i read it umbrellaman.

9/30/2007 11:04:55 PM

i saw her again and it breaks my damned heart.

9/30/2007 11:30:28 PM

Quote :

"Will I stop waiting on a pretty girl to talk to me, take a chance, and strike up a conversation with her, or will I wait for so long that all the girls will be taken?"

dude, if you have something to say, for the love of god just say it! you don't need to think of something witty or charming, say what you want to say. what is the worst thing that could happen--she'll ignore you or tell you to fuck off and you'll be back to square one. you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain; you don't need to try so hard.

[Edited on September 30, 2007 at 11:44 PM. Reason : ^and you just gotta let that shit go, for real]

9/30/2007 11:43:46 PM

meh, thats easier said than done.

I had the misfortune of attending a military college and by the end of my 4 years my social skills had regressed to the point where my means of communicating interest in a girl involved either breaking her crayons or pulling her hair.

In his situation he needs confidence, getting shot down doesn't breed confidence and, as all men know, women, especially college women, can be heartless bitches at times.

That being said, confidence comes with experience, experience comes with fucking up. A lot.

And the real kicker is that its a lot easier to reside in myopic indifference than to change.

[Edited on September 30, 2007 at 11:51 PM. Reason : Simon and Garfunkle "I Am A Rock" comes to mind.]

9/30/2007 11:49:19 PM

^^ Yeah, you can tell people that (which really is the verifiable truth, and excellent advice anyway) all day long, but it doesn't help if they're still terrified of rejection. People really shouldn't be as uptight about it as they are. If you try to start a conversation with someone, it's fairly unlikely that they'll completely ignore you, even if the conversation doesn't go very far.

^ If we are capable of being heartless bitches, you (men, especially college men) are just as guilty of such. Don't play the blame game.

[Edited on September 30, 2007 at 11:53 PM. Reason : .]

9/30/2007 11:52:48 PM

Every time I see a pretty girl I think about kissing her neck and her boobs.

9/30/2007 11:54:00 PM

^^ *sigh* I'm not playing the "blame game", I'm tailoring my response to this specific situation.

unwad your g-ddamned panties woman.

[Edited on September 30, 2007 at 11:54 PM. Reason : not you ^ sorry]

9/30/2007 11:54:05 PM

They aren't in a bunch. I'm just saying.

9/30/2007 11:55:22 PM

Quote :

"Every time I see a pretty girl I think about kissing her neck and her boobs."

Go on....

9/30/2007 11:56:39 PM

Quote :

"dude, if you have something to say, for the love of god just say it! you don't need to think of something witty or charming, say what you want to say. what is the worst thing that could happen--she'll ignore you or tell you to fuck off and you'll be back to square one. you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain; you don't need to try so hard."

See here's the problem I see with that. Who walks up to complete strangers and just starts talking to them? That'd be like me walking up to you and being like "so how's the weather?" Do people really give a fuck about what some random Joe Q Stranger has to say? You can't just walk up to somebody and start talking to them, that requires that you both at least know each other or trust each other or something. I'm willing to bet that most people would tell that stranger to piss off, or at least feel uncomfortable having somebody they've never met before acting like they're buddy-buddy enough to be chatting. It's a complete mystery to me how people can even meet other people, let alone get to know them. Perhaps that's an indicator of how long I've lived in isolation from others, but I just don't see it happening, whether it's some cute girl or some random asshole who I doubt I'll ever bump into again.

[Edited on September 30, 2007 at 11:57 PM. Reason : didn't realize so many people posted already]

9/30/2007 11:56:46 PM

And then sometimes I think about ways I would fuck them if I had a penis.

9/30/2007 11:58:26 PM

I don't blame you.

I like to play the what would it be like if I was the opposite sex game too.

9/30/2007 11:59:57 PM

I think I'm just sexually frustrated. I haven't been fucked on a regular basis since April of '03.

10/1/2007 12:00:53 AM

10/1/2007 12:01:29 AM

Quote :

"Who walks up to complete strangers and just starts talking to them?"

normal people, who talk about normal things.

I'm assuming you're not normal, or at least you think you're not normal, or you don't want to be normal; all perfectly valid, I'm not calling you out, but normal people do this.

Of course, at least to me, what "normal people" talk about on a daily basis is fucking tedious. As a 28 y/o male who doesn't like sports, has never owned a game system, and whose mind is usually off on its own, I don't have shit to talk to people about. So I just ask questions.

[Edited on October 1, 2007 at 12:05 AM. Reason : ^^ how is that possible when you post on TWW? Unless, of course, you have standards ]

10/1/2007 12:02:35 AM

Quote :

"I'm willing to bet that most people would tell that stranger to piss off, or at least feel uncomfortable having somebody they've never met before acting like they're buddy-buddy enough to be chatting."

I had a guy stop and talk to me while I was on a way to an exam once. It wasn't that weird: he just introduced himself and said he thought I had a cool vibe (it's lame, but hey, I talked to him). We talked about school or something since I had to rush on to my exam, but it was at least flattering. I still remember his name, too. I don't know when everyone got into "DON'T TRUST ANYONE, EVEN WHEN YOU'RE IN A CROWD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY WALKING" thing. If it were at night and I was walking alone, that's different, but having a conversation with someone in passing isn't really a big deal. And even if you can't handle that, just try saying "Hi" to people as you pass them, regardless if you know them or not: you'll get more responses back than you probably figure.

Talking to people isn't a "buddy" activity: I talk to the receptionist when I go to the doctor, I talk to cashiers, I talk to customers at work, etc. It's really nowhere near as weird as you're making it out to be.

[Edited on October 1, 2007 at 12:04 AM. Reason : .]

10/1/2007 12:03:59 AM

I seriously have nothing to say to strangers. I absolutely hate small talk.


I have to have some sort of common ground to start out talking about, like the fact that we have the same job or are in the same class.

10/1/2007 12:06:27 AM

I flirt with ugly guys to feel better about myself.

10/1/2007 12:10:31 AM

^^ I'm guessing that is umbrellaman's problem. I'm the same way.

[Edited on October 1, 2007 at 12:12 AM. Reason : .]

10/1/2007 12:10:46 AM

^^^You already have more common ground than you figure, that's basically a guarantee.

I don't know any people who like small talk. The point is that if you want to get to know someone, there's usually at least a little small talk at the beginning. Sure, that can be awkward, but it's usually not unbearable to the point that you don't want to bother getting to know him/her.

Though when I want to get to know someone, it seems I tend to try too hard. I've learned that that the hard way, and it's probably irreparable by now.

[Edited on October 1, 2007 at 12:13 AM. Reason : But talking is so much better than not trying, I promise.]

10/1/2007 12:12:02 AM

Well I'm sure I have common ground with strangers, but how am I supposed to know what it is?


I think my severe hate of small talk comes from working jobs working with the public for so long where I was forced to make small talk practically all day long.

10/1/2007 12:16:28 AM

I just realized I have a huge crush on someone I work with, which is weird cause I never allow myself to like people.

10/1/2007 12:17:09 AM

Quote :

"You can't just walk up to somebody and start talking to them"

why not? if it's something that's uncomfortable to you, that just means you need to make an effort to practice it--speak to everyone you interact with: cashiers, the people in your classes, the people you sit down beside. make a habit out of complimenting people--no one is going to respond to a compliment with hostility, no matter how random it is; if you need to, start with the people that you would never consider having sex with. or if you feel like you have to have fodder to talk about, go to barnes & noble and talk about whatever books the people beside you are looking at--whether you give a shit or not

[Edited on October 1, 2007 at 12:24 AM. Reason : &]

10/1/2007 12:23:00 AM

I admit it, I really like that Feist song from the ipod commercial

10/1/2007 12:24:19 AM

Talking to random people sounds boring to me. I don't have an interest in getting to know people unless they somehow pique my interest. I'm also really bad at letting people get to know me. For example, I've been posting on TWW for 6 years and have 30-something thousand posts and I bet 99% of the users on here couldn't post four facts about me.

10/1/2007 12:25:23 AM

Quote :

"I talk to the receptionist when I go to the doctor, I talk to cashiers, I talk to customers at work"

I really hate when receptionists, cashiers, and other people try to make small talk with me. I just wanna get my shit done and get the fuck out of there. I try to go along with it, but I think it's obvious I don't enjoy it. Of course, I probably come across like an asshole, like I'm too good to associate with 'those kind of people'.

10/1/2007 12:26:34 AM

I've learned that talking with receptionists, tellers, etc. at places I visit on a regular basis is an extremely good idea, especially when it comes to getting things done at a later date that would otherwise be difficult.



On another note; I have a bad habit of refusing to pull over to pee when on long road trips. Hilarity ensues. (No I do not piss my pants).

10/1/2007 12:31:28 AM

Quote :

"Talking to random people sounds boring to me. I don't have an interest in getting to know people unless they somehow pique my interest. I'm also really bad at letting people get to know me. For example, I've been posting on TWW for 6 years and have 30-something thousand posts and I bet 99% of the users on here couldn't post four facts about me. "

you're female, have 36034 posts on the wolf web, you don't like talking to strangers, and you haven't been fucked on the regular since april of 03

10/1/2007 12:38:42 AM

I don't have a problem at least saying "hello, how are you?" to receptionists, cashiers, etc. It's not as if my parents didn't raise me to at least be polite to other people. I can do that much with people with whom I have to communicate anyway. It'd be really hard NOT to talk to anybody, seeing as you at least have to at least communicate with them in order for them to know what your business is. But beyond that, I don't really see the need to be any more personal. They're just doing their jobs and I'm just some nameless customer to them. Why do we need to communicate any deeper than a simple superficial exchange of greetings? Why should I give a shit about their day, and why should they give a shit about mine?

It's the same way with the rest of the world, except that in the case of the rest of the world I'm not forced to talk to them on some level because there's nothing that I need to get done that requires interacting with them. So again, I ask you, why would two strangers even bother talking to each other?

10/1/2007 12:39:33 AM

^I'm jumping into this tomorrow evening at work; I read your post, but I gotta go to bed now

10/1/2007 12:42:32 AM

Quote :

"They're just doing their jobs and I'm just some nameless customer to them. Why do we need to communicate any deeper than a simple superficial exchange of greetings? Why should I give a shit about their day, and why should they give a shit about mine?"

Because they're people just like you, who want deeper connections with people but have social anxieties, just like you, who hate small talk as much as you but are doing their jobs. They're people, not merely servants trying to pretend to care about your day to make you feel better. Why shouldn't they care about your day? Why shouldn't you care about theirs, if you found him/her interesting enough to want to talk to for more than a couple minutes?
If you can't see a stranger as possibly ever giving a shit about you as more than "some creepy guy who talked to me," that's a serious psychological/self-esteem problem. You're grown, you can handle a conversation. Try one.

10/1/2007 12:46:03 AM

uh oh

there's two of 'em

oh no

10/1/2007 12:49:06 AM

what you have to understand is that most of the people in the world are extroverts and they don't see the world the same way that you do. why do you think people join clubs, rush fraternities, have parties, or go to bars? people like to interact with one another...

10/1/2007 12:49:21 AM

Quote :

"most of the people in the world are extroverts"

i would bet good money this is NOT true

...

there is a difference between being extroverted and wanting to belong

[Edited on October 1, 2007 at 12:50 AM. Reason : .]

10/1/2007 12:49:57 AM

i suggest you look it up

10/1/2007 12:51:05 AM

we'll a cursory look indicates that a majority are extroverted

... dick

10/1/2007 12:53:20 AM

Quote :

"there is a difference between being extroverted and wanting to belong"

I'm pretty sure the derivation of self worth from group membership is one of the defining characteristics of an extrovert while an introvert derives his self-worth from arbitrary internal definitions.

So not really.

10/1/2007 12:55:22 AM

cocks... all of you

cocks

10/1/2007 12:55:47 AM

^^ No, that's not it at all.

Just because you like being around people doesn't mean you have to rely on people for your self-worth. That's a completely separate issue. You can be confident and around people without feeling that you constantly need their approval or something.

[Edited on October 1, 2007 at 1:16 AM. Reason : .]

10/1/2007 12:56:12 AM

and this isn't about you.

so do us all a favor and re-wad your g-ddamned panties in a ball and stuff them in your self-centered mouth.

In the mean time, Merriam-Websters defines Extroversion as: "the act, state, or habit of being predominantly concerned with and obtaining gratification from what is outside the self"

[Edited on October 1, 2007 at 12:58 AM. Reason : .]

10/1/2007 12:57:36 AM

It's not ME personally. But honestly, it's ridiculous to say that people who like company somehow can't have self-esteem outside of how they're viewed.

[Edited on October 1, 2007 at 12:59 AM. Reason : .]

10/1/2007 12:58:23 AM

and post pics of it

10/1/2007 12:58:25 AM

nah, I'll quit, I'm more tired than I am mean.

But seriously, this is a spectrum here and because some people fall somewhere between one end and the other does not negate the definition of Extroversion.

[Edited on October 1, 2007 at 1:00 AM. Reason : .]

10/1/2007 12:58:57 AM

well even if it was, we wouldnt know cause when no one is with u, u can act or feel however u want and no one would know

10/1/2007 12:59:27 AM

it's all in what you put into it

If you expect bad things to happen, they will

if you expect good things to happen, they will

10/1/2007 1:00:18 AM

^^ no, these are definitional personality traits

while they can be debated, they're not that touchy feally

[Edited on October 1, 2007 at 1:00 AM. Reason : .]

10/1/2007 1:00:41 AM

"WHAT IS OUTSIDE THE SELF"

So if I enjoy butterflies, I must rely on them for my self worth? I guess so, according to you.

10/1/2007 1:00:58 AM

i can't even take you seriously anymore.

10/1/2007 1:01:37 AM

Well I can't take CASHFAN seriously, either

self-esteem isn't tied to how much you like being around people or not

[Edited on October 1, 2007 at 1:02 AM. Reason : mostly because I know extroverts with ZERO self-esteem... and no, not me]

10/1/2007 1:02:17 AM

thats fucking brilliant logic if I understand it correctly.

10/1/2007 1:02:19 AM