2018: message_topic.aspx?topic=650451
2017: message_topic.aspx?topic=649505
2016: MIA
2015: message_topic.aspx?topic=646551
2014: message_topic.aspx?topic=643933
2013: message_topic.aspx?topic=639963
2012: message_topic.aspx?topic=632553
2011: message_topic.aspx?topic=620902
2010: message_topic.aspx?topic=605245
2009: message_topic.aspx?topic=584031
2008: message_topic.aspx?topic=552174
2007: message_topic.aspx?topic=506882
2006: message_topic.aspx?topic=447821
2005: message_topic.aspx?topic=375305

Career: F & A

At the beginning of the year I lost my job. That really sucked. I mentioned in my 2018 post that I felt like there wasn't a lot of room for me to grow, and that I needed to figure out how to otherwise prepare myself for what would be next. That came a lot sooner than I expected, but in retrospect I wasn't surprised that it ended up not being a good fit. Having moved to NC from NYC last summer made it a lot harder to find the kinds of jobs that I wanted and I spent a good chunk of 2019 trying to figure out what I wanted to do next. Most of what I found myself wanting to do on a day to day basis was supporting Andrew Yang's nascent presidential campaign and eventually I took a job with the campaign. It's not the job title or tech stack or paycheck that I anticipated would be next for me, but I'm very happy doing the work. Plus I'm back in NYC often, which I miss. Best case scenario this job lasts all of 2020 and then I'll have to figure out what's next again after that.

Love Life: A

I'm still pretty cautious about being in a serious relationship, but you know what they say. So that said I moved in with my gf over the summer which has been great. Our kids get along really well too which is very important. I'm happy

Social / Friends: D

I miss my social circle in NYC. I haven't made any friends in NC, although I chat with a few of my kid's friend's parents. Work keeps me very busy and when I'm not working I spend time with my gf and the kids, so there's not much time left for socializing. Don't anticipate that changing any time soon, so oh well. I do get to see my parents and my sister more often though, which I'm grateful for.

Health: C-

At the beginning of the year I went to the gym most weekdays. One of the perks of not having a 9-5 job. I haven't gone to the gym since the summer. I've since gained like 15 pounds which is a lot for me. And even the more surprising because in that same timeframe I stopped drinking beer every day (although I just replaced that with mixed drinks which I expected to be better but maybe not) and I hardly ever have junk food in the house anymore either. So the weight gain has been frustrating. As far as mental health goes, I had a pretty hard first few months of the year. Started seeing a therapist again mid-year but I think by then I had realized I was depressed. Acknowledging the problem out loud was a big part of snapping out of it, and I'm in a much better place these days.

Money: F

Not happy with my financial circumstances at all right now.

Overall: B

Another year that was more difficult than I'm used to, but a lot of very good things too. I'm an optimistic person by nature, so looking forward to 2020.

12/26/2019 11:34:09 AM

Not going to do a detailed breakdown but it was like a D overall. Mostly cause my cat died unexpectedly in August and my elderly dog died somewhat less unexpectedly in October so it turned out pretty shitty.

12/26/2019 11:39:53 AM

Hit my goal weight back in March and kept the weight off so far. My wife hit her goal weight just before Christmas. Started hiking/backpacking and found out I really love it. Got stronger on the bicycle and I'm healthier than I've ever been. Never been much of a socialite and that hasn't changed. The friends I do have would walk through the fires of Hell with me, though. Did meet a guy on my first backpacking trip who I've been on two more trips with since. We are into a lot of the same things and get along well, so it's good to have someone to accompany me on some trips. Got a promotion in December and I'm now in the process of relocating to the Triad. Moving sucks, but overall 2019 kicked ass.

12/27/2019 6:57:45 AM

Career: B+

Still at the same job I got last year. Started off the year with a nice and unexpected pay raise and got to hire our temp guy on to fulltime with benefits. Still enjoy my job and my work quite a bit and most of my coworkers are great. I have two employees (both guys in their 40’s that have been in their jobs for 7-12 years) that are incredibly difficult. One is probably on the spectrum and has no idea about social skills. I have to hold his hand on basic communication and interaction, but thankfully I can point him at a project and he usually gets it done.

My main problem is one of my two remote employees. He is a complete narcissistic asshole. He finished his MBA last month and the rest of our department can’t wait for him to find another job and leave. He does absolutely no work of any value to the department. He has a huge negative impact on all of my team but sadly since we work for the state it will take quite a while to fire him and few of the people he works with onsite want to file disciplinary action when he does things to them, so its been incredibly difficult to build the case to force him out.
If I didn’t have to deal with him I would rate my job an A.

Love Life: B+

Still happily married to my wife of almost seventeen years. The bedroom has been challenging this year due to having teenage boys and my wife working fulltime, so she either has no energy or is worried about the kids hearing us or walking in on us. Went several months without at the end of the year, but thankfully the kids both had sleepovers that overlapped last week so we made up for lost time. ??

Social/Friends: A

Still get along great with local friends and coworkers. Made some new friends from band parents in the last year as well. Sadly we only hosted our first party of the year last weekend so we had a great time, but wish we could have done more. Hopefully we will in 2020.

Health: C+

Mostly kept weight around the same, but still up a bit. I really want to focus on this in 2020. I have my twentieth reunion for high school and I’d like to not be one hundred pounds heavier than I was when I left high school, which is currently where I’m at.
On mental health side it was tough for one big reason. My grandmother was tragically killed in a car accident in September. My aunt was driving my grandparents back from a follow up appointment after my grandmother had been released from the hospital. A fall had put her in the hospital for a couple weeks and she was so glad to finally be back home. She was the center of my dads family and I was her first grandchild, so we had a really close relationship, although she was close to all five of her grandchildren. She and my grandfather were together since high school, so it has been incredibly difficult on my grandfather, who is ninety. Seeing him struggle and my aunt blame herself for my grandmothers death (another person hit them so it wasn’t her fault and the other driver was charged, but she still feels responsible) has been really hard. It has brought my family closer together but left a huge fucking hole in all of our lives.

Hobbies: A

Been able to continue pursuing my favorite hobby, photography. In October I got a new body (Nikon D500) and have made several photography friends who I occasionally shoot with. Way behind on processing and sharing, but I don’t shoot for others, I do it for myself.
Other hobby that I enjoy is smart home devices. Christmas gave me a good haul of new gear for that, which I have put to good use. Just installed my first thermostat, an Ecobee SmartThermostat.

Money: B+

As mentioned, I got a nice raise. Wife had some difficulties landing in a job she enjoyed, but late spring she got a job right across the street from me. Her previous jobs included little to no benefits, but the new job is with the state, so she gets full benefits, retirement, etc. She is so much happier now.
We haven’t saved much sadly, but we have used our newfound wealth to give the kids more opportunities. Both kids are in school bands and now taking lessons, and the youngest is also in TKD. Nice being able to let the kids do stuff like this and not sweating whether the check will clear.

Overall: B

If it wasn’t for my grandma passing it would be a solid A. Overall I have so much to be thankful for this year. My parents are bringing my grandfather up to see our house tomorrow, which we’ve had almost two years now, but most of our family has never been up here to visit. I’m so glad he’s still alive but I really wish my grandmother could have come up to see it. She was incredibly proud of the leap I took several years ago to move away and pursue my career and better opportunities for my family. It hasn’t been easy but I know she’d be proud to see how things have gone up here.

12/27/2019 3:29:28 PM

Quote :

"Most of what I found myself wanting to do on a day to day basis was supporting Andrew Yang's nascent presidential campaign and eventually I took a job with the campaign."

Well that explains a lot about my twitter feed!

Family: A
My 2019 was essentially "first year as a parent" and that was pretty awesome. Had a 10 year vow renewal to celebrate a decade of marriage and 17 years together (I've been with my wife longer than I haven't been with her).

Career: B
Ups and downs, but overall had a pretty stellar year at work if I can say so. I got promoted to Principal, that came with a raise, then got another one. Can't really complain there, though of course it's wild to see people with significantly less experience leave to take better offers... Side projects really suffered due to lack of time and energy and motivation. I spent months making a gamedev tutorial and was happy with it. Trying to learn Unity for the next project and really struggling.

Health: C
Totally out of shape despite some half-hearted attempts. I got a lot of unexpected knee and foot pain. Still climbing about weekly, did a couple 5.10+, and I hope to hit the exercise hard in 2020. I went on an insane hiking trip in November. It was 14 degrees the first night we camped, with no tents. The next day we hiked what's described as one of the hardest hiking trails (without equipment) east of the Mississippi. I was clearly the most out of shape person there despite my best efforts.

Overall: B
I hope I can stop being a lazy asshole next year.

12/27/2019 9:09:54 PM

Career: A+

Getting out of the public sector has been the best move I've ever made. I've always had abysmal bosses and for the first time in my entire career have supportive ones. I manage a team of true professionals and I'm growing it quickly. Literally more than doubled which was already a strong salary, and work from home 4.5 days a week. I feel like I have a career rather than a job. I see nothing but forward momentum here and couldn't be happier in this regard. Really hoping I can finish my dissertation and take my career on a real moonshot, which was never a thing in the public sector.

Love Life: D

I just still cannot find ways to meet women on a regular basis, and the apps are more disappointing than rewarding. I can actively feel my "game" disintegrating, even though I'm great at making conversation with people that I'm not actively trying to get with. Each year it seems like good single women are further out of reach. On the plus side, I've started to come to terms with just being single and having to live up to everyone else's norms on where I "should be" at 33.

Social / Friends: B

I'm fortunate to have the friends and social opportunities I do, but I'm in a weird limbo of not being able to fully engage with my coupled-up friends' events and having my own single friends becoming less likely to come out and do things. Sunday football is dead. I'm lucky if I can get some guys together to watch State if it's an optimal game time. I can find somebody to hang out with on any given night, but I have to dig deeper and while I was a big party host in college, I'm not sure even my best attempt could draw more than a dozen or so people. Feels bad, as that's something I really enjoyed in my 20s.

Health: B

Pretty good here. I could stand to tighten up a bit, but I did a sober month in August that showed me how quickly you can fall back into shape if you try and brought some other things into perspective. Europe trip and tibia fractures set me back a bit, but hopefully, I'll bounce back and be able to run and lift more regularly. Getting back into disc golf has been really nice.

Hobbies: B

Going on three-ish years taking piano lessons. Music theory is starting to come together a bit and I can sight read the treble clef pretty well and getting there wth the bass. I can chord well in my left hand. Cooking is great. Gardening. Disc golf I've made big leaps in. Guitar, which I've played since childhoood, is improving just because of piano. Overall not too bad here. Having a house has given me plenty to do and learn.

Money: B

I make more money than I couldn've imagined a year ago, but I also had a lot of mistakes and unforeseen expenses that havne't let me realize/enjoy any of it yet. Single family home ownership as a single guy is a lot of work and I feel like the investment has to be steepest at the beginning. I've got everything set to where I'll start seeing stronger savings, stock, 401k, home equity, etc.and start to build this year and I'm excited about that.

Overall: B

I'm not sure why it's a B. You can always have more money, friends, talent, etc. I guess.

[Edited on December 27, 2019 at 11:11 PM. Reason : bold]

12/27/2019 11:10:49 PM

I guess about a C+. Banged a few more latinas. Lost roughly 10lbs. Drank about 905 bottles of wine. Haven’t had a cigarette in about 40 days, bought a new to me car. Interviewing for a job with about 30% increase in pay this week. First year since 2012 I didn’t earn 2000 miles/4 million steps, disappointed in that. In 2020, 2 main goals would to meet more people, and cut down on wine.

12/29/2019 8:09:37 PM

Career is tops everything else needs work

12/29/2019 11:34:53 PM

2019 was an F. A lot of turmoil in my personal life. Career-wise I'm not satisfied with myself or the path I'm on.

1/6/2020 7:43:35 PM

F's across the board. Pretty sure I spent like 75% of 2019 lying in bed being depressed and shit. 2020 not shaping up too great either.

1/6/2020 7:49:02 PM

Brief summary of the entire decade---
Survived from the Great Recession and settled down in triangle; Bought a single-family house and paid off half of the debts; Had a kid and raised her up to elementary school so far; Got permanent residency and will become citizen this summer; Worked as software engineer and jumped to DevOp/Automation field;Got loyal to Jesus and am on the way to get baptized; Registered and became a regular TWW poster.

1/7/2020 10:41:33 AM

Career: C

My new job is great, but there is a lot of stress. Don't know how much of that is the actual job or self-created.

Love Life: C

I have a boyfriend

Social / Friends: C

One of my best friends is in California. We didn't talk much last year - we are both in different life situations. I was single most of 2019 and my friend is married with a child. But I want to visit her one of these days.

Health: C

I'm taking my medications. Trying to do meditation is hard with stress, but I'm aiming at one meditation session per day.

Money: C

I'm in a good place in terms of having savings in case of family emergency, but I also know that the savings are not sustainable for taking a year off from work or compensate due to a health emergency. I know this because I moved to Michigan briefly and it was alarming how quickly saved up money runs out if there's not enough coming in. We all have to work in the US. It's not possible to coast. Not having a job in America really bites. So having steady employment is my #1 goal.

Overall: C

Meh.

1/9/2020 6:19:15 AM

Career: C
Got ahead, got burned a little by the boss but recognized by the boss's boss's and moved up to a position with more responsibility and away from my boss. But still under the boss. Which is fine. No raise with the change, which I don't mind at all. Learning new stuff is a big deal to me.


Love Life: F

Ex committed suicide. Got to help him work through the last few weeks of it, he didn't finish himself off all the way so I pulled the plug on him as POA at the VA Hospital in Durham. Took him 2.5 weeks to emaciate and drown with brain damage incurred by the suicide. Got closure out of being with him at his death bed. Cremated him and brought him up to Arlington National Cemetery, put him in the wall myself. Came close to killing myself, too.
Oh, I also had an affair with a coworker who turned out to be married. He had started it suddenly with me the week my ex died. It ended badly and didn't help my depression from the suicide. I felt worthless in the end and am not seeing him anymore.

Social / Friends: A

Got to know my ex-husband's best friend. She and I talk constantly now, and we vacation together.
Fooled around with a coworker from a past job in North Dakota. He has relocated to NJ, he's a handful and a mouthful and an everything-ful. He is a few years younger than me. He knows me and knows how to deal with me. We are into different things but I think he's as good as it's going to get for a long time. Probably ever. No relationship for us... just friends with benefits, which is what I do best.

Health: D

Back in AA full time. Not eating enough. Doing PT for migraines and scoliosis. Frequent headaches cannot be treated with NSAIDs due to ulcer, and I am in construction so I do not do drugs.

Money: A

2019 raise sucked last year but spending less with no men in the picture. The raise the year before was so good I'm not worried about last year. Took the raise money and put it into a mortage savings account. Put the rest into stock market for 2020 coronavirus crash, but I digress. Splurged a bit on photography prints for family and close friends. Air show came to town, made some air force friends who wanted "the donut" vapor trail off the F35A when she blinked a few times over Jacksonville Beach. Pics of the ex went out to family, etc. Of course my work apartment looks like an art gallery. I should just set up a damn stand one day and sell them all off and start over.

Overall: C
I did not commit suicide, returned to AA after not going to meetings right before the ex killed himself, and I was there for his best friend and his youngest daughter who both went through a hard hit. Getting caught in a vicious fight between a couple of bad bosses at work was a cakewalk, went on around the same time as this. Taught me a lot about them, and from now on I have a zero-diplomacy policy at work while still being polite and professional. I do not keep secrets for bosses, I do not tell white lies for anybody. No more screwing around with married men, no matter what suicides are going on. Little lessons from 2019.

5/15/2020 5:01:30 PM

*hug*

5/15/2020 8:02:51 PM