sheetz in kernersville, nc. had to build a mighty birds nest and flush before the splash

12/14/2012 11:36:00 AM

every airplane ever

12/14/2012 11:42:12 AM

sheetz have surprisingly nice bathrooms

though perhaps i should have expected such, given the name of the franchise

12/14/2012 11:44:08 AM

thats why i stopped there, but it was earlier this morning and there was a ton of foot traffic coming in and out.

12/14/2012 11:46:01 AM

Squat toilets are all kinds of fun.

12/14/2012 11:47:02 AM

had to cut mine short just now

12/14/2012 11:51:32 AM

12/14/2012 12:14:45 PM

Like the back of a volkswagen?

12/14/2012 12:21:55 PM

Sheetz is not an uncomfortable place to poop

next time try a bar with no toilet seat or locking door

12/14/2012 12:24:00 PM

12/14/2012 12:26:59 PM

back in my younger days we would occasionally visit establishments of questionable taste...

I was at the Mustang Ranch in Selma and towards the middle of the night I absolutely could not hold it anymore and had to do the deed in the Mustang Ranch bathroom... Now picture this bathroom... no stalls what-so-ever... several urinals and one toilet just sitting out in the open, standing "water" covering part of the floor, etc.

Well I did it. I took the plunge. Only to realize halfway through that there was NO TOILET PAPER

I had to swallow all of my pride and convince another patron, while sitting out in the open on the toilet, to bring me a wad of paper towels. It took about 3 or 4 tries before I could convince someone to.

That was my worst-ever poop.

12/14/2012 12:30:55 PM

welp, smath wins this one

12/14/2012 12:39:13 PM

My worst poop ever was at the Gator Bowl '2003. It was 2 poops actually. We were tailgating and I had to go bad, so I hit the port-a-john. It took longer than expected, and when I opened the door there was a line of people waiting.

Flash forward to walking into the game. I had to go again so I hit the bathroom at the stadium. Only stall open was the handicap stall. I blew it up. When I opened the door, there was a guy in a wheelchair out there waiting.

12/14/2012 12:39:48 PM

if you've ever been to bonnaroo, tried to shit at night in a porta potty, while super fucked up, where a ton of other fucked up wooks have tried to shit/piss but missed, after the porta-poty has baked in the tennessee heat all day in june, with the only light to guide you being those couple of glow sticks someone has graciously thrown either in the hole or behind the seat...

you'll have a whole new world experience, and a new found desire to only ever go back if you're with people who can afford to throw in for an RV or VIP tickets.

12/14/2012 1:00:53 PM

I thought this thread was going to be about the men's bathroom at Mitch's

12/14/2012 1:04:34 PM

12/14/2012 1:05:54 PM

that actually looks very comfortable and inviting

12/14/2012 1:15:43 PM

^^ I've pissed on it, but never shit on it

12/14/2012 1:17:44 PM

Quote :

"I thought this thread was going to be about the men's bathroom at Mitch's"

good god, i pity the poor soul that has to take a dump facing the door there

12/14/2012 1:19:08 PM

that's a total power move, taking a shit confidently in front of someone is a great way to show your dominance. you should just proudly sit on the throne and then stare at the door, when someone opens it just stare at them angrily and do your business.

12/14/2012 1:20:43 PM

i mean all you would have to do is hold a newspaper...

12/14/2012 1:20:57 PM

just today I took a shit in the bathroom of a Buddhist Monastery/temple. It was in a water village I been meaning to get around to seeing since I moved here. It was a 3rd try to find a non squat toilet. There was no toilet seat but I just purelled the rim and let fly.

12/14/2012 2:08:55 PM

so did you really shit in a monestary?

1/23/2013 1:27:42 PM

In 9th grade, I finally had the room to myself and decided to catch a jack. I was in boarding school at the time, and it very rarely worked out where my roommates both had class and I didn’t, so it was imperative to take advantage of these opportunities. I fired up one of my favorites, PeterNorthChaseyLainOnCouch.avi, and started my routine. Now, when I masturbate, I like to sit with my feet on the desk and lean back. About 5-6 minutes in, I’m getting close, but last night’s stroganoff starts rearing its ugly head. It was always hot in that room, and I was getting pretty worked up, so naturally I’m sweating a little. I should also mention that I’m completely naked in my roommate’s beige computer chair, there’s a nice pool of crack sweat rapidly accumulating. I rip a few farts to test the waters, and decide it’s safe to continue. I finish shortly, and as I get up I see a faint but unmistakable brown streak about 6 inches long right on the seat of the chair. It didn’t take me long to realize that the butt sweat had combined with the first jettisons of fecal matter to permanently embed itself into the fabric. I go to relieve myself and when I come back, the roommate is inspecting the chair, and bends down to take a nice deep whiff. Pulls his head back in disgust, looks at me like WTF…I deny all knowledge. He ends up swapping it with a chair in one of the student lounges, never the wiser. I put a towel down from then on.

1/23/2013 1:49:22 PM

thats a fucking amazing story

1/23/2013 3:13:34 PM

I was imagining the other night how the men's bathroom at The Cave in Chapel Hill would be horrible to shit in.

1/23/2013 3:21:50 PM

I am lolling at a doctors office over that slave famous. Fuck you.



I will have a story later of my worse shit. It wasn't somewhere uncomfortable, but rather it was uncomfortable.

1/23/2013 3:22:41 PM

any bathroom that isn't mine, my parents', or qntmfred's is awkward for me.

1/23/2013 3:29:43 PM

lol nice fucking shit story

1/23/2013 3:30:39 PM

HEY GUYS THESE STORIES ARE PRETTY CRAPPY



LOL

1/23/2013 4:13:13 PM

Is it normal not to sit on a toilet...

mostly I pop a squat...since I was 5.

1/23/2013 4:55:19 PM

yeah if you live in the third world.

1/23/2013 5:01:37 PM

I mean I'm an american....and not an alias for esgargs

1/23/2013 5:05:43 PM

Shitting in a "toilet" in India - definitely uncomfortable. Tiny toilet and a wet slick floor. At least it wasn't one of the squat types.

1/23/2013 6:13:12 PM

what, like in the back of a volkswagon?

1/23/2013 6:19:34 PM

Not nearly as bad as some of these, but I thought it was a little weird..

So I was in the Dominican at a 5 star resort, and they have a huge window facing the rest of your room when you sit on the toilet. After the plane and everything I was ready to go but my gf was pretty much just sitting there staring at me, not even a fan or anything.. I had to ask her to go outside for a few minutes

1/23/2013 6:33:41 PM

So I'm a pretty bored, pathetic loser, and one of my chief thrills in life used to be holding in up dumps for 2+ days and then taking really huge, epic shits. Problem is, I live in a really crummy apartment and the plumbing isn't very powerful, so oftentimes when I'd poop it would clog the toilet all by itself. Then I'd have to wipe, naturally, which would increase the clogging; and then I'd just flush, wait for it to drain, and repeat over and over for the next day or two until the main blockage finally whooshed away all of a sudden.

I know I could've gotten a plunger, but I'm kind of lazy and stupid about things like that.

Anyway, one day I took a huge shit right before my gf at the time was coming over, and sure enough it clogged the toilet by itself. I was at a total loss. Eventually I had to take this cane I'd used when I'd twisted my knee, and poke at the shit over the hole until the passage was cleared. I wiped my ass and the gf showed up about 5 minutes later. I think I just washed the cane under my shower tap.

That's the only shit I remember ever taking that stood out for negative reasons, other than a couple dumps taken outside, and 2-3 rare pant-shitting occurrences.

1/23/2013 6:59:17 PM

^

1/23/2013 8:28:33 PM

^^ I've had similar situations where I've had to manipulate the contents. I generally go overboard with my first wipe; I like to get about 10-12 squares of TP and form a little pocket, then scrape along the crack. Ideally, this get the majority of the shit on the first pass, leaving subsequent wipes for the remainder. This causes most of my dumps to be two flushers at minimum and often three or sometimes as many as four depending on various factors. A few weeks back I had a really good one and filled up most of the bowl with the shit alone, but I was on my phone and distracted and proceed to do my first wipe move before I'd realized it. I flush, nothing but gurgling. I look down and its just a parfait of white, yellow and brown. I start plunging but its just so thick and viscous right now that its clearly not going to work. So finally, I turn the plunger upside down and start stirring, like a pot of stew, trying to get enough separation for the mass to disperse a bit. It starts to come unraveled and I flush again, the water now inches from the rim. It gets higher, higher, then barely starts to overflow, just the few few drops, when I see the shit start to spiral and vortex down. I sop up the mess, wash my hands, and get back on the dance floor.

1/23/2013 8:46:09 PM

I'm not willing to say why, but this thread has made me very uneasy

1/23/2013 8:54:31 PM

Quote :

"welp, smath wins this one"

1/23/2013 10:15:18 PM

1/23/2013 10:20:27 PM

Quote :

"I turn the plunger upside down and start stirring, like a pot of stew"

1/23/2013 10:27:28 PM

slavelle with TWO winners in this thread

1/23/2013 10:45:49 PM

side of I40/85 near Hillsborough. passenger door open, feet on running boards, hanging on to door handle

it was one of those that wasnt going to wait. either do it there or in my pants

1/23/2013 10:55:49 PM

Quote :

"a parfait of white, yellow and brown."

1/23/2013 10:58:07 PM

this thread has brought the lols.

1/23/2013 11:00:28 PM

ahahahaha the stirring trick is classic. never thought of that. That means you have to hold the end you just had stuck down the toilet though right???

1/24/2013 12:32:39 PM

Quote :

"Like the back of a volkswagen?"

1/24/2013 12:40:11 PM

I am very sad that I wasn't first to post

Quote :

"Like the back of a volkswagen?"

1/24/2013 12:59:35 PM