the only part i really like in pirates of the caribean is the final fight

7/31/2010 2:44:08 PM

More often than not I get Orson Welles and George Orwell mixed up.

7/31/2010 4:07:13 PM

me too, actually

I think there was a pig on U.S. Acres named Orson...



yeah

and that always makes me think of Animal Farm, adding to the confusion

7/31/2010 4:09:26 PM

I am actually irked that all of the transexuals on craigslist are looking for men. It just seems ... hell, I don't know the word for it, but I don't like it.

7/31/2010 8:25:34 PM

I'm feeling a bit too emo today I should go do yardwork or something constructive.

8/1/2010 2:30:13 PM

Im not wearing a bra in public


Im also in a cracker barrel in florida so i don't give a shit

8/1/2010 6:28:13 PM

niiiice

8/1/2010 6:40:33 PM

i am dripping sweat

8/1/2010 8:28:02 PM

I want to be at the beach!

And skinny.

sigh

8/1/2010 8:29:13 PM

i've been drinking relaxing tea all night in hopes of going to bed at a decent hour.



then about 20 minutes ago i ate a bunch of candy

8/1/2010 11:47:51 PM

I love looking at all the penises dudes post on craigslist.

8/1/2010 11:49:08 PM

Quote :

"I love looking at all the penises dudes post on craigslist."

fixed it for ya!


you know it's the truth

8/1/2010 11:52:46 PM

CL is a relatively easy source

8/1/2010 11:57:25 PM

so is your mom!


oh snap!


i went there.


need some ice for that burn?

8/1/2010 11:59:46 PM

nah, I'm jewish.
I can deal.

8/2/2010 12:00:48 AM

oh snap


you went there

8/2/2010 12:01:57 AM

your mom goes there



every night!

8/2/2010 12:03:33 AM

I had a sip sip of dat Smirnoff Blueberry Limeade during lunch. Twas very delish to say the least!

8/2/2010 12:04:02 AM

My hair. It feels great and smells fantastic. If I were a woman, I'd be all over myself right now.

8/2/2010 3:28:32 AM

If you drink Smirnoff Blueberry Limeade, use the word "delish" and talk about how fantastic your hair smells, you pretty much ARE a woman.

[Edited on August 2, 2010 at 10:11 AM. Reason : *]

8/2/2010 10:11:05 AM

^

8/2/2010 11:13:25 AM

ewwwww smirnoff anything

8/2/2010 10:51:58 PM

mmm smirnoff

esp the pomegranate vodka

8/2/2010 10:54:36 PM

I have less than pleasant memories of smirnoff vodka since it's all my friends and I really drank in high school.



[Edited on August 2, 2010 at 10:56 PM. Reason : also, mtn dew since that's what we usually mixed it with]

8/2/2010 10:55:41 PM

ok admittedly i've never had the pom vodka. that sounds doable

^ i know. why was mtn dew like the mixer of choice back in the day? g-ross. unnecessary. yucky. ewwwwwww.

[Edited on August 2, 2010 at 11:01 PM. Reason : .]

8/2/2010 10:55:49 PM

if by "doable", you mean "dangerously easy to drink straight", absolutely

8/2/2010 10:59:40 PM

absolut ly

8/3/2010 11:01:20 AM

i just drooled a little

8/3/2010 4:53:24 PM

the lease on my new place starts August 13, so I'm boarding w/ this old couple for the next 10 days

at first they were all up in my bizz (knocking on my door to tell me where the peanut butter is, subjecting me to long monologues about their children, offering me food at every opportunity, etc.)

but today I just started acting like a weirdo (flicking my eyes around, looking at the ground when I talk, stopping my sentences midway and then not resuming them, etc.) and it seems to be working

8/3/2010 7:35:20 PM

i love playing with tape. i think i have a problem.

8/6/2010 9:51:32 PM

I'm missing someone I shouldn't and WAY more than I thought I would

8/6/2010 10:28:58 PM

I thought I was down like 1-2 sizes.

I'm down more like ~3 sizes. I put on a dress tonight that I haven't worn since jr year of high school...and it fit as well as it did back then.

8/7/2010 1:12:59 AM

I'm excited about possibly meeting someone awesome for lunch next week, and it's not my wife

8/7/2010 1:16:37 AM

Whenever I use formatting at the end of a sentence, I always leave the period outside of the formatting, and this gratifies me way more than it should

8/9/2010 3:11:48 PM

if my bro in law ends up dead - it was me

8/11/2010 10:42:11 PM

i'm going to try pole dancing classes

8/17/2010 7:48:05 AM

I will probably never tell my father that it broke my heart to find out he doesn't want to come to my wedding.

8/17/2010 4:05:56 PM

ATM

8/17/2010 4:10:49 PM

^^holy shit

I'm so sorry to hear that, hon

8/17/2010 4:16:25 PM

i beat off to punchmonk's armpit picture

i hope qntmfred doesn't suspend me

8/17/2010 11:11:19 PM

i can do a handstand again

8/19/2010 7:54:51 PM

i've never been able to do a handstand--or a cartwheel

8/19/2010 7:58:17 PM

i used to be able to do:



would love to be able to do that again

8/19/2010 8:03:24 PM

looks like a cool way to break my damn neck

8/19/2010 8:13:18 PM

everyone is getting skinnier and i am just a fatass with NO WEIGHT moving off of me

fat

ass

and i ate 2 salads today and ONLY WATER. COME ONNNN. and i've been working out for REALZ for like a week

8/19/2010 8:16:13 PM

my neck itches.

8/19/2010 8:17:25 PM

I am being really lazy at work because I've been running my ass off completing misc errands since 8am. *sigh*

That confession sucked. How about this gaiz. So in class today, this chick starts talkin' to me. Chicks don't usually start conversations with me. She seemed like a nice girl, so I play around with this for a bit. She finally says, "So... You look really young... May I ask how old you are?" (I just shaved before I went to class, I guess this means I have a baby face? ). I replied, "Haha, sure you may... But first, how old do you think I am?" She kinda blushes and says, "I don't know... You look about my age... 19?"

Then I thought... Hmm, I could be a total dick right now and lie to her and see how far I can take this... NAA, I should just go ahead and crush her now. I told her I was 24 and she was all like. I anticipated that this would result in her not talking to me anymore, but my plan backfired


[Edited on August 19, 2010 at 8:36 PM. Reason : .]

8/19/2010 8:32:35 PM

Quote :

"That confession sucked."

8/19/2010 8:51:18 PM

Optimum makes me wanna skeet skeet skeet like a waterhose

8/19/2010 9:21:35 PM

smores i thought we agreed on 22 as our "age"



i miss my gf a lot more than i thought i would . oh well she will be back soon!

8/19/2010 9:32:42 PM