I am married with a family. I met someone online who is also married but things really clicked between us over time. The opportunity for them to move closer to me, they took and moved their family within a reasonable driving distance from me. Since then our relationship has really blossomed with us being able to to see each other multiple times a week, because of that our relationship has become very intimate. This has been going on for a few months now.

A few weeks ago things started to feel distant between us but we would still be intimate almost every time we would be together. About a week ago they told me they wanted to stop being intimate with me but still loved me, they just couldn't take feeling guilty when around their spouse. We agreed to talk about it, I saw them yesterday and things started to get very passionate with our making out. After much talking in between the making out clothes came off and we agreed to be intimate again. Once we are done, they tell me they didn't mean to hurt me and that we shouldn't have just done that. They go on and tell me how much they love me and how much they need me.

Any advice on what to do? Should I break it off? Keep the relationship with them? Try to just be friends?

I have also completely fallen in love with this person, neither of us want to break up our current marriages.

Please help

12/10/2015 4:19:47 PM

She will probably come around. Stay the course.

[Edited on December 10, 2015 at 4:52 PM. Reason : .]

12/10/2015 4:51:41 PM

Methinks "they" is a guy...

12/10/2015 5:33:46 PM

Also, nothing good can come of this.

12/10/2015 5:34:15 PM

^^ that's what i was thinking do to the ambitious pronoun, but with his usage of "intimate" I think it could go either way

12/10/2015 5:39:24 PM

^ why, is intimate only used for hetero sex?

Quote :

"Any advice on what to do? Should I break it off? Keep the relationship with them? Try to just be friends?"

so basically you are asking:

- should i keep on cheating on my spouse for life?
- or should i stop cheating on my spouse?
- should i get divorced and marry the other person?

ummm... seriously?

i know it is complicated when matters of the heart are involved and most people can't think rationally in such a situation, but rationally, that's what your query boils down to and those are your only two options.

which one do you think is right?

and uh, "being friends" isn't going to work, whether IRL or IVL.

and lol at meeting to talk about stopping intimacy due to guilt but having full-on sex during said meeting

P.S. see what the "being friends" meeting did... more "intimacy". as i said, there is no such thing as "being friends" with an ex-mistress.


[Edited on December 10, 2015 at 6:06 PM. Reason : ]

12/10/2015 5:46:29 PM

lol @ gallery

"i've been thinking about swinging"
"haha jk"
"no really, would you be open to it?"
"haha jk again"

12/10/2015 6:19:14 PM

Kinda doubt this is serious. This is a story about extremely destructive behavior that will most certainly end in the complete demise of your relationships with your wife, your lover and your kids.

Come out to your wife, be honest and upfront. She and your kids will hate you, but being forthright about it may help establish some respect later in life. Your boyfriend will have to come to the decision on his own.

12/10/2015 6:34:24 PM

First post on page 2 is the final word on what Scud1 does.

12/10/2015 6:57:40 PM

Hey scud I'm pretty sure we browsed your gallery in high school drafting class

12/10/2015 7:11:30 PM

Quote :

"why, is intimate only used for hetero sex?"

What I was trying to say was "that's what i was thinking due to the ambiguous pronoun"

The usage of "intimate" instead of something more descriptive is just weird.

12/11/2015 12:09:12 AM

Either way, sounds like quite the ClassicMixup

12/11/2015 12:21:17 AM

Quote :

"Kinda doubt this is serious. This is a story about extremely destructive behavior that will most certainly end in the complete demise of your relationships with your wife, your lover and your kids. Come out to your wife, be honest and upfront. She and your kids will hate you, but being forthright about it may help establish some respect later in life. Your boyfriend will have to come to the decision on his own."

12/11/2015 7:31:00 AM

I have decided to keep the relationship going and see what happens. We have had a couple of good talks the last few days.

I am hoping to get a special Christmas present

12/15/2015 8:26:07 AM

A divorce? An ass beating from her husband? Worst father of the year award?

12/15/2015 8:31:10 AM

Seriously man...you're kind of a piece of shit.

12/15/2015 8:33:22 AM

There was a similar story a couple years ago in the Confessions thread from a guy that was married but having an affair with his best friend's wife who they were always doing couple-activities with. I always wondered how that one ended up.

12/15/2015 8:35:13 AM

Quote :

"A divorce? An ass beating from her husband his wife? Worst father of the year award?"

12/15/2015 8:37:20 AM

It's not like any of you have never cheated on someone....

12/15/2015 8:56:09 AM

^^^ Believe there was some panty-sniffing going on in that one...and not the OEP kind.

12/15/2015 9:00:29 AM

i hope this is a troll thread. I also hope you're not insinuating that everyone has cheated.

[Edited on December 15, 2015 at 9:04 AM. Reason : ]

12/15/2015 9:03:46 AM

^^there was some straight up hands down pants in the other room at party stuff going on too

12/15/2015 9:13:35 AM

Kind of reminds me of







also

12/15/2015 9:49:47 AM

http://www.amazon.com/Sex-Dawn-Stray-Modern-Relationships/dp/1491512407

Good present 4 this dude

12/15/2015 10:14:10 AM

Why even ask for advice? Seems like you already made up your mind. You are a piece of shit though. Not because you fell in love with someone else, but because you are cheating on your wife. Sometimes you just have a magical connection with someone that you aren't married to and that kind of thing can't really be stopped, but you should at least grow up and be honest about it.

12/15/2015 10:19:34 AM

^

12/15/2015 10:31:40 AM

Quote :

"I met someone online who is also married but things really clicked between us over time."

Wait...you met this person online, on what type of website? Did you actively set out to start an extra marital relationship?

12/15/2015 10:31:45 AM

Quote :

"Wait...you met this person online, on what type of website? Did you actively set out to start an extra marital relationship?"

No, it just happened.

12/15/2015 10:34:28 AM

Dude. Dont be a cheater. That's really REALLY shitty, and totally unfair for your wife and kid.

Would you be ok if your wife was in the same situation? If not, then dont do that shit to her.

Anyway, dont do it man. Have some respect for the sanctity of your marriage and family.

[Edited on December 15, 2015 at 11:11 AM. Reason : .]

12/15/2015 10:44:40 AM

^^that's pretty much like every affair ever. i've been around this shit too many times. Is what you have special? Maybe. You two could be meant for each other. Statistically speaking? Probably not, it's probably like most other affairs.

You should read the book After the Affair. Honestly, both you and the person you are cheating with should read this book separately. It may help you both decide whether you want to take this to the next level with this person (ie come clean, end your marriage, they do the same, and you move forward together with this person) or you cut it off completely. Those are really the only two options (unless you both think your spouses are open to open relationships or something less common like that). You don't want to break up your marriages because it's convenient to have your cake and eat it too. But that's the most selfish thing you can do. You're both currently hurting people you supposedly love and will only do so more in the future. If you actually care about your family at all, you will man up and make the decision. 100% or 0%. Anything in between is cowardice.

[Edited on December 15, 2015 at 10:49 AM. Reason : ]

12/15/2015 10:47:56 AM

http://www.amazon.com/The-Chalice-Blade-History-Future/dp/0062502891

Another good read

12/15/2015 10:53:36 AM

Quote :

"No, it just happened."

lol that's what they always say. Oh it's not MY fault! It just happened!

Quote :

"It may help you both decide whether you want to take this to the next level with this person (ie come clean, end your marriage, they do the same, and you move forward together with this person)"

He's already said they both don't want to end their current marriages. Just continue to fuck on the side.

[Edited on December 15, 2015 at 11:02 AM. Reason : Hey Scud is it a woman or a man?]

12/15/2015 11:01:36 AM

^Right. But they asked for advice and, while they probably will just ignore it, my advice is that there are basically 2 options. The path Scud wants to take is not a logical option if they care one ounce about their wife and kids. However they are too close to the situation to realize this. Reading a book like that can be useful - more useful than soliciting advice from people here that will probably be ignored.

[Edited on December 15, 2015 at 11:09 AM. Reason : ]

12/15/2015 11:06:12 AM

really wish I didn't click on his gallery at work.

also, you're a piece of shit.

12/15/2015 11:16:30 AM

The reason Scud made this thread was because he (or she?) already made up his mind and was hoping that he could get some validation online to make him feel less guilty about it. At this point there is no way this can end without someone getting hurt.


Sidenote: Watch the Affair on Showtime. Pretty intense. Not sure how realistic it is but it is quality tv!

12/15/2015 11:22:52 AM

I'm pretty sure 'they' (who's he fooling? Scud and his boy-toy) have little-to-no remorse about what their doing in regards to their families, or he would've at least mentioned being conflicted about carrying on in an affair somewhere in this thread. You're not going to convince them to read anything.

12/15/2015 11:24:56 AM

#CheatersLivesMatter

12/15/2015 8:58:29 PM

I've got to say that I'm impressed nobody made an AIDS joke yet. 2015 TWW is so PC/progressive!

12/15/2015 9:07:45 PM

Everybody on TWW already knows Scud1 has aids

12/15/2015 9:16:57 PM

Quote :

"You're both currently hurting people you supposedly love"

A tree falling on a deserted island doesn't make sound
IOW
no one is getting hurt if their respective spouses don't know!

[That's how people in affairs rationalize it, I suppose, including the OP... I of course think it is a terrible thing to do.]

*******************

Pretty shocked by OP's decision to "keep the relationship going and see what happens." Anything I wanted to say in response has already been said very decisively by several others.

And SMH at hoping to have adulterous sex on a day of great religious significance

12/15/2015 9:58:57 PM

I didn't open this thread at work because I was certain this would live up to the OPs reputation

12/15/2015 11:14:56 PM

something something, 'trolled ya'll'.....

12/16/2015 6:53:52 AM

^well that would be infinitely better

12/16/2015 8:18:30 AM

This could really be settled in one question? Does she take it up the butt?

12/16/2015 8:31:20 AM

..

[Edited on December 16, 2015 at 9:32 AM. Reason : oops]

12/16/2015 9:29:30 AM

^ POST IT BACK... WHAT WAS IT???

12/16/2015 9:51:42 AM

^I think he's now realized the error of his ways. With no buttsecks, it's just not worth it.

12/16/2015 9:56:16 AM

He said yes.

12/16/2015 10:04:28 AM

I'm a little miffed that after all of the accusations that he's plowing another dude, he has yet to even acknowledge the gender of his partner dirt bag.

12/16/2015 10:08:12 AM

--->

12/16/2015 10:37:02 AM