Four of my recent (relatively-speaking, anyway) ex-girlfriends have gone on to marry their next boyfriend, the one most would consider a rebound relationship. Three of these four have done it in relatively short order, and it's starting to get a little weird. I'm not going to be so narcissistic as to insinuate it has anything to do with me but I'm still wondering what the hell's going on.

Thoughts? If I take the conceited, causal, white/black approximation: either I'm so awesome that they had to settle with something to fill the void in their lives or I'm so terrible that they had to latch on to the next guy, whoever he is, to make sure that never happens again. More likely: I'm in the age where the get-married-settle-down-have-kids gene starts to kick in for most girls, they don't want to waste any more time in putting themselves out there for failed relationships?



If you would like further reading, continue below--

In no particular order -

Girl 1: ended up pity-dating some milquetoast she worked with because she was so lonely, said "yes" when he popped the question VERY quickly because she was too weak to say no, all the while she's still coming over to my place as "friends." Friends don't do the horizontal mamba after amateur boudoir photo-shoots. It's not my style to hook up with another guy's woman, even if she was mine first, and it wouldn't have happened if I didn't think he was a completely spineless pansy that talked shit about me while she and I were together (but wouldn't look me in the eye when I'd visit her work). The problem is, she didn't think much better of him. Hope the marriage gets better than the engagement! Still tries to meet up with me once in a while, though platonically.

Girl 2: took the break-up HARD. ended up with the next guy she could find and moved across the country. still calls me to this day, still looking for "closure."

Girl 3: didn't date for that long in the grand scheme, but we had a furious and passionate relationship, genuinely cool girl. I ended it over some shit that was, in retrospect, pretty stupid; she'd have been a keeper if that's what I was looking for at the time. I don't think she took the break-up as hard as girls 1 and 2 but I still run into her and her husband once in a while and she still gives me the eye when he's looking the other way.

Girl 4: after we broke up, would still see each other here and there over the next few years. she never "got over" me, apparently I was the first "man" (her words) she'd ever been with; learned all this and learned all that during our time together and "turned her out" sexually, as they say. She's been with this guy for at least a couple years, but I'd just always assumed when we'd hook up that they weren't together. Then I'd see online a week or two later that they were "in a relationship" again...oh well, I did my due diligence. One day we met up and hooked up in a park, she asked me if I wanted to get back together. I said no, she posts on facebook that she's engaged to the guy three days later. I feel kinda bad, especially because the guy is a military man--but I honestly would never have touched her if I thought their relationship was still existent.

2/13/2012 3:20:51 PM

Move on.

/thread.

2/13/2012 3:22:00 PM

just keep living the dream, bruh

2/13/2012 3:22:57 PM

tl;dr: I would like to publicly and verbally masturbate to the notion that I've left a lasting impression on ex-gfs.

2/13/2012 3:24:30 PM

post pictures


our assessment of the matter depends on them

2/13/2012 3:24:36 PM

By the way..."Girl 1" was fucking her work buddy while you two were dating.

2/13/2012 3:25:13 PM

Usage of the word

Quote :

"milquetoast"

FTW!

2/13/2012 3:25:52 PM

cool stories bro

ITT users with posts < 1000

2/13/2012 3:27:50 PM

Quote :

"Move on."

check

Quote :

"just keep living the dream, bruh"

u no how we do

Quote :

"I would like to publicly and verbally masturbate to the notion that I've left a lasting impression on ex-gfs."

ding ding ding

Quote :

"post pictures our assessment of the matter depends on them"

these come in to play after the above

Quote :

"By the way..."Girl 1" was fucking her work buddy while you two were dating."

doubt it, but who knows these days

Quote :

"Usage of the word"

\o

[Edited on February 13, 2012 at 3:38 PM. Reason : missed one]

2/13/2012 3:28:51 PM

from the way you described each relationship, it sounds like you have an over inflated sense of self worth and you think you are the best thing to happen to them, when in reality after dating such a self centered person they realized that there are better more rounded people out there and decided that they would rather have that. You sound like a giant douche.

2/13/2012 3:29:05 PM

^ Whew.. I'm glad I wasn't the only one sensing the douche-factor here.

2/13/2012 3:29:50 PM

what other type of massage is there?

2/13/2012 3:29:53 PM

^^^I'm sure you're spot-on

[Edited on February 13, 2012 at 3:30 PM. Reason : no doubt]

2/13/2012 3:29:56 PM

well, take into account some girls can exaggerate to make a man feel more 'manly' so that they can get what they want. I think a lot of it has to do with the age thing you mentioned. Some of the women you described sound pretty desperate to get married (maybe you should stop dating the desperate ones? ) so they wanted to land you (maybe you are good looking/have enough money to support a family) and that is what some women aim for, and a lot of times these 'patterns' come down to your mate selection. There is something in these desperate-to-be-wives that is attractive to you, and their hunger for the ring is just another trait.

You may want to try and broach this topic early in your next relationship. Tell them upfront if you want a casual thing, or just a relationship with no long term garuntees because you are not sure what you want at this point in your life. The best thing you can do is early on tell them that they are a booty call, or a great girlfriend... but that you also have a lot of hang ups about getting married. Tell her why you are not big on marriage (you don't want kids, you are afraid of a big commitment, you are afraid it will ruin a good relationship etc) this is important because this will weed out the girls that are not so much interested in you as they are your sperm and money, but more importantly it will allow the girl time to consider how she feels about the relationship.

2/13/2012 3:35:19 PM

Quote :

"Biography : This is the alias of a regular user that knows many of you IRL. I made this so I could post about all the stuff that I'd rather people not associate with me or those that know me."

this alias likes to make threads about his various relationships
message_topic.aspx?topic=554839
message_topic.aspx?topic=584434
message_topic.aspx?topic=590637

2/13/2012 3:36:53 PM

^^ That's some impressive insight. I would say that, yes, at least two of the aforementioned girls are the desperate-to-get-married type. I don't maintain that I'm anything that special, I can't speak to looks but I sho ain't rich. I think that you're right though--something I was looking for at the time in girls came inexorably with that family drive. I've changed my methodology a bit, my current gf (though she dropped the M-bomb pretty early) is well aware of my intentions.


^ hahahha that predictable

2/13/2012 3:43:58 PM

Quote :

"said "yes" when he popped the question VERY quickly"

Isn't the answer typically given right after the question is asked? How much quicker could it be?

2/13/2012 4:00:46 PM

I'm surprised that no one aliased yet.

alias?

2/13/2012 4:02:16 PM

lol, somebody did "alias". I was too drunk to notice.

2/13/2012 4:04:02 PM

You sound like a giant douche.

2/13/2012 4:05:16 PM

Quote :

"I'm in the age where the get-married-settle-down-have-kids gene starts to kick in for most girls"

the simplest explanation is usually true

2/13/2012 4:06:34 PM

I'd like to see what girls 1-4 would say, personally

2/13/2012 4:10:47 PM

can someone link to the "pussy smells" thread mentioned in one of his other threads?

2/13/2012 4:17:21 PM

Do this a couple of times.

#humblebrag

2/13/2012 4:28:29 PM

i'd like a serious bf who i could possibly marry...

can we go out for a few months and then you dump me?


that seems like a quicker and more fail safe way to find a husband than actually dating

2/13/2012 4:32:06 PM

Quote :

"You sound like a giant douche."

2/13/2012 4:36:24 PM