Why are you/are you not married? Or why do you/do you not want to get married?

Inspired by this post, which I find pretty repulsive:

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/1ndgvo/is_there_really_any_reason_in_2013_for_young_men/cchlwil

9/30/2013 11:17:47 AM

i've been married for 3 years

i like it

9/30/2013 11:19:39 AM

i was gonna come in here and troll, but no one has posted yet

so, ill be back later

9/30/2013 11:19:44 AM

what's wrong with that statement? i think comparing it to a business merger is a pretty good comparison.

or do you find the part where they say "that's why guys freak out" repulsive, because that statement doesn't make any sense at all?

9/30/2013 11:20:59 AM

yeah I don't see a problem with it

9/30/2013 11:26:07 AM

i'm not married because nobody loves me.

9/30/2013 11:26:42 AM

^^,^^^
well the idea of binding yourself to someone via government contract is cold to me to begin with. but comparing it to a business relationship further reduces love to a set of analyses. in my mind, if you love someone enough to marry them, these types of questions should have come up and answered themselves naturally.

but it depends on why you're getting married, which is why i asked

[Edited on September 30, 2013 at 11:36 AM. Reason : .]

9/30/2013 11:32:18 AM

It becomes a business arrangement when the first conversation after a no-prenup divorce is "let's talk about how much of my husband's money i'm getting"

9/30/2013 11:34:31 AM

but what is love?

9/30/2013 11:36:44 AM

I used to hate the idea of marriage but I embrace it now

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

9/30/2013 11:41:50 AM

you can lovingly commit yourself to someone for the rest of your life because of love without involving the government

when you get legally married there should be a logical justification for why you are entering a government-observed contract, those reasons should be logical and not emotional

9/30/2013 11:42:48 AM

9/30/2013 11:43:49 AM

^^Cool, just tell that to your insurance company.

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

9/30/2013 11:44:32 AM

insurance is a logical reason, not an emotional one

9/30/2013 11:44:55 AM

government benefits = logical

your partner's character traits = emotional

9/30/2013 11:50:59 AM

Why is it a big deal? You keep your marriage of the books. :^)

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

9/30/2013 11:51:02 AM

^^ so if marriage is only about love, then why involve the government. if its about logical reasons too, then the business merger comparison is a pretty good one.

9/30/2013 11:52:49 AM

Marriage is about the merging all aspects of your life. Including the tax man.

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

9/30/2013 11:54:29 AM

Quote :

"so if marriage is only about love, then why involve the government."

i agree

Quote :

"if its about logical reasons too, then the business merger comparison is a pretty good one."

i don't agree here, because business relationships are relatively emotionless. the question is always "what's in it for me". even if you're getting married for purely logical reasons (tax, insurance, etc), those things aren't the driving force in your relationship. the link i posted goes into a long list of questions which i think fall into the emotional category (roles and responsibilities, personality traits, etc)

again it depends on your reasons for entering marriage. ex: some people only get married to have kids, in which case the business relationship makes sense

[Edited on September 30, 2013 at 12:03 PM. Reason : .]

9/30/2013 12:03:24 PM

It's about having a bad-ass party as well.

9/30/2013 12:04:05 PM

Why do I even need to be a legal guardian? Its just about raising the child right? Why get the govt involved?

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

9/30/2013 12:04:13 PM

^^^go read his description of the business merger again, it included things like making sure you have the same values, goals and trust, it wasn't only about money. that's a pretty good comparison to me, especially when marriage is often the precursor to eventually raising children together, but its a good comparison even without children

[Edited on September 30, 2013 at 12:06 PM. Reason : ^^^]

9/30/2013 12:05:31 PM

our relationship is about love and similar goals and aspirations in life, but there are still societal benefits to being married. We don't need the government involvement to be happy together in our relationship but we also had no real answers to the question "why not get married and take advantage of the benefits of being married if and when we need to."

[Edited on September 30, 2013 at 12:08 PM. Reason : ]

9/30/2013 12:08:27 PM

i got married so i can play with boobies every day

9/30/2013 1:51:50 PM

Marriage doesn't work in the world today. It's an institution that is in decay.

9/30/2013 1:57:50 PM

holy matrimony is not for me, I'd rather die alone in misery

9/30/2013 2:02:50 PM

Here, have a heaping helping of misogyny: http://www.nomarriage.com/
Also consider this ("Why I Will NEVER Marry an American Woman"): http://www.the-niceguy.com/articles/MarryAmerican.html
and an old Netscape article: http://channels.isp.netscape.com/love/package.jsp?name=fte/nevermarry/nevermarry

9/30/2013 2:35:01 PM

http://www.the-niceguy.com

lol

[Edited on September 30, 2013 at 2:36 PM. Reason : .]

9/30/2013 2:36:34 PM

No reason to get married if all you want to do is live together and bang in 2013 IMHO.

Marriage is for starting a family, sharing assets (current + future), and having a partner in all aspects of life (issues at home, financial issues, legal issues, health issues, etc.) Living together is a business agreement that can benefit both parties. Being married should be a business + emotional agreement where both parties are willing to make sacrifices for the benefit of the union between themselves and their partner IMO. It's when both people stop thinking of what's best for me, him, or her and start thinking of what's best for "us".

That's my theory at least. I'm single though, so take it for what it's worth.

[Edited on September 30, 2013 at 2:39 PM. Reason : s]

9/30/2013 2:37:49 PM

Marriage is a useful method for identifying which of your stupid single friends have stupid ideas about relationships.

9/30/2013 2:38:47 PM

Thanks Froshkiller.

[Edited on September 30, 2013 at 2:41 PM. Reason : l]

9/30/2013 2:41:09 PM

My hatred for the institution of marriage is outweighed by my love for my fiancee :^)

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

9/30/2013 2:42:46 PM

where is aaronburro to give us his paper towel vs. napkin explanation of marriage?

9/30/2013 2:47:30 PM

I agree with the previous posters that marrying someone is as much logical as it is emotional. You commit out of love; you marry out for various societal benefits from taxes to next-of-kin status.

I disagree that business relationships are relatively emotionless. Part of what makes many businesses successful is contribution and work toward a common goal.

9/30/2013 3:13:37 PM

Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.

9/30/2013 3:45:33 PM

Who wants to get married?

9/30/2013 3:54:00 PM

Quote :

"What is marriage to you"

Quote :

"The Wolf Web is an online community designed for NCSU students to congregate, communicate, and generally vegetate."

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

9/30/2013 3:56:30 PM

Quote :

"The Wolf Web is an online community, consisting mainly of men, designed for NCSU students to congregate, communicate, and generally vegetate."

9/30/2013 3:58:24 PM

I'll report back in 11 days!

10/1/2013 1:33:39 PM

a contract to make children.

10/1/2013 1:36:22 PM

has nothing to do with children or God

everything to do with a social and legal contract

love too, for sure

10/1/2013 1:54:34 PM