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11/19/2006 7:21:15 PM

yay no more autostarting video

11/19/2006 7:56:35 PM

I've learned a lot from that video game Dead Rising

if the zombies do come, you all need to call me for help as soon as possible

11/19/2006 7:57:50 PM

FUCK YOU EMCE

11/19/2006 7:58:37 PM

I just can't do it

that video is horrible

11/19/2006 7:59:49 PM

11/19/2006 8:02:42 PM

bridget said 'zombie thread' and it reminded me of this

12/14/2006 2:56:20 PM

what happens to the blood in zombies? I assume their hearts aren't pumping anymore, so does it all settle down at their feet?

These are things afripino and I discuss while at work.

12/14/2006 3:15:40 PM

12/14/2006 4:55:41 PM

EMCE, lets talk the new Zombie video game.

Obviously, I must talk of the psychological affect of a support force coming to rescue you. If you knew a group of 100 Navy SEALs was about to rescue you from a horde of zombies, I, like you, would be very motivated to kick zombie tail.

BUT THAT IS NOT THE CASE, EMCE. SIMPLY NOT THE CASE IN THE SCENARIO WE´RE ´TALKING´ABOUT.

We´re talking Raleigh submerged in undead flesh. There are no Navy SEALs. Those marines down at Cherry Point and good ol´ Tarawa Terrace are done, man. You are low on their priority list. Me and you kid will see who lasts on that day. Oh, yes...we will.

THE RESPECTIVE MOTORCYCLE BANDS WILL FIGHT IN THE MIST OF THE ZOMBIE HORDE.

[Edited on December 19, 2006 at 8:41 PM. Reason : gotta take it to the gamers.]

[Edited on December 19, 2006 at 8:41 PM. Reason : --]

12/19/2006 8:40:13 PM

^I'm from Cherry Point!

And, uh, zombies are cool.

http://www.urbandead.com

12/19/2006 8:47:51 PM

You have added a new dimension to my life, ThePeter.

Thank you.

12/19/2006 8:55:40 PM

Reading World War Z right now and it's pretty awesome in helping me prepare for the oncoming invasion.

12/26/2006 1:42:02 PM

If Zombies ever invade Raleigh, it would be probably the first time I support the existence of a Super-K.


I call dibs on the one in garner.

12/26/2006 1:44:28 PM

I don't get why zombies would know not to attack each other and just go after live people... i mean its not like they have much brain functions to know any better anymore once they're zombies

1/6/2007 12:52:53 AM

^They can smell the living.

1/6/2007 2:06:56 AM

Most likely it's a combination of the various senses coupled with an instinct. Don't waste your time trying to come up with some way to mask your scent from zombies, it won't work. It is impossible to complement that with an adequate impersonation of zombism.

Quote :

"If Zombies ever invade Raleigh, it would be probably the first time I support the existence of a Super-K. "

Superstores like that will be the first ones overrun by looters and, by extension, zombies. They're only of any use if you suspect an outbreak well in advance.

Quote :

"what happens to the blood in zombies? I assume their hearts aren't pumping anymore, so does it all settle down at their feet? "

General theory on the subject is that it coagulates to a large extent and thus doesn't move much. Otherwise, as you say, it would gather in the lower half of the body and make movement near-impossible.

Quote :

"There are no Navy SEALs. Those marines down at Cherry Point and good ol´ Tarawa Terrace are done, man."

Possibly not entirely accurate. Depending on the nature of the early stages of the outbreak, military and other personell might be able to establish zones of relative safety. The odds that they would be capable of pursuing wide-range rescure operations, however, are quite low. Indeed, I doubt their ability to survive various social obstacles in the long-term. They will only be viable under special circumstances, and under none should you be counting on them for your survival.

1/6/2007 2:14:37 AM

The only plausible "scientific" explanations for how a zombie might work would be some kind of behavior-modifying agent (virus, alien nanotech, headcrabs, etc.), which leave behind a raging lunatic/animal in a more or less intact body.

Zombies of the horror movie sort (have to de-brain them to do any good) just don't make any sense from any physiological standpoint.

1/6/2007 4:10:09 AM

ever seen someone on pcp?


you pretty much have to de-brain them too

1/6/2007 5:00:34 AM

i'm so happy i got this shirt for christmas... that way, all will know i'm prepared.

"Shoot 'em in the head and they'll stay dead."

1/6/2007 9:08:46 AM

Quote :

"The only plausible "scientific" explanations for how a zombie might work would be some kind of behavior-modifying agent (virus, alien nanotech, headcrabs, etc.), which leave behind a raging lunatic/animal in a more or less intact body."

Regardless, a zombie, by definition, has certain characteristics, as explained earlier in this thread. All of these conditions leave them with a much more finite lifespan than humans and certain predictable behaviors.

Quote :

"Zombies of the horror movie sort (have to de-brain them to do any good) just don't make any sense from any physiological standpoint."

As far as science has demonstrated thusfar, I agree. But then again, science has been presented with some interesting new things before, yeah?

I can envision some sort of micro- or macrobiotic organism that could provide for simple cellular energy to provide movement and the like but not any sort of nervous control or other normal biological function, thereby requiring the sustenance of at least some brain faculties to keep it going.

There are those diseases with neurological impacts that affect specific behaviors; take this to an extreme, and you can explain why zombies act the way they do.

What remains in question is how zombies can continue to function while not eating any substantial amount of food and quite possibly not respiring. The organism responsible could overcome this through a number of ways, such as consuming nonessential (that is, not certain muscles, bones, or nerves) parts of the zombie. Having completely occupied the bloodstream, it is not inconceivable that the organism itself could handle the transfer of those relevant nutrients.

1/6/2007 11:40:23 PM

Quote :

"What remains in question is how zombies can continue to function while not eating any substantial amount of food and quite possibly not respiring. The organism responsible could overcome this through a number of ways, such as consuming nonessential (that is, not certain muscles, bones, or nerves) parts of the zombie. Having completely occupied the bloodstream, it is not inconceivable that the organism itself could handle the transfer of those relevant nutrients."

That's what I meant, though.

I can get shutdown of pain responses, fear responses, etc.—but the idea that zombies can still move around as if they're perfectly OK when their circulatory systems are destroyed, or that they can/will rise up from the dead, just seems nuts. The Dead series is especially ridiculous, what with the limbless zombies (come on, that would be a bleedout death), zombies walking around underwater, etc.. Anaerobic processes will only go so far.

Besides, breaking down random tissues would probably release all sorts of gunk into the bloodstream, which would then cause other organ failures. Blood chemistry gets far enough out of whack, and muscles and nerves will just stop working. Shit, people can die of (potassium?) poisoning if they get their legs crushed and then the pressure is suddenly released, because all the toxins from that tissue damage just floods their systems and their hearts stop.

Blah blah blah. What I was getting at was that the idea of the "undead" zombie is just bunk. The only way you could get something that's a zombie (by behavioral definitions) would be something that fucks up the brain's higher functions without severely disrupting autonomic functions.

1/7/2007 1:22:38 AM

I agree with you just about exactly halfway. The idea of something rising from the dead on its own is pretty preposterous. I make one minor distinction that I will cover in a moment.

I disagree, however, that autonomic functions need continue for something resembling a "zombie" to work.

It pretty much goes without saying that in zombies heart function ceases. The only way to get around that, as I see it, is some sort of microorganism (or something similar) completely overrunning and subsequently occupying the circulatory system, possibly to the extent of complete replacement. That is, your blood vessels no longer pump anything; they are completely backed with whatever thing it is that makes you a zombie. Nutrients could possibly be passed by the same channels between the cells (or whatever else) have replaced your blood.

This not only allows for heart function to be irrelevant, it means that any issue of stuff being released into the bloodstream is now moot, and allows for a more efficient breakdown of nonessential tissues in the body.

---

Now, as to the issue of "dead rising" -- I will wholeheartedly agree that those dead previous to the outbreak will not rise, period. However, given the nature of whatever agent is likely to cause such an event, I think it entirely possible that a victim might become infected and appear to "die," even to be dead for a few moments, before acting in a zombiotic fashion. In that sense, it may seem as though individuals are rising from the dead, when in reality they are merely undergoing a shift between normal human physiology and that brought on by zombification, which relies on rather different principles.

1/7/2007 2:06:40 AM

zombttt

1/28/2007 2:36:09 PM

2/10/2007 10:58:51 PM

What if being a zombie had nothing to do with your body, but spirit?

I know a bunch of us here don't believe in the unseen, but hey if zombies can happen, why cant it be due to some form of evil unholy spiritual state of being? You could have a perfectly functioning body, but you are being controlled by the spirit of death. Perhaps death is more than just a physical state. I know it's going to sound lame to quote that religion guy on DOTD, but didn't he say something to the effect of "Hell has no more room for people, so now they are overflowing on earth".

Now if you really want to get into the supernatural aspect of zombi-ism, let's say a bullet to the head doesn't kill a zombie. Then what? Perhaps the only way to stop them would be to go Final Fantasy style and use some sort of healing potion or remedy on the zombie to counter the "undeadedness". Just another way to look at things.

2/11/2007 12:30:44 AM

hotels would be a great bet, with all the lockable doors. I mean, so long as you got the manager's keys before he went zombo on your ass, you'd be straight.

2/11/2007 12:34:13 AM

Locked doors can be doom in certain cases. If all you got is a window 12 stories high and a door with 17 zombies pouring through, you are screwed.

I guess you could barricade the door. You'd might have two beds and a chair to add to extra defense.
Also, you'd have a bathroom, a tv to watch the world fall around you. Just bring food and wait it out as best you can for six months.

2/11/2007 9:45:58 AM

A single hotel room won't do it.

2/11/2007 10:56:10 AM

How come one single hotel room won't do it?

2/11/2007 12:40:05 PM

the actual quote is "When there is no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth."

IIRC in Romero's Day of the Dead, it ends with a guy dying and not coming back. He was a good guy in the movie so it's like, maybe he wasn't going to hell. They set up a watch over his body to see if he ever zombifies. I think in that series, anyone who died came back as a zombie whether they were bitten or not.

2/11/2007 12:47:23 PM

with Romero it is unclear if you always come back as a zombie or if you must be infected

the early news reports in Night state that it is the "bodies of the recently deceased"

2/11/2007 12:50:05 PM

Learn it, live it, love it:

2/11/2007 12:57:27 PM

has anyone even thought of making flamethrowers?

I mean.....even zombies hate fire.

2/11/2007 12:59:19 PM

no they don't

they'll just burn you with their flaming bodies as they eat you

2/11/2007 1:00:04 PM

Quote :

"How come one single hotel room won't do it?"

Are you joking? A single hotel room? You really think a bed and a few chairs will provide a good enough barricade? After a single zombie gets wind of your scent they will all start trying to break in and eventually, no matter how strong your barricade of beds and chairs will be, they will break in. Additionally, a hotel room generally only has one entrance/exit. What are you gonna do when you run out of supplies? How are you gonna get six months worth of supplies up there without any zombies seeing you?

2/11/2007 1:00:21 PM

+3 Cloak of Invisibility

2/11/2007 1:02:14 PM

Having access to and being able to fly a helicopter seems to be the single most useful thing one could have in this scenario.

2/11/2007 1:56:09 PM

A single hotel room will do it for the time being, I'll have to say.

I remember in my research of Resident Evil 3 that Jill Valentine, in the midst of the zombie invasion of Raccoon City, hid up in a hotel room (check the intro). It would provide an interesting vantage point of the zombie invasion.

2/11/2007 1:59:25 PM

Oh, and in the zombies in DoTD are people who have died. In Land of the Dead a guy hangs himself and comes back in Fiddler's Green.

2/11/2007 2:00:59 PM

Zombies are afraid of flames! Remeber NoTD and NoTD 1990 remake!

2/11/2007 2:02:34 PM

Quote :

"What if being a zombie had nothing to do with your body, but spirit?"

It doesn't. Next question.

Quote :

"has anyone even thought of making flamethrowers? I mean.....even zombies hate fire."

No, they don't. The zombie is still coming after you, just like before, only now, it's on fire. You've only compounded your problem.

Quote :

"A single hotel room will do it for the time being, I'll have to say."

It might do for a few days, but ultimately you can only fit so much stuff in there, and when your supplies run out, you're not in a great position.

2/16/2007 12:27:46 AM

GrumpyGOP I just read the whole article and thought it was great! Thank you to who asked for the whole thing One question...what prompted this article to be written?

2/16/2007 1:13:16 AM

Honestly -- boredom. It wasn't for an assignment, and it wasn't intended to appear anywhere but my now-defunct website. Since then, of course, it has been posted in its entirity here, and very nearly in its entirity on a zombie-themed bulletin board in UT, where one of my good friends is an RA.

2/16/2007 3:06:50 PM

quite possibly the greatest article ever.

well. the greatest zombie related article.

2/16/2007 3:08:34 PM

Right now I'm in a public speaking class, which is a travesty for many reasons

But I keep saying, "I'm gonna do all my speeches on zombie-related issues."

And the prof keeps saying, "How are zombies relevant?"

And I keep just looking at him like he's insane.

History will favor one of us, and I don't think I have to say who.

2/20/2007 2:12:07 AM

Tell him it is a terrorist concern and therefore relevant

[Edited on February 20, 2007 at 2:43 AM. Reason : to national security ]

2/20/2007 2:43:12 AM

I actually tried a similar tack. Ultimately he just said, "Well, you give the speech you're gonna give, and if it seems relevant, then I'll let it slide." He has no idea how fucking relevant I'm gonna make it.

2/20/2007 2:58:57 AM

RUN!

2/21/2007 5:52:35 PM

set em up

2/21/2007 6:11:15 PM