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Førte
All American
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$5(.50) footlong

9/25/2014 9:30:15 PM

dmspack
very good poster
18588 Posts
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goddammit

9/26/2014 2:39:09 PM

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Yeah that place can really go ham with the meat portions.

9/26/2014 2:47:50 PM

prb185
All American
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I c what you did there. Also god damn if there's more than enough bread to go with all that stuff.

Has anyone ever been to Saigon Sandwiches in Greensboro? Had it there for lunch and lawd it was delicious. And just 3 bucks for a sandwich that would be 8 bucks at whole foods if they have a deli counter.

9/26/2014 3:55:24 PM

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Quote :
"There is nothing more unsettling than being in a strange city—or a strip mall, or a bus terminal—and getting a big whiff of the distinctly disgusting smell of a Subway sandwich shop. It is a gross and bad and terrible place. I would be thrilled if the company went under tomorrow. I hate it. I hate it so much! Its sandwiches don’t even taste good, and it makes bad jingles that get stuck in your head forever. Everything about this place is bad.

To be honest, most of my Deadspin colleagues disagree with me on this matter, but it’s okay, we’re all still friends. Not everyone can be right all of the time.

I feel very strongly about this. You see, part of the problem is that Subway masquerades as health food. It’s just not. A key part of its advertising campaign is falsely telling fat people that if they just walk to Subway for all of their meals, they will never be fat again. That doesn’t work if you’re chomping on meatball subs three times a day! I know about Jared. Everyone in America knows Jared. If I say “George,” you think “Bush.” If I say “Barbara,” you think “Walters.” And if I say “Jared,” you think “Formerly Fat Subway Jared.” He lost a fuckload of weight and gained a career shilling bad sandwiches, and he’s a big enough deal to have been lampooned on South Park. Jared is as American as baseball or the Weinermobile or the death penalty. He sucks, too.

Consider the following facts:

The meat is salty.
The meat is slimy.
The lettuce is sweaty.
The lettuce is wilted.
The type of lettuce is iceberg and terrible.
The tomatoes are mealy.
Pre-sliced tomatoes are cause for concern.
Pre-shredded lettuce are cause for concern.
Banana peppers?????????
Jalapeños sitting in their own juice for extended periods of time.
The cheese is terrible.
There aren’t even many cheese options.
The bread, too, is a problem: the biggest problem, in fact. First of all, it’s too puffy and weirdly hard on the bottom. Second, the types of bread with weird, hard Asiago cheese glued to the top are especially bad. Third, if you want a toasted sandwich, they pop the bread in a little Easy Bake Oven-type thing, and you can watch it spring into its predetermined quasi-baguette shape with extreme reliability. That’s not how bread is supposed to work. That’s how “way too many preservatives” work. The thought of all this is making my stomach upset, and I’m not even smelling the smell, which is probably caused by the bread, and in any event immediately puts me in a bad place.

Also, don’t eat their tuna sandwiches. I love meat-based sandwich salads very much, but the concept of a mass-produced tuna concoction is disturbing. Seriously, if you’re ordering a fish-centric sandwich from a fast-food establishment, you need to think deeply about your life’s trajectory.

Let’s talk about the names for these sandwiches for a second, too. Veggie Delite ®? What does the Delite® entail, and what exactly is delite-ful about it? Ooohhh, cucumbers on a springy piece of Styrofoam bread! Which forest was the Turkey Breast & Black Forest Ham sandwich harvested from? Italian B.M.T.®? Mama mia! Chicken & Bacon Ranch Melt? Connotes images of a sweaty man wearing a tank top! Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki? Fuck you! Steak & Cheese? I’m already shitting my pants.

According to their website, there are 43,837 Subways in 110 different countries. You can get dat BMT in Bahrain, home to 20 Subway restaurants. You can cop some meatballs in Malaysia, which has 190 Subways. Or you can find a spicy Italian in Suriname, where there are only three, albeit three more than Suriname should have. Luxembourg has 13, and Luxembourg is tiny. Something is wrong here. These things don’t add up. The last thing I would want if I were in Estonia (Subway count: seven), is a cold cuts sandwich that I can order an exact replica of in Sri Lanka, Slovenia, Guam, and Honduras. Sandwich meat does not transcend borders. Sandwich meat that claims to is not trustworthy. At least with McDonald’s or KFC, they’re not pretending to be healthy, and there is at least some distinct variation in the menu from country to country. Also, they don’t smell the same everywhere. That’s truly the worst part of the whole thing. Get a turkey sandwich from somewhere else. Fuck Subway."


http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/subway-sucks-1699502675

4/22/2015 7:55:47 PM

PaulISdead
All American
7000 Posts
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A project manager tried to call me out in front of a dozen people because I said I didn't want to eat subway. I told him in a cold stare I'd rather eat at the gas station but its not going to kill me. We ate at subway that day but he was forcibly retired two months later.

4/22/2015 8:03:55 PM

BlackJesus
Suspended
13089 Posts
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Hipsters itt

4/22/2015 10:16:07 PM

TreeTwista10
Laugh, Think, Cry
140507 Posts
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No doubt BJ, these snobs. Wanna go halfsies on a cup of noodles from the C-store?

4/22/2015 10:21:52 PM

BlackJesus
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Naw too rich for my blood. Lets go have a couple mcdoubles.

4/22/2015 10:23:04 PM

PaulISdead
All American
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just swap bodily fluids

4/22/2015 10:41:38 PM

goalielax
All American
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when you and gawker agree, it's time to reevaluate your life

4/22/2015 10:43:39 PM

Noen
All American
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Deadspin guy is a fucking moron.

Having eaten at Subway in many different countries, the menus are extremely region specific. Even in the US, the menus aren't fixed and can vary quite a bit in different parts of the country.

The tomatoes and lettuce are both sliced by hand in the store (along with several of the other vegetables). If either are mealy/wilted/sweaty it's a rare happening. More likely this is yet another "foodie" who doesn't actually have any clue what he eats on a day to day basis:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75b2hTl2T2E

I'm getting really tired of the stupid "anything mechanized is bad" bullshit around food. It amazes me how many people STILL do Juice fasts and "cleanses".

4/22/2015 11:25:41 PM

TreeTwista10
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Noen you lost all credibility in this thread long ago

Quote :
" I've probably eaten at several hundred different Subways around the US and in the Caribbean during my various travels, and the quality and service have been amazingly consistent."


with your have-eaten-at-several-hundred-Subways ass

4/22/2015 11:35:35 PM

Jeepin4x4
Cam Time Steamroller
35311 Posts
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Subway... still disgusting.

4/23/2015 8:41:31 AM

TKE-Teg
All American
42634 Posts
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Why the hell would someone travel all over the world...and choose Subway for some of their meals? Way to branch out.

4/23/2015 9:05:56 AM

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Quote :
"when your username is goalielax, it's time to reevaluate your life"


ftfy

Quote :
"I'm getting really tired of the stupid "anything mechanized is bad" bullshit around food. It amazes me how many people STILL do Juice fasts and "cleanses"."


Just because juice cleanses are bullshit, does not mean Subway is good. The shit tastes like cardboard. While I'll agree their average menu item is probably better for you than the average menu item at most fast food places, that still doesn't make it taste good.

I find it humorous that you stick up for shitty tasting Subway so hard ITT, and you're currently pressing that proposition by going on an exclusive Soylent powder meal replacement diet...shows you don't place much value on enjoying what you intake. I mean I get that you're "not a foodie"...I'm not one either. But that doesn't mean I don't want to enjoy what I eat.


[Edited on April 23, 2015 at 10:21 AM. Reason : ^ Valid question ]

4/23/2015 10:18:51 AM

dtownral
All American
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a tasteless, white, bland tomato is gross whether it was cut in front of me by someone using a hand crafted knife and a sandwich artist trained by a secret reclusive expert or just with a mechanical slicer. shit's gross.

4/23/2015 10:30:03 AM

bronco
All American
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Quote :
"It amazes me how many people STILL do Juice fasts and "cleanses"."


4/23/2015 11:06:12 AM

goalielax
All American
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Quote :
""when your username is goalielax, it's time to reevaluate your life""


how cute. someone is getting a little crush on me

4/23/2015 11:11:08 AM

dmspack
very good poster
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to me subway isn't great, but it's still better than mcdonalds and similar fast food. i have pretty low expecations for subway. i don't expect gourmet sandwiches from there. not sure why anybody would expect anything more than cheap sandwiches with fast food level quality from there.

i do always lol at most subway commercials for new menu items. "try our new spicy double steak and cheese with double the steak and pepper jack cheese!"...that's not a new menu item. anybody could've ordered that at any time previously. almost all of their new menu items are sandwiches that you could've ordered previously - maybe they didn't have a name on the menu, but nothing was stopping somebody from making a "turkey italian melt" or whatever before.

4/23/2015 11:59:53 AM

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Quote :
"not sure why anybody would expect anything more than cheap sandwiches with fast food level quality from there."


I doubt anyone is, but you can do far better for the same money.

4/23/2015 12:07:38 PM

JeffreyBSG
All American
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I enjoy Subway, personally, and think it tastes really good.

However, over the years I've come to realize that I have very low standards with regard to food and beer (and many other things). I used to to think everybody else was just trying to appear more sophisticated than was actually the case when they expressed horror/disgust at certain foods enjoyed, and secretly thought (for example) that Subway really tasted good. But no, not so. Other people really do find Subway disgusting, I'm just in the minority.

Having low standards is actually really convenient, it saves me money and makes it easy/cheap to procure meals. However, I think it arises from my having insensitive taste buds and a generally insensitive nature, so I probably don't enjoy really high-end shit as much as other people do. For example, I've never really enjoyed the taste of high-grade diggity-dank, although I do enjoy the more intense buzz.

4/23/2015 12:08:44 PM

Bullet
All American
24695 Posts
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They had to do something to try to improve their image:

http://www.takepart.com/article/2015/10/20/subway-antibiotic-free

10/27/2015 11:49:54 AM

beatsunc
All American
10109 Posts
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meatball sub is not that bad with some buffalo sauce up in there

10/27/2015 7:42:12 PM

PaulISdead
All American
7000 Posts
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A little over three years clean

8/31/2016 8:57:03 PM

Dentaldamn
All American
9702 Posts
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The subway near my office shutdown and is now a fancy vegan lunch spot.

9/1/2016 7:56:30 AM

PaulISdead
All American
7000 Posts
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Heard their food can cause psychoactive effects

11/18/2016 8:57:48 PM

PaulISdead
All American
7000 Posts
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnyVE1go2vs

9/8/2017 9:04:32 PM

beatsunc
All American
10109 Posts
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i heard they make the bread out of recycled yoga mats

9/9/2017 11:21:27 AM

HaLo
All American
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https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2018-04-25/subway-plans-500-u-s-store-closings-while-building-global-reach

A few hundred less subways for Noen to visit

4/28/2018 12:09:59 AM

TreeTwista10
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I've probably eaten at several hundred different Subways around the US and in the Caribbean during my various travels, and the quality and service have been amazingly consistent.

4/28/2018 1:22:21 AM

Dentaldamn
All American
9702 Posts
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The other subway near my office reopened but it’s still filled with homeless teenagers.

4/28/2018 7:50:34 AM

Kickstand
All American
9447 Posts
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Guajillo-guajillo-gu-ajillll-oo

9/5/2018 5:09:00 PM

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https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/ev7d8j/now-that-the-dollar5-footlong-is-dead-can-we-admit-that-subway-sucks

on second glance i was thinking "haven't $5 footlongs been dead for a while?"

old article, oh well. subway still sucks.

[Edited on June 10, 2019 at 10:02 PM. Reason : ]

6/10/2019 9:59:17 PM

PaulISdead
All American
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6/10/2019 10:08:30 PM

HaLo
All American
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6/18/2019 10:39:59 PM

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