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 Message Boards » » Really Disappointing Sexual Encounters Page 1 [2] 3 4 5 6 ... 10, Prev Next  
Slave Famous
Become Wrath
34079 Posts
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Question for girls:

If the dude busts early, obviously you're dissapointed. But if he can get back to turgid form in a matter of minutes, does this redeem him, or are you still thinking he's a joke?

8/9/2010 12:02:39 PM

BigHitSunday
Dick Danger
51059 Posts
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One minute...two minutes...3 minutes
Hell naw, to please me you gotta sleep in it

8/9/2010 12:03:14 PM

LivinProof78
All American
49373 Posts
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Quote :
"why didn't you get him drunk to help him last longer?"


he was

[Edited on August 9, 2010 at 12:04 PM. Reason : ^^he gets the benefit of the doubt]

8/9/2010 12:03:35 PM

EMCE
balls deep
89696 Posts
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I lost a bet with some friends, and had to bwn Kiwi. Long story short: when she gets excited, she starting barking like a dog.

[Edited on August 9, 2010 at 12:07 PM. Reason : arf]

8/9/2010 12:03:52 PM

Jeepin4x4
#Pack9
35771 Posts
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Quote :
"^youve never had an 8 or 9"



everyone gets lucky once or twice

8/9/2010 12:12:10 PM

BigHitSunday
Dick Danger
51059 Posts
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8/9/2010 12:13:24 PM

Slave Famous
Become Wrath
34079 Posts
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Jeepin is a good looking guy

Also, he looks different every time you see him, so he could theoretically fuck the same girl twice with her thinking it was two different dudes who just happened to both have pear shaped cocks

8/9/2010 12:13:39 PM

bassjunkie
All American
3093 Posts
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i pulled out of this meaty cougar one time and a baby possum darted out and started scurrying around the room. scared the shit out of me

8/9/2010 12:14:19 PM

Kiwi
All American
38546 Posts
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haha fuck you pal.

My most disappointing experience is the PREMATURE EJACULATOR. I mean if you gotta be like WAIT, GIRL, DON'T MOVE, LET'S JUST SIT HERE NOT MOVING FOR A FEW SECONDS, YEAH, ISN'T THIS NICE? then you STILL splooge WHEN I DIDN'T MOVE OR ANYTHING, well you suck.

One time during your first sexing can be forgiven, a span of three yrs of that shit is just unacceptable. Pity fucking, that's what we call it. haha

8/9/2010 12:14:37 PM

poopface
All American
29367 Posts
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^^hahahahahahaha

[Edited on August 9, 2010 at 12:16 PM. Reason : kj]

8/9/2010 12:14:43 PM

ncstatetke
All American
41128 Posts
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i'm trying to envision a pear-shaped wiener

8/9/2010 12:15:11 PM

grimx
#maketwwgreatagain
32337 Posts
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^^^ bwahahahahahahhahahahaha



[Edited on August 9, 2010 at 12:16 PM. Reason : ^]

8/9/2010 12:15:14 PM

dharney
All American
4445 Posts
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there's not enough pity fucking going on in the world


shameful

8/9/2010 12:15:19 PM

EMCE
balls deep
89696 Posts
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Yanthemanv called out do not lie

8/9/2010 12:16:33 PM

BigHitSunday
Dick Danger
51059 Posts
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i like where this thread is going

[Edited on August 9, 2010 at 12:17 PM. Reason : ...it went there]

8/9/2010 12:16:36 PM

Kiwi
All American
38546 Posts
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haha I'll never tell.

8/9/2010 12:17:43 PM

grimx
#maketwwgreatagain
32337 Posts
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the whole "3 years" part gave it away

8/9/2010 12:18:28 PM

Jeepin4x4
#Pack9
35771 Posts
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8/9/2010 12:18:52 PM

BigHitSunday
Dick Danger
51059 Posts
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i guess you had what it took to light his menora

8/9/2010 12:19:08 PM

Kiwi
All American
38546 Posts
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I mean, there could have been a fuck buddy for that long, haha YOU DON'T KNOW.

8/9/2010 12:19:14 PM

BigHitSunday
Dick Danger
51059 Posts
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i mean i spent three years tryna hit that so it coulda been me

8/9/2010 12:19:47 PM

saps852
New Recruit
80068 Posts
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all of them

well...

except that one

8/9/2010 12:20:13 PM

Kiwi
All American
38546 Posts
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hahaha bighit, for some reason I do not think you'd be bad in bed.

I've had some really freaky freaks too but they still beat out mr. blow my load sitting still.

8/9/2010 12:22:14 PM

dharney
All American
4445 Posts
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i, too, know what sex is like.....i had one once

8/9/2010 1:02:56 PM

TKE-Teg
All American
43383 Posts
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Quote :
"I'm thinking the bean bag reference means, as NyM stated, a girl who is "skinny fat" in that her body looks good but has poor composition, relatively little vascular mass and soft pouches of subcutaneous fat where there should be toned muscle."


The last girl I slept with was like this. She was skinny and bragged about how she was thin yet hadn't worked out in years. She had some nice tits though, and the sex was pretty good. Then again when you're fucking a bipolar chick with multiple personalities it tends to deliver.



also, I'd wanted to fuck her 8 yrs ago but it didn't happen. Last month it did. I'd call that a win.

8/9/2010 1:10:32 PM

pilgrimshoes
Suspended
63151 Posts
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it wasnt really disappointing but kinda bizarre so ill post it here

had taken this girl home from a bar, let me lay out the scenario

she's standing up leaning over the couch arm, bent over. im rubberin' myself up, she looks over her shoulder and says and i quote

"if you cum in me i'll slit your fucking throat"

8/9/2010 1:10:56 PM

TKE-Teg
All American
43383 Posts
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so did you jizz in her eyes?

8/9/2010 1:11:50 PM

BubbleBobble
:3
113766 Posts
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Quote :
"There was this girl I was into for years. It was one of those situations where she was the girl I was into and it was one of those situations where a guy is super into a girl and she think of him as a best friend."


so wait wait

what are you trying to say here

that you're into the girl? I don't know man you're sending mixed messages

8/9/2010 1:12:38 PM

kiljadn
All American
44689 Posts
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stay classy random bar girl

8/9/2010 1:13:37 PM

zxappeal
All American
26824 Posts
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Lordy...ex was just bad. Boring as fuck, uptight, not adventurous.

8/9/2010 1:13:57 PM

BubbleBobble
:3
113766 Posts
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Quote :
"but DTR was pretty acceptable there."


except really no one over 16 should know what that means

8/9/2010 1:16:18 PM

BubbleBobble
:3
113766 Posts
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Quote :
"but DTR was pretty acceptable there."


except really no one over 20 should know what that means

8/9/2010 1:16:18 PM

BubbleBobble
:3
113766 Posts
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Quote :
"but DTR was pretty acceptable there."


except really no one over 12 should know what that means

8/9/2010 1:16:19 PM

BubbleBobble
:3
113766 Posts
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damn there was supposed to be a "12" in there too

to make it the triple combo



ah there we go

out of sequence

8/9/2010 1:16:54 PM

ncstatetke
All American
41128 Posts
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LOL @ virgins posting in a sex thread


that's like me posting in a Star Trek/Star Wars/LOTR thread

8/9/2010 1:19:41 PM

djeternal
Bee Hugger
62661 Posts
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1 word: Vaginosis

Thankfully I have only experienced it twice

8/9/2010 1:21:11 PM

dharney
All American
4445 Posts
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Quote :
"LOL @ virgins posting in a sex thread


that's like me posting in a Star Trek/Star Wars/LOTR thread.....which is all the time!"

8/9/2010 1:21:42 PM

jbrick83
All American
23447 Posts
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My last girlfriend was somewhat of a disappointment. She was very quick to orgasm and usually had multiples every time we had sex. But she was also extremely loud and was a big pincher and scratcher...like would leave marks and shit. So every time I'm getting excited, she would come and fuck up my flow by pinching the fuck out of me.

It just resulted in many sexual counters where she would come like 3 or 4 times and I wouldn't bust a nut. It did wonders for my ego as a pipe layer, but as the relationship wore on, I got tired of not getting off.

8/9/2010 1:38:14 PM

Jeepin4x4
#Pack9
35771 Posts
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sometimes the flash from DROD900's camera across the room would really make for uncomfortable hook ups. but then i told them it was just his alarm clock.

8/9/2010 1:38:54 PM

djeternal
Bee Hugger
62661 Posts
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Quote :
"Lordy...ex was just bad. Boring as fuck, uptight, not adventurous."

8/9/2010 1:46:16 PM

zxappeal
All American
26824 Posts
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Quote :
"Well when we eventually got naked her body looked great but every where on her felt like an excessively used bean bag chair. They chemistry was there and everything but I couldn't get past that feel. The next day we had a DTR and I told her we should just be friends. That was 5 years ago, and we have since talked only a handful of times.

Certainly i'm not alone here"


Been thinking about this...and I can honestly say if the chemistry's really there, then you would have been much more able to overlook that...in my opinion, when you're with somebody that you really dig, the body thing isn't nearly as critical...at least it's that way with me. That shit kinda sounds shallow.

8/9/2010 1:48:57 PM

Skwinkle
burritotomyface
19447 Posts
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Do girls really go around being like "hey I'm really awesome at sex" often? And do they not realize that guys just tell them that so they will do things?

[Edited on August 9, 2010 at 1:49 PM. Reason : ^ you say shallow like it's a bad thing]

8/9/2010 1:48:59 PM

zxappeal
All American
26824 Posts
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When we started dating, my ex used to say she was awesome in bed, blah blah blah. Sadly, nothing could have been further from the truth.

I dunno...the more physically perfect ones I've had have turned out to be only so-so...but others not so perfect have turned out to be absolutely incredible. But...a certain degree of physical attraction HAS to be there, or the deed will never get done.

8/9/2010 1:53:06 PM

JeffreyBSG
All American
10165 Posts
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I haven't fucked too many women

I guess my #1 is when I was fucking my ex and she started go "Oh God, I'm cumming I'm cumming" and then I came like 5 seconds later and she said "Shit"

come to think of it, I believe that was the last time we had sex before she broke up with me

8/9/2010 1:55:03 PM

zxappeal
All American
26824 Posts
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Unless you're wearing a jimmy lid, just keep pumping! Hell, I'll keep going after sometimes even if I'm wearing a condom...

8/9/2010 1:56:59 PM

JeffreyBSG
All American
10165 Posts
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I cannot stab someone through the heart with a hot dog

nor fuck with a limp dick

8/9/2010 2:00:13 PM

Fareako
Shitter Pilot
10238 Posts
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TMI ITT

8/9/2010 2:04:42 PM

djeternal
Bee Hugger
62661 Posts
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I have never met a chick that didn't think she gave the best blowjobs in the world

8/9/2010 2:06:02 PM

Skwinkle
burritotomyface
19447 Posts
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women are kind of idiots

8/9/2010 2:06:58 PM

Kiwi
All American
38546 Posts
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One of my friends dated a pretty hot guy for a few months and when it ended I asked her why. She said during sex he would frequently go limp for no reason. Now, she's pretty fucking hot so it can't be her unless she has some sort of issue I would not know about.

I would say that would have to be a pretty shitty experience. She said it happened a lot too, lame.

8/9/2010 2:08:09 PM

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