Hey Tdub. I just made this video and thought some of you guys could use a little help talking to girls IRL as well, so here you go.

Enjoy.

12/9/2010 2:49:34 PM

I prefer to open with "What up, its nice to meet ya, I'd like to treat ya to a Faygo and a slice of pizza, but I'm broke as fuck and I don't get paid till the first of next month, but if you care to join me, I was bout to roll this next blunt. But I ain't got no weed, no phillies, or no papers, plus I'm a rapist and a repeated prison escapist. So gimme all your money, and don't try nothing funny, cause you know your stinking ass is too fat to try to outrun me.

12/9/2010 2:53:26 PM

SO TELL THE TRUTH? ARE YOU IN A GANG? THEY'RE CUTE AND ALL, BUT ARE YOU IN A GANG?

12/9/2010 2:55:28 PM

OK, first, I'd slide up to the bar
and tell you that I can't believe how fucking fat you are.
I'd tell you that I like the way you make your titties shake
and if you lost a little weight you'd look like Rikki Lake!

12/9/2010 2:56:00 PM

^^Does not understand "delivery"

[Edited on December 9, 2010 at 2:56 PM. Reason : ^]

12/9/2010 2:56:32 PM

Slave,

That may be a good way to pick up a Juggalo chick, but not a good wholesome christian girl. duh.

[Edited on December 9, 2010 at 2:57 PM. Reason : .]

12/9/2010 2:56:39 PM

Hello, I'm Date Mike. Nice to meet me

12/9/2010 2:57:28 PM

1) situational opener
2) opinion opener
3) direct opener

got it.

12/9/2010 2:58:11 PM

i failed to see delivery in the video

12/9/2010 2:58:16 PM

Bwn, k?

12/9/2010 2:59:19 PM

In this thread, Bobby Light reveals his ignorance of Eminem.

12/9/2010 2:59:22 PM

^christ i was typing just that.

12/9/2010 2:59:35 PM

YOU'VE GOT TO WAKE UP PRETTY EARLY IN THE MORNING etc.

12/9/2010 2:59:56 PM

"i'm the big brother she's the little sister, i'm there to bring fun into her day" he forgot the flaw to his analogy its missing "AND BWN" which makes that statement

12/9/2010 3:01:01 PM

Quote :

"In this thread, Bobby Light reveals his ignorance of Eminem."

if he just would have left it the way he had it and not added the "Slave", he would have been right

[Edited on December 9, 2010 at 3:03 PM. Reason : a]

12/9/2010 3:02:50 PM

What's in his ears?

12/9/2010 3:03:29 PM

I couldn't stop staring at his teeth.

Also, is it that hard to talk to a woman? We never shut up!

[Edited on December 9, 2010 at 3:05 PM. Reason : t]

12/9/2010 3:04:47 PM

When dudes try to talk to a new girl, every other word in their head is sex. So it takes practice to read every other word in their head fluently.

12/9/2010 3:07:19 PM

Whatever happened to the classic strategy of:

1) Get too drunk at a party
2) Hook up with someone else who is too drunk
3) Awkward breakfast at IHOP
4) Repeat a couple of times
5) Mutually decide that you might as well just be dating because then you can have sex with more sobriety and less crippling shame

I understand this is a pretty common way to go about it. Hell, it led to by far my most successful relationship (although not really -- I took the bitch to Waffle House).

12/9/2010 3:07:44 PM

"So here are some pickup lines you can use at your church"

12/9/2010 3:08:11 PM

^^ we have more in common than I ever thought.

12/9/2010 3:08:21 PM

Ehh, I bought his latest album Recovery, but havent listened to Em since his first CD.

12/9/2010 3:08:44 PM

^^ ahaha

12/9/2010 3:08:53 PM

Quote :

"When dudes try to talk to a new girl, every other word in their head is sex. So it takes practice to read every other word in their head fluently."

Less talky talky. More touchy touchy.

12/9/2010 3:09:07 PM

you are faking the funk, punk

12/9/2010 3:09:14 PM

"I'm sorry if I looked much taller in my profile picture, I was standing on my wallet"

12/9/2010 3:09:50 PM

hahahahaah

Nerds try so fucking hard

12/9/2010 3:10:37 PM

"I'm tall where it counts."

12/9/2010 3:11:46 PM

Option #4

Hit on them over Facebook or TDub, establish rapport, set up date, WIN!!

12/9/2010 3:12:17 PM

I hate trying to start conversations with women I haven't met before.

I'd much prefer we adopted the canine ritual of just sniffing each others genitals.

12/9/2010 3:12:35 PM

"i'm short for my height"

12/9/2010 3:13:11 PM

When I was in college, my smoothest line was, "Hey, isn't your boyfriend in my Econ class?"

12/9/2010 3:13:36 PM

Quote :

"establish repport"

illiterate chicks ftw

12/9/2010 3:13:57 PM

My fav pickup line was: "I bought you a drink. It's rufie-free!"

12/9/2010 3:15:23 PM

i always wait for girls to give me that sly come-hither stare that strips my conscience bare

12/9/2010 3:15:54 PM

spill her drink, get her a new one. bam! foot in door.

12/9/2010 3:16:30 PM

I like the girls that ignore me. Its usually because they aren't attracted to me, but once every so often, its because they're playing hard to get. And thats when I POUNCE and move it for the kill.

12/9/2010 3:17:32 PM

You look like you are into fitness. Try fittin dis cock in your mouth.

12/9/2010 3:18:59 PM

Or the ever popular "What the difference between jelly and jam?"

12/9/2010 3:19:30 PM

Frosh, I thought your favorite line was "Can I buy you a hotdog from the Bragaw C-store?"

12/9/2010 3:19:32 PM

One of my roommates once had a surprising amount of success with just repeating "Let me hit that, girl" to a woman until finally she...let him hit that.

But the important thing when using any of these strategies is to keep in the back of your mind the secret to life: No matter how hot/interesting/interested she is, someone somewhere is tired of putting up with her shit.

12/9/2010 3:19:32 PM

1. Don't

/thread

12/9/2010 3:24:47 PM

^wat? ugay?

12/9/2010 3:25:22 PM

The trick to getting ass is to already be getting ass from someone else. Then you don't give a fuck and the girls try harder.

12/9/2010 3:25:47 PM

I open my conservation up with an opening offer based on appearance, mainly sex appeal, race and weight. I try to lowball her a little bit, not too much to make her feel worthless, but enough to make her know I mean business. Then she gets into my car, we do the nasty deed, and she leaves with her money.

12/9/2010 3:26:56 PM

^^ True. Desperation is unattractive.

[Edited on December 9, 2010 at 3:28 PM. Reason : f]

12/9/2010 3:27:53 PM

I honestly expected a link to the Ghostface thread

message_topic.aspx?topic=604544

[Edited on December 9, 2010 at 3:29 PM. Reason : noobing]

12/9/2010 3:29:26 PM

Quote :

"The trick to getting ass is to already be getting ass from someone else. Then you don't give a fuck and the girls try harder. "

i swear chicks can smell it on you or sense it when you're getting steady ass

12/9/2010 3:33:17 PM

The trick is to mix just the slight touch of perfume into your daily cologne. About 1 part perfume for every 7 parts cologne. Just enough to make it apparent to only superior nostrils.

12/9/2010 3:35:46 PM

^^.

In several breakups I've definitely pulled out "Do you know how much ass I've passed on because of you?!"

12/9/2010 3:35:48 PM