7/9/2012 9:35:49 PM

more like seth LOLdown, amirite?

7/9/2012 9:37:29 PM

HAPPY 3000 POSTS, MULVA!!!!!

This page is really a dedication to my adoring fans. What fans you ask? Well, there was a time when the internet was truly a place for free speech and thus, there was a website that I enjoyed visiting on a regular basis. But now, the people who run this site that I speak of, FARK decided that I was, what they now refer to as an 'Attention Whore'. While I wouldn't completely disagree, I would say that I only 'threadjacked' 'threads' that were begging for it, or ones where my humor was appreciated.

Now so I'm told, the guy who basically does all the CGI for this site, decided that he had had enough of 'mytwocents' (Aka, me), and so, he blocked me from even getting to the site. Through all kinds of internet tricks he actually did make it difficult for me, but you see, when you're father is who my father is, you figure things out. So I went back to this site, and low and behold, after a short stint on this site where I attempted to reinvent myself, this time as 'SpinnerGirl' I was blocked, yet again. Do they know who I am? Well, I'm not real sure how they figured it out, perhaps there were just too many coincidences between 'SpinnerGirl' and 'Mytwocents' or maybe they just wanted to flex their 'fark' muscles and throw yet another loyal farker off their site.

Am I bitter? Well, yes, sure I am, I really enjoyed going to fark, I even won some 'photoshop' contests, and even had some submissions, but seriously, I mean, perhaps I may have deserved to get shit the first time around, but this time, I absolutely didn't, so I'm not going to beg to be allowed to go to their site, and I guess I will just have to live knowing that I was just too much for fark to handle.

Now there are some really cool people that visit fark, and they know who they are, for their protection (because you see, if the fark lords know they 'talk' to me, they might get blacklisted too) I won't list their names, but if you are one, and you would like to be listed here...please, let me know, and you can have your own tribute page to do with what you like here at the spin zone. Furthermore, I would like to invite any and all those people who have since been kicked off and banned from fark to please send me your info and let me know you're story, together we can make a difference. OK, I'm being a little obnoxious here, but I mean come on, I'm crying here for getting 'kicked off' a website. Sheesh, I really do have 'issues'.



In any case, I have saved the pages from the past fark threads that I, or 'mytwocents' took part in. Please note however, that any and all of my posts have since been deleted, and many references made by other farkers involving mytwocents, have been deleted as well, so really, you don't get to read the funny stuff I said, but I saved em anyway. I also have put all the 'scandalous' pictures that I had posted for difference reasons, at different times on fark, that inflamed the fark lords even more....I also ended up in many photoshops, which I thought was funny, so I've included them too. Enjoy!!

7/9/2012 9:39:49 PM

Where is that thread with all the non-blurred pics?

7/9/2012 9:43:36 PM

She needs a whole lotta bacon in her diet.

And Mila too,

7/9/2012 9:44:02 PM

7/9/2012 9:44:10 PM

This page is probably going to offend a very large percentage of the population, basically because it is about bad drivers and seeing as most of the population are bad drivers, this will offend many people. It also may offend other groups of the population so if you think you may fall into these groups (senior citizens, foreigners etc.) Then you have a choice, leave this page or take notes. If you are easily offended, you may want to leave, if you want to help the world be a better place, then I'd do us all a favor and do the latter. Remember.....this IS the Spin Zone.

***FOUND!!!THE WORLDS WORST DRIVER HAS BEEN FOUND.....RIGHT HERE IN PHOENIX!*** Scroll down for the breaking news!!

This page is devoted to:

Good drivers (such as myself)
People who understand that 'Road Rage' is the effect NOT the cause
Tired of people who can't drive

You are an idiot driver if:

You are on social security (for age or injury reasons)
You just got your license
You have a handicap license plate
You drive a Cadillac (i.e. you are old)
You live in Arizona (yes, I'm partial to this one, lots of idiot drivers here)

Yep! That's right, the search for the P.A.I.D. poster child is over and she's living right here in Arizona...
Now please understand that the female who is has taken the honor was quite a shock to me....I was pretty sure it was going to be a girl....but I thought for sure she would be 100 years old and blind or something like that. But no, she looks to be somewhere in her 20's and though she didn't appear to drive like she was blind, she did drive as though she was impaired...This of course was confirmed when I saw the warning sticker on her car that she had so thoughtfully placed so that there was no doubt that she was indeed, impaired:

In case you can't read that (and it is a bit tough)...it says "CRACK WHORE"....if the shoe fits....

Ahhhh.....ok, got that off my chest...And if you're wondering what makes her such a bad driver, well I can pretty much state for a fact that this stupid biatch hasn't read my page or any of the lessons on it.... ever....add to that that she never once signaled, couldn't keep in one lane for longer than 5 seconds, and she wasn't even talking on the phone! I mean at least that could be offered as an excuse for her but no...she's just the worlds most absolute shittiest driver! And lucky me that she lives here...!
Now, this is the part when all of you who fit into the "Idiot Drivers" category, take notes:
(lessons added frequently due to daily discovery of new ways people drive like sh!t)

LESSON 1
If you're illiterate, don't drive.

LESSON 2
If you've had a stroke since you last renewed your license, maybe you should reconsider getting behind the wheel.

LESSON 3
It's called the Fast Lane for a reason.

LESSON 4
If performing multi-tasks is a problem for you, then I'd limit your task intake to perhaps only changing the channel on the remote and drinking a beer at the same time. Driving requires just a few more brain cells than people like you, possess.

LESSON 5
The word of the day, "MERGING". This means that when you are getting onto the freeway, for instance, that long piece of road called the 'on ramp' is meant to be the used as the time to get up to speed with the rest of the traffic. By the time you are actually 'on' the freeway (and not the on ramp) you should already be going at least the minimum speed limit so that you don't cause the traffic already on the freeway to have to slow down to your 'on ramp' speed. This is not efficient or safe.

LESSON 6
When you are making a left turn at a light, pull forward to the middle of the intersection; Don't sit there and wait for the damn light to turn red, this too is incredibly inefficient

LESSON 7
Turning right on red (unless there are signs specifically stating not to) means that when there are no cars coming, (this includes when there are no cars coming in the right most lane even if there are cars in any of the other lanes) TURN already you f%*@$%g idiot!!

LESSON 8
Having your indicator signal on doesn't mean you can just change lanes at will. That is the first step, then you have LOOK to make sure you have room and its safe.

LESSON 9
If there is a cop who has pulled someone over and ticketing them, you don't have to stop and look and/or slow down, he's not coming after you. No, really, he's not.

LESSON 10
If there has been an accident that is not blocking any traffic, then there shouldn't be traffic. I mean really? Half the time a car is stalled on the side of the road. Is it really necessary to look at that? The ONLY time that slowing down MAY be ok is if there are injuries and other gruesome stuff to look at (you know you would want to look too so don't think I'm the only one here who is sick in the head).

LESSON 11
If you just must get in front of another driver because you think they are driving way to slow, and do everything you can to get in front of them, then when you do get in front of them....don't f^&(ing decide that this is a good time to slow down. You wanted to get ahead of them for a reason, right? Or you're just an idiot....which I'm guessing may be the case.

LESSON 12
New term for the day, 'Enabler'. Don't become one. For example, if someone has decided to make their own lane due to bad traffic, don't allow them room to cut back in. In this situation, it is the person who lets them back IN that is the problem, after all, people wouldn't do it if it never worked.

LESSON 13
If there are TWO turn lanes (in the same direction) then its probably a good idea to STAY IN THE SAME F*&^ING LANE for the duration of your turn. I.E. if you are in the right most lane, then STAY in the right most lane, don't 'cruise' over to the left lane mid-turn.

LESSON ...
PLENTY MORE TO COME I ASSURE YOU

7/9/2012 9:47:08 PM

OMG MYTWOCENTS IS MEGAN FOX!

7/9/2012 9:50:49 PM

Looks like a job for butt implants.

7/9/2012 9:53:27 PM

i thought my twocents was a dude

7/9/2012 9:54:40 PM

she is

7/9/2012 9:56:04 PM

there's a guy on OKC with the name mytwocents

makes me laugh every time I see the name

[Edited on July 9, 2012 at 10:05 PM. Reason : grammah]

7/9/2012 9:57:37 PM

Damn.

7/9/2012 9:59:48 PM

lol

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

7/9/2012 10:04:12 PM

yeah, that text was funny when I was younger. not that funny anymore but i don't care. and yeah, I get it, I don't have a big ass. MY APOLOGIES

7/9/2012 10:22:34 PM

This doctor can help: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/13/cement-butt-injections-oneal-ron-morris_n_1343167.html

7/10/2012 12:10:07 AM

Yeah. I think Imma pass on that one...

7/10/2012 12:22:23 AM

Quote :

"there's a guy on OKC with the name mytwocents"

Why do you post on the Oklahoma City Thunder forums?

7/10/2012 12:30:46 AM