Haha. I thought about it... but damn, she was too innocent to fuck around with. She's like a shy 14 year old trapped in a sexy 19 year old body. I don't want to have to go into tutorial mode, if you know what I mean

Confession: My piss poor memory forgot I was supposed to be "22"

8/19/2010 9:55:03 PM

Babies, they don't even know how to check for wedding rings yet.

I'm high on codeine cough syrup, horny as hell, and can't get to sleep because I keep getting this tickle in my throat.

8/19/2010 10:02:03 PM

my boyfriend gets gayer everyday

soon i'm going to start to worry

i mean i'd love a gay bff but i'd rather it not mentally affect me via a breakup due to my boyfriend realizing he is gay



he is also going to kill me for this hehe

8/19/2010 10:15:22 PM

ha

8/19/2010 10:36:31 PM

I can talk to a guy so easily...but the moment I become attracted to him I suck at talking to him. stupid stupid stupid.

8/20/2010 1:29:55 AM

ive memorized the 22 line so much i do it on accident sometimes

8/20/2010 1:50:21 AM

Quote :

"Babies, they don't even know how to check for wedding rings yet."

I KNOW. It's like, a deathstar trap!

Oh I keed I keed. I'm no player in real life. That's my confession. Bless me for I have sinned...

8/20/2010 1:53:33 AM

i've been finger banging some rancid vag

8/23/2010 6:43:25 PM

That new Enrique song gets me really pumped up.

8/26/2010 3:30:55 PM

On Tuesday, I spent way too much money on a vibrator just because I thought that it was "pretty."

8/26/2010 9:47:30 PM

^ lol, well if it gets the job done on top of the aesthetics, I suppose you have a weenar.

8/26/2010 9:48:20 PM

I haven't even tried it yet, but it's charging.

Oh yes, no batteries.

8/26/2010 9:49:14 PM

I'm going to ask my parents to borrow some money sometime in the next week because I don't want to tap in to the savings I've built up for the house I plan to buy within two to three years. I didn't think it would come to that and I could use some of that money, but I know that my parents are willing to help me out so I'm going to take advantage of it/them.

8/26/2010 10:09:48 PM

I need to stop being angry inside.

8/26/2010 10:34:35 PM

Eat a cookie. You'll feel better.

[Edited on August 26, 2010 at 10:36 PM. Reason : You can't be angry with a cookie.]

8/26/2010 10:36:46 PM

[Edited on August 26, 2010 at 11:32 PM. Reason : ]

8/26/2010 11:32:18 PM

I get to spend 4 nights with my wife in a few weeks, and I am WAY excited about it

Quote :

"You can't be angry with a cookie"

That is unfortunately a lie. It may dull the anger, but it won't get rid of it.

[Edited on August 27, 2010 at 1:28 AM. Reason : says the Cookie Pimp]

8/27/2010 1:27:19 AM

this one time, at band camp....

8/27/2010 1:31:35 AM

^ lmfao...

^^

Quote :

"That is unfortunately a lie. It may dull the anger, but it won't get rid of it."

Truth The cake and the pie are both lies too btw.

8/27/2010 1:34:16 AM

The cake and the pie?

Nothing is guaranteed to get rid of anger other than time as far as I'm concerned

8/27/2010 1:37:16 AM

I can smell what I ate around my lips.

8/27/2010 1:39:26 AM

8/27/2010 1:40:45 AM

i really don't know if i can go through with this


message_topic.aspx?topic=601118

8/27/2010 11:14:04 AM

Quote :

"You can't be angry with a cookie"

bullshit.

i went to get my cookie at lunch, a peanut butter cookie, and when i got back to my desk ready to savor it, i find out that it was really a white chocolate and macadamia nut cookie.

goddammit i was pissed. i tried to eat it anyhow, but after the first bite i threw the thing in the trash.




fucking cookie

8/27/2010 12:44:24 PM

I had no idea that everyone was going to hop on my cookie train.

8/27/2010 12:50:25 PM

cookies are serious business.





woo WOO!

8/27/2010 1:13:54 PM

sometimes I like to look at posts from 3+ years ago when Sports Talk was pretty great and I almost always surprise myself

8/28/2010 6:21:47 PM

i'm considering not going out tonight because i drank way too much last night and still feel like shit

8/28/2010 6:48:17 PM

I'm in a quandary about which book my students ought to read. I think I'll have to sit down and write up a +/- chart.

8/28/2010 8:17:23 PM

I refuse to clean my windsheild even though it's nasty because when the sun hits just right a bugs guts glow rainbow. It makes me smile and wonder what kind of bug had the fortune of carrying rainbow colored blood and if he even knew.

8/28/2010 10:41:42 PM

My husband would rather finish watching Monsters vs. Aliens than have sex with me tonight. It makes me want to bash his head in with the alarm clock.

8/28/2010 11:19:31 PM

I gotta get a haircut first thing tomorrow.

8/28/2010 11:22:35 PM

^^

hint

8/29/2010 3:27:41 AM

While flipping channels I ended up watching the end of Made of Honor because the last scene has a shirtless Patrick Dempsey and Stolen by DBC in the background


I feel like such a girl

8/29/2010 9:00:47 PM

i slept until 3:30pm today. not because i felt hungover, but because i just felt like sleeping.

so i'm pretty much never falling asleep tonight. whoops.

8/29/2010 10:39:08 PM

I too got suckered into watching the first 1/3 of Made of Honor while at my friends house

8/29/2010 10:42:49 PM

I just jizzed to a guy fucking a football.

FML

8/29/2010 11:58:06 PM

you jizz?

8/29/2010 11:59:24 PM

I so did not expect Phil to be that Phil. In case I needed more reasons to feel old... I haven't seen him since probably my sophomore year of college.... 9 years ago

8/30/2010 12:11:55 AM

Not like, you know, boys do but in a sense we women, ejaculate, or excrete, sexual juices.

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I wish I could jizz out of a penis. sigh

8/30/2010 12:13:48 AM

i would trade my penis for your vagina.

but only for one day.

and we'd definitely need a contract.

8/30/2010 12:25:59 PM

I've been sniffed and told how good I smell so many times in the last week that I'm kinda worried that I use to stink real bad.

8/30/2010 5:14:29 PM

highly doubt it.

when someone smells bad, i don't sniff them or tell them they smell good.

i just wince when i get too close to them.

8/30/2010 5:20:09 PM

you are terrible at reading

8/30/2010 5:38:09 PM

why thank you

8/30/2010 7:00:16 PM

i really don't think i'll be a fit mother (if i ever have children)

9/1/2010 2:43:21 PM

^ I worry about the same thing.

I am afraid I will not have enough energy or will get sick again. Or WORSE of all turn out like my mother - I could not do that to another human

[Edited on September 1, 2010 at 3:03 PM. Reason : worry]

9/1/2010 3:02:10 PM

Quote :

"I too got suckered into watching the first 1/3 of Made of Honor while at my friends house "

unfortunately, i got suckered into watching it on a double date

9/1/2010 3:40:20 PM

I have never heard of this Made of Honor shit.

9/1/2010 3:49:48 PM

Dang, wrong thread...


Well, I confess that I tdubbed the whole 3 hours babysitting Nicholas, but he was asleep for 2 of those hours, and the other hour we youtubed cute videos at the same time.



[Edited on September 1, 2010 at 5:22 PM. Reason : man i suck]

9/1/2010 5:21:35 PM