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7/31/2011 7:42:54 PM

I am friends with this one person on Facebook who writes blatant lies about themselves. Kind of comical. But mostly sad.

[Edited on July 31, 2011 at 7:48 PM. Reason : Sad]

7/31/2011 7:46:08 PM

post one!

desperate for entertainment here.

7/31/2011 7:59:51 PM

Quote :

"Don't buy the new Pepsi can coming out with the picture of The Empire State Building and The Pledge of Allegiance? on them. Pepsi left out two little words on the pledge."Un?der God". Pepsi said they didn't want to offend anyone. (Well I'm offended) So if we don't buy them they won't be offended when they don't receive our money that has the words "In God We Trust" on it. How fast can you repost this?!? ??"

I responded with:
http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/undergod.asp

[Edited on July 31, 2011 at 9:06 PM. Reason : V]

7/31/2011 9:03:20 PM

7/31/2011 9:04:09 PM

This one's kinda funny

Quote :

"For all you single ladies who are in such a hurry to get married, here's a quick piece of Biblical advice: Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz. While waiting on YOUR Boaz,don't settle for ANY of his relatives: Brokeaz, Poaz, Lyinaz, Cheatinaz, Dumbaz, Cheapaz, Lockedupaz, Goodfornothinaz, Lazyaz, or Marriedaz, and especially his third cousin Beatinyoaz. Please, wait on your Boaz & make sure he respects Yoaz.."

8/1/2011 4:35:26 PM

^ okay i like that one

8/1/2011 4:37:43 PM

TURBOPUNS

8/1/2011 4:44:06 PM

Quote :

"Why do pregnant girls post 40 pictures a day of them standing in front of a mirror holding their belly"

lol, i agree but at the same time...if i ever get preggars im gonna be fucking enamored with the fact that there is a human being in there.

8/1/2011 4:46:04 PM

8/1/2011 4:47:46 PM

^lololololol


i love that

8/1/2011 4:48:29 PM

^^awesome

8/1/2011 4:51:32 PM

I am the same way. I know pregnancy isn't any big deal in the grand scheme of things, but there's a new human being growing inside of you. That is so weird to wrap your head around.

8/1/2011 4:52:48 PM

Welp, it's time for the breast cancer statuses again...

8/1/2011 5:46:50 PM

From the "You're Probably From Rocky Mount If..." group.

Quote :

"you went to the abandon house beside what use to be Parkview Hospital to see the babies in jars NO SHIT!"

(I really wish I had known about this. )

Quote :

"if u eva had to rent not only da movie... but the damn VCR TOO from rent america.... # That big black mufucka too!!! That's when it was a bank in front of it before it became a carwash, tax return place, another car wash and whatever it is. Shit was cool to get that shit back then! Jeter ure ass is funny!! Lol # yes.....two people had to help u bring it in da house... And it did not look like a normal vcr...so ur ass didnt even want to steal it.....ahhhhh......good times.....or should i say poor times....."

Quote :

"eretime rent a center at yo door u turn off all the lites tv off and lay on the floor...lmao"

Quote :

"If yu or sumone yu kno aint pay they rent and got padlocked out da house!!!"

Quote :

"U NO DAT DA TRACKS RUN THREW DOWN TOWN BY HUX SEPARATE NASH&EDGECOMBE COUNTY!!!!!!!"

Quote :

"U GOT YOUR HOUSE PHONE IN YOUR KIDS NAME"

[Edited on August 2, 2011 at 4:30 PM. Reason : s]

8/2/2011 4:29:53 PM

Quote :

"The government, today, announced that it's changing its emblem from a Bald Eagle to a CONDOM, because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while you're being screwed. It just doesn't get more accurate than that!"

8/4/2011 1:11:20 PM

BRINGING THE STUPID TODAY

Quote :

"JERSSSSSDAYYYYYY! Sporting the Snooki bump tonight in honor of the Season Premiere ? woooohooooooooooooooo "

8/4/2011 1:56:11 PM

Not all today, but these guys are good for a quick lol

Quote :

"Just came back from a shrimp dinner and honestly about lost my shrimp dinner. Saw some lady hop out the car in a bikini to walk through a DRIVE THRU ATM, I thought she was going to look bangin, mayne, it was more like she looked BANGED UP. I'm cool with cellulite, but that was more like celluheavy."

Quote :

"Today I killed two birds with one stone, then I got kicked out of the pet store."

Quote :

"You know, I'm not a fan of Sara Jessica Parker or nothing, but it would be kind of nice if she could be talked about without a bunch of dudes chiming in with how repulsive and unattractive they find her and how she resembles a horse or how she literally is a horse and they want to feed her a carrot and clean her hooves."

Quote :

"I renamed my wireless router "FBI Surveillance Van #32". *giggle*"

I lol'd

8/10/2011 8:51:27 PM

Quote :

"A NC State Fan, a UNC Fan, and a Duke Fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves their team the most. The State Fan insists that he is most loyal and then yells, "This is for the Wolfpack!" and jumps off the mountain. Not to be outdone, the Carolina Fan next professes his love for his team. He screams, "THIS IS FOR THE TAR HEELS!" and pushes the Duke Fan off the mountain. Go Tarheels!!!!!"

8/21/2011 11:54:49 AM

Quote :

"You think 7 years bad luck is harsh for breaking a mirror? Try breaking a condom."

8/22/2011 8:30:13 AM

Quote :

"Obama wakes up one night to see George Washington's ghost! He says, "George, how can I help this country?" Washington replies, "Be honest with the people like I was!" Obama goes back to sleep and awakes again. This time he sees Thomas Jefferson's ghost! He says, "Tom, how can I help this country?" Jefferson says, "Love the constitution like I did!" Waking up again, he sees Abe Lincoln's ghost, and he says, "Abe, how can I help this country?" Abe replies, "Go see a play!""

8/22/2011 8:24:18 PM

Maria D********r

?? WUD U B VITO/MIKE CORELEON OR TONY MONTANA? HMM 2MUCH POWER N DOE ENVY WAS AL ROUN SMH

8/22/2011 11:53:06 PM

Posted by a viewer on a local TV Meteorologist's Facebook page:

Quote :

"What I want to know is that the water the quake displaced was pushed towards the hurricane, will that possibly make it stronger?"

8/23/2011 7:27:29 PM

Lol one of my coworkers I'm friend's with on Facebook is bitching about how a couple of our other offices had to close early after the quake. My coworker is in San Diego and complaining how their office never closes and we're all sissies. I pointed out to her that we felt the earthquake as well but our office stayed open. She finally stopped bitching.

8/23/2011 8:29:43 PM

Quote :

"Stay at home mom and wife"

is not your employer

8/24/2011 11:19:43 PM

Not my facebook, but still

Quote :

"The good news is that hurricanes blow in tropical birds that we might not otherwise see (for the birders among us)."

8/25/2011 10:41:30 AM

Hahaha. I saw that on TWC as well.

8/25/2011 11:43:30 AM

Quote :

"FYI!!! Little white and black caterpillars are all over and are POISONOUS. They are apparently new to the area.... Doctors say there has been numerous kids having reactions to them. The rash spreads fast. The caterpillars have long white hairs that embed in skin and send poison throughout the body.… DO NOT TOUCH!!!! They look cute and fuzzy, BUT THEY ARE NOT!!!! Please re-post to any..."

8/28/2011 11:06:55 AM

KILL THEM WITH FIRE!!!

8/28/2011 11:20:04 AM

Quote :

"IF YOUR ON GODS SIDE THEN REPOST. IF YOUR ON THE DEVILS SIDE THEN JUST KEEP ON SCROLLING!"

8/30/2011 10:38:23 PM

If you believe in God re-post this. Please don't ignore. You are being tested. For it says in the Bible, "Deny me in front of everyone and I will deny you in front of my father".

8/30/2011 11:01:03 PM

But it is also written:

"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full."

8/30/2011 11:05:45 PM

Quote :

"The White male is like the stingray: You keep hunting him down, you're going to wind up with a barb in your chest. These muslims haven't seen the White male yet. They don't understand that the White male dropped two atomic bombs on Japan. They don't remember what the White male is capable of because he's been subdued for so long. But if they keep provoking this nation, they will be reminded of just how vicious the White male can be."

9/7/2011 1:09:54 AM

this just happened:

Quote :

"PLEASE KEEP THIS TRUCK MOVING AND SHOW OUR SUPPORT!!! - - - - - - _ ¦ ¦ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¦ - - - _ _ ¦ ¦ ¦ ¦ ¦ ? ¦ 9/11 VICTIMS & THEIR FAMILIES ¦¦ ?¦ ¦¦ _ _ _ ¦ ¦ ¦ ¦ ¦ ¦ ¦ ? ¦ ¦¦ WE WILL NEVER FORGET ¦¦¦ ¦ ?¦ ¦¦ ¦ ¦ ¦ ¦ ¦ ¦ ¦ ¦ ¦ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ¦ ¯ (@) ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ (@)(@) ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ (@) ¯ ? TO ALL WHO LOST LOVED ONES AND TO THE HERO'S!?"

9/11/2011 2:04:18 PM

^^a incredibly racist as that sounds today, from a historical perspective, it's pretty accurate.

9/11/2011 3:08:21 PM

^^Why does that have a question mark after the also incorrect "Hero's?"

9/11/2011 3:23:53 PM

Quote :

"Quote : "Obama wakes up one night to see George Washington's ghost! He says, "George, how can I help this country?" Washington replies, "Be honest with the people like I was!" Obama goes back to sleep and awakes again. This time he sees Thomas Jefferson's ghost! He says, "Tom, how can I help this country?" Jefferson says, "Love the constitution like I did!" Waking up again, he sees Abe Lincoln's ghost, and he says, "Abe, how can I help this country?" Abe replies, "Go see a play!"" "

I'm sure it shouldn't but that one did make me LOL.....

9/11/2011 3:27:49 PM

presidential assassinations are hilarious!

9/11/2011 4:07:13 PM

Quote :

"Asked some kid in the brickyard what all the fuss was about. He replied, "Obama," and I instinctively wrinkled my nose and went "Ew" as I quickly walked away. Obama doesn't deserve my manners."

a)everybody deserves manners in a civilized society
b)someone commented "youre precious" to that...wtf? buy a dictionary and look up precious.
c)not surprisingly the girl who wrote this LOVES natty greene's

9/13/2011 10:28:21 AM

LOL Natty Green's

9/13/2011 11:18:59 AM

Quote :

"God is really testing my patients!!! Ugh... come oooooooon Anny... keep it together!!!"

9/14/2011 2:08:49 PM

tempted to defriend anyone complaining about the traffic due to the President being in town

9/14/2011 2:11:06 PM

i've been twitter raging on the Pres about closing down the highway

but i have nothing but love for him.

9/14/2011 2:21:12 PM

Quote :

"IS OFFICIAL. IT WAS EVEN ON THE NEWS. FACEBOOK WILL START CHARGING DUE TO THE NEW PROFILE CHANGES. IF YOU COPY THIS ON YOUR WALL YOUR ICON WILL TURN BLUE AND FACEBOOK WILL BE FREE FOR YOU. PLEASE PASS THIS MESSAGE ON, IF NOT YOUR ACCOUNT WILL BE DELETED IF YOU DO NOT PAY"

9/23/2011 11:17:36 AM

hahaha people think that?

9/23/2011 11:30:45 AM

at least one on my friends list does

9/23/2011 10:57:47 PM

Quote :

"Do me a favor: please hover over my name here, wait for the box to load and then hover over the "Subscribe" link. Then uncheck the "Comments and likes" choice. I would rather my comments on friends' posts not be made public. Thanks. Repost if you don't want your EVERY MOVE posted on the right for everyone to see! I'll do the same for you if you want; just click "like." (Doing this for others will also unclutter your news feed a great deal.)"

9/24/2011 6:28:57 PM

Quote :

"FACEBOOK JUST RELEASED THEIR PRICE GRID FOR MEMBERSHIP. $9.99 PER MONTH FOR GOLD MEMBER SERVICES, $6.99 PER MONTH FOR SILVER MEMBER SERVICES, $3.99 PER MONTH FOR BRONZE MEMBER SERVICES, FREE IF YOU COPY AND PASTE THIS MESSAGE BEFORE MIDNIGHT TONIGHT. WHEN YOU SIGN ON TOMORROW MORNING YOU WILL BE PROMPTED FOR PAYMENT INFO...IT IS OFFICIAL IT WAS EVEN ON THE NEWS. FACEBOOK WILL START CHARGING DUE TO THE NEW PROFILE CHANGES. IF YOU COPY THIS ON YOUR WALL YOUR ICON WILL TURN BLUE AND FACEBOOK WILL BE FREE FOR YOU. PLEASE PASS THIS MESSAGE ON IF NOT YOUR ACCOUNT WILL BE DELETED IF YOU DO NOT PAY"

9/25/2011 2:04:22 PM

^came to post the same one...and some responded on the girl's status and said:

Quote :

"how do u copy on wall"

9/25/2011 2:23:55 PM

Why doesn't facebook just notify the user that they are posting a message like that. You know they track trending statuses like that and could block it as spam if they wanted.

9/25/2011 3:08:44 PM