Quote :

"Reported Offense: At 3:36 pm this afternoon, a female student reported an incident that occurred at 4:20 am on this date (3/20/13). The incident occurred on the 3rd floor of Tucker Residence Hall. An unidentified person (unknown race, unknown sex) entered the unlocked and open door of her room, took a sip of water and left. There was no communication, threats or otherwise, and no items were taken. No one was injured during the incident, and there was no physical contact between the suspect and victim."

3/20/2013 5:25:35 PM

dude was thirsty

3/20/2013 5:26:44 PM

Hahah. Was just about to post this same thing.

3/20/2013 5:26:48 PM

haha obvious dude high as fuck with cotton mouth

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

3/20/2013 5:28:11 PM

Bet it wasn't a sip, more like a gulp gulp chug followed by an AHHHH of refreshment

3/20/2013 5:30:16 PM

I can always tell whether an "AHHHHHH" is a dude or chick in the dark

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

3/20/2013 5:31:09 PM

Most likely the girl just hallucinated/dreamt the whole thing.

3/20/2013 5:32:24 PM

I like how she waited 11 hours

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

3/20/2013 5:33:17 PM

(unknown race, unknown sex)

3/20/2013 5:36:26 PM

Haha I was going to post this too.

First thing I thought after I read this: 4:20 am, reported at 3:36 pm? Why did she have to wait so long to report the incident? She had to wait for the drugs to wear off. Case closed.

3/20/2013 5:43:51 PM

Thank God this didn't happen at UNC

3/20/2013 5:45:33 PM

why was her door open at 4:20 am?

3/20/2013 5:45:41 PM

Can you provide a link? I used to love reading the NCSU police blotter but can't remember where it is.

3/20/2013 5:46:41 PM

Quote :

"why was her door open at 4:20 am?"

You have already answered this question

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

3/20/2013 5:47:23 PM

Standing by for all the emails about copycat criminals.

This "crime" is ripe for parody.

3/20/2013 5:50:11 PM

bah, I can beat this. One night I was living in an apartment with 3 other roommates my Senior year at State in U-Village. There was a party going on in another unit not far from ours. One of my roommates came home from work(bartender) at like 1 AM that night and forgot to lock the door back. About 3 AM, I am awoken to something hitting my door. I grab one of my golf clubs, open my door and there is this drunk as hell, almost passed out dude sitting on our couch, mumbling "Pussy, F*** that fat pussy" over and over again. I continuously ask him who he is and where his people are but hes passed out. I grab his phone and noticed like 5 missed calls, so I call the number and tell them they need to come get their person from my apartment, I grab him by the shirt and drag him to my door, open it, sit him outside on the ground and wait for his people to get him.

Also, another time, it was raining like a monsoon outside and there was a knock on our back door. It was a girl, who happened to be a freshman(we were juniors at the time) that was at a party, got lost from her group(i don't know how, but she was drunk, so...yeah) and came to our door because our light was on. She came in, asked for a towel to dry off, sat down and started talking to us. She then saw my roommates wii and asked if we could play some games, lol. She ended up calling her friends, who wouldn't come pick her up(we told her to get some new friends), and my roommate ended up driving her back home. I felt bad for her.

3/20/2013 5:51:27 PM

Quote :

"his people"

3/20/2013 5:53:30 PM

when we thirsty, we drink

3/20/2013 6:27:01 PM

Quote :

"4:20 am"

case closed

3/20/2013 6:58:23 PM

Oh oh. I've got one.

One night in the first dorm I lived in, I was suitemates with my RA who would buy us alcohol sometimes, I got him to buy me a jug of Carlo Rossi. After drinking the whole thing in another suite down the hall(102), I stumble back to my room (106) to pass out. But first I need to puke so I go to the bathroom and end up passing out with my head on the toilet seat, which is the last thing I remember before the thing happened.

When I wake up... I am in my RA's room, door closed, in his bed next to his girlfriend who is being spooned by him, under the covers, fully clothed. About the time they wake up, I am waking up. I vaguely remember having a dream about being in the wrong bed in another suite. So as I'm waking up to them saying "CHRIS WTF" I suddenly jump out of bed , ask them WHERE IS MY HAT, then run out of the suite, read the number on the door and yell "THIS IS 106!" then stumble back to my bed and pass out. The next morning I wake up to tell them about this crazy dream I had, only to find out it actually happened.

What I could never figure out was, how the fuck did I get in there? I don't remember even leaving the bathroom. And we all woke up at the same time. WTF. Still confuses me after 7 years

3/20/2013 7:14:57 PM

420 420 420

3/20/2013 7:15:47 PM

3/20/2013 8:07:26 PM

Nothing will top the guy beating off on shoes in the DH Hill library.

3/20/2013 8:22:14 PM

hahaha what?!

3/20/2013 8:54:13 PM

He said

Quote :

"Nothing will top the guy beating off on shoes in the DH Hill library."

3/20/2013 9:07:09 PM

^^^Wasnt that same guy reported a week later on campus giving "foot surveys" to chicks. He like took off their shoes and rubbed girls feet in his crotch as they ran away screaming presumably.

The beating off on shoes happened a few times IIRC. The guy hid under tables at the library. Chicks studying, hears something weird under the table, and guy was jerking off on their shoes.

[Edited on March 20, 2013 at 9:12 PM. Reason : aa]

3/20/2013 9:09:03 PM

That's great.

3/20/2013 9:10:01 PM

none of these stories are anything like the story quoted in the first post

3/20/2013 9:11:34 PM

Dude, a motherfucker has got to drank

3/20/2013 9:40:20 PM

Only on TWW would a thread be filled with one-uppers when the humour of the topic derives from the underwhelming nature of the story.

Quote :

"EPIC MISSING THE POINT AND LOLLING NOBODY ALL AT THE SAME TIME"

3/20/2013 9:57:52 PM

Only on TWW the Internet would a thread be filled with one-uppers when the humour of the topic derives from the underwhelming nature of the story.

3/20/2013 9:59:19 PM

3/20/2013 10:05:18 PM

Well, I guess you're right.

3/20/2013 10:07:01 PM

I'm gonna whip that guy's ass

3/20/2013 10:07:36 PM

Some guy's goin' around sippin' water, makin' Tucker Hall look like a jackass!

3/20/2013 10:11:03 PM

wait a sec

are those cans of busch NA?


stone cold is a pussy?

3/20/2013 10:13:03 PM

3/20/2013 10:14:10 PM

Quote :

"LOOK LIKE A JACKASS"

3/20/2013 10:14:33 PM

lol @ Busch NA

3/20/2013 10:19:10 PM

WELL THIS ONE TIME A GUY CAME IN MY HOUSE AND RAPED ME AND I DIED

3/20/2013 10:26:14 PM

When I was stationed in Korea I was asleep one night when all of the sudden BAM! I wake up to see a girl I'd never met before laying in my bed beside me, she was shitfaced and had her pants half unbuttoned. My roommate who was still awake on his computer looked at me and asked, "dude, do you need me to go somewhere for a little while" to which I replied "uhhh, I don't fucking know this girl".

We tried to talk to her and figure out what room she was supposed to be in but she couldn't even tell us her name at that point. My roommate let her sleep it off on his bed while he slept on the floor. The next morning we found her military ID in her wallet that she apparently dropped on the way in and walked the halls until we figured out what room she lived in. Then we had her roommate come and wake her up so she wouldn't freak out about waking up in some strange guys room.

The funniest part was when she sent us what essentially amounted to a "thanks for not raping me Christmas card"

3/20/2013 11:34:16 PM

The thirsty bandit strikes again!

3/20/2013 11:36:57 PM

to tie together the manatee post with the stone cold posts

3/20/2013 11:39:39 PM

That is incredible.

[Edited on March 20, 2013 at 11:47 PM. Reason : beyond incredible.]

3/20/2013 11:45:21 PM

justin credible

9/30/2013 10:35:54 PM

A prime example of a thread from the Attitude Obnoxious Era.

9/30/2013 10:43:41 PM

Austin had Busch NA because someone threw him beers from the Rock's cooler.

That sounds like a joke, but isn't.

10/1/2013 3:07:14 AM

wit a lil Busch NA
wit a lil whippin' ass

10/5/2013 1:05:05 AM