As of February 3, 2014, BridgetSPK was available for me to use on reddit. I noted it here:

message_topic.aspx?topic=640908&page=1#16009474

At the time, I did not register the name. For this and many other reasons, I'm clearly an idiot. BridgetSPK, of course, is now taken.

I want it known that at least one of you is a monster, but you are still in a position to remedy this injustice...

Deliver to me the login credentials for the name that is rightfully mine.

I make no threats. You will do what is right.

[Edited on July 8, 2014 at 12:16 AM. Reason : Also, guys, don't do that thing where you let my threads die. This one's important. For real.]

7/8/2014 12:13:56 AM

etdac

7/8/2014 12:17:01 AM

I don't understand Internet acronyms!

Or are those my login credentials? Cause I already tried a bunch of passwords in case I was the one who took the name and forgot.

Now Reddit says I gotta wait 12 minutes to try again.

7/8/2014 12:23:35 AM

Tried "etdac" twice. It did not work.

So I'm afraid I may have panicked and registered as theDuke866. The password is gofuckyourself. Don't know what came over me. I tried to register aaronburro, too, but they want me to wait.

7/8/2014 12:59:48 AM

I'll surrender the password if you post confirmed pics of yourself to this website.

7/8/2014 5:47:55 AM

^ does not have the password

7/8/2014 10:33:57 AM

I've had it with this dump! We've got no food, we got no jobs,... our pets' HEADS ARE FALLIN' OFF!!!

7/8/2014 10:50:27 AM