14 pages of fake

[Edited on July 19, 2008 at 12:22 PM. Reason : .]

7/19/2008 12:10:29 PM

why was it flagged? i bet there are at least 7 or 8 dudes that have fucked craigslist bitches on this site...at least...

7/19/2008 12:12:48 PM

holy shit...i just got 150 LPs from some dude that lived like 2 minutes from my parents house for free.

prince
led zep
the cars
van halen
bowie
marley
skynyrd
gnr
kiss
anthrax
aerosmith
acdc
jethro tull
peter gabriel
kraftwerk
faith no more
conan the barbarian sdtrk (lol)

damn and im just gettin started!

7/19/2008 1:43:37 PM

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/wan/761947617.html

Quote :

"I am in need of a copy of Windows XP service pack 2 upgrade, I am told thousands were distributed free a couple of years ago. I would really appreciate borrowing someones copy"

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/wan/761941441.html

Quote :

"I am a collector of the Victoria's Secret catalogs and am looking for someone who would like to donate their catalogs to me rather than just throwing them out. I can pick them up and I can even pay for them if you want. Please email me. Thanks!"

[Edited on July 20, 2008 at 11:31 AM. Reason : jjhy]

7/20/2008 11:30:46 AM

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/w4m/759203532.html

Quote :

"This is an odd request but....."

7/20/2008 8:09:10 PM

Holy shit. Whether he wants a teenager, or an anorexic, he's looking to break someone. Physically.

Quote :

"39 WM attracted to the very petite female - m4w - 39 (RLEIGH DURHAM) Reply to: pers-764548810@craigslist.org Date: 2008-07-21, 9:11PM EDT Are you 100lbs or less and looking some good discrete fun,maybe we can help each other.Looks aren't the most important issue being respectable is.Just looking to fool around a little bit.Let me know if you are interested.SERIOUS REPLYS ONLY"

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/msr/764548810.html

7/21/2008 11:58:19 PM

^^ this is an odd request, but....


R U UP 4 INSURANCE FRAUDZ???

7/22/2008 12:02:37 AM

wow...good deal but the grammar is stellar.

http://charlotte.craigslist.org/for/764678716.html

7/22/2008 1:12:12 AM

Quote :

""

Does anyone else think this guy's head is very, very small?

7/22/2008 1:24:25 AM

I keep waiting to see if any of my co-workers make it on here lol.

7/22/2008 2:24:20 AM

Quote :

"rave: love letter -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: 2003-11-21, 10:18AM EST Dear Terri, I know the counsellor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride's cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first move as long as one of us does. Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says... "There's no one like you, Terri." I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl at the Rainbow Room and brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation. She was young, Terri, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Tits you wouldn't believe and an ass like a tortoise shell. Every man's dream, right? But as I sat on the couch getting a hellacious barney by this coed, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so surface. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes. But you see what I'm getting at? Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Terri? I doubt it. And I'd never really thought of that before. I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little. Later, after I'd tossed her about a quart of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some niggling feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there, Terri, to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you, baby. Jesus, Terri, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you. Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at Second Baptist Church? Well, she drops by last week with a pan of "lasagna." She said she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what she really meant till later, but that's not the real story. Anyway, we have a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we're f* king in our old bedroom. And this broad's a total monster in the sack. She's giving me everything, you know like a real woman does when she's not hung up about God and her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad too. 'Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Terri ever put the mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex aid." (Some of this I thought about later.) You know what I mean? What happened to our spontaneity? You get so caught up in the routine of a marriage and you just lose sight of each other. And then you lose yourself. That's the saddest part of all for me. But I keep thinking we can get it back. I know we can, because I only want this stuff with you. Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Shannon's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders. She's been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in general. (She's pulling for us to get back together, Terri. She really is.) So we're drinking in the hot tub and talking about happier times. Here's this hot girl with the same DNA as you (although, let's face it, she got an extra helping of the sexy gene) and all I can do is think of how much she looks like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry. And then it turns out Shannon's really into the whole anal thing and that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fuelled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside the steaming hot Dutch oven of your sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? It's true, baby. In your heart you know it. Don't you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances and start fresh? I think we can. I keep thinking that I think if you'd just try it, I wouldn't have to pressure you so much. Because who needs all that bitterness, Terri? It just tears us apart. And I can't be apart from you. Because I love you, God help me but I do, please say yes. Love, Me xo "

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wdc/19689084.html

7/22/2008 11:54:39 AM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

7/22/2008 11:58:22 AM

^2ROFL

7/22/2008 12:31:03 PM

Quote :

"What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes. But you see what I'm getting at? Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Terri? I doubt it."

haha

7/22/2008 12:32:51 PM

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/msr/765219649.html

oh christ

you just have to click that one

7/22/2008 12:38:44 PM

toadface

7/22/2008 12:44:24 PM

blocked by work^^

7/22/2008 12:45:10 PM

Here

7/22/2008 12:46:27 PM

rave love letter was fucking funny as hell

7/22/2008 12:48:22 PM

Yo, Peter, when you coming back to rawley?

7/22/2008 12:53:29 PM

Quote :

"men thongs (near NCSU) Reply to: sale-766112217@craigslist.org Date: 2008-07-22, 10:13PM EDT if anybody has any Men Thongs ill buy one from u e-mail me if u have some gpharris@ncsu.edu "

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/wan/766112217.html

Quote :

"Need a math tutor to help raise GMAT score (North Raleigh) Reply to: sale-765586394@craigslist.org Date: 2008-07-22, 3:39PM EDT I am looking for someone to tutor me 2 or 3 nights a week for one to two hours in Basic, Int., and Advanced Algebra. There may be some other math involved as well, depending on the level of understanding. My quantitative scores are struggling on the GMAT and I need to either take an Algebra class or get a tutor to sharpen my skills.\ Please respond to the ad via email. Thanks!"

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/wan/765586394.html

[Edited on July 23, 2008 at 12:40 AM. Reason : dfg]

7/23/2008 12:37:43 AM

^somebody look up gpharris

7/23/2008 6:27:10 AM

yeah, that's pretty damn funny.

7/23/2008 6:28:12 AM

This is actually an email I got in response to a Data Recovery add run by a guy named Brian in the Charlotte craigslist. I emailed him and explained that I had a Lacie rugged that hasn't mounted properly since earlier this year. This is the response I got:

Quote :

"I can sure give it a go, I would try a couple things, and if successful, you pay me 140, if not successful, just 25 for my time. You will need to bring your drive to my house to put in my big,fast computer because I imagine you have a ton of GB's! Call, and we will make arrangements for you to come by 704.408.xxxx Brian"

Needless to say I didn't call him

7/23/2008 8:03:34 AM

^did you get that taken care of or no?

7/23/2008 8:20:50 AM

lol, yeah my new Maxtor 320 should be here today

7/23/2008 8:24:36 AM

^^^ Buffalo Bill?

7/23/2008 9:09:00 AM

that 54 year old lady is why I love America. Freedom to get caught in sticky situations.

7/23/2008 9:22:54 AM

Quote :

"I am a fun loving (see my picture) 'older' man. I want to whoop it up with some hot young honey for an evening of romance and friendship. We can go for long walks out to the mailbox or just take naps every day from 2PM to 4PM before having a nice meal of jello or maybe tapioca. I like cherry jello and also Gerber's applesauce. Me; I'm spry and get around nicely with my walker (it has a neat horn on it that my great, great niece gave me). I like to stay up late once a week to watch the evening news. You; prefer younger babe around 80 who likes to take long walks to the mailbox and back. Not too flatulent and as good looking as I am. Don't send pictures since I can't see anything."

http://wilmington.craigslist.org/m4w/765651232.html

7/23/2008 9:38:03 AM

hahaa, that just brightened my day

7/23/2008 9:40:48 AM

my pubic hair epiphany

Quote :

"Vaginas are pretty. Ok, I don’t actually think that’s true. Its not any sort of inner self loathing, I just don’t find all the wrinkly folds and the odd array of skin tones very awe inspiring. Perhaps it’s that my aesthetics meter just isn’t calibrated properly. I also fail to see splendor when I look at babies. Perhaps you just need to be more familiar with an object to truly appreciate its subtleties and grace. For example it always seems to be mothers spouting on about the gorgeousness of babies and porn stars talking about beautiful beavers. All this being said I had an epiphany recently. A vagina has enough going for it that it’s worth the extra effort to stop that unruly mop from hanging in its eyes. My old view which was, “why not let the poor thing live out its homely life in peace”, has been changed to “my muff is like Allison from The Breakfast Club”. You might remember Allison, she was the depressed, unsightly gal with crazy hair that covered most of her face. But, at the end she lets Molly Ringwald’s character do her hair and you realize she’s actually quite lovely. Where is Molly Ringwald when you need her? What would cause this type of 180 you ask, online video porn of course. I was just introduced to the wonders of YouTube-like porn sites by my husband who swears he only hears about such things from his vulgar co-workers. Being a modern sort of couple we like to use technology to our advantage whenever possible – which includes huddling around a laptop in bed watching raunchy homemade video porn vignettes. After some sheepish discussion on what keyword searches we should try (btw, Abercombie & Fitch model seducing average looking woman in a Tahitian hotel bar before taking her out to his yacht to have hot, sweaty, above deck sex doesn’t turn up any results, so don’t bother), we hit upon “Eating Pussy Lesson”. I was thinking we would get something along the lines of “the clit is not a myth” and “yes you do actually need to put your mouth on it to be successful”, but what I got was much, much better. I mature blond woman – still a looker but someone you genuinely felt you could take anatomical advice from – gave the lesson on a young buxom blond in a bustier. Our teacher furthered both the scientific and fetishistic quotient by wearing black rubber gloves. I won’t get into the details except to say that I learned a great deal from this woman and by the end felt that the vagina was a brilliant piece of equipment that should receive at least as much attention as a car does; a regular wash & wax and the occasional splurge on the deluxe wheel rim package with papaya scent. But let’s be realistic, rarely do epiphanies happen in a vacuum. There was a bit of a lead up to this. As I stated earlier I felt that my lower coif needed little attention and that this was a reasonable and widespread course of action. And of course I was right. The average American woman does choose to let nature take its course down below. However, as my recent anecdotal and completely unscientific research clearly indicates – the average single American woman between the ages of 20 and 35, who lives in an urban area (particularly in Southern California), waxes the shit out of her va-jay jay. Yes, that dreaded South American spa treatment, and the closest most of us will ever get to a lesbian sex act… the Brazilian wax job. I was in many ways shocked to learn that most of my friends partake. I thought there were few reasons girls like us might obtain a Brazilian. Among them might be an upcoming stint in Amateur Girls Take Hot Cock 7, or a date with Ron Jeremy. These otherwise normal women in my life were shelling out $70 a pop to let a small asian woman take them in a back room and rip out their anal hair. Yikes. One of my friends is actually lasering her beave completely bald. Double yikes. This last conversation was had over a round of beers at a local pub and I was the only one in the group who had to scoop her chin up off the table. The rest of the ladies felt this was not only a wise aesthetic choice, but smart from an economic point of view also. Pay several hundred dollars now but never have to pay for a wax job again, let alone a razor. Don’t be surprised if you see “laser yourself bald” as hot new tip for financially savvy females in Suze Orman’s next book. After my informal education I was certainly more aware that bush hair removal on a massive scale was far more common than I ever thought. Regular gals are out there with landing strips or nothing at all and I suppose regular guys have come to expect it. To think my poor husband had to work around all that fluff for years. But if you’re hoping for me to wrap this up with a Brazilian salon recommendation, you’re out of luck. I’m going to have to count myself as a moderate on this issue. I’ll go for an advanced bikini wax (a la landing strip), and I’ll even keep it nice and trim with a pair of safety scissors. But to whatever confused stray hairs made a right when they should have made a left and ended up doomed to a life next to my butt hole, I say live and let live. "

7/23/2008 1:59:35 PM

Quote :

"NO PICTURE NO RESPOND LEAVE A NUMBER SO I CAN CALL YOU AND GET TO KNOW HANG OUT WITH. "

wut?

7/23/2008 2:03:36 PM

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wdc/323692159.html

haha

7/24/2008 11:57:17 AM

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/cas/771565711.html

Quote :

"Sex deprived goth - w4m - 26 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reply to: pers-771565711@craigslist.org Date: 2008-07-27, 4:14AM EDT I am straight I love dick. I am looking for a dominat man who can fuck the hell out of me and leave me sore for days. I want a guy who is willing to try different things and is not tender if I wanted gentle sex I would masterbate. The only thing I wont do is ass fucking don't try and don't ask for it because my reply to that would be how bout I strap on a dildo and fuck you in the ass. Other than that do what you want to me Im open minded and love to be fucked I am a submissive goth. I enjoy sex but I'm not looking for love. I love going out and partying I drink occasionally. In the bedroom I am rather kinky I like bondage and role playing as well as blood. Other sexual things I enjoy is public sex and being bent over a headstone in a graveyard."

7/27/2008 8:39:43 AM

pics or stfu hahah ( to the goth chick )

7/27/2008 8:55:41 AM

I wanna fuck a hot goth chick over a headstone.

7/27/2008 9:51:45 AM

Quote :

"^somebody look up gpharris"

he doesn't have a facebook & he's not in the directory


UPDATE: http://raleigh.craigslist.org/sha/720988761.html

Quote :

"$420 roomate wanted (near NCSU) Reply to: gharrison.broughton_capitals@hotmail.com Date: 2008-06-15, 8:24PM EDT I am looking for a roommate to live with.. Im 19 years of age, I love the outdoors. Any race is welcomed. I am looking for a girl or a gay male. If u like what u here u can e-mail me gpharris@ncsu.edu or call cell 919 524 4791 brandon"

lmao, who wants to call him?

7/27/2008 10:21:12 AM

his shit has to be fake

7/27/2008 10:26:42 AM

Quote :

"that 54 year old lady is why I love America. Freedom to get caught in sticky situations."

the tax break from comitting fraud isn't enough of a return to let that old woman use your insurance.

that's stupid.

7/27/2008 11:18:58 AM

from the goth one.

Quote :

"how bout I strap on a dildo and fuck you in the ass."

7/27/2008 11:30:00 AM

Quote :

"hi josh.. according to mapquest.. it would take appr. 30 minutes to get to avent ferry from duke. so i could be there tomorrow morning a little afer 7:30am if htat is fine.. dont worry about straightening up.. you should see my house right now.. between getting my soon to be ex hubby's stuff packed and remodelling my house, mine is trashed also.. lol.. if tomorrow is fine.. i will call you when i get to the brigadoon entrance.. thanks.. *****"

Quote :

"no.. i am from michigan originally.. i do have exchange students that are from graham high though.. first ones graduated last year :-) ok.. i will see you in the morning :-) *****"

i'm just trying to sell this chick something...and she has to go in and start telling me about her ex hubby and shit...my boss was like damn why would someone tell someone else they dont know that

7/28/2008 11:46:31 AM

raleigh craigslist > etcetera jobs
please flag with care:

miscategorized

prohibited

spam/overpost

best of craigslist

Avoid scams and fraud by dealing locally! Beware any deal involving Western Union, Moneygram, wire transfer, cashier check, money order, shipping, escrow, or any promise of transaction protection/certification/guarantee. More info
JEWISH EGG DONOR NEEDED by LOVING JEWISH COUPLE $20,000+ not an agency

Reply to: lovetogiveandshare@yahoo.com
Date: 2008-07-29, 12:08AM EDT




JEWISH EGG DONOR NEEDED BY JEWISH COUPLE $20,000+ ALL EXPENSES PAID

Reply to: lovetogiveandshare@yahoo.com


"We would love you to be part of our miracle"

We are a loving, caring, Jewish couple who are accomplished, secure and happy. It would mean the world to us to share our love with a child and make our life truly complete.


We appreciate intelligence, education and learning. If you are a student it would be our pleasure to assist with your tuition and related expenses.


You are an ideal donor if you are:

- 100% Jewish - have a biological mother and father who are genetically Jewish
- a woman between 18 and 33 yrs. old.
- between 5' and 5'11"
- warm, caring, responsible, reliable
- motivated and passionate about what you do
- an individual with high self esteem
- highly intelligent with high IQ, SAT scores & GPA
- attractive
- at healthy body weight
- a non smoker and drug free
- free of genetic diseases (such as Tay-Sachs) in your primary blood line
- able to make about 5 visits to a highly respected Fertility Doctor.

You will not be carrying a pregnancy. You will not become pregnant.
You will be providing an egg.

Please e-mail us in confidence, what you feel is special about you, as well as whatever information you feel comfortable with sharing, including adressing the points above such as your age, SAT score, etc. and a recent photo if possible to lovetogiveandshare@yahoo.com


Compensation: JEWISH EGG DONOR NEEDED by LOVING JEWISH COUPLE $20,000+ ALL EXPENSES PAID
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 774161098

7/29/2008 11:21:28 AM

Posted in admin/office jobs:

Quote :

"Careerexperts.org is a sex predator from Canada (Raleigh/Durham) Reply to: job-784018809@craigslist.org Date: 2008-08-05, 12:40PM EDT This has been reported to the state police and the attorney general as he contacts women through Skype. DO NOT BELIVE THE BEGGING EMAILS. He uses the psuedonym Sister Mary Joeseph. * Location: Raleigh/Durham * Compensation: .00001 * Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster. * Please, no phone calls about this job! * Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests. "

wtf

8/5/2008 12:49:22 PM

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/act/783174444.html

Quote :

"Sexuail Encounter Group (Raleigh NC) Reply to: male1000us@yahoo.com Date: 2008-08-04, 7:36PM EDT This group for people that want to meet for sexuail encounter In the Local area people csn meetin a a park or at each other house "

[Edited on August 5, 2008 at 2:58 PM. Reason : pic]

8/5/2008 2:57:40 PM

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/sys/784131940.html

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that this card does not work anymore. Carpet? Really?

8/5/2008 3:12:27 PM

It'll be fine.

8/5/2008 3:13:33 PM

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/bik/784320722.html

Quote :

"To the person who sold a bike to IRA YARMOLENKO before she was killed"

^^^ haha "sexuail"

[Edited on August 5, 2008 at 8:26 PM. Reason : .]

8/5/2008 8:24:25 PM

Quote :

"You probably cant handle the truth -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: 2006-10-03, 7:06PM EDT I have been dating for almost two years now and ive finally decided to post everything about myself upfront to save the both of us time and aggravation. Normally you would find out in due time what i am about to tell you about myself, but i dont have the energy to go through all the dates, bonding and heartache of you leaving when you find out what i am truly like. SO here goes. I am 28, intellegent and have been told by many that i am beautiful. I own my own home, i am employed and independant. I consider myself to be very easy going, i love to laugh and im not materalistic. I love to cook, i enjoy camping, photography, gardeneing and history. I love music, mostly classic rock. I play the acoustic gutiar, i love doing laundry, i have 5 cats which i love to death and i do a dead on impersination of Cartman fron South Park. Behind closed doors, there is another side to me that many dont get to see. I do have some habits and traits that are unnattractive. Here they are in no particular order. -When i fart, ill bend over so i can smell it. I will usually take 2 or 3 smells as i like the smell of my farts. -when i scratch my ass, i smell my finger -Sometimes, no matter how much i wipe my ass, i still get skid marks in my thong or panties. -i pick my nose and eat it. -i have gone up to a month without brushing my teeth. -i have usually wear the same pair of panties for several days until they are crusted yellow in the crotch and they smell like ammonia. -I shower about once a week.(unless im working or have a date) - i let a dog lick my pussy once. -if i drop food on the floor, ill pick it up and eat it. I have also taken food out of my trash can and eaten it. -I used to use my ex roomates vibrator. -I had head lice for seven years and did nothing about it. -When i floss my teeth or pop zits, ill smell what came out. -I like to eat the fat from meat(i.e. steak fat, roast beef fat ect.) I also will eat the grisle and soft bones. - when i masterbate, i like to call myself a dirty slut out loud and i shove a tooth brush down my throat to make myself gag while i climax. -When i havent showered for a week, my arm pits stink like cheeseburgers, and my crotch smells like ammonia,urine and funk. -i usually dont wipe myself after i piss, which is probably the reason why my crotch smells the way i said above. Its probably why i end up with diaper rash between my legs. - i have an obsession with popping zits. i will for hours sit naked infront of a mirror and search my entire body for a zit to pop. And yours too. -I also have terrible acne on my ass - I lie. Alot. About everything. -Im a hypocrite. I will persicute others for something that i secretly do myself. -I have no guilty consious. -I am evil. If you do something to harm me, or even just piss me off, i will do whatever i can to make you miserable. I will stoop to the lowest levels. I will even resort to illegal activities to fuck someone over. -I am twofaced. I will greet you with open arms, and when you walk away, ill tell everyone still standing there that deep dark secret you were stupid enough to share with me. -I have no shame. I would fuck someone in my parents bed, i would snoop through someone elses stuff, i would pick my nose and wipe it on your pillow, i would keep your wallet if i found your purse, i would promise to drive you to see your dying mother and then not show so i could catch an episode of prison break, then lie to you and say my car broke down. - Ill sleep with anyone, and on the first date. -Ill make a promise with no intention of keeping it. So, thats me, in a nutshell. The good, the bad and the ugly. But you know what? I make a mean Spaghetti Sauce. "

holy shit she's gross although the next-before-last point is all it takes for 99% of the people here.

[Edited on August 6, 2008 at 10:20 AM. Reason : fail quote]

8/6/2008 10:20:33 AM

8/6/2008 11:11:42 AM

set em up

8/6/2008 11:21:50 AM