Because people on TWW are a lot nicer than those crazy bitches up in those wedding message boards...

So, my first question...how common is it to invite married couples to join in halfway through the first dance? My fiancé is not really an extroverted person, and (while I am extroverted) I'm a horrible dancer and I would feel awkward having everyone's eyes on us while we dance for 4 minutes.

10/19/2016 12:22:05 PM

it's your wedding, do whatever you want

10/19/2016 12:24:01 PM

It's your day. You do it how you want, and screw what others think is common. Maybe just have the DJ (or band lead or whatever) to let the others know that the dance floor is open after the first refrain or whatnot.

10/19/2016 12:24:39 PM

I just didn't know if that was a thing or not.

10/19/2016 12:28:07 PM

Earlier in the day we specifically asked all the bridesmaids and groomsmen to join us with their significant others about 2/3s through the first dance, not sure if anyone else outside of them joined as well, but that was the message we were trying to send, and our first dance led directly into the rest of the dancing, so it was good to already have a few people out there getting things started.

[Edited on October 19, 2016 at 12:58 PM. Reason : $$$]

10/19/2016 12:55:56 PM

saw this at the last wedding I went. It led to complete dance party before dinner was served.

10/19/2016 12:57:21 PM

Quote :

"I just didn't know if that was a thing or not."

It's your wedding. Doesn't matter if it's a "thing" or not. Just do it!

10/19/2016 1:00:08 PM

we just had the band do a short version of the song

10/19/2016 1:00:37 PM

Uh yeah people do it. Haven't you seen American wedding?

10/19/2016 1:08:47 PM

It's typical to have the DJ / band fade out after a certain amount of time and an appropriate place in the music. 1-2 minutes of dance time is enough.

10/19/2016 1:10:38 PM

after like a minute, I've seen the bride and groom start waving at people to come on the dance floor. It helps if some of your friends know that you need their help to get people on the floor when you signal.

10/19/2016 1:22:15 PM

If it is possible, have the parents jump in first, then open up the floor.

10/19/2016 1:33:19 PM

It also depends on your personal feelings for your first dance song. To me, it was a song for my bride and myself; not others, to me. Thus, I preferred that others did not dance during our song. Plus, we did our first dance right after the introductions, which was just before dinner service, so no need to get people in a dancing mood.

If however, your first dance song will lead into the general dancing time, then it's probably a good idea to get the WP to join you and encourage others. And you can do this with the first dance song, or have the DJ / band fade into a new song.

10/19/2016 1:36:11 PM

My wife and I did this at ours. Probably only about a minute into the song the DJ was instructed to tell everyone else to get in there

10/19/2016 1:40:15 PM

I've had this question asked to me as a wedding DJ before.

I recommend you have the DJ welcome couples to join you for the first dance. Have a few couples pre-arranged to be out there at the same time and dance with them

10/19/2016 3:15:20 PM

Quote :

"it's your wedding, do whatever you want"

10/19/2016 3:33:15 PM

^that is literally the worst, most annoying, and least helpful answer I got when I was planning my wedding. I, and everyone knows, its my wedding and I can do what I want. Doesn't mean it's not nice to get other peoples' input on what they've seen / done to help inform the decision making process.

10/19/2016 3:47:21 PM

We did this at my wedding. After about 1 minute of just the two of us, the DJ announced that it was our wish to be joined on the dance floor. However, we left it open for anyone to join, not just other married couples. That seems a little odd to me; why leave out unmarried attendees? I say go all or nothing.

10/19/2016 3:58:04 PM

Quote :

"that is literally the worst, most annoying, and least helpful answer I got when I was planning my wedding. I, and everyone knows, its my wedding and I can do what I want. Doesn't mean it's not nice to get other peoples' input on what they've seen / done to help inform the decision making process."

I agree. While I appreciate the meaning behind the saying "it's your wedding you can do what you want" I do like hearing other's input about the situation. But because it's my wedding and I can do what I want...there will be some Hanson sliding into the playlist

Quote :

"That seems a little odd to me; why leave out unmarried attendees? I say go all or nothing."

I see what you're saying. I think that makes sense.


I think what we are wanting to do is just have heavy hors d'oeuvres instead of a meal. I kinda like the idea of allowing people to graze throughout the event, instead of having to eat at a certain time.
So I think it would be appropriate to do the wedding party announcing, then our first dance, then invite other to join us, then just keep going from there.
Because of how both of us are about dancing, I'm not going to push to have the father/daughter dance or the mother/son dance. I'd prefer my dad do a toast instead of doing a dance.

10/19/2016 5:23:55 PM

Quote :

"That seems a little odd to me; why leave out unmarried attendees? I say go all or nothing."

This. Please don't alienate any of your guests because they aren't married.

10/19/2016 5:55:41 PM

Quote :

"Because people on TWW are a lot nicer than those crazy bitches up in those wedding message boards... "

Damn, t-dub fell off.

10/19/2016 5:58:02 PM

^lol...I was waiting for a comment on that...but seriously...I posted a question about how to handle my future step mother in law and holy shit...I had like 15 bridezillas come out go off on me...I'm still not sure what I did wrong

10/19/2016 6:01:17 PM

Ok, this isn't really a wedding question, but more of a marriage question....

To the folks out there that lived together before they got married, how is life together different?

Since he and I moved in together I have heard over and over again that things will be different after we get married. I mean, aside from different types of legal documents, I don't see how it will be much different.

So I'm curious, what do folks mean by saying that living together after marriage is different than living together before marriage?

10/22/2016 1:33:47 PM

Wasn't different at all for us

10/22/2016 2:01:10 PM

lived together for 7 years, got married this year back in May. We have gotten really good at communicating in the last few years so I can't tell any difference.

10/22/2016 4:46:03 PM

You don't need to dance to the whole song either. Our DJ suggested cutting it off a bit before 2 mins and I'm so glad he did as it felt like we were up there forever. We went to another wedding recently where they played the whole song and it was so awkward.

Also, we lived together for several years before getting married. Literally nothing has changed after marriage for us, except we are now allowed to sleep in the same room when visiting his parents and grandparents.

[Edited on October 22, 2016 at 5:09 PM. Reason : ]

10/22/2016 4:59:15 PM

^^^^Who is telling you these things?

It's certainly different depending on the couple, but no one needs to be feeding you negativity like "omg it will be different after you're married."

Maybe I'm just easily annoyed today, but I would kindly tell people to mind their own business.

10/22/2016 5:04:26 PM

You lose the "opt-out" option. That was our only change. Oh, and kids. That shit changed some shit.

10/22/2016 9:33:48 PM

Was not different at all. Probably depends on the couple though. If you did not share finances and plan to do that after wedding that might be a huge change. Once you are married parting ways becomes exponentially more painful so that surely freaks some people out once it sets in. I think most potential flaws in your partner should be apparent while you are in a pre-marital relationship if you pay attention.

I also see these people on facebook who have been married like 5 times. I assume that they are cool while dating and even moving in, but once they get married they go psycho. No one would marry them if they saw the cray before the wedding...so they have to be good at bottling that up long enough to get down the aisle...then...

10/23/2016 11:13:19 AM

getting married wont change much if you already live together especially if you don't change how y'all pay bills.



having a kid is what changes things

10/23/2016 11:54:02 AM

Quote :

"So, my first question...how common is it to invite married couples to join in halfway through the first dance? My fiancé is not really an extroverted person, and (while I am extroverted) I'm a horrible dancer and I would feel awkward having everyone's eyes on us while we dance for 4 minutes. "

this is what we did. Me and my wife danced our danced. After it was over we invited ALL the married couples up to dance. I forget the song we dance to for this but we all dance about 2/3rds of the song then the DJ said "if you been married 2 years or less, go sit down", another 30 seconds... "if you've been married 5 or less" , "10, 15, 30, etc. You get the picture. By the end we had one old couple who had been 50 years. My wife gave her the bouquet. She was crying and everything (the old lady). The DJ said "whats the secret to being married for 50?" to the woman and the man. They both had good answers and wasn't a dry eye in the house.

10/23/2016 1:38:21 PM

Quote :

"how to handle my future step mother in law"

Google DWIL and go there for that

and post it here... for science

[Edited on October 24, 2016 at 10:28 AM. Reason : but in reality you don't "handle" your SMIL, your fiance should]

10/24/2016 10:27:13 AM

It is so annoying when people seem almost offended (I guess that's the best way to describe it) when I tell them that we are having a two year long engagement. They want to know why. Like accusing me of some horrible thing.

I didn't realize it was so bad to have a long engagement. I mean we are doing it for financial reasons (more time to save money, I won't have to use his income when it comes time for FASFA). I also figured, if we're going to spend the rest of our lives together, what is the rush in getting married. I mean we already live together, so at this point it's really just a party and piece of paper.

I guess people just want me to hurry up and start having kids...joke's on them I have PCOS and there is no hurry up and have kids with that.

3/20/2017 8:10:05 PM

People will say shit no matter what you do. Fuck 'em.

3/20/2017 8:25:12 PM

Why do people think it's ok to ask me to come to my wedd8ng? You're putting me in a very awkward spot, and making me feel like an asshole. I mean with a big family and a large group of friends were already looking at a pretty big guest list.

What can I say to these people and not sound bitch?

3/21/2017 11:22:34 AM

Those are shitty people. Ignore them and hope you don't have to associate with them anymore. Only idiots and/or assholes would ask to come to a wedding.

3/21/2017 11:24:07 AM

Why does the cost of a venue go up like $1000 when you say it's for a wedding reception? I need to just start saying it's for a family gathering!

4/12/2017 7:25:13 PM

Those are also shitty people.

I noticed the same thing with flowers. And pretty much every other vendor. Not so much the spaces though

[Edited on April 12, 2017 at 7:35 PM. Reason : ]

4/12/2017 7:25:49 PM

"What type of event are you having?"

"Uh, just a family reunion that happens right after I get married."

4/12/2017 7:29:38 PM

Maybe that's a beach thing? If I remember correctly, rental prices for the places I looked were the same regardless of type. What did make it go up was the day of the week.

4/12/2017 7:35:48 PM

It doesn't help that the only time that I can do it is at the end of July, right in the middle of summer. So there goes any hope of saving money and having an outdoor reception.

At least I get the church and the preacher for free...my fiance's dad is a pastor

4/12/2017 7:37:38 PM

Next summer? I assume everything has long been booked for this summer.

4/12/2017 7:38:57 PM

Yeah, next summer. We have a two year engagement. That way, since I'm in school, I won't feel the need to rush to get things done. I can take my time and try to enjoy it.

Also, I'm not going to be working this summer...and there is a very good possibility I will resign from my position as a TA in August, to find a job that works for me, so hopefully I will have plenty of time to plan this shit out

4/12/2017 7:40:50 PM

Definitely don't hurt yourself financially just because you think need certain things. And don't spend money you don't have. No marriage should start with debt.

4/12/2017 7:42:57 PM

^Oh yeah...luckily, my parents seem to be pretty much on board with paying for it. They just paid off their house and some other debt they had, so now they are all about having some extra cash. Although, my dad informed me that I will be competing with a boat. So, we'll see what he loves more, his only daughter, or a new boat.

4/12/2017 7:44:54 PM

Lol

By the way...

What was

Quote :

"I posted a question about how to handle my future step mother in law and holy shit...I had like 15 bridezillas come out go off on me...I'm still not sure what I did wrong"

about

4/12/2017 7:46:46 PM

So, basically, before we got engaged, my fiance was talking to his dad about it. I guess his dad told his step mom, and I go over to their house and she was like "welcome to the family!" and I was like .

I knew he was going to propose, but he hadn't done it yet. So then she was telling me that we need to put an announcement in the paper and start planning everything and pick our date. I just couldn't get her to understand that it wasn't technically official yet, and I didn't want to do anything until he actually gave me the ring. That lady is kinda an idiot and she didn't get it.

But anyway, I asked about how to handle this in one of those wedding planning forums and all these chicks were like "if you've talked about getting married then you're engaged, people don't even give rings anymore to get engaged. You just have to say you're engaged and you're engaged. There is no getting ready to be engaged."

And then they started using all these acronyms like fsmil fil ffil...and I was like wtf is this?

So I left.

4/12/2017 7:53:04 PM

Yeah I did not join any of those sites. I did Google a few etiquette questions and was directed to threads there, but it mostly turned me away wanting to befriend any of those crazy women folk. Luckily our peeps are pretty chill so it turned out awesome.

4/12/2017 7:56:06 PM

How do you plan how many tables you would need for a wedding that isn't going to have a sit down dinner?

Like I know we don't need a table a chair for everyone that comes, since it will be a flowing affair. So there would be a combo of round tables w/chairs and bistro tables w/o chairs. Is there a formula to follow like enough chairs for 80% of the guests? Or should I make sure there are enough round tables with chairs for all the guests?

4/18/2017 6:58:36 PM

Will you please hurry up and get married already? I feel like this thread is five years old.

4/18/2017 7:28:31 PM