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 Message Boards » » tales of the technically inept Page 1 ... 19 20 21 22 [23] 24 25 26 27 28, Prev Next  
ScHpEnXeL
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i dunno

i think the best thing i've ever read that i never was sure if it was trolling or not was a comment about linux.. it was basically saying that linux ran on top of windows and that all the people calling it an operating system were wrong. and that it was impossible for a group of people to make an OS that would run on its own because that required huge corporations years to develop, etc

1/28/2010 11:09:00 AM

gs7
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^Hah, yea I remember that ... did a search, is this what you were referring to?

http://talkback.zdnet.com/5208-12355-0.html?forumID=1&threadID=31199&messageID=579806&start=43

Quote :
"You are kidding arent you ?

Are you saying that this linux can run on a computer without windows underneath it, at all ? As in, without a boot disk, without any drivers, and without any services ?

That sounds preposterous to me.

If it were true (and I doubt it), then companies would be selling computers without a windows. This clearly is not happening, so there must be some error in your calculations. I hope you realise that windows is more than just Office ? Its a whole system that runs the computer from start to finish, and that is a very difficult thing to acheive. A lot of people dont realise this.

Microsoft just spent $9 billion and many years to create Vista, so it does not sound reasonable that some new alternative could just snap into existence overnight like that. It would take billions of dollars and a massive effort to achieve. IBM tried, and spent a huge amount of money developing OS/2 but could never keep up with Windows. Apple tried to create their own system for years, but finally gave up recently and moved to Intel and Microsoft.

Its just not possible that a freeware like the Linux could be extended to the point where it runs the entire computer fron start to finish, without using some of the more critical parts of windows. Not possible.

I think you need to re-examine your assumptions.
Posted by: jerryleecooper Posted on: 03/14/07 "


[Edited on January 28, 2010 at 11:23 AM. Reason : .]

1/28/2010 11:22:27 AM

ScHpEnXeL
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ahhaha that is EXACTLY what i was talking about.. not quite but i remembered..but better imo

[Edited on January 28, 2010 at 11:25 AM. Reason : if you google his name there are tons of fun reads about it]

1/28/2010 11:24:36 AM

Solinari
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I can't view it because my connection is not as good as theirs. LOL

1/29/2010 7:49:37 AM

Arab13
Art Vandelay
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there is so much fail in that old post, so much....

1/29/2010 12:24:52 PM

ScHpEnXeL
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or is it that much win?

1/29/2010 12:38:34 PM

disco_stu
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Customers who think I'm talking down to them because I say something they don't understand. Like "Open your control panel".

Then they get pissed when I calmly say "Click Start -> Control Panel". What the fuck do you want from me?



[Edited on February 3, 2010 at 9:21 AM. Reason : m]

2/3/2010 9:20:24 AM

ambrosia1231
eeeeeeeeeevil
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http://clientsfromhell.tumblr.com

2/25/2010 5:20:02 PM

1985
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^ Lol, we should get this guy to redesign TWW.

http://www.norcalis.com/

[Edited on February 25, 2010 at 7:54 PM. Reason : inept]

2/25/2010 7:53:58 PM

ThatGoodLock
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Quote :
"Client: “[Indian outsourcer] says he can do this site for $200. Why should I go with you?”

Me: “Has he done any work for you in the past?”

Client: Yeah! He did [Other Site] for me.

[I load the other site]

Me: “The entire site’s done in Flash.”

Client: “Huh?”

Me: “It’s a site for iPhone users.”

Client: “I know. Cool, huh?”

Me: “It’s a site for iPhone users… none of whom can see it…”

Client: “Huh?”

Me: “The iPhone doesn’t support Flash.”

Client: “Well it looks fine on my PC!”

Me: “Do you have an iPhone?”

Client: “No.”

Me: “…”

Client: “Tell you what, I’m just gonna go with [Indian outsourcer]. He seems like he knows what he’s doing and I’m not sure you do.”

Me: “Have fun.”"



[Edited on February 25, 2010 at 8:11 PM. Reason : h]

2/25/2010 8:10:51 PM

ScHpEnXeL
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hahahah

2/25/2010 8:28:09 PM

A Tanzarian
drip drip boom
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Quote :
"Client: “I want the site to be metallic and cool, like ‘blow your head off’ cool, like the Transformers”

Me: “This is for a wedding photography business, right?”

Client: “So? Optimus Prime can’t shoot a fucking picture?”"


lol

2/25/2010 9:10:57 PM

Netstorm
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Well.

There went two hours.

2/26/2010 1:31:30 AM

th3oretecht
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^^^^HAHAHAHAHA

2/26/2010 2:26:05 AM

gs7
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^^^^^^Hahahaha, this NorCal Internet Services "Walk-Outs" guy is work of art, lol

http://www.linkedin.com/in/norcalis

Quote :
"My professional experience is as a renewable energy specialist, and a current member of the North American Board of Certified Energy Practitioners. My fort is the design and installation of photovoltaic grid-tied systems.

This is not what I am emphasizing, however. One and one-half years ago, I decided to focus on making money doing what I love for a living. The result is http://www.norcalis.com and my destination specialty sites. NorCalis is my portal, designed to give a fairly professional look to an otherwise totally whimsical variety of demonstration websites accessed from the header on that home page.

I seek the opportunity to work with companies and individuals who what to promote a "somewhat different" look and feel. If you can dream it, I can design it. Small jobs are frequently available overnight. Thanks for stopping by.

Namaste - Baran Galocy"


Quote :
"
Baran Galocy’s Experience:
Adobe DreamWorks (CS4) -
Sony Vegas Movie Studio Platinum -
Adobe Flash (ug!), KoolMoves (cool) and 3DFA Flash Animator -
Various Flash Video and SWF Video Converters -
Various Photo and Image Editor Packages -
Various embedding and projecting programs -

We can record green screen video (or receive uploaded files), key-out the background, process in FLV, incorporate into a SWF animation, and embed the entire package on you web site or provide it to your web master. We create everything from Action Headers to Action Ads, and enjoy mixing it up a little.

We love those "special" clients, with a clear vision of a final product, who allow us to dance with them and help manifest their vision.

After completing a 30 KW system for Lassen Volvanic National Park, I allowed my company to lapse as I began to study the software necessary to accomplish the effects I wished to achieve on the Internet. I dissolved HelioElectric, Inc in Dec, 2008 and have spent the bulk of 2009 in continuing education.

Baran Galocy’s Education:
I am a past MENSA member, so I guess that puts me in the top 2% of intellects. Unfortunately, I am only in the top 50% when it comes to working long hours instead of enjoying life.

Baran Galocy’s Interests:
Most things Outdoors, percussion & drumming, hot tubs & hot springs, metaphysics, travel arts and, of course, whimsical website designs to make enough money to enjoy life."


But you know what, at least he seems happy with his whimsical life http://www.reddingcollectives.com/

[Edited on February 26, 2010 at 6:41 AM. Reason : medical reasons]

2/26/2010 6:39:53 AM

Lokken
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13361 Posts
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Quote :
"
MY

FORT

IS
"


this is probably [old] to most but I thought it should go here:

http://mashable.com/2010/02/22/stolen-wifi-confusion/

2/26/2010 8:53:02 AM

Stimwalt
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Wow, he fails at failing.

^ haha, saw that the other day. Priceless.

[Edited on February 26, 2010 at 8:55 AM. Reason : -]

2/26/2010 8:55:19 AM

tl
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^^ "...my fort is..."
At least he's pronouncing it correctly.

2/26/2010 9:00:37 AM

ambrosia1231
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From clients from hell:
Quote :
"
Me: “With this hosting account you get 5 email addresses, so anything @mydomain.com.au. What email addresses would you like?”

Client: “Hmm..but that’s not very much 5 emails.”

Me: “Well you can always upgrade your hosting account to allow you to have more mailboxes.”

Client: “But what happens when I have received 5 emails, then I can’t use my email anymore.”"

3/3/2010 11:25:32 AM

Arab13
Art Vandelay
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Quote :
"Baran Galocy’s Education:
I am a past MENSA member, so I guess that puts me in the top 2% of intellects. Unfortunately, I am only in the top 50% when it comes to working long hours instead of enjoying life."


AHAHHAHAHA MENSA! AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

3/3/2010 1:17:06 PM

Arab13
Art Vandelay
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fucking livid at my technically inept medical doctor (pathologist and a transplant surgeon) roommates...

the twits 'rewired' everything to make it 'look nicer' and so one of them could take a small end table for his room and plugged in the wireless router power supply (12v 1a) into the ethernet switch (9v .06a) and vice versa...

it killed the wireless router we had acting at a WAP..... the switch seems ok as the ps3 attached to it hasn't apparently had any issues with getting online, but i'll check it later...

3/27/2010 12:13:12 AM

GenghisJohn
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jesus christ clientsfromhell is retardedly entertaining

3/27/2010 4:19:17 AM

raiden
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Quote :
"jesus christ clientsfromhell is retardedly entertaining"


signed.

3/27/2010 5:29:36 PM

wwwebsurfer
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ah..... this thread makes me warm and fuzzy inside. It's good to know I'm not alone out here dealing with customers

3/28/2010 1:06:00 PM

CalledToArms
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Trying to help someone at work. He was trying to get a list of all the email addresses that are supposed to receive invites to these events I am on a committee for at work. I sent him a shortcut to the database, with a button created that he can just click on and it copies all the addresses from the database and then he can just paste that in the "to" field.

He wrote back:

"Where do I go to get the email list? I went to the database and clicked on Copy Email Addresses. It told me that they had been copied to a clipboard. Where is the clipboard? "

The kicker? He is not an old employee...he is a new college graduate: 24 years old with an MBA.

3/30/2010 10:45:52 AM

ScHpEnXeL
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wowww

3/30/2010 11:07:21 AM

BobbyDigital
Thots and Prayers
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from one of my engineers:

Quote :
"The customer was cursing Cisco for the down-time and loss of business. "Nothing's working, dude. I can't make or receive any calls", said this distraught P1 customer. I tried telnet and pinging the Gateway, but it didn’t respond.

Then the customer meekly revealed, "Oh, I powered it off to save electricity.""

3/31/2010 1:38:42 PM

ambrosia1231
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76471 Posts
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Quote :
"Op-tickle Fibers
from Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes

(I am in the middle of finishing the last download to fix a customers computer, but his internet keeps resetting.)

Me: “Sorry the download didn’t work. Your internet reset again. We will have to try it again and hopefully it will finish this time.”

Customer: “You know, if you want to speed this up, all you have to do is take the mouse, and kinda rub it over the download box.”

Me: “I’m sorry, rub it over the download box?”

Customer: “Yea you know? If you tickle the download box with the mouse it goes faster. I thought you would know that, being a Tech Support guy and all.”"

4/13/2010 8:24:37 PM

cain
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^^ if only that kind of crap was a rare occurrence.

4/14/2010 11:36:07 AM

1985
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Not technically inept but:

I had a 'GoToMeeting' today with one our our vendors and he pulls up a firefox window to show me something. His theme was Tinkerbell with animated sparkling glitter. I couldn't talk for about a minute without risking a laugh coming out.

4/15/2010 5:49:13 PM

Prospero
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I just pasted a javascript code in my browser's address bar, knowing full well what the code did, I hit enter anyhow... <doh>

4/15/2010 6:11:50 PM

DeltaBeta
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So a guy at work's laptop HD died. Of course, he'd backed up nothing. Anyway, first I tell him to replace that old POS and he balks at that, so I tell him to go get an IDE laptop drive. He comes back with a SATA drive. So I send him back out to get the right drive. A couple days go by, he comes back with another SATA drive. I print out exactly what he needs and send him off again. He comes back with the correct drive.

DURRR

Now he can't find his restore disks. A week goes by, he tells me his wife found them in the attic. OK, he comes in the next day with a bright shiny Office 2007 disk. I again tell him I need his Windows XP reinstallation disk. He comes in the next day and says he has it. Presents me with a burned copy of Office 2003. I tell him he's looking for a Dell Windows XP reinstallation disc and it will likely be green. A few more days go by and he brings me the correct disc.

DURRR

Could've had it back to him in a day, he turns it into 10 days.

4/23/2010 8:32:42 AM

A Tanzarian
drip drip boom
10992 Posts
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I'm waiting for my flight at the airport when some random old lady asks me what one of icons on her phone means.
It was the speaker mute icon.

She asked me because I look "the right age to know."

4/26/2010 3:37:31 PM

H8R
wear sumthin tight
60155 Posts
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hahaha



[Edited on April 26, 2010 at 4:41 PM. Reason : sorry, for chit chat]

4/26/2010 4:39:24 PM

disco_stu
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Quote :
"Not technically inept but:

I had a 'GoToMeeting' today with one our our vendors and he pulls up a firefox window to show me something. His theme was Tinkerbell with animated sparkling glitter. I couldn't talk for about a minute without risking a laugh coming out."


Did a WebEx with a client who has The Rock in a hottub as her desktop background. I have muscle memory to hit my mute button.

4/26/2010 4:52:25 PM

HUR
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17732 Posts
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My girlfriend has an ad on craigslist for her bike.

A woman sent her an e-mail concerning her add, gf fowards it to me to look at.

I tell her to contact the woman to make arrangements.

Girlfriend sounds confused and states that their is no number to contact her.

I say, e-mail her to which i get the reply "what e-mail, I don't see an e-mail address"

DOH!!! Blind moment!

4/26/2010 11:54:07 PM

ambrosia1231
eeeeeeeeeevil
76471 Posts
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"Do you all have we-fye?"

"Network ID? Where do I find that?" (She was looking for something tangible to plug into)

5/10/2010 12:33:28 PM

Wraith
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27190 Posts
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Quote :
"Did a WebEx with a client who has The Rock in a hottub as her desktop background."


hahahaha I just have a standard desktop background here at work but out of professionalism I just share applications (not entire desktop) whenever I'm using webex. I'd imagine most people would do the same. Unless they want people to know how much they like The Rock.

5/11/2010 9:30:57 AM

disco_stu
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Clients are lemmings. It's not that they're necessarily stupid, but most of them follow your instructions to the letter without questioning them because they want to be able to blame you if shit goes south. They usually don't question when I ask them to share their desktop. Unless the question is "How do I do that? I don't see that button."

5/11/2010 9:36:17 AM

evan
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not really technically inept, i guess, considering he's at least trying to use samba 4... but still... how can you be that retarded to send an email like this? especially to a list like samba-technical...

still made me lawl, however.

5/12/2010 12:19:05 AM

raiden
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10504 Posts
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Quote :
"Linux represents the old school, with its mainframe like interface, and arcane secret programming languages. Porting the softwares to this platform involves hiring the hippies who understand this obtuse environment. These people are typically unreliable, and have difficulty living wth the regular 9-5 work ethic. They believe in intellectual property theft, free love, substance abuse, and marxism.

Microsoft has solved these issues in one brilliant sweep by paying cash for access to these Linux secrets, by making these cross patent deals with the linux 'Vendors'. This will allow for the interoperability that the corporations so dearly wish for - the ability to run the Microsoft Office, and the IE7, as well as the Vista on top of this growing but amorphous mass known as 'The Linux'.

In a short time we will all soon see the benefits of these cross licencing deals, and the softwares will expand out their user bases and be seen everywhere. Even the most die hard linux afficionado with matted hair and a red armband will salivate at the prospect of being able to run the IE7 on his precious linux."

5/13/2010 1:58:35 PM

ambrosia1231
eeeeeeeeeevil
76471 Posts
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Uh...wtf


That sounds even worse the kind of shit my crazy mother says when she's stoned.

5/13/2010 3:08:20 PM

se7entythree
YOSHIYOSHI
17375 Posts
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this kinda fits here...

i went into radio shack today w/ Fumbler to get some soldering stuff. when we got out of the car they yelled at us from a loudspeaker outside that they're giving away free cell phones w/ bluetooth. we were the only customers. we go in and start looking at stuff, i'm trying cases on my iphone, then browsing tww while i waited for chris. an older employee comes up and offers us a cell phone with "a bluetooth"...i said no thanks i have an iphone. he says he can see that, then asks

so are you going to get that new application when it comes out?

ummmm which new app?

it's really cool. it lets you run a lot of applications at one time.

ohhhh the update to the operating system. i'm not sure. i read that there's no autocorrection & you can only zoom to 2 levels in safari, not just however much you want. if they don't fix that, then no i won't upgrade.

running multiple applications will be really cool

the only way i'd probably upgrade is if that new phone is for verizon.

you can upgrade if you have the 3....g......s

this is a 3gs.

----

later, chris asked him if either of these two thermal compounds (or something like that) were adhesive. the guy answers with "well they use that to fix xbox 360s". WTF

5/15/2010 9:12:00 PM

A Tanzarian
drip drip boom
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It's been a LONG time since anyone technically competent has worked at Radio Shack.

I bought some capacitors at Radio Shack once. The girl at the register asked what they were.

"Capacitors"

"Oh, cool!"

5/15/2010 9:21:59 PM

wwwebsurfer
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10217 Posts
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I miss those huge cases of assorted resistors, caps, and pots. Many a creation was completed via radioshack.

Now they're just a phone reseller with a few audio adapters and home theater cabling. So sad...

5/16/2010 8:01:26 PM

El Nachó
special helper
16370 Posts
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Quote :
"i read that there's no autocorrection & you can only zoom to 2 levels in safari, not just however much you want."


Wat?

5/16/2010 8:47:47 PM

se7entythree
YOSHIYOSHI
17375 Posts
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Yeah, read it in the iPhone thread. That may have been incorrect, but that's what I read.

5/19/2010 8:08:09 AM

HaLo
All American
14089 Posts
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That's the problem with opera for the iPhone.

5/19/2010 12:23:49 PM

1985
All American
2174 Posts
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When people send you an email, then IM you to tell you they've sent you an email and before you can respond to the IM, they are in your office telling you the same shit they said in the email.

These things are for efficiency people, not triple backup plans....

6/8/2010 12:43:45 PM

Solinari
All American
16957 Posts
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I've done that before... Depends on the urgency

6/8/2010 12:57:41 PM

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