1) before you go to the lobby for breakfast, take a gotdamn shower. nobody wants to see your dirty ass, wearing your pajamas, hair all nasty, scratching your ass then touching the tongs

3/24/2014 1:47:47 PM

don't get a room on a high floor if you and your stupid kids are going to be stomping around at all hours of the night keeping the people in the room below yours awake

3/24/2014 1:49:09 PM

3) don't shit in the shower

3/24/2014 1:51:03 PM

Quote :

"1) before you go to the lobby for breakfast, take a gotdamn shower. nobody wants to see your dirty ass, wearing your pajamas, hair all nasty, scratching your ass then touching the tongs"

Minus the ass scratching, I do this.

3/24/2014 1:52:22 PM

can i just put on clothes and a hat and wash my hands and go down for breakfast, and make sure to refrain from scratching my ass? i sometimes don't shower in the morning when i'm on vacation. or i wait until after breakfast.

[Edited on March 24, 2014 at 1:55 PM. Reason : ]

3/24/2014 1:54:43 PM

3/24/2014 2:36:32 PM

Quote :

"i wait until after breakfast."

Ditto. Breakfast ends too early for people on vaca.

3/24/2014 2:42:51 PM

pick up your trash before you leave. it doesn't take that much time/effort, and I think leaving a room a complete disaster with half-eaten food and condom wrappers strewn around the room is just a big "fuck you" to the housekeeper that comes in after you.

3/24/2014 2:43:49 PM

Refrain from calling room service and ordering food with instructions to just open the door and come in, if your plan is to be standing on the bed with a plastic bag over your head....'batin.

3/24/2014 2:44:09 PM

I refuse to eat breakfast at hotels. I used to be on the road 4/5 nights a week for 7 years.

About a year into being on the road, all the hotels had the same nasty liquid eggs and fat sausages.

I'd find a little breakfast place in the area.

3/24/2014 4:31:24 PM

sounds rough

3/24/2014 8:45:12 PM

I don't mind Embassy Suites but a lot of time the free breakfast does suck.

3/25/2014 9:19:11 AM

if your truck is so big it need 2 spaces, park in the back, not right next to the door

do not fill up 2 large coolers from the ice machine, other people want ice too

do not play the TV loud as fuck at 2 in the morning

when the bar opens at 5, you dont have to push through the crowd to get to it quickly (admit it, youre an alcoholic)

when your scantly clad 16 year old jail bait little girl is out by the pool, dont get mad it me for looking, make them change or admit you failed as a parent

when im doing an expense report in the business center, dont stand behind me and look at your watch every 5 seconds

dont go get ice in your boxers or other undergarments (note: if you are female, 18-35, and in shape this doesn't apply to you)

finally, dont sit out in the lobby on your cellphone acting like you are important, I have important calls too, I take them: in my room.

3/25/2014 9:45:35 AM

Quote :

"when im doing an expense report in the business center"

do you not bring your laptop with you when traveling for business??

3/25/2014 10:26:10 PM

yeah, but I generally go into the business center to print it out and/or make copies when the hotel has these capabilities (ink and paper get expensive fast)

so im not even in there an extended amount of time, but people still keep looking at their watch every 5 seconds, makes me want to take my time

3/27/2014 4:55:02 AM

Quote :

"when your scantly clad 16 year old jail bait little girl is out by the pool, dont get mad it me for looking, make them change or admit you failed as a parent"

Damn dude how obvious were you about it?

3/27/2014 7:45:25 AM

pretty obvious, I mean total creepy middle aged guy

I'm never gonna see these people again anyway

fight club talks about single serving friends, I'm a single serving asshole at times

4/3/2014 9:49:08 AM

hahaha how did that go down?

the father came over, got all mad and told you to stop being so pervy?

4/3/2014 10:29:18 AM

Sir, put your dick away. There are children present!

4/3/2014 10:33:49 AM

You do not, in fact, have to take a ho to a hotel. A simple and affordable, hourly-rate, motel will suffice.

4/3/2014 12:45:48 PM

Quote :

"I refuse to eat breakfast at hotels. I used to be on the road 4/5 nights a week for 7 years. About a year into being on the road, all the hotels had the same nasty liquid eggs and fat sausages. I'd find a little breakfast place in the area."

Sounds like you were going to shitty hotels.

4/3/2014 4:45:12 PM

i was walking behind a guy and his nascar-style family in bathing suits down the hallway. the "little girl" had on a bikini that was about 25 sizes too small and was so engulfed by her ass that it was undetectable from behind. the guy turned around and said, " you lookin at somethin, boy?...you see somethin you like?" i was looking and thought it was an obvious woman

and i said "its a free country i can look wherever i please. " and walked past him

he stood there babbling and all i heard was "thats my 12 year old daughter you creep"

4/3/2014 6:44:58 PM

Whre is the most appropriate place to blow ones load? I was thinking not the top blanket since everyone knows those do not get washed.

4/3/2014 7:36:50 PM

Quote :

"hahaha how did that go down? the father came over, got all mad and told you to stop being so pervy?"

I was out by the pool with my laptop doing some work, since it was such a nice day

then this girl comes out in one of the smallest swimsuit ever, she looks 18-20, but her demeanor, body language, speaking tone etc, quickly make it obvious she is only 15-16

and this older dude comes behind her, just in time to see my face and eyes go "cot damn"

if looks could kill, I would be a dead man

for the next hour, he kept glancing at me and looking away when I looked his way, much like I kept looking away from his girl when either of them looked

4/5/2014 6:17:14 AM