So my aunt wants me to come to her house and dig up a few trees for her. I think they're about twelve feet high and of the evergreen variety. She wants to roots out as well. I've dug up trees with shovels before and it's a real mother fucker.

Im thinking of pulling them out of the ground using a vehicle. Only problem is, I don't have a tow hitch on my car. Would it be OK to tie one end of the rope around my rear axle, the other around the tree and pull it out like so? Obviously I don't want to damage my ride. Thoughts?

12/11/2013 1:45:35 AM

Dude just rent a truck from Lowes/HD for $20/hour or whatever it is to do the heavy lifting

12/11/2013 1:52:11 AM

Tie it to the exhaust pipe in front of the muffler

12/11/2013 2:02:30 AM

Do not fucking try to do that shit with your car

12/11/2013 2:02:43 AM

^3. You're a genius.

12/11/2013 2:28:53 AM

Although I still like to think my old 82 Benz wagon could rock it out.

12/11/2013 2:29:45 AM

They rent bobcats

lots of fun to be had.

12/11/2013 2:45:23 AM

every 18yr old that ever dove a car and worked some land at the same time has thought of that.

you're just going to do it anyway so why ask.

when you find out it don't work:

there is an axe looking thing called a Maul. it is for chopping stumps and roots.

shop-vac (a real one, not that shit from lowes-depot) > shovel if u can has electricity

12/11/2013 4:21:07 AM

Make sure to take lots of picture, and preferably a couple of videos. Make sure to hold your phone sideways so when "Dumbass tears off the back side of his car trying to remove trees" goes viral on youtube, we don't have to put up with half of the comments whining about VVS.

12/11/2013 5:56:40 AM

chainsaw and a stump grinder would be the path of least resistance

12/11/2013 6:47:02 AM

Chainsaw and dynamite is the only way to go.

12/11/2013 7:29:30 AM

Rent a truck like that one dude said. I tried to pull up a 6-ft mimosa plant one time and it was a real bitch with a V6 under the hood.

12/11/2013 7:38:22 AM

12/11/2013 10:25:28 AM

roots are really strong AND springy. even the momentum and resultant impulse force you can build up by gunning it for 6 feet in a car isn't going to be able to budge even a small stump.

can u imagine how much force just the wind puts on those roots every day?

most of the problem is in the flexibility of the materials you'll end up using. it's the same principle behind bungee cord except in this example the effect is working against you.

lucky for you, it's also why you'll probably not damage your vehicle: except when the tow strap goes taut and rips off your muffler or something.

btw 3rd derivative is called a "jerk" lol

12/11/2013 12:39:55 PM

Quote :

"chainsaw and a stump grinder would be the path of least resistance"

^ THIS!!

12/11/2013 1:34:08 PM

The aunt wants the roots gone too, that won't get it with a chainsaw and grinder.

12/11/2013 1:44:45 PM

Tie the rope to your bumper, trunk, or engine bay cover.

Seriously, what could go wrong!

12/11/2013 1:49:53 PM

So the car/rope idea is out.

Lets move on the the truck/chain idea. Do you guys think its likely that a 4x4 could pull a small tree out of the ground? Appreciate all the input thus far.

[Edited on December 11, 2013 at 1:58 PM. Reason : .]

12/11/2013 1:54:47 PM

I've seen it tried once, at a beach house in Salter Path, to a ~4' tall shrub in the sand, with a full size Chevy pickup truck.

It didn't work.

12/11/2013 2:09:51 PM

^ did it not work because the rope/chain wouldn't stay attached to the shrub or because the truck couldn't pull it out?

12/11/2013 2:17:41 PM

I'm really hoping I don't have to go old fashion on those fuckers. Digging/cutting out roots is the worse.

12/11/2013 2:20:17 PM

^^ Probably the latter.

And holy shit I just noticed the part about the trees being 12 feet? What variety? I'm not thinking a truck is gonna get the job done here

12/11/2013 2:23:18 PM

USE A MAUL. it's like a mix between a sledgehammer and an axe.

break off ALL the roots THEN AND ONLY THEN you may drag the stump out of the hole with a rope and vehicle.

ALSO MEXICANS. hire you some mexicans, mane. that's what they're there for. why the fuck you think they CAME there???

12/11/2013 2:32:34 PM

Best advice I can give you is to dig out as much of the dirt around the roots as you can.....then get a waterhose and soak the everliving fuck out of the ground for about 45 minutes. No lie.

Once the ground is beyond soggy, you MIGHT have a chance of pulling them out with the truck. Or pushing the tree over by hand. I actually did this a few months ago in my backyard. Tree was about 15' tall. I will say that the hose/mud made a ridiculous mess, so beware. But it worked. Worked well too.

You could also burn the roots out...but that's a whole issue in itself.

And if none of these options work, hit up your local Lowes or Home Depot first thing in the morning and ask for what they call their "Garden Variety Mexican". You can typically find it sitting on the curb outside. May or may not be asleep and/or splitting a 12pack of Bud with his amigos.

[Edited on December 11, 2013 at 3:38 PM. Reason : .]

12/11/2013 3:32:37 PM

Quit being a city boy and go out there and start digging/chopping on them roots. Then you can try to pull them out with at least a 1-ton truck.

12/11/2013 5:53:10 PM

12/11/2013 6:13:56 PM

you're still going to need to dig a hole on the front side of the tree, even if you do pull them up with a truck. The root ball needs somewhere to dislodge to.

You should also consider buying a snatch strap to pull the tree out with. Get one with fabric loops on each end and not one with hooks; the hooks can come flying off and bust out your windshield or your skull if they come loose.

Quote :

"USE A MAUL. it's like a mix between a sledgehammer and an axe. "

a maul is for splitting wood. He needs a pickaxe.

12/11/2013 6:21:58 PM

You know.. the old guard of Chit Chat would have just let this happen. Offered contrite encouragement, and just let this happen.


Sigh. This is why we can't have nice things videos of our people doing dumb shit.

12/11/2013 6:22:00 PM

Ok...new question

Good idea///bad idea

buying a stripper pole for my house off craigslist.

12/11/2013 8:13:07 PM

Your house or the stripper pole is from craigslist?

12/11/2013 8:14:43 PM

ok a WEDGE is that thing you put down then whack with a sledge hammer to split wood.

a MAUL is like an axe but heavier and has a narrower flat head. (ideally with a hoe on the other end)

a PICKAXE narrows to a single point for maximum pressure. (for chipping away at rigid hard material)

he needs the middle one

inb4 HOE OTHER END

12/13/2013 3:49:09 AM

Frying bacon without a shirt on. Bad idea.

12/15/2013 9:45:42 AM

This:

is a maul

and it's used for splitting wood.

I have no idea what the hell you're talking about with a narrower flat head and a hoe end.

A pickaxe usually has one end that is a pick end and the other with an end that looks like an adz.

This is a pickaxe:


[Edited on December 15, 2013 at 10:05 AM. Reason : fgdfgdf]

12/15/2013 10:02:40 AM

Can you post bigger pics? I don't think those show enough detail.

12/15/2013 10:05:04 AM

Yeah, sorry about that. I was in the process when you posted. Didn't realize that northern tool had a 2000x2000 jpeg for their maul. Seems a bit unnecessary.

12/15/2013 10:06:35 AM

^^^ hoe on the other end is a mattock





[Edited on December 15, 2013 at 12:04 PM. Reason : .]

12/15/2013 12:03:06 PM

lmao

12/15/2013 3:34:25 PM

yes!! that true temper thing is what i was trying to recommend.

12/17/2013 1:01:27 PM

From experience it won't work. As others have said, chainsaw plus breaker bar plus shovel is as easy as it will get.

Chainsaw the roots around the stump, dig a hole in front, use the breaker to snap all the little shit left and wedge the root ball out. Then bring in the truck and strap to pull it out

12/17/2013 1:07:53 PM

fire

12/17/2013 1:28:43 PM

haha no way in hell i put my chainsaw in the dirt

12/17/2013 8:14:12 PM

^.

rent a damn stump grinder. will make quick work of it.

12/17/2013 8:17:32 PM

holy fuck. just pay some trashy hilljack with a stump grinder. they'll do it for ~$40. just tell them to go wide and get all the roots. hell, they're usually riding around and knocking on doors when they see a stump in the yard.

do not stick a chainsaw in the dirt.

12/17/2013 8:43:55 PM

That will rip your axle off, if you do that.

12/17/2013 10:07:39 PM