Quote :

"actually if i married a chick and she couldnt have a child i would def adopt, i want to be a dad more than i want to be a dad of a child from my loins i would love them regardless just not anytime soon im still a big ass kid my damn self"

for all you know your own kid might suck pretty hard

[Edited on June 9, 2011 at 10:33 PM. Reason : .]

6/9/2011 10:32:48 PM

I don't mean to be a dick, but i don't think poor people should be allowed to adopt kids. Their are enough poor kids who live unfortunate lives. I know that rich kids have just as shitty lives sometimes, but at least they aren't restricted from things like health care or basic amenities and almost always have the chance to receive a higher education should they want it

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

6/9/2011 10:33:51 PM

So it's better to live in the system until you're 18 and then be kicked out on your own than it is to be adopted by a family of modest means?????????

6/9/2011 10:34:54 PM

modest means=poor people

6/9/2011 10:36:09 PM

I know I know. I was trying to be diplomatic. Not being able to afford to pay for your child's college education doesn't necessarily make someone a "poor person."

6/9/2011 10:37:39 PM

poor people adopt because the tax credits are generous and they're running their version of a scam

they should be systematically prosecuted when Fagan brings his 7 plus disadvantaged children to the supermarket for foodstamp Fridays

6/9/2011 10:37:51 PM

I mean i favor abortion to the system... I know its very hypocritical, but i think if someone is like 2-3 months pregnant and they KNOW they can't handle a child they should THEN AT THAT POINT find a parent and if they can't abort the kid. Fuck the current foster/adoption system... Deal with it then or fuck it.

Look i grew up in a very fortunate family. No one ever laid a hand on me and no one else ever made me feel unwanted and there were times (and honestly there still are) that it sucks ass being adopted (I think this is why i don't own or want pets). If you haven't been adopted or through the system then all you really have is a guess on how you could deal with a situation. My aunt was the first single african american female in north carolina to adopt a child, and i've talked in depth with my cousin and she feels the exact same way. Even now i want to find my birth parents, but my father passed away last year and i just can't really bring myself to ask my mother to help me look for my birth parents. I don't think she would take it in a bad way but fuck i don't know, there is a whole bunch of shit about family dynamics that i don't know because lets face it there is a whole different history of people out there that i come from that i don't know anything about. I believe our existence is a balance between nature and nurture and i see that very much in my own life. There are tons of things that i have in common with my family members, and then there are a lot of domestic and personality things that i don't share.

ON THE OTHER HAND I'm 10 years younger than my youngest sibling so there is basically a generational gap between him and I, but i really think that helps my case... The majority of my life I was basically an only child. It was kind of like i had older extremely close friends that i was... but at the same time i wasn't really related to.

I was going somewhere with this but i'm drunk and i couldn't remember so i just started typing hoping i'd remember but thats where i ended up so fuck it


I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

[Edited on June 9, 2011 at 10:55 PM. Reason : ]

6/9/2011 10:39:35 PM

Quote :

"I mean i favor abortion to the system... I know its very hypocritical, but i think if someone is like 2-3 months pregnant and they KNOW they can't handle a child they should THEN AT THAT POINT find a parent and if they can't abort the kid. Fuck the current foster/adoption system... Deal with it then or fuck it. "

I agree. Foregoing abortion to put another child in the foster care system is wrong. I think it's funny that people they they're doing the unborn kid a favor.

6/9/2011 10:42:03 PM

Most of the children that I've seen that end up in the foster care system are children who've been taken away from parents or given up due to extreme birth defects. The kids who end up in the foster system aren't exactly put there by the type of people who'd be "responsible" enough to have an abortion.

6/9/2011 10:45:17 PM

if cost is an issue, go to china.

China is like the Wal-mart of adoptions.

As soon as you get off the plane, they start throwing babies and fortune cookies at you.

6/9/2011 10:55:42 PM

Yeah but there are tons of kids who don't get adopted, could you please elaborate on where they go?


^you mean if cost is an issue then you can't afford a child obviously. If you can't afford a child then really in my opinion you shouldn't be having sex, regardless of how safe it is. This is a rule i guess i break but fuck it.



And now i remember what i was planning on addressing. One of my god-mothers is apparently a woman who my parents met at the hospital and was apparently another candidate for adopting me. Today this woman is bat shit fucking crazy. I've had a theory that its because she might've been jealous of my parents or whatever... but regardless that is not the kind of person that i would've wanted to raise me. Maybe there is more to the story but i don't want to fucking know because that is scary to me.

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

[Edited on June 9, 2011 at 11:00 PM. Reason : ]

[Edited on June 9, 2011 at 11:00 PM. Reason : lol all the time]

6/9/2011 10:56:19 PM

I'm having trouble reconciling having a baby come through my vaginal opening with the term "naughtybits"

[Edited on June 9, 2011 at 10:58 PM. Reason : I mean really]

6/9/2011 10:57:48 PM

idk the thought that whoever my birthmother is just kind of said "fuck it" hopefully he turns out okay makes me pretty sick and i don't see how anyone could find this acceptable.

I was fortunate and these days i guess adoption is so expensive that most babies are, but i know that back when i was adopted tons of kids weren't fortunate because i know some of them.

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

6/9/2011 11:06:22 PM

^^^

If you're adopting chinese babies, the idea is that you're either creating or already have a basement sweatshop or electronics factory, and you fucking feed them food lion brand dog food.

derp.

[Edited on June 9, 2011 at 11:09 PM. Reason : cost savings]

6/9/2011 11:08:50 PM

Is it wrong that I want to adopt a Chinese baby because Asian babies are cute as fuck, and I can pretty much guarantee that I'll get a girl baby?

6/9/2011 11:10:30 PM

man I've wanted a china baby since I learned they hated the girls in like 5th grade

I WILL GET ME ONE OF THEMS!

6/9/2011 11:12:20 PM

6/9/2011 11:16:25 PM

AHAHAHAHAHAH

I LOVE THAT FUCKING MOVIE

AHAHAHAHAHAH

6/9/2011 11:18:34 PM

lol

6/9/2011 11:18:50 PM

Quote :

"China is like the Wal-mart of adoptions. As soon as you get off the plane, they start throwing babies and fortune cookies at you."

I had a boss who had to go through about two years of red tape to adopt a Chinese girl who was found in a cardboard box at a street intersection, including going over to China for a month to finalize the adoption.

Ironically enough, about two months or so after finally getting the kid, his wife (who was thought to be barren) became pregnant and they had a son

6/9/2011 11:19:29 PM

My husband and I both have relatives who adopted after years of trying to conceive and bam! got pregnant like that after adopting.

6/9/2011 11:21:57 PM

I don't want to be responsible for someone elses mistake, just my own

6/9/2011 11:58:09 PM

We're on an adoptive couples waiting list. Have been for a little over a year. The bad thing (for us at least) is that there are a 1000 couples on the list, so we may end up waiting so long that I decide I'm too old to have a kid that will still be in high school by the time I'm in my 60s.

Quote :

"Delivery of a baby alone is around $8k."

Yeah, and I wish there was insurance to cover part of the adoption fee.

Quote :

"I had a boss who had to go through about two years of red tape to adopt a Chinese girl who was found in a cardboard box at a street intersection, including going over to China for a month to finalize the adoption."

Yeah, you hear all these stories about how hard they make the adoption process, and I'm currently seeing some of that. You think that they would make it easier to adopt, especially in circumstances like that one. Part of me says that it's made difficult because the process is final and they want to give everyone involved a million chances to back out, but sometimes I feel like most of the red tape and difficulties placed on the process are just designed to bilk couples that are desperate for a child out of as much money as possible.



[Edited on June 10, 2011 at 8:45 AM. Reason : -]

6/10/2011 8:38:42 AM

aren't you mormon? I thought mormons have like 15 kids and adoption seems counter to that mandate.

Unless it's just a clever way of increasing the tithing base.

6/10/2011 8:54:10 AM

it costs soo much money to adopt an american child.

its pretty stupid if you ask me.

I'd like to have 2 kids of my own and if i want more, adopt.

6/10/2011 9:00:06 AM

^^Yes, but if you can't have kids you kinda have to adopt to get up to 15.

6/10/2011 9:05:54 AM

^Do you get a discount after a certain number of kids?

like newegg.

[Edited on June 10, 2011 at 9:20 AM. Reason : m]

6/10/2011 9:20:18 AM

It doesnt cost that much to adopt an american child if you go through nc childrens home and the fster care system, and my adopted niece is getting medicaid until she turns eighteen i think.

6/10/2011 9:25:12 AM

one of my aunt and uncles adopted their children (my cousins). I'm not sure if my aunt was barren or if they just wanted to adopt (wasn't explained to me when I was younger and I don't see the point in asking now). They fit in just fine at family gatherings and I never think differently about it.

Their physical appearances make things a bit amusing though as my female cousin looks almost EXACTLY like my aunt that you'd swear left and right they're related. On the flip side my male cousin is a tall lanky ginger with bright orange hair. He looks nothing like either of his (adopted) parents, lol.

6/10/2011 9:26:20 AM

Quote :

"why don't more people adopt "

Because adoptions rarely happen by accident

6/10/2011 9:28:00 AM

People used to tell me I look like my parents all the time. I really don't though.

^ Mine kinda did

6/10/2011 9:28:40 AM

People don't adopt because people want to have kids of their own, and they don't want large families.

The only way to satisfy both involves not adopting.

6/10/2011 11:06:04 AM

i would totally adopt but i dont believe i will ever be a good parent

6/10/2011 11:12:55 AM

6/10/2011 1:06:32 PM

i think there is something to be said about creating a human being with the person you love

6/10/2011 4:07:53 PM

i think there is something to be said about creating a human being with the person you happened to cum inside of

[Edited on June 10, 2011 at 4:10 PM. Reason : x]

6/10/2011 4:09:58 PM

i think there is something to be said about creating a human being with the person you want to trap into marrying you

6/10/2011 4:16:37 PM

^ caveat emptor


you bringeth the hellfire my stepfather (brickyard gary) used to warn me about

6/10/2011 4:19:15 PM

I absolutely loathe anyone who would ever so much as consider doing that.

Just saying. It happens. Quite often, I think.

6/10/2011 4:20:50 PM

this thread made me search for adoption thread in lounge and i found this.message_topic.aspx?topic=605491

I dint realize there were so many adopted kids amongst us and i am glad most of yall are doing really well.

6/10/2011 4:27:37 PM

Quote :

"Because adoptions rarely happen by accident"

True, but I meant people who choose to create a child vs. adopt one.

Quote :

"i think there is something to be said about creating a human being with the person you love"

Personally, I think welcoming a foster child into a loving family could be just as meaningful an experience. That reasoning is a little selfish imo, when there are already so many kids waiting to be adopted.

[Edited on June 10, 2011 at 5:03 PM. Reason : .]

6/10/2011 5:01:59 PM

I am OK with being selfish in some of my huge life decisions. Yes I'd be thrilled to adopt a child and very moved by the process, but childbirth is one of the fundamental facets of life as a female and I want to experience it. I want to pass on my genetic material and that of the person I settle down with, and I look forward to seeing how that is manifested in a new person.

6/10/2011 5:25:18 PM

^
Fair enough I'm selfish in certain aspects of my life. I guess the idea of having my own genetic child isn't as important to me as it is to other people.

6/10/2011 5:48:05 PM

I wonder to what extent my own history affects my perspective. I know what it's like to be related to someone but not share blood with them. I don't know what it's like to share blood with anyone. I've never been able to observe someone else's mannerisms or anything and look for pieces of myself. I wonder how much my desire to have that in my children would be different if I had.

6/10/2011 6:02:09 PM

I don't need the childcare spending... money needs to be spent on toyz for uno me.

6/10/2011 6:17:56 PM