She forgot her list so I just grabbed a basket when we walked in thinking that she'd remember most of the items.

We walk around a bit and all she can remember is a bottle of baby oil. After walking around a bit more with no luck I tell her that I look like a real asshole taking up a whole shopping basket for one bottle of baby oil. She gives me a dirty look and grabs it, insisting that she'll carry it herself. I tell her that I look like an even bigger asshole carrying around an empty basket for no reason.

I ask her to put it back. She said "No."

I asked her again and she said "NO!"

So then I yell at her "PUT THE FUCKING LOTION IN THE BASKET!" in the middle of Target. Everyone stops and looks at us and she stormed off and spent the rest of the day mad at me. I thought it was worth it.

5/13/2012 6:46:52 PM

5/13/2012 6:48:03 PM

5/13/2012 6:48:17 PM

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!

5/13/2012 6:48:45 PM

Quote :

"HIT THAT BITCH IN TARGET BITCHES LOVE TARGET"

[Edited on May 13, 2012 at 6:50 PM. Reason : .]

5/13/2012 6:50:08 PM

Sounds like my day...

5/13/2012 6:50:21 PM

i lol'ed

5/13/2012 6:50:45 PM

oh my god is this real

a+ thread

5/13/2012 6:50:49 PM

someone's gonna get the hose again

5/13/2012 6:53:39 PM

haha nice

5/13/2012 6:53:48 PM

5/13/2012 6:56:49 PM

SHUT THE FUCK UP WHO FUCKING CARES ABOUT YOUR CHILDISH ARGUEMENT.


Ssly you need to keep that shit in house son

5/13/2012 7:46:18 PM

someone didnt get it

5/13/2012 7:51:02 PM

I was wrong, you are not funnier in chit chat than the soapbox

5/13/2012 7:51:45 PM

LOL

[Edited on May 13, 2012 at 8:38 PM. Reason : K]

5/13/2012 8:38:16 PM

Quote :

"I ask her to put it back. She said "No.""

This is your first mistake. You do not ask her to do anything. You tell her what to do. Instead of your pussy-ass request, you should have said, "Put that fucking bottle down, now. I'm not buying that shit."

Quote :

"I asked her again and she said "NO!""

This is your second mistake. If she didn't put the bottle down immediately then she is clearly acting in an insubordinate manner. You should have blackened both of her eyes and, at the very least, bruised several of her ribs with the bottom of your shoe.

Quote :

"So then I yell at her "PUT THE FUCKING LOTION IN THE BASKET!""

If this had been the first thing that you did then the outcome would have been much better and you'd be a man instead of a cuckolded faggot.

Quote :

"she stormed off and spent the rest of the day mad at me."

Did she emerge from her room later on to see someone who is significantly hotter than her polishing the dome of your dick on the couch that she paid for? If not, mistake #4.

Quote :

"I thought it was worth it."

I'm sure that the ^ directly above did not happen, so she probably called over her 'gay friend' to talk about in her room while you watched How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days on Netflix. When you go into her room later to go to sleep, I'm sure she'll make you go down on her. So instead of being a man and keeping that harlot in line at the local Target, you'll spend an hour and a half cleaning her "gay friend's" load out of her sore pussy.

[Edited on May 13, 2012 at 9:37 PM. Reason : hard to the core]

5/13/2012 9:35:46 PM

Quote :

"I look like a real asshole taking up a whole shopping basket"

are shopping baskets that hard to come by at this Target?

5/13/2012 9:37:42 PM

Perhaps it was a Target of upwardly-mobiles with so much time and cunning, they spend it analyzing the minutiae of individual, common, pedestrian shoppers.

5/13/2012 9:40:46 PM

Funny as hell......blaaaaaaah

5/13/2012 9:41:12 PM

was this in the Target in Cary?

because that matters..

5/13/2012 10:26:05 PM

tone, my friends, is everything

5/13/2012 10:33:24 PM

the middle if Target is, roughly, where the baby clothes are located

there's more to this story under the surface

5/13/2012 10:44:49 PM

I just got it lol

5/13/2012 10:47:26 PM

^ you are welcome

5/13/2012 11:09:31 PM

*yawn*

5/13/2012 11:12:08 PM

Lame story is lame.

5/14/2012 7:33:21 AM

I though baby oil was used for sex?

5/14/2012 8:33:52 AM

hahahaha this story made my morning

5/14/2012 8:41:05 AM

welcome to middle-aged t-dub... where its the same shit different day... every day.

5/14/2012 8:47:41 AM

aha, the best part of this lame ass joke are the idiots who dont get it

[Edited on May 14, 2012 at 9:06 AM. Reason : .]

5/14/2012 9:06:38 AM

It was a decent laff and also:

Quote :

"aha, the best part of this lame ass joke are the idiots who dont get it"

5/14/2012 9:11:25 AM

you would think that even those that haven't seen Silence of the Lambs would have watched Sportscenter at least once

5/14/2012 9:14:45 AM

Or Family Guy or any other TV show that makes pop culture references.

5/14/2012 9:15:54 AM

when i posted the pic early in the thread, i thought he had accidentally alluded to silence of the lambs

5/14/2012 9:18:36 AM

See, I am not the only guy with proof that women are irrational and crazy.

5/14/2012 9:25:24 AM

baby oil <> lotion
baby oil != lotion

5/14/2012 9:37:04 AM

hahaha okay this made me giggle. Well done.

5/14/2012 11:08:10 AM