get fat again and play Augustus Klump, but his death scene would be very drawn out and graphic. Footage would have to be cut to avoid an NC-17. Maybe have one of the girls be Willow Smith, and she would die too. Find a few more kids, a nice racial mix to appear to a wide audience and not get the dreaded 'black movie' tag like the Tyler Perry/Kevin Hart fare and miss out on the lucrative white 18-35 demo. Gotta have Michael Caine as Grandpa Joe. Throw Christopher McDonald in there as "concerned parent" and its always funny when he pops up in a movie. Get some midlevel hack like Brett Ratner or McG to direct, some nice special effects, effective marketing, at least two tit scenes, and bam...you got yourself a summer blockbuster.

3/27/2012 10:33:00 PM

This would be amazing. But you can replace "Willy Wonka" with virtually any character and it would still be amazing.

Funny movies are improved because Samuel L. Jackson is funny.
Action movies are improved because he is badass.
Period dramas involving British aristocratic love affairs are improved because they suck but would become hilarious with the introduction of Samuel L. Jackson. (This goes for other shitty types of movies)

And Willy Wonka is improved because the title character is kind of creepy and weird, but would immediately become terrifying if he were Samuel L. motherfucking Jackson.

^That...that would make "Citizen Kane" look like "Shark Night 3D"

[Edited on March 27, 2012 at 10:37 PM. Reason : ]

3/27/2012 10:36:14 PM

I am tired of these mothafuckin kids, in my mothafuckin chocolate river


I've got a golden chic-let

[Edited on March 27, 2012 at 10:37 PM. Reason : ]

3/27/2012 10:36:47 PM

Your welcome.

3/27/2012 11:29:07 PM

Wonka wasn't real. They can't cast him as anyone

I'm Krallum and I approved this message

3/27/2012 11:33:47 PM

?

3/27/2012 11:36:34 PM

We need to get axl on it...he has one movie in production

3/27/2012 11:37:32 PM

I think the the fat blonde kid from Eastbound would be a good fit for Mike Teavee. Have Miley Cyrus to play Veruca Salt and show extreme closeups of the squirrels ripping the flesh from her body. Violet could be Mila Kunis. but instead of always chewing gum, she's always blowing somebody, even Willy, shit, even Grandpa Joe. You'd have to redo the backstory to account for the fact that the 2005 version was such a disaster. Willy's Dad is a dentist who doesn't let him eat candy as a child, thus inspiring him to create a candy empire as an adult? Rubbish. Instead, Samuel L. is a football prodigy who blows his knee out in the Championship game. Without an education to fall back on, he turns to slanging crack, eventually experimenting with proprietary blends to create new strains that have everyone fiending for his shit. People start calling it "candy" due to its sweet taste and addictive qualities. Wonka eventually gets enough capital to go legit, and leaves the crack game in the hands of his brother Delroy Lindo. He starts up a modest factory that eventually grows into the empire we all know, and the movie starts with the advent of the "Golden Ticket" program as the highlight of his factory's grand opening. Maybe have some tie in comics and webisodes to help folks get up to speed. It can't miss.

3/28/2012 12:08:53 PM

Nobody is going to read all of that shit bro

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

3/28/2012 12:13:04 PM

holy shit. Samuel L. Jackson as Willy L. Wonka would be fucking fantastic.

3/28/2012 12:16:36 PM

do it blacksploitation style

Willy Wonka and Da Chocolate Blacktory

[Edited on March 28, 2012 at 12:22 PM. Reason : replace the oompa loompas with Fly Girls; Willy has to call someone a honkey several times]

3/28/2012 12:18:45 PM