sheikh DnL

11/6/2007 3:21:45 PM

page whatever

all i know is i'm not doing work as well when some attractive broad with cleavage is around...

11/6/2007 3:22:19 PM

drunknloaded, I made you a new ringtone...

11/6/2007 3:23:42 PM

I love getting in early just to be stuck listening to my neighbor's conversation to his buddy about sports at 100 decibels.

11/9/2007 8:21:51 AM

Motherfuckers who steal the nice pens out of the pen jars
...then start stealing the crappy ones.

Right now, my pen jar has
- a thick highlighter
- a yellow sharpie used on ONE set of paperwork
- two letter openers
- a pair of scissors
- a 5" pencil
- two pen caps

And the only pen I have in my purse right now is a red one, and I put my hair up today with a pencil.

I got damn lucky to be able to find a blue one.

11/14/2007 4:45:14 PM

Lock that shit up.

11/14/2007 5:11:52 PM

Can't.

It's not actually "mine"; it's a common jar at the workstation.

11/14/2007 5:37:26 PM

lame

11/14/2007 5:38:46 PM

Disorganization on the part of other people that directly impacts me. This can also apply to life in general.

11/15/2007 2:46:43 PM

so at my office pens are also hard to come by. they are ALL the time just disappearing right when you're working. So, my plan: I went and purchased 2 boxes of 20 cheap BIC pens that are very distict blue. I use them, lose them, and have gone through almost both boxes in a couple months. NOW, it's funny when someone comes in with some papers they're working on and whips out a BLUE BIC PEN.

I dont say anything, i mean they were cheap, you know-- there's just some kind of deep satisfaction knowing that yes you bought it, yes they picked it up (accidentally, even, perhaps) and you aren't just losing them all over the place.

11/15/2007 5:14:29 PM

Solution to the pen dilemma: shocker pens at Spencer's. I love these things. They look just like a regular click pen, but when you click the top you get a jolt... a pretty hefty one at that. I got one about a year ago when I was just browsing around there. Aside from teaching thieves a lesson, it also works well to shock roommates in the neck when they annoy you. My roommate had to get one because I kept shocking him.

[Edited on November 15, 2007 at 5:24 PM. Reason : kinda makes me wish that pens were stolen around here just so I could use one]

11/15/2007 5:23:20 PM

A coworker who responds to our boss with 'Respected Sir' [listserv]

11/15/2007 5:31:32 PM

when something breaks, and the person who noticed it first doesn't tell anyone, and the next guy gets
stuck cleaning up after them, usually taking much more time to correct, than if that person had just handled it then and there.

11/15/2007 6:02:44 PM

Came into work today to find a co-worker using my computer. This is already a major pet peeve when anyone even at home uses my computer w/o asking. To make it worse in my haste to leave last night my "log off" stalled so my co-worker was actually using my account.

[Edited on November 20, 2007 at 11:00 AM. Reason : a]

11/20/2007 10:59:44 AM

You guys don't have to have passwords on your computer?

11/20/2007 11:02:10 AM

yeah but sometimes if i am not watching out while logging off my computer will get hung up trying to close Microsoft Outlook. Hitting cancel on the prompt that pops up for Outlook cancels log off

11/20/2007 11:06:28 AM

You make people ask to use your computer, WTF is that about.

I don't like it when motherfuckers throw shit at me and I can't figure out who it was, so I have to retaliate against everyone instead of just the guilty individual.

11/20/2007 11:09:34 AM

Quote :

"so at my office pens are also hard to come by. they are ALL the time just disappearing right when you're working. So, my plan: I went and purchased 2 boxes of 20 cheap BIC pens that are very distict blue. I use them, lose them, and have gone through almost both boxes in a couple months. NOW, it's funny when someone comes in with some papers they're working on and whips out a BLUE BIC PEN. I dont say anything, i mean they were cheap, you know-- there's just some kind of deep satisfaction knowing that yes you bought it, yes they picked it up (accidentally, even, perhaps) and you aren't just losing them all over the place."

Reminds me of ass-pennies from UCB

11/20/2007 11:17:48 AM

We have a "low level" tech working for us who fixes some of the PC's that come in. Doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground.

The guy has delusional aspirations of becoming a Cisco engineer.

Yeah man, get past A+ first.

11/20/2007 2:31:55 PM

wow

did you really just schedule a meeting for 4pm today,

the day before thanksgiving

SRSLY?

11/21/2007 9:28:30 AM

That's what you get for not taking off like I told you.

11/21/2007 10:18:24 AM

Quote :

"We have a "low level" tech working for us who fixes some of the PC's that come in. Doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground. The guy has delusional aspirations of becoming a Cisco engineer. Yeah man, get past A+ first."

Yeah, had the same thing happen while I was in school once and couldn't get home to fix some things for the place I work for... they hired some random guy to do some work, boss thought he was god because he put the fucking matrix screen savers on everything... and completely destroyed our active domain setup

11/21/2007 10:25:17 AM

this guy at work has a rubber chicken that makes clucking like noises when you shake it. He does it about 40 times a day and then peeks over his cubicle and has this goofy-ass grin like it is the funniest thing in the world. It was funny the first time he did it, kinda funny the second time he did it, and annoying as hell every time after that.

11/28/2007 11:31:45 AM

Quote :

"A coworker who responds to our boss with 'Respected Sir' [listserv]"

Is this person foreign-born? I used to get emails from international students looking for work with the salutation 'Respected Sir'. Always thought that was a little odd.

11/28/2007 11:39:10 AM

Is this person foreign-born? I used to get emails from international students looking for work Nigerian scam artists with the salutation 'Respected Sir'.

11/28/2007 11:55:53 AM

People who see you are on the phone, still come into your office and launch into a conversation, or they stand there and listen to your conversation.

People who can't make a decision on their own without always consulting me or their boss... for simple things.

People who don't answer their phone when you know they are there.

[Edited on November 28, 2007 at 8:40 PM. Reason : .]

11/28/2007 8:39:20 PM

People who are OVERLY nice and/or are suck ups! Ugh!


And my coworker that sits RIGHT beside me is FOREVER saying, "BLESS YOU CHILD" or "BLESS ANGEL". That shit is ANNOYING!!! She never says "hey" or "good morning" or anything BUT "Bless". Not a single "thanks", no "you're welcome" or "good to see you". NOTHING. Shit is ridiculous. She'll be on the phone or talking to my coworkers like, "Bless that, angel. Bless. Bless. Well you know the spirits bring that out of you. You have this aura about you...blah blah blah blah. We shall discuss this and your tribulations when we arrive home." UGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

One day, my manager was out on vacation, and she had like 4 of my other coworkers around her while she was preaching and some fellow IBMer complained. So my manager called and told her to STFU and same time'd her. Every two seconds, it's "MY LORDDDDDDDDDD" (in this crazy African/Jamaican/Nubian princess voice) or "BLESS PRINCESS."

[Edited on November 29, 2007 at 4:12 PM. Reason : .]

11/29/2007 4:11:45 PM

this is going to sound mean, but...

i work with a few people (25-30 yrs old) who don't have 4 year degrees (they have 2 yr ones though). working with these folks and hearing them talk everyday has made me very VERY thankful that i have a bachelor's degree. the lack of knowledge of, well, everything, is astounding. my kids are getting university educations whether they like it or not. jeebus christ people are dumb.

12/3/2007 9:26:59 AM

^ I have a feeling that most people who fit that description would still fit it even if they did get 4-year degrees. They would just be those people in class that you desperately wish would stop talking because they're so out of it.

12/3/2007 9:32:47 AM

people who have 2 year degrees, are people who weren't smart enough to get into a 4 year school.

12/3/2007 9:36:55 AM

yeah, these people apparently have never taken physics, anatomy, biology, grammar, calculus, or chemistry classes...really just any math/science class. a lot of these things seem like common sense kind of stuff to me, but apparently it's only common sense if you have at least a bachelor's degree.

some memorable quotes (mostly to do with grammar):

"i'm not racial, but..."

"yeah that was pretty melodramatic*" (*he really meant anticlimactic)

"it was orientated this way"

12/3/2007 9:42:24 AM

Quote :

"this guy at work has a rubber chicken that makes clucking like noises when you shake it. He does it about 40 times a day and then peeks over his cubicle and has this goofy-ass grin like it is the funniest thing in the world. It was funny the first time he did it, kinda funny the second time he did it, and annoying as hell every time after that."

lol. I don't know why, but I just pictured you working next to iphotou and him peeking over the cubicle several times a day.

12/3/2007 10:05:21 AM

superintendents who stand right in front of my office, talking on their nextels as loud as possible while i am on the phone.

12/3/2007 10:08:23 AM

7^ ummm i dont mean to side track your question here, but, who are all of these nosy people, outside influences i'm seeing around you by the moon card?




[Edited on December 3, 2007 at 10:14 AM. Reason : 7]

12/3/2007 10:14:37 AM

oh, i forgot to add the Whistler.

she whistles the same fucking songs (the popeye theme song & some song from My Fair Lady) really loud all fucking day long. she never whistles the whole song, or a whole verse.

SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I CUT YOUR LIPS OFF*. try and whistle now bitch.




*disclaimer to intarweb police: expression of frustration only, would never actually happen

12/3/2007 1:17:52 PM

People's voicemail messages that sound like them picking up the phone.

People feeling the need to come tell me the same thing they e-mailed me 30 seconds before.

12/3/2007 2:37:34 PM

i don't know if i've mentioned this particular one, but i know i've mentioned the two guys who joke about being gay together all the time....

these same 2 guys spend the whole damn day saying movie quotes back and forth to each other.
one sits next to me, the other is behind me, so i hear every word they say alllllll day long.

12/3/2007 5:21:53 PM

- Its cold outside and cold inside (Air conditioning FTL)
- Days where all the engineers you work with are in the big meeting you didn't get invited to, so you are left to your own devices all day and there's no one on your floor.

12/3/2007 5:23:46 PM

People who think that telling me "Oh, she's been cooped up in her carseat ALL DAY" gives their kids a free pass to run around the damn store screaming like banshees.

12/3/2007 5:40:56 PM

i have my own secretary who does as i need through out the day. when i call in and she is not avaliable the girl at the front desk asks to help when she has proven to not complete a project with out fucking it up to date... when i call in the girl who answers the phone for us always says.....

Phone girl: Good day, this is ..... at .... how may i help you?
me: hi ..... may i speak with ..... please
Phone girl; oh sure Mr Reid. Hold please
me: thanks

Phone girl: i am sorry mr reid ...... is not avaliable at the moment
me: no problem, let he know i called
Phone girl: is there anything i can help you with?
me: no thanks, thank you anyway, just let her know i called
Phone girl: are you sure mr reid, i would be happy to help you
me: no thanks only ... can do it
Phone girl: well fine, i will let her know to call you
me: thanks bye


damn it bitch i tell you cant help every time but you keep insisting!!!!!

12/3/2007 5:45:28 PM

1.) when soldering tiny ass wires and 0201 components and someone finds it amusing to shout out my name or grab my should to get my attention.

2.) guys in the nearby cubicles that think we get a hearty laugh at their obnoxious ringtones that play loudly enough for the entire wing of the floor to hear.

3.) people making comments about me showing up from 9:30-10 am. I do this for a reason so that the lab equipment is running while you are busy picking up Sally from soccer practice. I do not make comments when you bounce out of the office at 4 pm while i'm busy working.

12/3/2007 5:56:53 PM

when i get a call on the company phone while driving (on the clock) taking something somewhere,
and they want you to read paperwork/spout off ticket numbers back to them right then....i don't even eat while driving, let alone READ. knowing the dangers associated with their request, they still persist in doing it. I might have to Keep It Real. even if it goes very, very wrong.

12/3/2007 6:19:44 PM

I'm on the staffparking listserv

An email went out about Dan allen, and instead of just sending her email to Christine Klein, this bitch copied TWO listservs with her request to be removed

12/4/2007 4:36:24 PM

Jesus H Christ

here's the story

This morning I was sitting at my desk with my headphones on, minding my own business, drinking my morning coffee. We have instant coffee makers for everyone to use, but this woman has her own gaudy maker with fancier coffee. This lady (lets call her FB) asked me in a weird tone where I got my coffee from. I told her I got my coffee in the kitchen down the hall. I'm not sure if she believes me.

This isn't my first odd run-in with her. Last month she told my boss that I orchestrated MY department's theft of bagels that a private vendor gave HER department. This is what really happened:

I don't like bagels, so I really didn't care whose bagels they were. My coworker went and asked FB if they were community bagels because they were left out in the open with 2 types of cream cheese next to it. FB then told him that we are welcome to them after her department gets their pick first. As a joke, I drew up a release form and asked her to sign it, bequeathing the bagels to Steptoe employees whenever her department finished getting their bagels, and I taped it up by the cabinet above where the bagels were. Someone in her department signed it as a joke, but none of this really mattered because she had already told my coworker at THIS point that her department was done with them - after that my coworkers went for the bagels.

I hate FB.

12/5/2007 11:08:48 AM

when someone throws away your food in the fridge when it isn't something they would eat and now i have nothing for lunch

12/5/2007 2:20:05 PM

^Isn't something they would eat how?

12/5/2007 2:28:12 PM

"Hi. You all have auditing or something classes this week, or did have?"
"Yes *double-checking* Yes, it was Monday and Tuesday"
"It was auditing?"
"I have it down as [real title; very broad] - I can't say for sure whether or not it addressing auditing this time. What did you need?"
"I need auditing"
"...I mean, how can I help you?"
"Auditing"
"Ma'am, did you want to sign up for the next session, did you lose something here, did you need the contact information of someone...what exactly do you need?"
"yes, I wanted to sign up"


...Sadly, I think I've posted this scenario in this thread at least once. Fucking idiots.

12/6/2007 4:14:48 PM

This fat Jewish lady keeps yelling "Jesus Fucking Christ" - like REALLY loud in her office. I find it kinda offensive.

When I get frustrated at work, I don't yell out NOAH FUCKING HEBREW or JERUSALEM FUCKING TEMPLE or anything like that

12/6/2007 4:20:01 PM

Oh shit wrong thread

[Edited on December 11, 2007 at 5:46 PM. Reason : lkjdf]

12/11/2007 5:45:11 PM

dont you hate it when folks dont read no email?

12/11/2007 5:45:52 PM