how often do your kids get up during the night after they go to bed?

I have a friend that often complains of being tired, due to having to wake up multiple times every night with his kids. his 2 1/2 year old wakes from her sleep 1-3x/night for whatever reason and cries out for him, but usually quickly falls back asleep after a back rub or milk or whatever. the 6 1/2 year old wakes him when he gets up to go to the bathroom, and then often has to be put back to sleep in his bed by the dad.

is this standard? I obviously don't remember what I did at these ages (although I do remember often dragging blankets into my parents room and going back to sleep next to their bed).

1/23/2013 1:38:46 PM

one of my kids (almost 2 years old) has been waking up crying most nights for the last couple months, just around 11-12. she cries for a few minutes and then goes back to sleep. depending on how hard/long she cries, we'll go in to rub her back, tuck her back in.

my oldest (almost 5) never went through such a regular phase of waking up in the night, but probably once every couple weeks will wake up and come into our room to tell us about it.

[Edited on January 23, 2013 at 1:46 PM. Reason : .]

1/23/2013 1:45:31 PM

I only have 1 child (2 year old) and she will wake up occasionally but 95% of the time is very soon after we put her down...not in the middle of the night. She has woken up in the middle of the night...but if she did it was because she was sick and it is very seldom. She has regularly slept through the night since about 3 months.

1/23/2013 1:47:54 PM

There is no standard for sleep with kids. Some kids will sleep 12 hours at night starting at 6 months, while others will get up once a night, every night until their 65.

I've got a 2 1/2 year old who sleep steadily for about 11-12 hours at night. We've heard him get up before, and then put himself back to sleep. Other friends have kids that get up at least once and can't get themselves back to sleep. A lot of people I know that have children older than 3 that get up during the night will create routines for the children to put themselves to sleep. Water bottle by the bed for thirst, a timer nightlight & whitenoise/music machine that's within reach of the bed or crib, and lovies (stuffed animals, blankets, etc.) to cuddle with in the bed.

Sleep and potty training are really difficult with little ones. They all get there at different times in their lives, but as parents you have very little power over that.

1/23/2013 1:50:13 PM

that's kinda what I thought (re: every kid has unique patterns/timelines on everything) but sometimes I find myself telling him "can't you come up with some technique to make them sleep through the night? or put themselves back to bed?". with this and other issues I catch myself "backseat parenting", which I'm sure is annoying and frustrating for him.

as someone without kids and limited exposure to other parenting styles, all I have to go on are the mommy blogs/articles I read, my actual childhood, and what I think *I* would do. all of which I realize are mostly irrelevant when it comes to actually parenting your own kids.

1/23/2013 2:02:07 PM

You would probably get your best answers in the "Old School" forum.

1/23/2013 2:04:54 PM

benadryl

1/23/2013 2:05:24 PM

^^^ It's called sleep-training. We went through this with my son at about 15 months and it was EXHAUSTING, and since every kids different, we had to try a whole bunch of different techniques before we finally found a way to get him to go to sleep on his own.

And stay away from mommy blogs and articles. They spread more misinformation than information.

Plus every parents is tired during the day. In your friend's case it's waking at night issues, in some cases it's behavior issues, in other's it's a short sleep schedule issue (no nap, 8 or so hours at night), in my son's case, it's keeping up with his unbridled energy.

[Edited on January 23, 2013 at 2:19 PM. Reason : ]

1/23/2013 2:18:10 PM

Our son, almost 19 months, was a terrible sleeper until 9 months old. Husband went on a trip, and I did the CIO (cry it out) method of sleep training. After three days his sleep troubles were gone and he sleeps a solid 12-13 hrs a night with a nap of 1.5 hrs just after lunch. He's usually in bed by 7/7:30 and wakes up at 7:30.

Now we had a period where he wanted to wake up for the day at 4:30-5am. He occasionally has night terrors. Some teething issues that would cause him to wake up. Some nights gas, too hot, too cold, wet the bed whatever. The other night he kept waking up bc all the rolling around turned him in to a big ball of static electricity and he was shocking himself awake depending on his cry or if he seems to be settling himself, we either do or don't go in to check on him. He also cries in his sleep, so sometimes it's just that. Minus the night terrors or wetting the bed, we just tell him to lay back down, it's not time to wake up yet, and he'll do just that. I can even do this at 6:00-6:30 am and he'll sleep til 7:30.

Waking up is pretty normal, I mean even as an adult I wake up at night. The difference being I can talk and am self sufficient. I remember waking up from bad dreams and wanting my parents at night. But especially for wee ones.

We really battled with sleep before sleep training and nights were awful. I'm glad we did it, and the CIO method really worked for us.

1/23/2013 2:33:34 PM

Mine wakes up about once per year.

1/24/2013 12:53:10 AM

sleep issues are (almost) always the parents' fault

1/24/2013 8:24:16 AM

I would agree with that.

1/24/2013 8:56:28 AM

The kids I work with during the day apparently call out at all hours of the night, and there are three of them. 2 five year olds and an almost 4 year old. They all have monitors so mom and dad can hear them. I was warned the first time I kept them at night that the twins would call me several times before falling asleep. It happened the first couple times, but I went in once for each, and now they don't call me at all. I sit with all three of them for a few minutes and make sure they have everything they need and ask them if everything is good. If they call me I tell them if they need something they can get it themselves. They all have their own bathrooms with nightlights and little cups by the sink. I know with them everything is just an excuse.

The younger one, on the other hand, only wakes up and calls when she actually needs something. Coughing or doesn't feel good mostly.

[Edited on January 24, 2013 at 9:22 AM. Reason : . ]

1/24/2013 9:18:06 AM

my girl (2 yrs old this May) wakes up 1-4 times a night. Her bed is in the room with my wife and me, so the "cry it out" method is out. I can sleep through it, my wife cannot, ha. Plus, baby is in a toddler bed and will just get up and try to climb into our bed.

I guess the secret would be to put her in her own room.. but we couldn't make ourselves do it the last time

Putting her back to bed is usually pretty easy. Give her a pacifier and her teddy bear and lay her sideways. Sometimes we have to do it a couple times because she'll jump out of bed as soon as you lay back down.

[Edited on January 24, 2013 at 8:48 PM. Reason : ]

1/24/2013 8:46:53 PM

Quote :

" his 2 1/2 year old wakes from her sleep 1-3x/night for whatever reason and cries out for him"

Thanks Obama

1/24/2013 8:52:35 PM

Haha

1/24/2013 9:10:41 PM

My father would have cussed me if I woke him up at 3-4 years old and let me figure out how to put my ass back in bed. My mother would have been a pain in the ass

1/24/2013 9:16:31 PM

Quote :

"I guess the secret would be to put her in her own room.. but we couldn't make ourselves do it the last time"

i had to read this 3 times for it to sink in

whoa

1/24/2013 9:26:28 PM

Mine are great about sleeping all night. Have been for many years. They usually go to bed at 8 and don't wake up until 6 or later. They are even sharing a room and have bunk beds and don't wake each other. In fact my oldest puked during the night a few months ago when he was still on the top bunk and somehow just fell right back to sleep. It never woke his little brother under him either, who didn't even notice when he got up and came in the living room.

I gotta say whoever made the comment about sleeping problems being a parent issue is right in 99% of the situations as the OP mentioned. My boss constantly comes in tired because their littlest (a year younger than my youngest) is up all night and shit. Sickness aside I can't remember the last time they just woke me up in the middle of night. I can't even get them to wake up early on Christmas morning. There mom does that!

[Edited on January 24, 2013 at 9:30 PM. Reason : ]

1/24/2013 9:28:25 PM

Both the five year old and the eighteen month old are great sleepers. With a minimal amount of fuss, we're able to get them both into bed and on their way to sleep between 8 and 9 o'clock. Until recently, the baby would wake up once around midnight for another bottle, but would go right on to sleep. Silas sleeps like the dead until 4 or 5 o'clock in the morning. Then he's ready to start his day. It doesn't matter how late we push his bed time, his biological clock is to get up with the chickens. He's always allowed to crawl into bed with us if he thinks he'll go back to sleep. We've worked around our early riser by setting things up so that he can get dressed, get his own breakfast, and find something to keep him quietly busy without much guidance from mom & dad. He's generally successful and we're able to eek out those two more hours of sleep. But on his wild days, he's got the baby up, let the dog out, and decided to eat nothing but junk food all while trying to build something impossibly messy out of Legos. Those are the days that we're just haggard from having to cut our night short to accommodate Silas's boundless early morning rampage.

1/24/2013 11:10:52 PM

I think I might have cursed myself by posting in this thread. 2 nights ago our son woke up screaming in the middle of the night and we had to go in to calm him down and get him back to sleep. We thought it might have been a rare bad dream until last night.

He went down at 8:30 as usual, but woke up crying twice before we were in bed. The second time he was so inconsolable that my wife brought him downstairs to calm him down by playing on the couch with us while we watched TV. We started to pepper him with questions, did you have a bad dream? No. Does your mouth hurt? (Teething) no. Does you tummy hurt? No. We finally gave up and chalked it up to bad dreams or indigestion that had since passed. Then out of nowhere about 5 minutes later he says "ear, hurt"
A damn ear infection, and since its 11 at night we can only give him children's Advil and send him back to bed. It turned into the worst night of sleep ever. He woke up in pain every hour until 5 am. I got NO sleep until that point.
Thanks TWW I blame you.

[Edited on January 25, 2013 at 9:14 AM. Reason : I'm on my IPhone.]

1/25/2013 9:13:59 AM

LOL yeah that's how it goes

Ours has been waking up often...I can't decide if it's teeth, this diaper rash on his balls, or just wanting one of us. He's walking around with his mouth open which makes me think teeth. 2nd molars or his cuspids. His teeth have come in a weird order...still doesnt have all of his cuspids, but he has his first molars.

[Edited on January 25, 2013 at 9:52 AM. Reason : ]

1/25/2013 9:51:24 AM

X2

it's too late now, but next time try snuggling with your little one holding a warm washcloth or pack over the painful ear. whenever my kids or i have an ear infection that helps comfort and ease the pain.

1/25/2013 11:12:18 AM