Quote :

"sometimes i'm unsure as to whether it's just morning wood or sexually acceptable wood...and if the dude will get upset if i make the wrong call"

If a dude is in bed with you, he wants to do you.

8/10/2010 10:25:32 AM

^ Even if it's a dude in bed with a dude?

[Edited on August 10, 2010 at 10:33 AM. Reason : ]

8/10/2010 10:33:05 AM

nah, i was talking just to her

(well, pretty much to broads in general)

8/10/2010 10:35:37 AM

I think I was being used during my most recent sexual encounter...and it was fine by me.

8/10/2010 10:35:39 AM

8/10/2010 10:44:06 AM

hahaha

8/10/2010 10:51:46 AM

Quote :

"haha...that's cute"

8/10/2010 10:56:41 AM

Lately, they've been anything but disappointing. 'Bout time...

8/10/2010 11:40:18 AM

plenty of chicks have had these with me

8/10/2010 11:48:06 AM

Quote :

"Balcony sex > 20 floors up is one of life's true pleasures"

+1

8/10/2010 12:43:45 PM

Didn't marciaf die from falling off a balcony

8/10/2010 12:44:36 PM

I guess that would be truly disappointing

8/10/2010 1:09:52 PM

It would start very satisfying but would quickly...fall off.

8/10/2010 1:11:38 PM

pull-out method taken too far

8/10/2010 1:12:18 PM

YEEEAAAHHH

8/10/2010 1:32:36 PM

Quote :

"i'm telling brewbaker you are talking about him ITT"

EPIC LULZ

8/10/2010 6:42:15 PM

8/11/2010 12:34:08 AM

It's funny, because their clothes are different than my clothes!

8/11/2010 12:35:41 AM

Met a super hot guy at a party, a foreign exchange student soccer player (and former muslim) from Kyrgystan or Kazakstan or something (this was years before Borat), started making out and I was super excited because he was so hot looking... went to a spare room and he whipped out his umm, well, it's hard to even call it a cock b/c it was that tiny. Like maybe the size of my thumb. This is bad enough, but I'm still like, sure whatever, cock size isn't everything, let's proceed to foreplay. He's trying like crazy to skip foreplay and go to the sex... I find out why when he cums 15s after I touch his dick.

Lessons learned: 1) Soccer players have small dicks
2)Don't ever hook up w/ a muslim who believed masturbating was a sin before he came to the US

[Edited on August 11, 2010 at 1:32 AM. Reason : sdf]

8/11/2010 1:31:40 AM

lol

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

[Edited on August 11, 2010 at 1:35 AM. Reason : nvm]

8/11/2010 1:34:52 AM

if you think muslims are bad you should try having sex with a viking...

i take it back...no you shouldn't....nobody should...

it's really a lot worse


your muslim makes my viking sound like the energizer bunny

[Edited on August 11, 2010 at 1:37 AM. Reason : asdf]

8/11/2010 1:36:51 AM

there are real muslims, there are no real vikings

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

[Edited on August 11, 2010 at 1:37 AM. Reason : unless you mean like minnesota]

8/11/2010 1:37:39 AM

he's from minnesota...

his name is olaf

he has a sister named inga and a brother named thor

he's tall and very blonde

you tell me he's not a viking

8/11/2010 1:39:41 AM

Quote :

"i have found the ones that can go all night are really pretty shitty at what they are doing...it's all just drunk wannabe porn star fucking...like they are jack hammering something... it's a completely different story if they can go...get off...go again...get off again...and then go again."

totally true. <3 the guy that can go multiple rounds. Anything longer than 1hr is going to leave me bored tho. Jackhammering has its place, but really only when the guy is about to cum or I'm close (preferably both).


^Oh yeah, funny thing about that... That party was in Minnesota

8/11/2010 1:44:48 AM

no, there are vikings, theres one that works at jackpot and he's so sexy

please don't say these things and ruin the fantasy

8/11/2010 1:46:05 AM

well reference my original post in this thread...

Quote :

"the one guy that lasted all of 15 seconds... and that was a grand total over the span of 3 different different encounters "

8/11/2010 1:49:12 AM

Oh SNAP and vikings remind me of this other horrible encounter. Hooked up with another cute guy-- blonde, muscular, from Wisconsin or something. Once again, small dick and it kept getting soft b/c he was super drunk, and his body was not as hot once he had his clothes off. To top it off, he kept letting out horrendous farts and I just wanted to leave but he wouldn't/couldn't cum. Finally I stopped being nice and made up some lame excuse and left.

Just Ick.

8/11/2010 1:50:56 AM

I have never had a guy fart on me during sex, EVER (at least not to my knowledge)

8/11/2010 1:53:13 AM

^^^^ Don't worry, there are hot vikings. This other guy I dated was 6'6", blonde, and with a cock to match... can we say hung like a horse? Unfortunately he didn't inherit the fierce qualities of his ancestors... he was more a lover than a pillager.

Yeah... they were the silent but deadly kind. blargh.

[Edited on August 11, 2010 at 1:54 AM. Reason : df]

8/11/2010 1:53:25 AM

i wonder how disappointing it would be to have sex in the bathroom at arby's

8/11/2010 1:56:25 AM

8/11/2010 1:59:02 AM

I have this feeling you wouldn't be the least bit disappointed



also, the talk about vikings and pillaging... i gotta put myself to bed. He's hot enough as is without the added thoughts

8/11/2010 2:01:34 AM

One last comment then I'm off to bed as well.

Quote :

" i've seen some that will be all "oh im TOTALLY into it" and then spend like 15 nanoseconds down there and are done "

You're talking about guys right? Cause that's how it almost always is. Some guy says how great they are and how much they love doing it... and I really enjoy giving head too, so I usually start but then they either don't even attempt to go down on me, or go down for 15s, just long enough to make sure I'm all lubed up.

Ugh guys.

8/11/2010 2:04:49 AM

over the past ~4 years ive only had one guy that didn't love to take a venture down there

8/11/2010 2:09:30 AM

Quote :

"just long enough to make sure I'm all lubed up. "

oldest trick in book,/]

8/11/2010 8:08:04 AM

Don't mind staying down there for as long as it takes...and longer... Recently got my face DRENCHED...she was a gusher. YES!

8/11/2010 9:48:10 AM

Quote :

"Do girls really go around being like "hey I'm really awesome at sex" often? And do they not realize that guys just tell them that so they will do things?"

i know a girl who tells people she's awesome at sex. well she sexxed up 1 or 5 of my guy friends and they all said the same thing - she sucked in bed.

8/11/2010 11:03:29 AM

Girls who claim to be great at sex who turn out to be bad at sex actually mean that they're willing to do anal.

8/11/2010 11:04:14 AM

^i will put that hypothesis to the test.

8/11/2010 11:07:07 AM

in my experences if found that moms are more likely to be more anal receptive than non-moms.

and...

im usually pretty good at lasting long enough for the girl to either have an orgasm or fake one, but ill tell you all one thing, if i think about LP78 for even a micro second, the big 'O' train pulls into the station and its all over...

8/11/2010 1:05:23 PM

thats pretty creepy

8/11/2010 1:06:37 PM

i've faked an orgasm just to have an encounter end before.

i was over it while it was still happening.

as a dude, this takes some talent to not be spotted.

8/11/2010 1:08:51 PM

I ALWAYS get my nut one way or another

Be it inside her, outside her or onto the headboard

[Edited on August 11, 2010 at 1:14 PM. Reason : x]

8/11/2010 1:13:53 PM

i've never had to fake getting off, but there have been a few occurances where i've really had to help myself or speed it up one way or another just because she wasn't getting it done or i wasn't into it.

Quote :

"in my experences if found that moms are more likely to be more anal receptive than non-moms. "

now this, i want to test out as well.


i've also learned that single wedding planners/coordinators are the complete opposite of disappointing sexual encounters

8/11/2010 1:14:47 PM

I, too, have faked an orgasm. But that was when I still cared about girls' feelings.

Now, if I get bored, I'm ok with just getting up and leaving.

8/11/2010 1:15:28 PM

if not getting off was the basis for disappointing sexual encounters then i've been really disappointed since about 2005

[Edited on August 11, 2010 at 1:19 PM. Reason : asdfa]

8/11/2010 1:18:53 PM

you just need better partners.

8/11/2010 1:19:40 PM

i had a girl once accuse me of faking an orgasm. I really dont see how that was possible

8/11/2010 1:20:38 PM

^^no...it's my problem...and i'm very well aware of it...

if i've had anything at all to drink then it's just not happening unless you have some super power...

[Edited on August 11, 2010 at 1:21 PM. Reason : that doesn't mean i can't enjoy it though]

8/11/2010 1:21:13 PM

Quote :

"if not getting off was the basis for disappointing sexual encounters then i've been really disappointed since about 2005"

You need to pick better.

If each partner doesn't have at least two or three (unless catching a quickie in a public restroom or the like) orgasms...then somethin' ain't goin' down right.

8/11/2010 1:21:47 PM