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 Message Boards » » Really Disappointing Sexual Encounters Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 [7] 8 9 10, Prev Next  
LivinProof78
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Quote :
"then somethin'one ain't goin' down right"


fixed it for you

[Edited on August 11, 2010 at 1:25 PM. Reason : i have met 3 dudes with the necessary super power...and i didn't sleep with any of them]

8/11/2010 1:24:47 PM

longbow_fc
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i bet my superpowers would do the trick.

8/11/2010 1:30:01 PM

zxappeal
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Now you've met four...but I'm not available either.

8/11/2010 1:30:29 PM

TKE-Teg
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I had a stretch a few years ago where I slept with 3-4 girls (over that few years) and didn't have an orgasm with any of them.


Those...those were dark days


(fucking condoms)

8/11/2010 1:30:44 PM

m52ncsu
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did you try different kinds? some are better than others.

8/11/2010 1:32:06 PM

zxappeal
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Trojan Supra is the deal if you HAVE to use the goddamn things.

8/11/2010 1:33:13 PM

pilgrimshoes
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Quote :
"If each partner doesn't have at least two or three (unless catching a quickie in a public restroom or the like) orgasms...then somethin' ain't goin' down right."


every fuck who can't get any in real life says things like this on the internet

hell, spontaneous constantly talks abotu how he gets girls off for mutliples, and we all know he's full of it.

I told her i could get every woman on earth off, i'm a sexual god. on the internet.




lullerskates

8/11/2010 1:33:22 PM

TKE-Teg
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^^&^^^yeah I tried several different kinds. Most of the "sensitive" ones don't fit for me, including Trojan Supras. I dunno off the top of my head which kind I have now but they transmit feeling pretty well. However, again they don't fit too well so I sometimes I have a tiny fear of the damn thing coming off and getting lost somewhere in the vag

8/11/2010 1:35:53 PM

longbow_fc
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i like the lifestyles ultra thin ones better than the trojans. to me they seem to be softer in the ring...

8/11/2010 1:36:32 PM

TKE-Teg
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Interesting to know. Sometimes that ring feels like a fucking noose.

8/11/2010 1:40:02 PM

pilgrimshoes
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[Edited on August 11, 2010 at 1:41 PM. Reason : e]

8/11/2010 1:40:47 PM

zxappeal
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nah, actually been kind of lucky in that department lately. But I have to admit, a lot of it boils down to sexual chemistry. If it's there, the multiples are much more likely to happen. If not, hang it up. The latest...the chemistry's so strong it's spooky.

8/11/2010 1:41:31 PM

bottombaby
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Quote :
"Trojan Supra is the deal if you HAVE to use the goddamn things."


My husband is very allergic to latex and we used Supra back when we were dating. I think I had to go get the morning after pill at least twice because the damned things would tear or break. They're not great condoms.

I'm interested in trying the new Lifestyles Skyn condom. It's made out of polyisoprene, "a natural rubber with the strength and sensitivity of latex."

8/11/2010 1:45:00 PM

pilgrimshoes
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only because i read this this morning and found it humorous, and there's a condom discussion going on....

Quote :
"Dr. J:

So I recently put in a raised garden in my backyard and decided to start a compost bin. I was researching online for what was compostable and came across this fact: Latex is a natural biodegradable material and can be composted. Therefore, it said that used condoms could be put in the compost bin. This raises a few questions. Should I try this and see if my "seed" will create a yield of super prize-winning vegetables, or is this just too weird? Also, if I do this, should I tell others about my secret formula and if so, should I mention it before or after they taste the harvest?

Oh, I think you have to do it. No question. Imagine tossing your manbutter in that compost bin and seeing a fucking giant beanstalk erupt out of the heap. I'd be so proud. I'd show it off to everyone. Look at these beans! They're so virile! My sperm gives life to the earth!

I've been curious about composting for a while. Not because I care about nature or anything. Nature can eat hog. I'm just interested in the idea of throwing shit into a pile and letting it sit there. It appeals to the lazy person in me. When I was single and had an apartment in New York, I never cleaned the place. Ever. It was repulsive. If I used a dish, that dish didn't get cleaned for months. I used every last dish in the cabinet before even considering washing the dishes (I had no dishwasher). And when there were no dishes, I'd eat off a dirty plate or one of the many bar towels I stole from pubs across the UK. You haven't lived until you've eaten chicken off a bar towel.

When you leave dirty dishes in a sink that long, bad things happen. I'd go to start washing the dishes and a thick blue mold had grown over every dish in the pile. The whole kitchen smelled like Stilton. It was disgusting, and yet I was oddly proud that I was filthy enough to leave that sort of unholy nastiness in my sink. It made me feel like Nikki Sixx.

So that's why I'm interested in composting. I'd be totally jazzed to throw a bunch of used condoms in a pile and see what happens to it over time. Then someone could ask me what the pile was in the backyard and I could say, "Oh that? That my jizz pile. BECAUSE I LOVE THE ENVIRONMENT." But really, I'm just thrilled by the idea of rotting jizz in my backyard. That would be way cool.

When I was a kid, I didn't know anything about botany (still don't), so I'd conduct grand experiments in potential plant growth. I'd put a donut in a glass of juice and leave it on my windowsill for a week. I'd jack it into a Dixie Cup and then keep it under my bed for a month or two. Then I'd go to check and see if anything had grown, assuming my sperm had produced some kind of giant hydra monster. Instead all I found was a Dixie cup with a dried out skeet stain on it. This is why I don't garden. Ever."


http://deadspin.com/5609414/fun-with-composting-old-rubbers

8/11/2010 1:46:52 PM

longbow_fc
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Quote :
"Interesting to know. Sometimes that ring feels like a fucking noose."


with the Trojans, by the time im finished, the vien on the side looks like its about to bust, like its cutting off the circulation, and its sometimes painful to take off. with the lifestyles, it doesnt seem to be as bad.

[Edited on August 11, 2010 at 1:48 PM. Reason : ss]

8/11/2010 1:47:54 PM

zxappeal
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Got to admit, when I was with my wife, I pulled out more than once to find most of the condom gone.

She was allergic to latex, and Supra was the only alternative except for lambskin

8/11/2010 1:48:37 PM

longbow_fc
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geez, was she chewing on it?

8/11/2010 1:49:44 PM

m52ncsu
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Quote :
"I'm interested in trying the new Lifestyles Skyn condom."


girls like these because they feel like skin, BUT OMG THEY ARE FUCKING TERRIBLE!! you can't feel a goddamn thing with those.

8/11/2010 1:50:51 PM

bottombaby
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Supras are fucking trash. When I came in more than once for the morning after pill, I got the look and I had to explain the dealy-o on non-latex condoms.

Never used the lamb skin. Husband claims that they smell funny.

8/11/2010 1:51:25 PM

GeniuSxBoY
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People still use condoms?

8/11/2010 1:51:39 PM

zxappeal
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Quote :
"geez, was she chewing on it?"


No, they really do break easier than latex. And we had a...ahem...vigorous sex life.

Quote :
"People still use condoms?"


Not anymore I don't.


[Edited on August 11, 2010 at 1:52 PM. Reason : jimmyhatz]

8/11/2010 1:51:48 PM

bottombaby
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Before I was married, I did. I like my sex STD free, please.

8/11/2010 1:53:32 PM

TKE-Teg
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^^^fuck I wish I wasn't, but I haven't had a girlfriend that let me go rawdawg in years

Quote :
"we used Supra back when we were dating. I think I had to go get the morning after pill at least twice because the damned things would tear or break. They're not great condoms.
"


I've had those damn things break on me twice. Never again!

[Edited on August 11, 2010 at 1:56 PM. Reason : ^]

8/11/2010 1:55:23 PM

m52ncsu
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i feel the need to post again about how terrible the skyn condoms are, absolutely fucking terrible.

8/11/2010 1:55:40 PM

bottombaby
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lol

I thought about buying the Skyn condoms because I'm getting my IUD out in a week or two because we're going to start trying for another baby soon, but maybe I'll skip out on them if they're as horrible as you say.

8/11/2010 1:58:08 PM

m52ncsu
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i mean you'll like them, your husband won't feel shit though

8/11/2010 1:58:52 PM

bottombaby
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*lol*

Well, maybe I should give him an excuse to post in this thread.

8/11/2010 2:01:19 PM

GeniuSxBoY
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how many babies are you going for?

8/11/2010 2:04:47 PM

longbow_fc
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i do not line the skyn condoms. i will jack off before i use them things again...

they are like using a piece of PVC pipe as cover...

8/11/2010 2:06:34 PM

LivinProof78
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here's another disappointment...

i'm sorta like the good luck chuck of girls...

if you have sex with me then you're destined to meet some girl like 30 minutes later and fall in love with her meaning i don't get laid anymore....

this has like a 87% success rate...

so if you want to settle down then sleep with me

8/11/2010 2:23:59 PM

Tarun
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8/11/2010 2:26:17 PM

m52ncsu
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Quote :
"i'm sorta like the good luck chuck of girls..."

every girl i've dated or hooked up with on a regular basis (except the most recent) is married, engaged, or divorced

8/11/2010 2:29:10 PM

Fareako
Shitter Pilot
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^^^ Lol at your plug to get laid.

8/11/2010 2:30:25 PM

Jeepin4x4
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lol LP78, when i'm ready to settle down i'll make a trip to Raleigh.



i do not like condoms, but i tend to use them more times than not. I haven't found many that are truely comfortable.

i remember back in HS a friend gave me a big box of trojan magnums that was like 90% full and claimed he didn't need them anymore because his gf let him hit it raw. I will still to this day assume he has a tiny dick.

8/11/2010 2:32:55 PM

LivinProof78
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^^that definitely wasn't a plug to get laid...

i hate that shit...

it wasn't a sincere invitation


^the longer the amount of time invested in the guy the quicker the pay off...so you're in luck...

i mean...i've been trying to sleep with you for, what, 3 years now...

you'll probably get a text or phone call or something from some girl that you'll fall in love with before you're even finished



[Edited on August 11, 2010 at 2:38 PM. Reason : dsfsd]

8/11/2010 2:34:22 PM

TKE-Teg
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^lol.

Quote :
"every girl i've dated or hooked up with on a regular basis (except the most recent) is married, engaged, or divorced"


signed

8/11/2010 4:06:00 PM

kiljadn
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yo when did this thread turn into LP78's pity party plea for sex thread?



and look at all you sad motherfuckers throwing it at her.

8/11/2010 4:37:48 PM

LivinProof78
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8/11/2010 4:39:50 PM

Fermat
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Dude.

She'll suck your dick

8/11/2010 6:47:22 PM

zxappeal
All American
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Dude.

If I wasn't taken already, I'd lay it to her. And she would love it.

8/11/2010 6:52:24 PM

Restricted
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Page 7 needs more Brew

8/11/2010 7:24:44 PM

LivinProof78
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DAMN RIGHT!


internet is surse!

8/11/2010 8:11:38 PM

NyM410
J-E-T-S
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Am I one of the few people who just doesn't care about other people's sexual exploits/encounters? I mean I know so many people who would bug others I knew about every detail about their sex life. I've just never cared and find it a bit strange that people do. I know it sounds stupid, but to me it's just not something that I want to hear in conversation and I certainly have never been nor wanted to be as cavalier about telling about my S.O. in bed as so many people I know.

I guess I'm just odd. I hate drama and I hate gossip, so I guess this makes sense in a way.

p.s. - I know the internet is just one big dick swinging contest so this thread is par for the course but I'm talking about IRL.

[Edited on August 11, 2010 at 8:17 PM. Reason : x]

8/11/2010 8:16:32 PM

Jeepin4x4
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^i think it's easier to tell these stories and talk about them with strangers. With my best friends from home we used to talk and laugh about our exploits when we were all young and single and still laugh about some that happened back then to this day. But now most all of them are paired up in long term relationships and there is a quiet understanding that you really don't ask/tell about the sexual part of the relationship. And with me being the only one single they don't really like to hear about my escapades because it makes them jealous


so yeah, on the wolf web....bring on the stories. the more the better.

8/12/2010 8:17:20 AM

longbow_fc
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LP78, anytime you wanna bang, just grab a case of beer and look me up. i dont turn down chances to get nekked with a girl and run around the house screwing anywhere i think it might be fun...

edit: oh and i dont answer the phone or txt while im nekked...

[Edited on August 12, 2010 at 9:05 AM. Reason : 1]

8/12/2010 9:04:10 AM

LivinProof78
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i'll keep that in mind

8/12/2010 9:07:14 AM

Jeepin4x4
#Pack9
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^^i picture all of this happening with the benny hill theme playing in the background.

8/12/2010 9:23:35 AM

Biofreak70
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lol ok now that image had me rolling

8/12/2010 9:24:28 AM

LivinProof78
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you people better not be picturing me naked

[Edited on August 12, 2010 at 9:26 AM. Reason : asdf]

8/12/2010 9:25:46 AM

longbow_fc
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haha, i LOLed...

in fast motion too...

8/12/2010 9:26:02 AM

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