Hey guys, its your boy EMCE again. I'm having dong issues. This morning after taking my normal morning piss, I noticed that my pee hole just stayed "open".

It doesn't hurt or anything. Its just wtf?! Never had this happen before. Its always automatically closed back up. Just took a piss a few minutes ago, and it was still "open".


Help, wtf do I do?

12/9/2013 1:46:37 PM

don't use shampoo as a lubricant

12/9/2013 1:51:12 PM

you been beatin it too much brah

12/9/2013 1:53:40 PM

My joints all like (\/)

12/9/2013 2:25:16 PM

are there sounds issuing forth from it?

12/9/2013 2:25:57 PM

did you try lightly pinching it close with your fingers? does it pop back open if you do?

12/9/2013 2:33:31 PM

I told you to quit putting things in there.

12/9/2013 2:34:35 PM

Be sure to tuck it into the band of your underwear to hold it upright so you don't inadvertently leak any pee on your pants.

12/9/2013 2:38:27 PM

Yeah, pinching it closed was the first thing I tried. It just rebounded.


Do women get grossed out by this kind of thing? Im not trying to be the talk of the female lockerroom, calling me "Johnny OpenDick"

12/9/2013 2:40:13 PM

Some women will put their tongue ring in it.

12/9/2013 2:42:08 PM

omg, no

Do I....hit them?

12/9/2013 2:44:24 PM

Yeah. I got cock slapped for it.

12/9/2013 2:44:59 PM

ambrosia1231 put ginger in one before. And a butthole too if I remember correctly.

12/9/2013 2:46:39 PM

I saw some girl in a porno do it so I thought. .. Well I was wrong. Very wrong.

12/9/2013 2:47:42 PM

fuck


Ok, I need to get this thing closed back up immediately. HALP!

12/9/2013 2:52:18 PM

Super glue...or maybe duct tape

12/9/2013 3:00:46 PM

Maybe a little fake mustache to cover it?

12/9/2013 3:02:46 PM

is it dry in there?

Quote :

" Do women get grossed out by this kind of thing?"

nah sometimes if I'm bored and there's a penis in front of me I'll open and close it and pretend it's saying hello.

12/9/2013 3:13:38 PM

Minka I think you're my soul sister.

12/9/2013 3:23:09 PM

12/9/2013 3:24:03 PM

Only one thing to do.

Amputate.

12/9/2013 3:34:26 PM

you women are crazy!

12/9/2013 6:09:34 PM

update?

i hope a fly didn't fly up in there or anything.

12/9/2013 6:11:04 PM

It's still "open"

I searched on WebMD, with no meaningful results

Still no pain, but I am increasingly worried that lint will get in there

More than anything, I'm just worried and concerned.

12/9/2013 6:25:14 PM

i thought i told you about this, jeff.. youve got to stop using rubbers

12/9/2013 6:38:44 PM

lol , but webMD could be cancer .. better start chemo soon

12/9/2013 6:39:44 PM

Hard or soft? Difference when hard?

12/9/2013 6:40:55 PM

nothing a little spitpolishing wouldn't fix

12/9/2013 9:22:36 PM

big urethra problems

12/9/2013 9:58:53 PM

lol your dick is broken now no one will ever love you

12/9/2013 10:00:24 PM

judging by the username....it's probably overused

12/9/2013 10:03:28 PM

12/9/2013 10:11:14 PM

12/9/2013 10:39:25 PM

cyanoacrylate should do the trick.

12/10/2013 1:20:47 AM

Feed the damn thing already

12/10/2013 1:32:02 AM

Stick some googly eyes on there. He'll be all

12/10/2013 5:36:26 AM

Quote :

"Still no pain, but I am increasingly worried that lint will get in there"

Or anything, for that matter. YIL that guys can get UTIs as well, and that's something you want to try to avoid

Also ^ HAHAAHHAHAHAHA

12/10/2013 8:42:20 AM

Update: when I awoke this morning and went to the bathroom, everything was back to normal. My pee hole had closed. I'm very relieved, emotionally. Yet, I would like to keep this from happening in the future.

12/10/2013 8:44:36 AM

i'm glad you're ok.

i was praying for your peehole.

12/10/2013 4:45:25 PM

We're getting old, bro. Make sure to give it an extra shake before you tuck it back down your pants leg.

Speaking of which, do you tuck it down the right leg or the left? I prefer the right.

12/10/2013 4:50:25 PM

^^.


^. Left

12/10/2013 4:53:08 PM

Dude your dick is just trying to shed it's summer coat....chill

12/10/2013 8:33:45 PM

Quote :

" Stick some googly eyes on there."

Hahaha

12/10/2013 10:50:35 PM

Whenever I see this thread, all I can think is "Ugh, did it get stuck in a zipper again?" Was that you or someone else?
Either way, I'm glad your wiener problems are coming to a close.



That pun was not intentional, I promise.

12/10/2013 10:58:50 PM

That was me. That was also every other man at some point in their life

12/11/2013 7:15:41 AM

If you're having weiner problems, I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems and a weiner ain't one

okay, I've been looking at this thread for the past 3 days and dying to post something to this effect
now I am satisfied
carry on

12/11/2013 9:11:34 PM

Just throw it down flip it and reverse it.

12/11/2013 9:33:04 PM

HALP! Something went terribly wrong earlier.

When I woke up this morning, I had an erection, which happens from time to time. but this time was different.... only the left half of my joint was erect. I've never seen or felt this before, and I'm a little scared

my knot was all messed up

[Edited on January 8, 2015 at 8:59 AM. Reason : x]

1/8/2015 8:59:07 AM

Still trying to fathom the mechanics of what was just described.

See a doctor.

/thread

1/8/2015 9:09:10 AM

RIP 1/2 miniEMCE

1/8/2015 9:30:09 AM