what factors do you think have contributed to that state of affairs? Also, list your age if you feel like it:

34
- vanity/unwillingness to settle for anything less than a unicorn
- I'm such a damned weirdo that it's really challenging to find somebody who fits my weirdness
- I kinda suck at dating/making women like me. Probably this reason comes down to an inner self-loathing that I'm scarcely aware of and have been working on, but that's most definitely present.
- I really value my alone time - solitude is my natural state. this makes it both hard for me to find a relationship I really enjoy, and also more content just to stay single.
- until two years ago, I was still in school - this probably didn't help. (incidentally, I'm no longer in school, but when I tell people I'm a "postdoc", they think that means I still am in school.)

what about you people? and are you happy being single? I kinda am - I get lots of work done, and have a reasonably active social life - but definitely feel like I'm missing out on a lot of what life has to offer. Also, at my age the clock is ticking like a motherfucker, obviously.

1/15/2016 11:04:35 PM

I'm triple :3 ;3 =3

1/15/2016 11:06:36 PM

36

A lot of the same factors you mentioned. I have no desire to settle, I'm more than just a bit of a hermit. I'm also pathologically unwilling/unable to allow people "in." Also, most women I meet within the age range I would consider dating (roughly 20-40) are really not that interesting to me or have an array of issues. The lower end of that bracket is kind of, well... dumb. The upper end tends to consist of a lot of divorcees or single moms. That's a lot of baggage.

At this point I'm pretty much ok with the prospect of staying single forever or just becoming a sugar daddy a few years from now.

1/15/2016 11:14:19 PM

Have you all considered the reason you're having trouble meeting a nice lady may be that you're really into men? I think you both should give buttsex a shot. And I happen to know a guy who's name starts with an E and ends with a MCE who would like to pound your fannies into next week.

Send me a PM

[Edited on January 15, 2016 at 11:36 PM. Reason : BB is 333]

1/15/2016 11:35:13 PM

Yeah, there's some wisdom in what you say. however, if I'm gonna take a ride on the gay train, I want to start small. and the way you describe this E.MCE fellow, he doesn't sound small at all. I'm not a jump-in-the-pool-without-sticking-a-toe-in-first kind of guy.

however, if you have any promiscuous gay friends with reasonable-sized penises, I might be curious.

1/15/2016 11:55:44 PM

Maybe you should start by sticking a toe in.

1/16/2016 8:31:28 AM

I think I saw this thread on 4chan

1/16/2016 9:15:07 AM

This guy wants to fuck a horse?

1/16/2016 10:03:15 AM

Lol...

1/16/2016 10:21:17 AM

Get into the gym and it might fix some of your dating problem and confidence. Bitches are shallow. Well not just bitches...humans are shallow.

1/16/2016 6:06:58 PM

I'm saving my seed for a supermodel neurosurgeon who gets me

1/16/2016 6:23:27 PM

^ meh if she is also not an Olympic-level athlete

1/16/2016 7:49:18 PM

who comes from money

1/16/2016 8:24:10 PM

^ not a strict requirement, as being a supermodel AND a neurosurgeon, she will easily pull in a few million every year.

1/16/2016 8:33:59 PM

28

I'm a stubborn pain in the ass; I expect them to not cheat on me but be ok with me running around naked in the woods with my friends; I am bored easily; I expect dudes to go to the gym at least as much as I do

1/16/2016 9:23:59 PM

32

- Extreme introvert and really bad at meeting new people
- I assume anyone who expresses interest in me is lying to me and really just feels sorry for me
- too scared to actually open up and risk getting hurt

1/17/2016 1:04:33 PM

in a nutshell:

because of shit like this
http://brentroad.com/message_topic.aspx?topic=646748

[Edited on January 17, 2016 at 2:30 PM. Reason : treetwista fucking with me]

1/17/2016 2:30:19 PM

Does the dating pool get shittier as time goes by? Say you do not want to date a recent divorcee or anyone who has kids to avoid baggage & drama, does holding out forever help you? The pool of quality people might get smaller and smaller until the only ones remaining have some qualities that make them not good candidates.

Is there any research on this topic? It would be interesting to see a line graph that shows the % of single people with no pre-teen children over a life span. Dating at the bottom of the line graph would probably mean you are picking from the scraps.

1/17/2016 5:03:00 PM

32

I'm fat and antisocial. Means dudes don't try to talk to me and I don't try to talk to them.

1/17/2016 6:00:42 PM

35

I'm not antisocial or anything. I'm ready to go to the bar, or party anytime someone invites me. I just don't know anyone that I am interested in dating. I have had multiple girls crushing on me through the years, but I wasn't into them. We're just friends. I'm happy with my career, but I'm not rich, so I don't think I would even waste my time asking a girl out on a date right now if I even knew someone I was interested in.

[Edited on January 17, 2016 at 6:35 PM. Reason : .]

1/17/2016 6:34:50 PM

It's easier just to make collages.

1/17/2016 6:55:50 PM

i be single cause havent felt like getting rejected a bunch of times before i meet my next gf. soon i will decide its worth it i suspect

1/17/2016 8:41:43 PM

I'd marry ShawnaC123's fine ass, any day this week.

1/17/2016 9:14:06 PM

Quote :

"Does the dating pool get shittier as time goes by? Say you do not want to date a recent divorcee or anyone who has kids to avoid baggage & drama, does holding out forever help you? The pool of quality people might get smaller and smaller until the only ones remaining have some qualities that make them not good candidates. Is there any research on this topic? It would be interesting to see a line graph that shows the % of single people with no pre-teen children over a life span. Dating at the bottom of the line graph would probably mean you are picking from the scraps."

This is only true for women. Men can just date 10+ years younger if they're worried about children and past divorces.

There are still plenty of great, unattached dudes out there for the ladies, I'm sure. But, yeah, the music stopped a long time ago, and there was a mad dash for the chairs.


I'm lonely in the morning sometimes, like for those few minutes before the day's distractions begin, and if I make it to 60, I think it'd be nice to have someone getting old with me. But, otherwise, the notion of being single doesn't really trouble me.

I guess I should just hire somebody to wake me up and brush their teeth with me in the mornings.


^Seriously!

1/17/2016 9:27:02 PM

Not many women have the J.Lo gene But I'm sure she has gotten work done, they all do.

1/17/2016 9:28:49 PM

1. Unwillingness to settle. I want a hot chick, in good shape, who's great in bed, doing something with her life, with intellectual parity with me.

I'd really prefer her to not have kids, or at the very least, not younger than my daughter, and probably just 1.

I'd also really prefer her to be adventurous (I fly airplanes, race cars, ride motorcycles, ski, SCUBA dive, enjoy off-the-beaten-path travel, etc. I don't care if she does those things, but if she wants to eat at Applebee's, vacation at Sandals, listen to pop-country, and going to the mall or watching TV is her preferred recreation, well...that doesn't make her a bad person, but I'm not interested)

Well, pop-country kinda makes her a bad person.

Oh, and not fucking difficult to get along with or likely to add stress to my life. I already have one pain-in-the-ass bitch to deal with; I don't need 2.

I've also found that not having a university education is almost always a pretty big divide, socially. I guess it's not an ironclad rule for me or anything, but I've found that it's so predictive that I don't expend time pursuing women without it.




2. I live in the FL panhandle. Lower Alabama. It's a very fat, very stupid place. The dating pool is very shallow, literally and figuratively. Maybe when I'm in my mid-40s and can leave here, I'll end up with a girlfriend or maybe even a wife, haha.

2a: Yes,

Quote :

"the music stopped a long time ago, and there was a mad dash for the chairs. "

3. I'm really, really coldly logical and analytical, and not very emotional. I'm pretty extroverted, but I don't enjoy idle small talk. I've spent my entire adult life either as a USMC officer and aviator, or as an engineer, or in schooling/training for one of those things. None of the above promote even the slightest hint of touchy-feelyness, and both are male-dominated to the point that it's almost exclusively male (my engineering job is with a defense contractor, building warships, and I'm confident that there are fewer women there than in the Marine Corps!)

Consequently, I don't always even think about the little niceties that many women appreciate (how was your day, i like your hair like that, that dress looks great on you, etc). I tend to not flower compliments on them (of course you make me happy and I enjoy spending time with you--I'm spending time with you. Isn't that obvious? )

Oddly, with my daughter, I'm much more freely complimentary, affectionate, and tenderly encouraging. I think part of it is because she's a kid instead of a grown-ass woman, and part of it is because I actively try to counterbalance the way her mother treats her, but part of it is because...

...I'm really, really slow to develop emotional attachment. I've dated a few women who, after 2-3 months, assumed I just wasn't that into them. That was true, but they left out "yet." ...and how can you blame them, not wanting to date someone for a year just to see if he'd come around, hahaha? ...but the fact remains, that when they placed me [before I was ready] in a position of getting more serious and more committed with them or not having them at all, I always chose "not at all."

1/17/2016 10:06:25 PM

Quote :

"At this point I'm pretty much ok with the prospect of staying single forever or just becoming a sugar daddy a few years from now."

I kind of feel the same way. I'm not really bothered 99.9999999999% of the time by the fact that I am single, but there is a side of me that worries that I'm going to miss out on a lot though. I almost never hang out with my friends anymore who are now married with children. People in relationships seem to do fun things with other people in relationships. When you're the single person in their circle of friends you don't get invited to go to dinner with them. I would love to tour the American west and see all of the cool national parks/monuments in Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, and Utah, but being single with aging parents and two sisters in relationships makes achieving that goal very complicated.

1/17/2016 11:51:46 PM

Quote :

"Men can just date 10+ years younger if they're worried about children and past divorces."

My brother-in-law and one of my best friends have both been dating 21-24 year olds while being 12-15 years older...and complaining about how immature they are. In one case there is a child, but she would be even farther out of his league if it wasn't for that.

If I came up single I would probably go that route too.

1/18/2016 9:32:04 AM

Quote :

"This is only true for women. Men can just date 10+ years younger if they're worried about children and past divorces."

Yeah women never date younger because of all the young single dads (like me) out there.

[Edited on January 18, 2016 at 11:07 AM. Reason : ]

1/18/2016 11:06:59 AM

Quote :

"Yeah women never date younger because of all the young single dads (like me) out there."

Wut? I think you are doing it wrong man.

You should have the cream of the crop of YOUNGER single moms to date in your role as a stable, family oriented dude who hopefully does not hate children. Dudes generally do not seek out to date older unless she is filthy rich, successful, or exceptionally hot.

1/18/2016 10:43:55 PM

I'm 29.

I passed on a lot of great girls in college that I should have given more a chance to in hindsight because I wasn't over my ex.

Since grad school I've found it increasingly difficult to meet women. There are none at my work and not really many in my friend group. I'm very social and spend almost every night out and with friends but I'm not great at cold approaching girls in bars, although I definitely try when I'm in the right mood.

Sometimes I think that I'm just too picky but at the same time, I'd rather be alone and spend time doing things I like and hanging out with friends than to settle with a girl I'm not attracted to. I've gotten to the point where I'm not going to actively seek it out and just wait and let it happen naturally and just enjoy being me in the process.

1/18/2016 11:01:21 PM

Quote :

"1. Unwillingness to settle. I want a hot chick, in good shape, who's great in bed, doing something with her life, with intellectual parity with me. "

Quote :

"2. I live in the FL panhandle. Lower Alabama. It's a very fat, very stupid place. The dating pool is very shallow, literally and figuratively. Maybe when I'm in my mid-40s and can leave here, I'll end up with a girlfriend or maybe even a wife, haha. "

Duke if you could look past the general liberal attitudes of a lot of girls here, I think you would really like that dating scene in Portland. The girls here are compared to the south way more fit, educated, have fun hobbies, interested in culture, aren't scrambling by 30 to get the engagement ring, less pretentious, and you don't have to share your relationship with Jesus.

After filtering out the fatties, overly pretentious types, and the Jesus-focused girls in NC you have eliminated at over half of the dwindling dating supply as you work your way into your 30's.

[Edited on January 19, 2016 at 1:11 AM. Reason : a]

1/19/2016 1:06:40 AM

1/19/2016 2:54:28 AM

Quote :

"ShawnaC123 All American 45536 Posts user info edit post 32 I'm fat and antisocial. Means dudes don't try to talk to me and I don't try to talk to them."

Shawna, we could have had a thing like six years ago. Then you stopped leaving me drunk voice mails and I figured you had lost interest.

1/19/2016 2:21:34 PM

Quote :

"Since grad school I've found it increasingly difficult to meet women. There are none at my work and not really many in my friend group. I'm very social and spend almost every night out and with friends but I'm not great at cold approaching girls in bars, although I definitely try when I'm in the right mood. Sometimes I think that I'm just too picky but at the same time, I'd rather be alone and spend time doing things I like and hanging out with friends than to settle with a girl I'm not attracted to. I've gotten to the point where I'm not going to actively seek it out and just wait and let it happen naturally and just enjoy being me in the process."

My thoughts exactly. However i don't go out to bars/clubs as much as i used to, and started to do kickball/softball leagues to meet people. I'll occasionally find a girl to start a fling with, but then i'll get bored after about 2 months because after sating the thirst to get laid, i'll discover she isn't attractive/interesting enough to get serious with.

1/19/2016 2:40:34 PM

39

the cheif raeson is my dick's lexia

1/20/2016 8:52:40 AM

Quote :

"Duke if you could look past the general liberal attitudes of a lot of girls here, I think you would really like that dating scene in Portland. The girls here are compared to the south way more fit, educated, have fun hobbies, interested in culture, aren't scrambling by 30 to get the engagement ring, less pretentious, and you don't have to share your relationship with Jesus."

Unless there is some huge paycheck attached, I don't think he's moving away from his child. Incidentally, he also doesn't seem like the type of dude who would care about someone's political attitudes. Plus, women in general lean a bit more liberal than men, and there's not much way around it. I'm very wary of dudes who actually care about my politics.

Like, if I ever start rambling about my dream world, I expect guys to say, "Yeah, free daycare for everybody would be nice, Bridget."

Some dudes come with this very early on though: "Oh yeah?!?! So you wanna breed more government dependency?!?! You know, that's what's wrong with this country...blah, blah, blah..." Their ideas aren't stupid, but revealing that one listens to conservative talk radio all day is a very dumb thing to do when you're just getting to know someone.

[Edited on January 20, 2016 at 4:29 PM. Reason : ]

1/20/2016 4:28:21 PM

Yeah, what I want to do next (investment banking) would have a huge payday; I could get my MBA and go down that road, but Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley just don't have any operations in the FL panhandle. So...no, not for a huge payday, either.

9 more years, and then it's on. That's my plan, but it'll have to wait. It hurts my head, but hundreds of thousands per year isn't going to make me move before she's off to college, either.


Also, I don't give a shit about anyone's politics unless he/she is just a total fucking moonbat, and then I only care because it calls their judgment and critical thinking ability into serious question. Also, if you plotted me on a simple left-right scale, I'd probably be dead-center or slightly left...and in terms of personality and how my mind works, I think maybe I have more in common with liberals. I'd rather travel to Peru or Nepal or something than take a cruise or go to Paris. I love science, am not religious, love all sorts of ethnic and/or not traditional foods, listen to the Beatles and the Grateful Dead and a bunch of metal. Plus, I drive a hybrid, listen to NPR and/or audiobooks for 2.5+ hours every day while commuting, and watch PBS, Bloomberg News, Smithsonian and TED Talks 10x as much as all other TV combined. In other words, despite a pretty rural, redneck upbringing, and 10 years in the Marines, and working for a defense contractor now, I still have plenty in common personality-wise with a left-coast liberal, educated, culturally astute woman...probably way more than I do with most women with strong conservative leanings.

Quote :

"but revealing that one listens to conservative talk radio all day is a very dumb thing to do when you're just getting to know someone."

[Edited on January 20, 2016 at 8:47 PM. Reason : i cannot fucking wait to get out of here]

[Edited on January 20, 2016 at 8:47 PM. Reason : ]

1/20/2016 8:44:46 PM

^ shit dude you sound like the majority of dudes in Portland

1/20/2016 9:02:56 PM

Dude, "majority of dudes in Portland" is men everywhere.

You're really, really behind if you haven't quite grasped this fact.





[Edited on January 20, 2016 at 9:15 PM. Reason : ]

1/20/2016 9:14:13 PM

Quote :

"love all sorts of ethnic and/or not traditional foods, listen to the Beatles and the Grateful Dead and a bunch of metal. Plus, I drive a hybrid, listen to NPR and/or audiobooks for 2.5+ hours every day while commuting, and watch PBS, Bloomberg News, Smithsonian and TED Talks 10x as much as all other TV combined."

Outside the progressive bubble in the triangle and similar places, I doubt most men anywhere in the south can be described by drive hybrids, listen to NPR, and wanting to visit 3rd world countries versus hitting up Myrtle Beach

1/20/2016 11:44:45 PM

he copied and pasted that from his match.com profile

1/20/2016 11:54:09 PM

^that just made me laff!

1/21/2016 3:29:32 PM

38
-Its not easy finding someone of my own "persuasion" that hasnt dated everyone I know.
-I find that these women do not want to settle down, nor do they want kids
-they are really fucked up in the head
-I have my own faults, but have really improved and Im really not sure why I cant find someone

1/22/2016 3:41:53 PM

not being able to settle actually means that someone has an unrealistic belief about how attractive they are as a potential mate. not being able to settle is not an issue with the person, it's just that their qualities are not competitive enough to attract a high quality partner. if someone thinks that they are just not able to settle, they need to have an honest appraisal of why they are a shitty candidate and improve those things.

[Edited on January 22, 2016 at 3:49 PM. Reason : hashtag truthbomb ]

1/22/2016 3:48:54 PM

Sounds like to me you guys need to download Tinder hahahaha.

You can find a whore that wants a one-night-stand but also wants some love.

Try it, I dare you.

1/22/2016 3:55:30 PM

http://metro.co.uk/2016/03/29/woman-killed-herself-over-fears-she-would-never-get-married-5782756



Hope no one here will kill themselves over fears of staying single!

4/1/2016 8:06:43 AM

well that's depressing - thanks for this this morning

4/1/2016 8:08:17 AM

whoops...

******************************

Quote :

"Danielle Saul, 31, had her own flat in Manchester with her cat – but she longed to settle down with someone. At the same time, all of her best friends were getting engaged or married."

Goddamn, on first reading (several minutes ago), I read it as CAR... clicked on link again now to see where the incident happened and saw CAT


[Edited on April 1, 2016 at 8:11 AM. Reason : ]

4/1/2016 8:09:37 AM

Set em up

6/16/2016 11:13:56 PM